Tag: Mila Kunis

Turns out Yuba County is a real county, in California, not near the bigger cities, but up North. It assumed it was a made up county, but there are a shit ton of counties out there in the US, so might as well be a Yuba county. Hell, there might be more than one Yuba County, and only the California one do people care about because the other one is in Idatana or somewhere else.

So for Breaking News in Yuba County, it is supposed to feel like some average sized place, with commodities and businesses and a news, but not a big ass city. Just a regular village in the middle of nowhere. 

What kind of news would be Breaking News in a place like this? Cupcake sale? Doggy parade? Maybe 20 dead in a mall shooting?

Who knows, the sky is the limit, and in this movie, characters are going to have to die I guess. 

“No please, don’t kill Jimmi Simpson, anyone but him!”

Sue Buttons (Allison Janney) is getting old, and her life is stuck in a rut, but it is her birthday, and she is going to enjoy it, damn it. But the people at her work do not remember her birthday. Her husband (Matthew Modine) doesn’t seem to remember her birthday, and runs out on her in the morning, and doesn’t respond to texts to meet up with her for her birthday dinner reservations! Shit. It turns out he was cheating on her. And when she confronts him in the motel room while doing the dirty deed, he seems to have a heart attack, and dies, right then and there.

Well damn. Birthdays. She is shocked, and a bit dumb struck on what to even do. But she doesn’t call the cops to tell them what happened. Nope. She decides to hide his body instead. Then the next day she can report him as missing.

You see, in the news lately, there has been a little girl missing, and the parents have been all over the news, quite famous really, and everyone is caring hard for them. So she is going to report him missing, knowing that he will never be found. Then she can be in the spotlight. She can be famous. People will care for her.

This main plot line is intermingled with quite a few others, including extortion, mafia crimes, news reporters fighting for scoops, and more. 

Also starring Mila Kunis, Regina Hall, Awkwafina, Wanda Sykes, Ellen Barkin, Jimmi Simpson, Keong Sim, Juliette Lewis, Clifton Collins Jr., Samira Wiley, and Bridget Everett. 

Step 1: Lie. Step 2: ??????. Step 3: Fame

Who doesn’t love a good dark comedy? A whole lot of people getting offed, in ridiculous ways, while also maintaining a level of humor and plot of quirky individuals. And honestly, a lot of big names in this cast to potentially get whacked. And that is half of the fun in these films.

But I also honestly thing the lead character in this story is so unpleasantly bland that it is hard to fully enjoy this movie. Like many films, the side characters make it work. The strange workings of the very odd plot. The bad decisions people make. Obviously the main character is meant to be bland and having pretty damn superficial goals, and it is a bit rage inducing. 

A movie can intentionally have characters not fun to watch, but can’t also be mad if we think they aren’t fun to watch. Janney is a great actress and really gives it her all to make this person unbearable. And I can’t bear it.

It is a shame because I do like a lot of moments in this film, but it is just one I don’t think I would ever want to revisit despite the fun events. Fuck, Collins Jr. as a ruthless killer for the mob and he is so great at it. Sykes mostly plays her self but she does it so well. Kunis could have been more ruthless in her role as a reporter and someone close to the scene, but they need a few people to not be outrageous I guess.

Breaking News in Yuba County, watch it once, enjoy parts of it, then move on. 

Bad Moms thankfully came out the week before or during my vacation in the summer. A glorious time where I missed, frankly, a lot of terrible movies.

I am judging Bad Moms not just by its cover, but by the actresses picked, the trailer, and the marketing they went through. I read it was originally going to involve Judd Apatow and star Leslie Mann instead, and that made the previews make a lot more sense. It looks like a movie he would make about this subject, if it was more dramatic and had an additional 45 minutes or so.

But to come out with this film, with the lame title, the same year Dirty Grandpa [Editor’s Note: This made more sense when I said Bad Grandpa, but that was years ago. I am too lazy to change this joke]? As Bad Santa 2? Come on, we all know 2016 sucked, but was it really necessary to make so many bad films?

