Tag: Horror

Warm Bodies, Warm Bodies.

Unfortunately, due to hearing that title said twice in a row, I really can’t stop doing it. It adds effect. It makes it creepy. I like creepy.

I kind of hate zombie based fan ficiton. More specifically, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a terrible book, seriously read it. It is P&P with another guy throwing in some zombie fight scenes and changing some words. But his writing style is so different than Jane Austin’s style that it is painfully obvious. But that was Zombies and Romance. How about Zombies WITH Romance?

You see the whole thing is a metaphor. A metaphor, for uhh, to be emo is to be dead.

R (Nicholas Hoult) is a zombie. Not much to talk else to mention about his life, he is a damn zombie. He doesn’t remember his old life, or his old name or anything. He has a “Friend” in M (Rob Corddry), but that means they sometimes go out on hunts together for food and grunt some.

On one of those faithful hunting missions, they run into a group of survivors looking for meds. That is where he meets Julie (Teresa Palmer). But something is different, something has changed. He doesn’t want to eat her body. Well, not in the traditional sense.

Could this be love? Necrophiliac love? Analeigh Tipton plays her best friend, Dave Franco her boyfriend, and John Malkovich her dad.

This is also a metaphor. A metaphor, for uhh, war. War is bad.

From what I can tell, the movie has differences from the book, but the author of the book is fine with it. He saw the movie and likes it, so I definitely won’t judge the two apart (not that I ever do that anyways). But I can say that after watching the movie, I want to read the book. Already ordered it online, can’t wait. The only other movie that I did that with was The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Which, I might add, I liked the book as well and there were differences.

I thought the intro the movie was pretty dang hilarious. It begins with a nice monologue from R, as he shuffles about his normal zombie life, and we learn the ins and outs of his mind and actions. It just felt brilliant.

Rob Corddry stole the show with his zombie, but he was given the funnier lines, because he wasn’t currently in love with a living woman.

The movie has obvious references to a famous love story, which I figured out halfway through. I am glad they kept it somewhat subtle, I was afraid they would smash it over your head at the end, but thankfully they didn’t.

Shit, the only thing I really disliked would be that the change happening the zombies could have been more gradual and obvious. For R, it was slow and the signs of him getting better were clear, but for the rest of the zombies it felt rushed.

Fuck it. I loved this movie. Here is a high ass rating.

Let me tell you a little story. Redbox free rental codes mean one thing normally. It means I can get some fucked up random movie and see how it is without feeling bad. The last time was Zombies Vs. Strippers. But this time I wanted a real movie! But the red box I looked up and planned for was closed, had to go to a close one nearby, none of the ones I wanted were there.

So I got 1313: Cougar Cult instead. Clearly that name alone, it must be some sex based horror movie with middle aged women.

But I was wrong. I was oh so very wrong.

THIS IS WHERE I START TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

ALRIGHT, SO THESE THREE WOMEN ARE ALL LOUNGING IN THEIR GIANT MANSION (Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Brinke Stevens).

AND THERE IS A POOL CLEANER. BUT BEFORE HE LEAVES HE NEEDS TO SHOWER, FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND.

HIS SHOWER LASTS A LONG TIME. I MEAN, MOST SHOWERS DO, BUT IN MOVIES THEY NORMALLY DON’T SHOW SO MUCH SHOWERING. I THINK IT WAS OVER 4 MINUTES OF SHOWERING SPLICED WITH THE WOMEN WALKING AROUND WITH COUGAR NOISES THROWN IN.

THEN HE GETS CHASED BY COUGAR SOUNDS. THE GIRLS EAT HIM. PRESUMABLY OFF CAMERA, AND SOMEHOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THEM YOUNGER, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK.

SO THEY HIRE THREE NEW COLLEGE GUYS FOR THE SUMMER TO COOK, MASSAGE, AND CLEAN THEIR POOL. THEIR SEDUCTIONS COMES AT NIGHT, OR WHENEVER THESE GUYS SLEEP. THESE GUYS SLEEPING OF COURSE IN BOXER BRIEFS OR WHITEY TIGHTS ABOVE THE BLANKET. THESE SEDUCTION DREAMS MAKE THE GUYS FEEL ALL SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE, AND JUST LAY IN BED, GROANING, AND ROLLING AROUND. THIS ALSO LASTS FOR A LONG TIME.

