Tag: Eduardo Noriega

The Arnold is back!

Alright, maybe he hasn’t really gone anywhere. The Govenator was still taking part in The Expendables franchise at least, but with The Last Stand he is officially back in the lead role. Just don’t confuse it with the X-Men movie of the same name.

Although Phoenix could solve this problem in an instant.

Sommerton Junction is a small town in Arizona by the border of Mexico. That border is a giant canyon, so there aren’t too many problems associated with it. The high school has a big road football game, so most of the town has left for the weekend to cheer them on, but not Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold). He is happy to have a weekend off, but he gets a strange feeling about a trucker (Peter Stormare),who comes up clean when his plates are run.

Oh well, it is not like he is secretly a member of the Mexican Cartel, working on busting out Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) from FBI Custody (Forest Whitaker), and then racing him to Mexico across the canyon. That would be ludicrous!

Ray decides that no Mexican Drug lord is going to come into his town and kill its citizens, not on his watch. Nope. He wants to make a stand. With his crew by his side (Luis Guzman, Jaimie Alexander, Zach Gilford) and the deputized citizens of an alcoholic who wants to redeem himself (Rodrigo Santoro) and a weapons museum owner (Johnny Knoxville), they decide to go all out to show that they are not just stupid farmers and rednecks.

“GET TO THE DINNAH”

Sometimes it can be hard to figure out if you are supposed to take a movie seriously or not. I like to apply the LG test. That is, if the movie includes Luis Guzman, do not take it seriously, and I don’t think it has failed me yet.

I do love that The Last Stand provides an action movie without an overabundance of special effects, and being set in rural Arizona helps add to the grittiness. I liked the resolution to the plot, even if the plot was one of the more ridiculous things I’ve heard of. It also wasn’t just a silly shoot em up movie where the good guys use Home Alone-esque traps to take out the bad guys. I actually feared that any character could die.

But, the acting still is pretty bad, and the dialogue probably over did its “one liner” quota. I think the beginning was also a bit too slow, but it picked up when they discovered the bridge being built. An interesting movie, but not sure if it is one I will ever try to watch again.

BUTCH CASSIDY IS STILL ALIVE.

Well. Not now. But in this movie. He didn’t die in a shootout with the Sundance Kid in Bolivia. Why? Because apparently they dug up his remains and couldn’t find the body. Time for a fictionalized account of his life after and when he is old and calling himself Blackthorn in Bolivia, woo!

Woo!

The story is mostly about Butch trying to get home. He is now an older man, played by Sam Shepard, and wants to return to his family. He has never seen his son/nephew before (whichever it was), and has only wrote some letters. But damn it, he needs to get there. So he takes all of his money and sets out from Boliva to the America.

Shortly after, he loses his horse and his belongings though, thanks to some runaway criminal Eduardo Noriega. The only reason he doesn’t kill him on the spot is because he tells him that he has a stowaway of cash, and will share it with Butch should he help him get there. You know, while also avoiding the law who is trying to catch him. Also avoiding dying.

But besides that story, there is also flash backs of Butch after the “shootout”, and how he got to where he is today. But they are all kind of short and generally pointless. The more interesting story is his attempt at redemption and trying to get home as an old guy. Dude can still shoot, but you know, he is old.

So the movie is pretty slow. It is obviously going for a emotional thing, and not a traditional western. But outside of Shepard, no one else was that exceptional. Anyone could have played the bandit role.

Speaking Spanish would help though.

Overall, the movie was only slightly interesting to me. Really didn’t get a lot out of it. Made me thirsty though, with all of that sand.