The worst thing a mom can do is drink when her children are 12 years past breastfeeding, don’t cha know.

Amy (Mila Kunis) is a hard working mother. She makes breakfast, she works extra hours at her part time job, she comes home and makes dinner, she volunteers with the PTA, she takes her kids (Oona Laurence, Emjay Anthony) to after school activities and helps with all of their projects. Her husband (David Walton) has a relatively easy job, but it brings in the money. Except he doesn’t help with all of the extra stuff, leaving it all on her.

And then she finds him jerking it to a cam model, live, and he has been doing it for 10 months now. So she wants a break. She kicks him out and goes out drinking. She meets Carla (Kathryn Hahn), another single mom (with a much older kid) and they have a blast. They eventually gain Kiki (Kristen Bell) as well after Amy defies the PTA president (Christina Applegate) in front of the entire PTA. Kiki is even more overstressed and needs to have fun.

So you know, they go and have more fun. They make their kids make breakfast, do their own work and start focusing on themselves more. I know, very bad moms indeed. And when the PTA president gets angry at Amy’s kids for defying her, Amy decides she is going to run against her and promise a whole lot less work.

Also featuring Jay Hernandez as a single dad who Amy likes. And J.J. Watt as a soccer coach. And Wanda Sykes, Jada Pinkett Smith, Wendell Pierce, and Clark Duke.

Bad moms apparently are real big jerks in grocery stores.

Damn it, here I am, spending my time, trying to watch what might be the worst of the worst in 2016, and then I find myself wasting time with Bad Moms. Because Bad Moms isn’t the worst of the worst. Is it great? Hell no. But it isn’t downright terrible either.

Yes, I am disappointed that I didn’t hate it more, but it had a handful of amusing moments. Sure, Hahn’s character was just terrible. Bell has done better way before. And Kunis never feels believable in this role. Technically the best person in their role might be Applegate as the stuck up, stereotypical, PTA President. Which is a weird place to see her career at the moment.

Bad Moms is full of wish fulfillment, and of course the message that moms matter too, so they should have fun more and let their kids grow up without them always holding their hands. And that dads should be involved. A fine message, but something that feels like it doesn’t need to be said at this point in human history. Maybe 30-40 years ago.

It is jam packed with the latest party tunes, to date this movie further in a few years. There are several party montage scenes, at the bar, at the grocery store, and a much longer one of mostly average looking middle aged women partying like a college party. And that almost seems to be the entire point of the film.

Bad Moms isn’t terrible, it just is far from a great or even a good or okay movie. Better casting and better jokes would have went a long way with this film.

I don’t think I am ready for this Jelly.

When I first heard about Jupiter Ascending, I was a bit worried. It seemed too far out there, with questionable stars, and a questionable plot. But hey, summer blockbuster, whatever.

JUST KIDDING. It got switched from June to July. But in June, it got pushed back to FEBRURARY 2015. Whoa! That is intense. Blockbusters don’t exist in February. Shitty terrible CGI movies exist in February. This one is going to have a lot of CGI! Ahh!

Apparently it was to finish special effects. They were behind schedule. Right. More likely they moved it back for some terrible reason, like, no faith that it would make money and they just wanted to hide it. Not to mention their awkward Sundance story, they have everything working against them.

The real reason they moved it back was to not ruin Redmayne‘s chance at an acting Oscar.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) always thought she was going to do something with her life. But now she is a grown woman, still living with her mom and extended family in Chicago, technically illegal aliens from Russia. She scrubs toilets and dreams of the big life.

And then, aliens from not Earth are trying to kill her! Oh shit!

Here’s what you need to know. There is some space royalty out there. And the mother, the main ruler just died so her kids have inherited a lot of the universe. The oldest, Balem (Eddie Redmayne), the middle female, Kalique (Tuppence Middleton), and the youngest, Titus (Douglas Booth). They are humans, they have been alive for thousands of years, and they look young as fuck.