OVER AND OVER. OH HEY ANOTHER SHOWER SCENE. OH HEY, SLEEP TIME SEDUCTION AGAIN. OH HEY, PLOT? WHAT PLOT?

EVENTUALLY THERE IS A REAL RITUAL, BUT THE “NERD” GUY STOPS THEM. HE PUTS THEIR LOCKET ON A FOREHEAD, AND THEY ALL DIE IN SMOKE OR SOMETHING. ALSO THEY CAN TURN IN TO COUGARS KIND OF.

THIS IS AN ACTUAL SCENE FROM THE MOVIE. THIS IS THE FULL EXTENT OF TURNING INTO A COUGAR.

Okay, I am done yelling.

Yes, it looks like I have been tricked into buying some sort of gay soft core porn. Soft core porn is of course the act of sex, but nothing shown below the belt. This has no sex in it, and nothing shown. Just a lot of guys showering, and having nightmares in their sleep. Then eventually running around in said underpants.

What!

I know what you are thinking. Is this movie so bad it is good? No it goes beyond that into the dark realms of badness. I think this was filmed in a day. The night scenes where they sleep are bright as shit from the sun.

But also roughly nothing happened in the 75 minutes. They filmed the women walking around, posing, with cougar noises, and maybe doing a small ritual. But that filmed scene was used four other times in the movie, identically, in the same order, spliced with guys showering or laying in bed. The women even changed clothes eventually, but they used the same scene, with strange music and cougar noises.

Fuck! These women are supposedly famous for being scream queens in the 70s/80s or something like that, but they do about nothing in the movie. They turn into cougars twice, it is unsure as to why they have these powers. It is vague how their immortality thing works.

I also learned after the fact that the 1313 part of the name comes from a series of films from the same director. All featuring men in underpants for long periods of time. Yet each one of them probably also has a suggestive title making you think it is not at all what the viewer would expect.

It was so bad, I won’t even recommend that you see it for yourself. Just take my word on it. Avoid the film! Avoid it!

Good news everyone! I am now officially willing to watch horror movies. Do I still cringe like a little girl when I see them? Yes. But I can usually control my outer composer enough to make it through without tears.

With that said, most horrors I will probably find scary, so it might not be too strong of a statement when I say that Mama was the scariest movie I have seen this year. Especially since in these few weeks I have only seen one horror movie.

Right off the bat, this movie is a world of NOPE.

Mama begins during the financial crisis of a few years ago. It really put the hurt on certain families, driving their bread winners to suicidal behavior. In this case, the father has just killed his wife and kidnapped his two daughters, speeding away on icy roads. Well, he crashes, because that is what icy roads do. Luckily, they all survive and they are able to find an abandoned cabin in the woods. The oldest daughter Victoria (Megan Charpentier) can talk, but has broken her glasses, and the youngest daughter, Lilly (Isabelle Nelisse) is still a toddler.

But a mysterious super natural force decides that the father is a deadbeat, kills him, and looks after the kids. Five years later, their uncle Lucas (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) finally finds them and they are all sorts of messed up. After some time with a therapist (Daniel Kash), they are released into his care with his girlfriend, Annabel (Jessica Chastain), in a sweet new house so they can study their behavior.

Surely the evil spirit will be happy to see the kids in loving real hands, right?

Bonus points to this movie for not parading Jessica in only revealing clothing.

As expected, yes, I found this movie scary. Guillermo del Toro was the executive producer, and you can really see his influence on the movie. For the most part, the camera work was top notch for setting up the scenes and making the whole movie seem eerily beautiful.

I loved the “cold open” of the movie, jumping straight into the action, but also letting full opening credits come in a bit later.

Most horrors have a problem where they lose a bit of the fear when they actually show a clear view of the monster, and unfortunately for Mama this is still true. In fact, if I wasn’t so afraid, I would probably find her a bit comical in nature.

It is also interesting to see Jessica Chastain in a movie like this, where she plays a dark haired slacker who doesn’t know how to raise kids, when her normal roles involve over achievers and perfectionists.

Finally, I loved the ending of the movie. The final scenes were set up so nicely and it had me guessing until the end. The plot didn’t entirely make sense to me, but I don’t think they cared at that point of the movie. I also doubt there will be any sequels to this franchise, which is a bonus is my mind.

Texas Chainsaw 3D? Fuck it, lets go.

Okay, so far not disappointed.

