Tag: Jacob Latimore

Have you seen the trailer to Collateral Beauty? Well, please do so. Here is one and here is another. They are both great. I saw it first a few months ago and knew I had to see that movie, right away preferably.

It has actors I like in it, the story looks neat, and looks like a perfect holiday film, without being cheesy Christmas. And it looks like it would make me cry.

But man, it turns out this movie is incredibly fucked up and inappropriate.

Ah love, Knightley knows all about that one.

Like I said, please watch the trailer. Now here is the real plot.

Yes, Howard (Will Smith) used to be good at his job. He ran an advertising firm, preached that every ad should speak to three absolutes: Love, Time or Death, and people loved him. And then, he had his daughter die. Now, the majority of the film takes place TWO YEARS LATER. And now, he is still dealing with his grief. He is barely audible, he spends most of the time just making dominoes just to knock them down, not even looking at them as they fall.

And this leaves most of the company to his three main friends/colleagues. Whit (Edward Norton), Claire (Kate Winslet), and Simon (Michael Peña). Whit is recently divorced and his pre-teen daughter hates him. Claire wants to maybe get a surrogate baby. And Simon, well, Simon might be dying.

All of them have their own issues, but they are still doing their jobs, and right now their company is failing. They have an offer to sell their company though, for $17 a share, which is more than what they really are worth! They just need Howard’s approval, but he refuses to do anything. So they think, sure, maybe they can just show he isn’t right in the head to make decisions without him.

So they develop a scheme, hire a P.I. (Ann Dowd), and she finds out that he has sent letters to Love, Death, and Time. Whit decides that the best option now is to hire actors to be these three entities, make him look crazy in public, record the display, digitally remove the actors, and bam, they can sell the company and do good things.

Yay morals. Featuring Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley, and Jacob Latimore as the actors, and Naomie Harris as a grief counselor.

Two of these characters are considered more of a main character than Will Smith.

My eyes could not believe what I was seeing. I had to both shake my head and put it in my palms at various points in the film. What trailer did I see and why did it lie so hardcore to get viewers?

Oh yeah. Money.

I haven’t seen a trailer so deceptive of a movie since Hercules, but in that case it was a nice surprise. It didn’t change the plot of the film. In this case, people go in expecting a heart warming tale and get a story about very dickish people and they don’t get punishment. Seriously. There may still be heart warming elements, but they come to people who are not worthy of our sympathy.

Here is a fact. Yes. I teared up a bit in the film. But making me cry does not a good movie make. It is frankly really easy to do nowadays, especially if part of the plot involves a dead daughter. But I cried during Jem and the Holograms and could still see its shitty elements.

Look, trailer lies aside, the main ending after all of it is pretty easy to figure out. Except for one element and that is because it doesn’t make any sense. It could have maybe been considered an okay film, but I have to shake my head about the last final reveal. It seems tacked on and never explained, and makes me question how it even got to that point. Almost as bad as the reveal at the end of Now You See Me.

There are a lot of big names in this film and I was really excited to see it after I saw the trailer. But it is easy work for basically everyone involved. Smith feels like a supporting character until the end of the movie. No one is giving I their all and everyone seems to be collecting an quick paycheck.

Collateral Beauty is emotionally manipulative while being morally terrible. That is not a good combination anywhere. And especially not around the holidays.

Man, movies that didn’t come out last Fall/Winter are finally hitting the DVD Shelves. Last week was Justin Bieber’s Believe, which came to theaters on Christmas. This week, it is Black Nativity, which came to theaters for Thanksgiving! An even longer wait, those assholes. And for what? Nothing.

Bah humbug. Just give me my Christmas themed movie in April, thanks.

Christmas movie…with singing! Yay, sounds like a lot of joy.

This movie is based on a Langston Hughes play of the same name (but also, nothing like it?). You see, this isn’t just a retelling of the nativity but with an all black cast. The latter part is true, but the former is not. This is a modern setting, New York City.

