Tag: Max

Max 2: White House Hero

The movie Max had a sequel. Max was a middle of the year release a few years ago, a movie about a boy and a trained dog, and it sucked. They just messed it all up, and it was a stinker.

I am surprised I actually gave it a 1 star, to be honest. Thought I hated it more.

And with this review you are finding out that yes, that film somehow got a sequel. Max 2: White House Hero, because hey, movies at the White House are fun. This movie was released straight to DVD thought, with a new cast and a new story. Apparently the “Max” brand name was strong enough that it warranted using it for the sequel, and not just a stand alone story.

Also, I realize some of you may have forgotten that Max even existed, so I apologize for bringing it back up.

Presidential
Now that Trump is president, why not have Lochlyn Munro give it a shot?

TJ Bennett (Zane Austin) is the son of the president, and he hates it. He has a security detail at all times, the kids at his school hate him for it, and he is just lonely really. One of the only people who seems to get to know him is Chef Coop (Bradley Stryker), who makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich.

But his dad (Lochlyn Munro) and mom (Carrie Genzel) say he has to help entertain a new guest, the Russian President Bragov (Andrew Kavadas) and his child Alex. They are coming for an important visit for both countries. He reluctantly agrees of course, because he really has no choice. But wait, Alex is a girl (Francesca Capaldi)!

Well things are weird now, and when they get to Camp David, they will have to find ways to keep themselves busy, the stake of the world is on it!

Ohhhhhhhh. And yeah, Max, the same one from the first movie, is in this one. He is loan to the Secret Service to help with the mission, because their normal dog had puppies. And Max befriends TJ and listens to him, so TJ finally has a friend closer to his age.

Also starring Reese Alexander, Kathryn Kirkpatrick, and Bruce Blain.

WILL MAX SAVE THE DAY?

Spoilers
Oh, spoilers.

Max 2 features everything you’d want in a movie. Assuming that movie premiered for the first time on the Disney Channel, because that is how it feels. The only thing missing from my experience was 40 minutes of commercial breaks as well.

It wasn’t entirely shit, but I was indeed bored throughout it. It featured jokes and excitement that only a child could enjoy, unable to make it a family movie that everyone could want to see it. Strangely enough the only character who felt good in their roll was little Francesca Capaldi, playing a Russian president’s very young daughter. She got that accent down and gave that harsh level of authority we are now used to from Russia.

Dog stunts, kids running around, adults not listening to kids, just normal things in a film of this nature. It doesn’t offer really anything new or exciting, nor does it really have its moments. It is just a time filler.

1 out of 4.

Max

Max knows what it wants and it knows how it is going to get it. It wants that American Sniper money. That patriot surge to go to the theaters and see an war hero dog, while also bringing in the pet owner crowd.

A nice strategy of course. After all, a cute dog could totally replace Bradley Cooper in many movies, and no one would really complain.

Tanks
Especially one as patriotic and cute as this little guy.

Max is a dog, serving in Afghanistan. His job is to sniff our ammunition and bad people, so that the American good guys can go in, and safely get the stuff out of these villages, without harassment, interrogation, or accidental bullet spray. Max is very sad when his human, Kyle (Robbie Amell) dies in a fight that he totally tried to save him from. Now he is all crazy and barky and won’t take orders from anyone.

Luckily, Max gets to go to his funeral service, where he does sad dog things and meets the human’s family. The dad (Thomas Haden Church), the mom (Lauren Graham), and the younger brother Justin (Josh Wiggins). Max tolerates Justin, because he is a lot like his brother. Only in the DNA department. Kyle was brave and a soldier. Justin plays video games, rdes his bike, and doesn’t care. Yuck!

Max should try to help Justin, once the family helps Max out. After all, Max won’t take orders and will be put down unless they take him in. Given that Max is the last real memory of Kyle, of course they do, even though Justin is all meh!

Maybe Max will teach the family how to love again. Maybe Max will teach Justin how to talk to girls (Mia Xitlali). Maybe Max will help solve a ludicrous plot line about missing military equipment, the Mexican Cartel, and traitors. Hah. That’d be ridiculous and out of no where, no way that happens.

Also featuring Dejon LaQuake, Jay Hernandez, Joseph Julian Soria, Luke Kleintank, and Owen Harn.

America
Fuckin’ ‘Merica.

As you can all read sarcasm on the internet, by now you realize that yes, there is also a big plot about stolen military weapons and the Mexican Cartel. But also a story about a dog bringing a family together.

This took me completely out of the movie and I sat in the theater shaking my head in disbelief. It went from bad to worse but kept going and going. Every single aspect of that plot line is terrible. Literally no redeeming quality. I didn’t even get a nice cry at the end like I expected, watching a dog movie. No, my only cry came early on, with the dog sad that its human has died.

I can’t say a single actual human acted well in this movie. It was awkward seeing Graham be a Jesus Loving Texas woman, who didn’t have a great role in the film. I love some good facial hair, but Church was a walking stereotype mustache and it was entirely overdone. They made the kid a bad stereotype of a gamer too, and didn’t know what to do with his angsty teen self. It goes without saying that the best acting in the movie came from the dog.

I also need to reiterate again: the entire main plot line was terrible. Head. In. Palm. Max could have been a touching and amazing movie, but by forcing this terrible plot on the viewers, it turned it into a cringeworthy bad action movie, where all realism was thrown out of the window into a fire.

That’s right. Into a fire.

1 out of 4.

Buy It! – This movie is available now on {Blu-Ray} and {DVD}.