But now Balem has “control” over Earth (and Jupiter, I guess). And he wants Jupiter Jones, specifically, dead. And maybe the rest of the earth. Jupiter has no idea what is going on, just that aliens are real, Caine (Channing Tatum) has weird ears and keeps saving her, and shit’s crazy.

Also featuring Sean Bean, lizard men soldiers, crazy visuals, pew pew pews, bees, and more pew pew pews.

And the coolest (technically still slow) form of transportation sense the hover board.

Jupiter Ascending was weird. And I really can’t tell if that is a good weird or a bad weird.

Easy enough of a solution, let’s get my pros and cons on.

Pros: There is a unique story behind everything. Some of the special effects are really polished and amazing. Sean Bean is in it. Channing Tatum isn’t terrible. Mila Kunis isn’t terrible. The lizard dudes out of no where are pretty well made and bamf. Roller skating/gravity boots. Bureaucracy. And it is definitely more polished than a shitty January/February CGI movie release.

Cons: The entire romance plot feels forced. Some of the special effects are piss poor and terrible. The sound quality in some scenes make a few actors hard to understand (Bean, Redmayne, occasional lizardman). Entire movie feels rushed, like it was actually supposed to be thirty minutes longer. Like some executive said “Fuck this rescue scene. We know they will save em. Let’s just get the plot going!”

And then there is Eddie Redmayne. Every time he was on screen, my head was tilted just trying to get it. Everything about him is just so weird. His character has an awkawrd soft/whisper voice for most of the film, outside of the three or four times he yells completely out of nowhere. Also tons of quick cuts.

Ugh. But also the story was interesting and I cared about what happened.

There are a lot of things wrong with Jupiter Ascending. Acting decisions, editing, cuts, kind of lame ending. But also some really great action scenes, cool visuals, and interesting universe.

Fuck.

It turns out, more than one movie came out this weekend. That is right. The very strongly advertised and anticipated Oz The Great And Powerful. Really, I feel bad for any other movie trying to make money. It’d be like coming out vs The Avengers.

Of course, there is also the potential for naysayers. You can’t touch The Wizard of Oz after all. It is too nostalgic to be remade, re-imagined, or even associated with anything. Okay sure. Maybe the classic was based off of a book and not original. But at least it was the only one, right?

Fuck to the no. That classic was at least the 6th or 7th movie version of it, in a 30 year span. I just like to point this stuff out to people, who are quick to say Hollywood is no longer original, always rebooting. The movie you love was a reboot on its own.

So if they want to make up a prequel, with a lame china doll girl, by all means, I say let them!

Go figure, it takes place in Kansas. Oz (James Franco) is working at a traveling fair, being quite the ladies man. Maybe too much of a ladies man. His assistant Frank (Zach Braff) he treats like a trained monkey! Foreshadowing. Either way, he makes the Strong Man angry. Has to run, hops in a hot air balloon. Oh no, Tornado! Boom, Oz.

Shit is all in color and widescreen. Potentially dangerous as well.

Good thing he was found by Theodora (Mila Kunis) and not some creepy flying monkey. She is a witch, but thankfully not wicked. Nor is her sister, Evanora (Rachel Weisz), the current pseudo-ruler of Oz. They are all stoked, that the prophecy is coming true! An Oz will save the day, destroy the witch, and he will rule the land. Yay!

Or you know, shenanigans. Greed. Oz isn’t really the nicest or most honest man. Not to mention not actually being a wizard. Can he, will he, kill the witch? Well, just think about the fact that this is a prequel, then figure it out.

Featuring Michelle Williams as Glinda the Good, Joey King as china doll girl, Tony Cox as a helper, Bill Cobbs as a “Tinkerer” and Bruce Campbell. Why Bruce? Because its a Sam Raimi film.