Like most of the movies after the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this one takes place after the first one and ignores the rest. Like, directly after the first. Didn’t see it? Well don’t worry, in the intro credits, you will see flashes of the first, a lot of the kill scenes, and the main heroine escaping covered in blood in a pick up truck.

Well she called the cops, and one Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry) is the first on the scene. He convinces the family, who are fully stocked with ammo, to send out Leatherface (Dan Yeager) and he will get a fair trial. But then the townsfolk show up, lead by Burt Hartman (Paul Rae). They don’t give a fuck about the law right now, that family is fucked up and evil. So they torch the place and shoot it down. Everyone is dead, they are heroes!

Except one yokel finds a woman and his baby escaped to the barn. The baby is fine, but the woman is close to death. So he finishes her off and takes the baby as his own!

Twenty or so years later, Heather (Alexandra Daddario) is finding out she has a dead grandmother, even though she thought she was out of them already. AND THERE IS A WILL? IN TEXAS? WHAT?? She is adopted, whoa whoa whoa.

Good thing her friends were already going to New Orleans for a trip, so they are willing to stop by that small Texas town to sign the will papers and move on. This includes her boyfriend (Trey Songz), her slutty friend (Tania Raymonde from Lost), and her new boyfriend/friend of other guy (Keram Malicki-Sanchez). Heck, they even pick up a friendly hitch hiker Darryl (Shaun Sipos) who pays for gas and food and everything! What can go wrong!

Oh shit, free house? Hells yeah. It is a mansion. But is she really the last of her original family alive still? Will she find the truth about the incident all those years ago? Will bitches be killed by chainsaws? How about that cute new cop Carl (Scott Eastwood)? What is his deal? MORE QUESTIONS?

If the movie can exploit T&A then so can Gorgon Reviews.

I feel like going the PRO/CON list.
PROS:
The movie ties itself into the original movie, and ignores the previous fails, nice.
Alex Daddario and Tania Raymonde are hot.
I really would not have expected the ending or the second half plot of the movie. Trailer did a nice job of leaving a lot of surprise.
It is a bit humorous at parts, the death scenes never feel scary. Hard to really make a straight scary one of these movies now a days.

CONS:
Gratuitous teasing. No nakedness in this film, just a lot of closeness. Come on people, an R rated slasher flick, someone needs to get naked. It’s a rule.
3D was bad, very bad. Had no real purpose, was pretty shitty. Not Silent Hill: Revelation shitty, but close.
Bad acting throughout.
Questionable main character motives. At the end of the movie, the main characters decision doesn’t make a lot of sense. Her friends are dead and killed! Why would she do /that/? Come on now.

Despite that, I still think the movie was average and not just a shit storm. Definitely had some entertaining moments, and it really doesn’t take that long to get into the killing.

Oh goodness, I am so close to being done with horror movies this season. I am pretty sure this is the last one, not counting random B movie slasher flicks that no one cares or knows about. Sure, The Collection just came out in theaters, but it isn’t showing anywhere near me, so it will be awhile.

But The Apparition? It didn’t come to theaters either. I only saw one preview for it, and it looked kind of cool, kind of supernatural. It intrigued me. Little did I know that there is a reason I only saw the preview once.

Why? Because hipsters. That is why.

Back in the 1970s, there was something called The Charles Experiment. They tried to summon the spirit of a Charles and I guess it worked. Many years later, a group of college students are attempting to do it again. But with MOAR technology and MOAR cameras. They are amping up their spiritual side a lot and hope to make the summon work! Well it works, and uhh, one of the people get sucked into the wall and presumably dies.

Some more years later, Ben (Sebastian Stan) is now living with his girlfriend Kelly (Ashley Greene) in a neighborhood with only like, one family neighbor. Rest are empty being built. Woo, being first.

Either way. Weird shit starts to happen. Ben finds out from his nerdy friend Patrick (Tom Felton, yes, Draco as a nerd) that they are all fucked. THey did the experiment again, because a dead friend ain’t nothing. This time, 4000 times as powerful instead of 400. Oh jeez.

Sometimes the movie cover is the ending of the film. I am looking at you, Quarantine.

Man, fuck this movie.

That is all I can really say without ranting.

There is about four or so characters in it, only two main ones, yet still there is no redeeming qualities about any of them. The trailer even sets up the movie to make it seem like something it is not. I don’t remember the One You Believe, You Die being a major part of the movie. Maybe because it was so bad. But also because the thing was fucking with shit long before they would believe in it, and trying to kill them.

