Tag: Melora Hardin

Caged

The word Caged should bring up some very specific imagery, especially with recent events on the border these last couple of years. People in literal caged prisons, crammed together, families separated.

But really, what is the difference between those cages and the prison cages that hundreds of thousands of Americans are already inside of as well? I am not saying that we shouldn’t care about one because the other exists. No, we should care about both and be furious at both. Other countries have prisons wildly different than hours, that actually focus on rehabilitation versus punishment, and social programs to help communities to reduce crime.

But that isn’t relevant to this movie. Which is a horror movie about a guy in solitary confinement losing his touch on reality.

warden
You can tell this is the Warden by the facial hair and the flag. 
Dr. Harlow Reid (Edi Gathegi) is imprisoned for killing his wife (Angela Sarafyan). He claims he is innocent. The government doesn’t believe that to be so. And he lost he first case, landing him in the big house, so he is working on his appeal. There might be some evidence that the lawyers did not reveal that helps him out and he thinks he can fight it.

But the start of the film has the law firm representing him, a good friend of his, canceling the appeal because all of his assets were taken. He has to do it on his own, but he is educated, so he can handle it. However, the issue is for whatever reason he was deemed threatening and is put in solitary confinement.

Solitary confinement sucks. One of the guards (Melora Hardin) there seems get pleasure in ignoring him almost. In his misery. Despite listening to everything, it is almost as if he is being further tortured by this lady. Not with waterboarding, but emotional and psychological torture. And when the wall starts to talk to him, that is really when Reid feels it.

Also starring Tony Amendola, Robert R. Shafer, James Jagger, and Andy Mackenzie.

boat love
We will see their entire relationship played out on one scene on a boat. 
Oh check it out. This is my first 0 out of 4 of the year! Congratulations Caged!

Where to begin? Well, on a superficial level, the film clearly has a really low budget. The special effects, when they start inside the cell, are not great. The scenes are extremely limited.

For example, in the flashbacks with his wife? We don’t see any real part of the relationship. We see literally one scene with an awkward argument between the two, that is broken up into tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny components, and sprinkled throughout the film, to give a sense of mystery. But it is disjointed in a way to make it look like it should have bigger time gaps between cuts instead of a few seconds. It should have been one scene, for real, and flashbacks of them doing more to really build and see a reason for the relationship to exist. Or why the suspicions exist. They jump the connection and the flashbacks do nothing for the viewer.

The audio is absolutely one of the reasons I hate it. In order to make the film more jarring for the viewer, to get some of the main character’s angst, we get to hear terrible sounds and screeches too. And sure, I am annoyed now too. And I don’t like it. It isn’t done in a good way. It is done to be annoying and it works.

However, the plot is kind of really shit. I don’t care about the lead, it fails to produce empathy outside of the first scene. If you want to be scared, it also won’t produce any of those feels. Just an uncomfortable movie, that you wish to end to put yourself out of your own misery.

0 out of 4.

17 Again

17 Again is of course not an original plot. A lot of movies have an older person relive their youth, and find out they actually had it good. Sometimes, they get to become old instead. And also other times, they just switch bodies, such as 18 Again! the movie I first heard of when I read about this one.

I got to see 18 Again! when I was about ten, and probably only really remember any of the plot because hey, there were boobs in it (and it was PG?). Score!

Fight
Silly kids, you can’t score points in a cafeteria. You have to use a gym!

Back in the late 80s, Mike (Zac Efron) was a stud. Everyone loved him, nice guy, star of basketball team. But during the game when scouts were on hand to see him, it all went to hell. He found out his girlfriend was pregnant, and to comfort her, he left the game and proposed on the spot, pledging to be the best dad to the kid.

Like, 20 years later, and he has turned into Matthew Perry. He has worked for the same company for 16 years and nothing to show for it. He has two kids now, Alex (Sterling Knight), a shy teenage boy who doesn’t have many friends, and Maggie (Michelle Trachtenberg), a girl who might be dating a bully (Hunter Parrish). And well, his wife (Leslie Mann) now wants a divorce.

Turns out he blames her for the life he is in. If he didn’t go after he, he could have gone to college and been a star maybe. Way to take it out on your wife, jerk face. So he currently lives with his (now rich) best friend from high school (Thomas Lennon) and has a bad relationship with his family. But due to some random magic he finds himself as his 17 year old self again! After the awkward realization, he now sees it as a way to fix his life. Maybe actually stay as the young version and get a do over.

Or maybe, fix his real life. He is now going to school with his kids. Can he warn his daughter and student body about teenage pregnancy and its effects on life? Can he help his son finally fit in? Can he actually fix his marriage? Why is Jim Gaffigan playing a high school coach, when he is the type of guy who never would work out? Can he help his friend get with the school principal (Melora Hardin)? Okay, that probably isn’t a priority.

Dance
“Do you dance with all of your friend’s mothers?”

So what did he chose?! Of course he decided fuck all his responsibilities, time to go to college and get those chicks and money. Right? Who wouldn’t.

But that would be crazy. So instead we got an older guy, trying to not get his daughter attracted to him, and not fuck up his life completely. Overall it did have some interesting moments, but it was pretty easy to tell what was going to happen the whole time. Can’t say I saw any part of the friend/principal relationship coming though, that was weird.

The movie is a decent one, nice resolution, but overall doesn’t offer much new to the genre. So besides that, uhh, watch if you want I guess.

2 out of 4.