Plot Twist: Bruce Campbell is the wicked witch!

I watched Oz on the opening night, in 3D, of course. It opens with a long title sequence, and its pretty fantastic. Really sets the mood. If you couldn’t tell from the trailer, the Kansas scenes are in a brown tinted lack of color scope, and squarely in the middle of the screen. Thats okay.

But Oz? Oz kind of turns into a CGI slugfest, over the top and extraordinary. I should have known it when I saw it was Alice In Wonderland producers, which might have had 2 real actors the whole movie as far as I could tell. Nothing wrong with special effects, but most of the time, the cast felt out of place or up against a green screen.

The acting in the movie isn’t the best either. Franco seemed like he wasn’t trying, nor did really any of the witches. Kunis plays some odd naivety, Weisz typical angst, and Williams felt like she had nothing to work with.

I might have been a bit bored halfway through, waiting for the eventual plot changes.

But you know what? The ending is kind of amazing. The attack on Oz, to the playful tricks (some of which are obvious, but not all of them), to the resolution, all feels pretty dang great. Not to mention a small part where Sam Raimi actually threw in an Evil Dead reference, which made me as giddy as a school girl.

Was this movie a lot less spectacular than advertised? Yes. But the ending almost made it super worthy to me.

Ted kind of came out of no where for me. I think I first heard about it a whole week before it came out to theaters. Weird huh? And honestly, it seemed like a kick ass idea. I was also willing to ignore the fact that it was a Seth MacFarlane movie, creator of Family Guy and most of the Fox Cartoons, and that the bear sounded identically to Peter Griffin.

Take it you dirty dirty register.

Young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) had no friends as a kid growing up in Boston. But when he got a teddy bear, he was finally social. With a stuffed animal. But when he wished for him to be alive, his wish came true and he had a new BFF for ever and ever and ever. Ted (MacFarlane) got super famous initially, but then no one cared, and he was just a talking stuffed animal who grew up to be a nice slacker, like John, at 35 years old.

But hey, he has a girlfriend of four years, Lori (Mila Kunis), who really wants him to be something better than an Enterprise car worker. She kind of blames Ted for him still acting so childish, kind of wants him to move out. But if he does, can he actually grow up, or will he still just hang out with his buddy and get high all the time?

While their rocky relationship is going on, Lori also has to deal with her creepy boss (Joel McHale) who keeps hitting on her and Ted has to worry about a grown man (Giovanni Ribisi) who has been a fan of Ted for a long time and really wants to acquire him for his son, and his first long term white trash girlfriend Tammy-Lynn (Jessica Barth). John just has to deal with them.

Holy shit that plot is really simple. We also have Patrick Stewart as Narrator, and Norah Jones and Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon) as themselves.

HOLY FUCK STAY AWAY FROM MARKY MARKS NOSE, YOU MIGHT GET SUCKED IN AND NEVER RETURN.

So this movie did make me laugh a bunch. Sometimes. Occasionally. Mostly through crude and drunk jokes though. As someone who considers themself a pop culture junkie (not Taratino levels or anything), I found a lot of their pop culture jokes falling flat. I mean, most of the current ones don’t have staying power. In the first 5 minutes there was a Justin Bieber and some other people joke. It didn’t feel forced or anything, the joke just felt really lazy. A lot of them were on par with the “Still a better love story than Twilight” joke, which is not only over used, but never really funny. Just people hating to hate.

So that was my biggest problem with the comedy. Similarly there was maybe a bit too much drama, and a bit too much of Marky Mark being a complete dumb ass. I don’t know if I will care about movie at all in a year. I did love the concept, of a talking bear who grew up and became a dick, but just felt like the writers didn’t try enough after that initial concept. Oh well. Moving on.

I forgot Extract had so many people in it. Oh man.

I had never heard of this movie before randomly walking by it. But hey, a giant picture of Jason Bateman‘s head on the cover, you take notice.