Like the end of the trailer? Clearly it’s not working. All the lies man.

Remember when she yells “Get Out of My House?” Well, she doesn’t even yell that at the ghost, but her boyfriend. Because hey, he did supernatural shit, so why not make him leave the house, even though the ghost thing is in said house?

It is incredible how bad this whole movie is. So bad, that I am even a bit disappointed that I wasted my free rental on it. Mehhh. Meh.

My 666th review is Devil. Need I say more?
God, I’m so fucking clever.

Hey look, some people in an elevator.

The movie begins with a person jumping off of a skyscraper and landing in a car, pretty far away. Okay. Like, super far. But Detective Bowden (Chris Messina) is on the case! After investigating, he sees that a skyscraper has a broken window, so we are good to go.

But uh oh, the elevator has stopped! That sucks. Must be out of repair. There are five people on it too, a security guard (Bokeem Woodbine), a salesman (Geoffrey Arend), a mechanic (Logan Marshall-Green), an old woman (Jenny O’Hara) and a young woman (Bojana Novakovic).

And uhh, the Devil might actually be one of them in disguise? Hell, they might all be bad people too, and needing to repent for their sins. That is what one of the security guards thinks (Jacob Vargas), and an older non religious guard (Matt Craven). Watching it all go down, except for when the power goes out randomly.

Hey look, an action scene.

Although not the director, it shouldn’t surprise anyone to find out that M. Night Shyamalan is involved with this picture. There might be a twist by the end, but I felt like I had the whole thing figured out as soon as I saw the cast. Might have had some twists and turns, but really, it is all pretty obvious. Don’t worry, someone is the Devil. They don’t pull a The Village.

But the acting is bad, Chris Messina, what the hell are you doing? Your character barely changed tone the whole movie. Not even during your sob story. Logan Marshall-Green I would say is the best character, while the rest of of the cast just didn’t give a single fuck.

Jesus Christ, the Devil is bad.

Not flipping over the table bad. But just bad enough for me to not even write 400 words about it. How could I? The plot is the devil on an elevator!

House At The End Of The Street has had a little bit of an interesting history. It was actually filmed before Jennifer Lawrence went on to do The Hunger Games. But hey, releasing it before hand is bad for business. Why not ride the hot young actress coattails, and put it off, like, a year.

Heck, I am even fine with their marketing campaign. Shortening the title to HATES is a lot more convenient. Just annoying that it ignores the “of The” part of the title. Can’t even argue that it is unimportant articles and shit, since the “At the” is prominently features in the acronym. Oh well, making movie titles into acronyms (or vice versa!) is a lot of work.

Warning: This movie might feature a lot of miss Lawrence rolling about and running in this outfit.

Elissa (Lawrence) and her divorced mother, Sarah (Elisabeth Shue) have just moved into the house of their dreams. It is actually affordable. Why? Because the house “next door” has a secret. And by secret, I mean well known fact that a double murder occurred there. A girl, Carrie-Ann, killed both of her parents one night, and escaped off into the woods. They think she drowned, but never found her body.

She did leave her brother alive though, how nice! Ryan (Max Thieriot) mostly keeps to himself after the incident. After all, a fucking double murder happened, and he is still in the house. The town wants to buy his house and demolish it, but it is all he has left, so he refuses to sell, not caring about everyone else’s poor property values. The only person who doesn’t give him crap is a local cop (Gil Bellows).

Unfortunately for Elissa, Ryan is the only guy who actually seems decent. Tyler (Nolan Gerard Funk) is just as mean and pompous as the rest of the town, and just wants some sex. Can’t have any of that. So she tries to fix Ryan instead. Hopefully it is not weird either that it looks like his sister is still alive and living in a closet in his house. Whoops!

“Why is there a girl up in your trunk? In your trunk? In your trunk?”

On second thought, the title doesn’t really make that much sense. There is no real street here, just seems like random houses in the woods, despite it being a mostly rich like area. Even though their house is “right next” to Ryan’s, it is also as if there is still a big forest in between them. Can’t even tell how much of his house is on the same street. Plus, it seems like no one else lives close by. How could it ruin their property values?

Semantics. I was kind of bored by the movie to start. It had “Jennifer Lawrence” singing original songs at the start. Or at least that was the plan. Apparently someone else sang over her to make it sound a bit more better. That is silly.

