Tag: Kirby Bliss Blanton

The Green Inferno

I have not seen a lot of actual horror films made by Eli Roth. He is supposed to be a big name, but when I looked at his directed list I had seen…well, zero. I thought he had directed Aftershock, but I was wrong about that.

But I am sure I will watch Knock Knock at some point! That is some sort of Thriller and it is on VOD exactly when it was supposed to be. Apparently The Green Inferno was not as lucky. Made in 2013, it was supposed to come out in 2014, but shit hit the fan, and it got delayed over a year. Which is why Eli Roth even has two movies coming out only roughly a month apart.

Speaking of intro small talk, the film was clearly inspired by Cannibal Holocaust. That is a film from the 1980’s which introduced found footage before it was even a thing. It was very gruesome, realistic, and basically the same plot of some white people heading to the rain forest to get eaten. In fact, people insisted at the time that it must have been a snuff film! The title itself was the name of the movie that was being made in Cannibal Holocaust.

Hair Mmm
“Ooooh hair, my favorite.”

Being an activist in college is one of the easiest things to do with your free time. Once you walk through a quad or a pit or a hallway, you will find dozens of protests happening all around you. Every day. Guaranteed. All you have to do is stand around, do a chant, and maybe (maybe!) hold a sign.

Justine (Lorenza Izzo) is just a bright eyed and bushy tailed freshmen in NYC. She gets interested in the activism, but her roommate (Sky Ferreira) thinks the local group on campus is too crazy. They plan to go to Peru! There is a logging company who is illegally taking out trees and threatening to remove local tribes from their homes! They will dress up like loggers, tie themselves to trees and record their actions straight onto the internet. That should stop them from hurting them and get people to care about their group and hate on the one company. Sweet. That goes fine enough. Outside of spoiler stuff.

The real issue occurs when they drive to leave the jungle. Something goes wrong with their plane, killing half of the crew as it crash lands back into the jungle. This is where they are quickly found by the local friendly natives. Just kidding, they are all painted red and totally scary. They tranq those college students and capture them to bring them back to their village.

And guess what? You already know what. They eat people! Yay!

Now they have to figure out how to survive the tribe, run away, survive in the jungle, and get back to America as soon as they can. And guess what, again! They ruined their best chance of escape by making the logging company stop their illegal actions. Life is a bitch some times.

Starring Ramon Llao and Antonieta Pari as the main two village people. As for our other activists, we have Aaron Burns, Nicolas Martinez, Magda Apanowicz, Daryl Sabara, Kirby Bliss Blanton, and Ariel Levy as our leader.

Mmmm human
“What? Tribal mom got your tongue?”

I have heard some of Roth’s movies have been very graphic and hard to watch. Why the fuck would I ever want to go back and watch Hostel if that is true? The first major torture porn right, outside of some Saw movies? Well, The Green Inferno, if you didn’t already guess it, was very graphic and hard to watch.

I had to look away numerous times throughout the movie, my stomach unwilling to negotiate with the eye terrorists on the screen. Eating people it turns out can be pretty gross. Unfortunate, if everyone was simply just eaten, that’d be a boring and just gross film. They do a good job of keeping more of the deaths diverse so that it doesn’t get stagnant. Although watching that boy from the Spy Kid movies felt very weird for me.

As a horror film, it did its job in terms of grossing/creeping out the viewer. It definitely isn’t boring, outside of some of the earlier moments before they make it to the other country. It is super violent and should make you uncomfortable.

But it feels all very cheap at the same time. Overall the film lacks a lot of substance. It is trying to make a statement about social justice types, or America butting into things, or…something else. It just does it in a terrible way. “Don’t do this, or you will get eaten by the natives.” Cultural exploitation aside (which I do not care about), it isn’t a strong link and ruins any message it was trying to make.

For those who like gross stuff, this is your movie. If you want anything besides that, well…uh, not this movie then.

2 out of 4.

Buy It! – This movie is available now on {Blu-Ray} and {DVD}.

Project X

Project X, oh no, another hand held camera movie.

Oh noooooooooooooo.

Just kidding, I don’t care. It is not a “found footage” of the events after the fact. It is just a style to make it seem more realistic. They also used some camera footage from other party goers, and the news report, sure, but outside of that? Mostly just the one camera man.

Heroes
The heroes of our story. Everyone loves them!

All of these characters have the same first name as their real name, so why not assume they share last names too? Thomas Mann is about to be a real man, by US standards, not Jewish ones. He is turning 18 AND his parents are leaving him for the weekend. What?! He is a good kid. They trust him. No way he ruins the trust. Just a few friends can come over, he can borrow the van, but not the good car, simple enough.

His friends are dedicated to making it special, especially Oliver Cooper, his friend with “connections”. He knows where to get drugs, how to spread the word and get hotties to come. Allegedly. Him and Jonathan Daniel Brown are doing it mainly to get laid, of course, and get their friend laid. Pretty much the reason why teens do anything.

But who is behind the camera? Some AV club emo dude, Dax Flame. Don’t worry about him. Also there is another member of their gang, Kirby Bliss Blanton, but she is a girl, and therefore isn’t as important. Minus the fact that she might like Thomas.

But they got this thing ready. Drugs, alcohol, DJs, signage, and security, by two younger guys Brady Hender and Nick Nervies. Heck, they even think Miles Teller is going to be there, a local college superstar, and that means the possibility of college chicks.

Needless to say, the party grows to unexpected proportions. The party goes inside, extra drugs are found, older people show up, police can’t do shit, neighbors are mad, midgets in the oven, naked legal chicks, pool party, and a day that they will remember forever. For all the wrong reasons.

Flame on
Just a little bit out of hand.

So against all expectations, this movie kept me entertained basically the whole time I was watching it. Which was a problem because I was trying to pack up some things at the same time. Very little packing got done.

It is hard to explain the appeal of this movie to me. The plot is just about a party that gets really fucking crazy. And I was almost scared at what would happen. Everything kept getting worse and worse, and it was clear there was no turning back or saving these people from the ramifications. And it was intense.

It is pretty obvious what this movie is about, and expectations should match that for an appropriate experience.

3 out of 4.