But then you see that it is a movie by Mike Judge and you watch that shit as soon as you can.

Especially when you find out a major character has some crazy facial hair.

Jason Bateman plays the owner and and founder of a flavor extract company. Clearly the amount of jobs left to have for movies is running dry. Either way, he is kind of successful and living it up. But he isn’t having sex with his wife, Kristen Wiig anymore. Which overall sucks I guess.

But not as much as losing a testicle! Which happens to a worker Clifton Collins Jr., who always felt underappreciated, and well, lost a nut on the job. He doesn’t even want to sue because he likes the company too much. But. He. Lost. A. Nut. Enter Mila Kunis, a con-artist, who doesn’t mind using her body to get that monies (not like a prostitute, but kind of). She gets a job in the factory, steals some stuff, and convinces him to sue for damages using the ambulance chasing lawyer, Gene Simmons.

She also tries to get it on with Bateman, but he doesn’t want to cheat on his wife. His bartending friend, Ben Affleck, tries to convince him to hire a prostitute to seduce his wife, so if she cheats on him, he can cheat on her. He also gets a bit drugged, so agrees and they hire Dustin Milligan.

Pretty fucked up yeah. But Mila is a good con artist in this movie. Eventually everything is found out, and appropriate actions are taken. Just kidding. David Koechner is also in thi movie as a rather annoying and talkative neighbor.

And by the end, someone may die, like all good movies.

Affleck gets to play a hipster Jesus as well.

I think this movie is very polarizing. Either you love it or hate it. So of course I say fuck that, and give it a 2. But I totally get it.

I liked the originality of it. I liked some aspects.

But at the same time there was very disappointing parts. Seemed to be missing something that I am used to having from Mike Judge. And it is hard to put a finger on it.

Usually that would be a 1 rating, but I somehow also enjoyed the ending. But still. Not the quality I’d expect overall? Very weird feelings with this movie.

So give it a shot, or not. Whatever

Tina Fey has been in a surprisingly low number of shows/movies, based on how famous she is for her work and writing. Seriously, look at that imdb. Weird right?

I only mention that, because when I went to review Date Night, I noticed I hadn’t tagged her really in anything yet, and that is why. There really isn’t anything there! If I ever review Baby Mama, I’d be pretty much done.

Too bad I have loathed everything Amy Poehler has done, outside of Pars and Rec.

Fey and Steve Carell play a married couple with kids. They are super busy, but they still have time to force themselves to go out and eat, to have date nights! Or else their relationship will get stale. But out of fear, from another couple getting divorced, they decide to spice it up, go out to the city (NYC), wear nice clothes, and eat at Claw, a way fancy place. Without reservations. Dumb. But they are sneaky, they steal someone elses table who isn’t answering, and become the Tripplehorns!

I know right. Scum of the earth. Who the fuck takes someone else reservation?

But when two thugs (Jimmi Simpson and Common (I am mad that is his “name”)) come up to them, thinking they are the Tripplehorns, and demanding a flash drive, shit gets real. Then is a night of running from them, from the cops, and trying to figure out what is actually going on. With the the help of Mark Wahlberg as “private investigator sexy man”, and some help from James Franco and Mila Kunis (the real Tripplehorns), can they not die?

Also what the heck is going on here?

But was it good? This movie was about as slapstick as I would guess, but also more. Tina Fey and Steve did a good job together, very believable, and they both have made a career out of being awkward. This movie also features one of the best stunt driving/chase scenes I have probably ever seen in the last few years. Seriously. The car/taxi thing? Brilli-fuckin-ant. Also laughs were had, but it wasn’t enough to make me want to watch it again. Minus the car scene. Holy shit yeah. Ending wasn’t the best either.

The general rule of thumb is that movies based off of video games are bad. It is very hard to think of a good example. Technically Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children can count, but that isn’t live action. The only reason I like DOA: Dead or Alive is because its funny (to make fun of or watch with others).