But by the end, as it is with most horror movies, some twists began to happen and I actually liked them. It actually added some backstory and reason to the actions of the main characters, pretty surprising for a horror movie. Not enough to make it exceptional, but enough to make it kind of cool. For one viewing. Definitely wasn’t really scary either, felt a lot more like a thriller. But don’t worry, you will get to see at least two deaths.

When you get a free movie rental, normally you use it for something you like. I prefer to use it on things I would normally never get otherwise. And that is why we now get to talk about the potentially frightening, laughifying, and hardening movie Zombies vs. Strippers. I have to throw some curve balls every once in awhile, keep you all on your toes.

Or maybe I am doing this just to increase traffic to my website. Who’s to say?

The Tough Titty is a strip club, but with a pretty dumb name. Who would want to go there? The answer is actually no one. They have basically no customers, and the owner Spider (Circus-Szalewski) is going to close up shop. Tonight shall be their last night, so why not officially lock the doors and party! Just the normal crew, and the four strippers on duty.

Sugar Hills (Eve Mauro), the no nonsense “lead” stripper, who is pissed at the news. Vanilla (Brittany Gael Vaughn), a sassy black stripper, because stereotypes are real. Jasmine (Adriana Sephora), a dumb big breasted blond stripper, because stereotypes are super real, and Bambi (Victoria Levine), a younger newer stripper, needing money for some sort of schooling, because the stereotype quota is actually based on hard hitting statistics.

Despite the talk of closing, they manage to get guests in that night, talking about the craziness of the city outside. Sure, some of those guests might be zombies confused at their location, but they are probably harmless. Instead we get low life rock star who wants to party Spike (Adam Brooks), a rich guy who has tons of money to waste (Patrick Lazzara), and a mini bike gang lead by sturn philosopher Red Wings (Brad Potts).

Fuck the characters. You want strippers fighting zombies. Well, eventually, a long time into the movie, that happens. But until then, some bad acting and boobs. Basically the American dream.

Will The Tough Titty be the last bastion of safety for the Human Race during the zombie apocalypse?

“WE ARE NOT ENTERTAINED BY YOUR GLITTER PAINT!”

Zombies vs. Strippers reminds us that when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, not everyone will be in a grocery store or at home. There are many types of jobs out there, and those bills have got to be paid. So of course there would be a strip club, oblivious to the going-ons outside the city. Especially if it was a shitty strip club.

Yet somehow, despite this clearly being a “boobs and laughs” picture, it still seems to be strangled by normal horror movie tropes. Dumb things like, the main actress won’t get naked, even if she is a stripper like the rest. Sorry to break it to you blokes. Also, I am British now.

There was a pretty extreme lack of zombies and strippers battling it out as well. Really didn’t happen until the end, and felt a bit underwhelming. You will probably be surprised at who survives until the end, and might even wonder what happens next. I have been told that Zombie Strippers, which came out four years prior is a much better film. Not sure if that is just because of the lead actress or not though.

But the mere existence of that film makes this one a cheesy “skinemax” parody of the other, unfortunately. It is important to note that this film delivered a bit of what it promised, but probably could have used more jokes, more boobs, and more zombies.

No, the horror movies from October are not yet done. They are slowly falling through the cracks. I know at least one more I get to see next week, with another I know I never got to see. But that is future talk. Now talk should be reserved for The Possession, in all of its super shitty glory.

“Hey everything about you has changed little girl. Clothes, attitude, are you feeling sad? I am gonna assume nothing is wrong.”

Like every modern movie, the main parents in this one are divorced. Clyde (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is a made up college basketball coach. You wouldn’t know it was a college coach unless you paid attention to the details, because it looked like he was just in a high school gym the whole time. His wife (Kyra Sedgwick) left him because he spent too much time working, and got to keep the house that he paid for by working, and main custody of the kids.

His children! Hannah (Madison Davenport) the older girl, who talks openly of their separation, and Em (Natasha Calis), a now vegetarian activist, who loves the world. Until they go to a garage sale to get plates for the dad’s new apartment! In the middle of no where! There Em buys a wooden box, because why not. Too bad Jewish Demons live in the box and want to kill everyone.

What? Yeah. Em begins talking to the box after she figures out how to open it. And it talks back. Despite the weird things happening, like changing her wardrobe, only being by the box, attacking kids, being slathered in insects, yelling, and what have you, people really can’t seem to put two and two together. Even creeping around in the kitchen eating raw meat and attacking her mom with glass isn’t really enough to drive the point home. They are like, oh okay, vacation time. Because the new boyfriend, a dentist (Grant Show) is such a great guy.