In fact, our main character is named Langston (Jacob Latimore), after the poet. His mom (Jennifer Hudson) really likes him. Well, they are poor, behind on bills, he doesn’t know his daddy and they are about to be evicted. So she sends him to live with her parents in NYC, whom he hasn’t ever really met.

In NYC, after getting into trouble, he finally meets them. Reverend Cornell Cobbs (Forest Whitaker) and his wife Aretha (Angela Bassett). Yep, religious people. Around Christmas, no doubt. Langston doesn’t care about any of this, he just wants to help his mother anyway possible. If he has to steal to make money, so be it.

But maybe, just maybe, Christmas will and this new family he never really knew will be able to change him. Also starring Tyrese Gibson, Mary J. Blige, and Nas.

I swear, just one role of his should acknowledge his eye. Just. One.

As expected, there ended up being a lot of drama in this movie. Over status in life, over who was the father, over why the daughter left her home in the first place to struggle for fifteen years, and over God.

I was ready and willing for all of that. But then the songs came and it was incredibly disappointing.

Fist off, the music felt faker than most musicals. They didn’t even make them feel real for a musical. I am ready to expect someone to just belt out and start going, but then they keep singing the song while doing other songs. I mean, I know Jennifer Hudson is singing. She started the song, voice didn’t change. But they continue the same scene with her singing, but character literally not singing as other stuff goes on. That happened multiple times.

A lot of the music also just became background noise. Musicals need to make their music front stage. When it gets turned into a montage without any of the characters actively singing, and literally just being a song like in a normal movie, it is hard to really give it any attention.

The music was a lot of Gospel, and I like Gospel, but the music was just so disappointing as a whole, that this in no way felt too much like a musical. None of the emotions they wanted to convey were able to hit me and that is down right disappointing.

This is why I chose to use all of my analysis space on just the music a lone. After all, if the music is bad in your musical, then your musical is indeed bad.

This is a movie I have walked by about a jillion times, with no intention of rushing to watch it. Vanishing on 7th Street just sounds like a dumb title. I also couldn’t tell if it was a horror or a mystery (its the former).

But I did the craziest thing, and read some of the back. It takes place in Detroit, yess! WATCHING THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY.

No horror can terrorize Detroit. They’d either take a punch to the face, or leave because its already terrorized.

Movie begins at the movies. Thats awesome, because this is a movie. John Leguizamo is some sort of maintenance guy, flirting with the ladies. But while he is in the back, (where it is already dark, so he is using his nice head flashlight thing), it gets darker and he hears a lot of screaming. What what?!

When he gets to where there is people, well, there isn’t people. There is a bunch of clothes on the ground, but no bodies. Some more screaming, but that is it. Turns out that whatever is happening takes the bodies when they are without a light source, in the darkness. Main power generators were all taken out, but anyone who had a lighter or flashlight or something at the time wasn’t taken.

Until their light goes out. Thankfully day still happens, but it is getting shorter and shorter. What ends up happening is his character, Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, and Jacob Latimore all end up meeting at a bar that has a generator and is making it a safe haven.

The rest of the movie is them trying to figure out how to escape the city, not sure if there is others out there, or if it is just affecting Detroit area. Mostly thing this because of the Lost Colony on Roanoke, and also claiming that the phrase “CROATAN” is mysterious, and not a very well known Indian tribe also in the area of Roanoke colony.

Oh noes! Look out for the darkness, John!

But the movie also feels like a huge let down. I feel like it didn’t tell a complete story. No you will not find out about the darkness. No, you won’t get any closer to what the hell is happening there. And you also really won’t get any [real] hope for the survivors. They tried to give hope, but that hope seems like bullshit.

And really, the comparison to that situation and the Lost Colony was stupid as shit. Colonists were told to leave where they were going carved in wood, and they did, “CROATAN” a neighboring island tribe. They may have been killed there or whatever. But for the character to say no one knows why they did that, or what it means it just dumb. And a horrible “possible movie plot point” to make.

I thought the movie was horribly slow, for no real payoff.