So the stakes for Max Payne to be an awesome movie aren’t looking good, before even popping the DVD/Blu-Ray in.

Is he looking at the camera, not where he is shooting?

Max Payne stars Mark Wahlberg as the title character. Dude is a cop. His wife and child were killed. That pisses him off. Rightfully so. So he spends the next few years trying to find the killer. Once he does? He is going to give him maximum amounts of pain.

Also there is Mila Kunis as someone called Mona Sax. What a yucky name!

This movie is a disaster. Kind of CGI heavy, and I guess going for a noir-y feel. The plot is very hard to discern, actually. Was a very messy movie in that regards. Just know its a tale about vengeance, and you will get the overall message.

That guns are all you need to be successful!

Seriously though. I know it sounds like I made up my mind before watching, but this movie was dreadful. Acting was shit, plot was shit, action wasn’t interesting, bad special effects. I don’t know the plot of the Max Payne games, but if the plot is at all similar, I can understand how it would work as a game. Just not a movie. Please skip this trash.

I know what you, the readers, are thinking. Friends With Benefits? But we just had No Strings Attached? Why Hollywood, Why?

This was supposed to be clever, showing them inside the Hollywood “O”. But it is too zoomed it.
MY BAD GUYS.

This tells the tale of Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Despite normally against it, lets keep comparing it to NSA. Timberlake > Kutcher. Fact. Most people would say Portman > Kunis though, so I will go with that. Mila’s eyes scare me.

JT is a web designer and gets offered head art designer job at GQ Magazine in NYC (way different than LA!) by Kunis, who is a head hunter. They become great friends, which is great, because he doesn’t know anyone in NYC. They agree to be friends because he’d be lonely despite it. They both also have obvious relationship issues, stemming from their parents. But eventually, they say fuck it. Literally.

Just like Tennis, its just a physical thing, so they decide to have sex without baggage and emotions. Yay America!

The rest of this you can guess, eventually they do have feelings, but are afraid to admit them. We also get to explore both families, Mila’s promiscuous mom and JT’s divorced dad with Alzheimers. Also, flash mobs, cheesy movies, and Woody Harrelson as a fantastic gay man.

Twice they show clips from a fake “rom-com” movie, that stars Jason Segel and Rashida Jones, which is also pretty damn good.

A movie within a movie. You know that is serious business.

This movie was pretty damn funny though. Both did great in their roles, and now we know why Timberlake continues to be in movies. Because he is a decent actor. Damn weird phenomenon right there. You also get a nice rap. For those who watch Modern Family you will be able to see Luke in an important movie role for once.

In the final comparison of NSA and FWB, I think FWB is way funnier, and also more real. Just easier to create great/funny situations when it is friends having meaningless sex (FWB), versus non friends having meaningless sex (NSA).

Black Swan, Pretty Popular, not for me.

Okay I get it. Natalie Portman. She can be a great actress. In this movie she is supposed to play this very sheltered girl trying to get into her “Black Swan side” in order to get the big part of the ballet she has dreamed about forever. The director thinks she is too pure. She must prove him wrong! Also, she has mental problems that she never knew about. (Well, that she ignored).

That sucks. But I feel like if a person does a good portrayal of someone fucked up, then they get academy award talk and chatter. People will say I don’t get it, but there was much to get. Everything that happens in the film is easily explained, and the transformation at the end is just a metaphor. Hard work alone doesn’t deserve a great review. I need to be interested, and I failed to find this interesting.

Mila Kunis kind of bored me too. She is supposed to be the wild child in this movie. She is, definitely way more than Portman. But I just didn’t see her as a ballet dancer. Also the lesbian scene creeped me out too. I think I was supposed to be, but I am pretty sure the concept was a big reason why a lot of people went to see it.

“Oh! Sorry I came in without knocking. Yeah…I’ll leave…right now…yeah…leaving…okay…gone.”