But eventually the dad gets it. He finds out it is a Jewish curse. So he finds some Jewish curse experts to help catch the demon. TOo bad the only one willing is a young gun, Tzadok (Matisyahu), and hopefully they can snatch the demon out of the girls body and trap her back. Or you know, have her spirit roam everywhere, from body to body. Either or.

Matis. Fucking. Yahu.

Alright, there were a lot of problems with the movie. Yes terrible acting, and unbelievable actions from everyone, but that is a given in the genre. Unfortunately most other things were bad too. Like the transition between scenes. After something bad happened, it tended to switch to the next day or a few hours later. But every time it was an instant change with a loud DONG or BOOM, can’t even remember the noise. They just used it more than five times, and it was just laughable at how awkward it sounded.

I am probably biased here, but there was a side story of another college interested in his talents for coaching basketball, even though he is like a Div 2 coach and doesn’t seem to do much with his team. They don’t give the name, but it is heavily implied to be UNC Chapel Hill, which is even more laughable that a school like that would show a vague interest like they do.

But from the start of the film to the end, it just seemed like they took only the worst ideas they could think of to form the narrative. It wasn’t scary, it was just awkward. Lots of awkward. Lawkwards.

There is no way this is not the worst horror movie of the Halloween season.

Generally I am able to separate the real world from the movie world. I know that I won’t get sucked into a video game, and that I won’t be chased by a serial killer (because hey, why would anyone want to kill me?). But then we have certain movies that say, “I’m gonna to take something you love and make it scary for you, so that you can always think about the fear every time you do that task!” I like to call those movies “jerkfaces”, and that is what Sinister did to me in regards to watching movies. It is probably the same exact thing The Ring dids, but I wouldn’t know because I value my sanity.
Fucking Sinister.

Presumably this is the same thing that happened after The Ring, but fuck if I’m ever gonna watch that.

Our story begins quite creepily with four members of a family being hung from a tree on a very old looking roll of film. Well, now that the mood is set, we introduce the actual new family, moving into a new house with a very familiar looking tree. Great! Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke) is a famous-ish author, who got his big break when he began to write true crime style novels. His book, Kentucky Blood, based on a real murder and his own research actually helped bring a criminal to justice and got him mega bucks!

But he just hasn’t lived up to his former glory since then. His books haven’t been as good and local cops now hate him. But this time, this time he has it! Hell, he actually picked the murder house to live in instead of just being in the same town! The family was murdered (by hanging) and the youngest daughter is now missing. He could be a hero!

After this book he has promised to quit because his wife (Juliet Rylance) is tired of it and his kids (Michal Hall D’Addario, Clare Foley) are tired of moving. Not to mention their son now has night terrors. What a creepy kid.

But when Ellison finds a box in their attic entitled “Home Movies” with reels from the 1960s to 2011, his curiosity gets the best of him and gives them a watch. Each tape begins the same way, a nice family scene, spliced with the murder of said family.  They also all feature the youngest child missing in the murder scenes, hmm.  These series of murders take place all around the country, and with the help of Deputy So-and-So (James Ransone) he might be able to find a connection between them all, and save the day! Or you know, die himself. It is really 50/50 at this point.

Oh yeah, also this shit happening. Fuuuuuck.

This story also is about an ancient pagan demon who steals the souls of children. He also lives in any pictures of himself, including movies, and can move between them and out of them. Great! Movies are now forever ruined for me!

The movies drops enough clues for you to understand everything that is going on, so you should be able to figure it out halfway through. But don’t worry, if you still didn’t get it by the end, it is fully explained to you. Based on the ending, it also looks like this film is a “one-and-done” series. That should excite a lot of you, because it means we won’t soon get flooded with ten sequels to a new original horror movie!

Most of the film is Ethan Hawke walking around his house at night, with so little light, and it is absolutely terrifying. I wish he would have turned on a light more often, but when you are drunk you make poor decisions. I personally felt paralyzed when I watched the screen, afraid that if I moved I might be the next to go. I am disappointed that it did resort on more than one occasion to the sudden pop up scares, most notably at the end of the movie. It could have ended on a classy note, but instead went for one last “boo!”

The best part to me is that this horror movie actually has a plot that is believable enough in the world it created. That means it might actually make you think while you shriek. I’d definitely call Sinister my favorite new horror movie this month, and the one you should watch on Halloween night.