Tag: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Pitch for this movie: “You know how we like to have former wrestlers, or action people, do emasculating things for our entertainment! Well what about a Tutu?! But not a Ballerina…a Tooth Fairy maybe!”

Surprised actually that the whole movie isn’t just him dancing in this. For 90 minutes.

Dwayne Johnson plays a hockey player. Hells yeah! But not in the NHL, the “Lansing Ice Wolves”, a make believe team that is a feeder team to the LA Kings. He used to be good at scoring and stuff, but in one fight he knocked out some guys teeth. They started to call him the Tooth Fairy, and then he turned into a large defensemen who hits hard and fights hard.

He is dating Ashley Judd, who has two kids. Because kids don’t scare him! But he does kind of tell the daughter the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, for gambling monies. So he gets a summons.

And bam. Tooth Fairy world. Oh he is being punished for making people not believe? They use their belief to actually do magic, fly, and tooth fairy stuff? Stephen Merchant is his fairy case worker, has no wings, and Julie Andrews is the head fairy, punishing him? That’s crap. He has a couple of weeks of fairy duty, in which when beckoned, he must show, sprouts wings, costume and everything.

So he has to deal with his punishment, using a big bag of tricks to get the job done, while also trying to not screw up his love life (relationship with not his kids), and maybe get his hockey career back on track, from thug to stud, before some young wanna-be Crosby takes away all the attention he used to have.

Now assuming this movie is good, it is about getting your life back on track, and hockey, and magic. Hopefully they don’t try to ruin it with some direct to video sequel.

Oh god no.

But was it good?

I have a problem with movies that claim certain things are real, despite the characters best wisdom. If it was a kid discovering that Santa was real, that can be fine. But if it was a parent discovering that Santa was real, despite years of placing out presents pretending to be Santa…does that make sense to you? Same situation with the Tooth Fairy. They put out the money themselves, and even replaced it one The Rock took it. Clearly there was a precedence of them always placing money for teeth. Yet also there are tooth fairies that do that for real, and somehow the parents also do it?

Fuck that noise. In movie watching we call that shit nonsensical and a plot hole. I can accept a world where the tooth fairy, magic, Santa, big foot, all that exists. I cannot accept a movie where they exist, and characters actions contradict their existence.

Although there was amusing moments, for sure. Watching the Rock get the teeth was entertaining, I will give you that. But even the hockey moments, of which they are numerous, was iffy. If you know the rules of hockey, the games don’t make sense at all. Penalties on fair plays, and bad plays no calls. And they aren’t that many scenes. So that inaccuracy just seems silly, especially since they try hard to get even names of the actual Kings at the time right.

Alright. The amount of plot holes and inaccuracies just ruined it overall for me. Easy fixes too. But Billy Crystal‘s two scenes were hilarious.

I have been told that The Other Guys was a great movie. By looking at the cover a long time ago, I assumed that was not true. This also came out around the same time as Cop Out, so I need to spread out my police cop comedy thrillers. Cop Out seemed to be a good movie at the beginning, very funny, and try and turn into a more serious thing by the end, causing me to care less. The Other Guys, on the other hand, seems to be a comedy throughout, yet still, I lost interest.

I am fine with this level of seriousness.

This movie starts out as an over the top action movie. Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock are chasing some criminals in NYC, and lots of damage get done. Sure, they had about only 3k worth of pot on them, and they caused 12million in damages, but who is counting? Crime has been stopped. They are heroes!

But the movie isn’t about them. It isn’t about Rob Riggle and Damon Wayans Jr. either, they are just normal guy. No, it is about the Other Guys. Will Ferrell, desk cop accountant who loves paper work, and Mark Whalberg, overly angry and paranoid detective who has to work with him.

The movie plot is pretty much, SLJ and The Rock end up dying with their reckless ways, and some people need to fill their shoes!

I loved the beginning, had me “lol”ing more than once. But as it got into the story (which was heavy on banking and monetary things, which is something I don’t understand well anyways), I didn’t get confused, I just cared less. Hard to describe it. The jokes did seem to get less funny, or be the same joke over and over. Eva Mendes and Michael Keaton are also both in this movie.

“Two possible pictures here, you chose one with Michael Keaton???” – Angry Gorgon Review reader.

I also didn’t like Whalberg’s character. Normally in a duo, one is annoying, and one is normal. You take Whalberg to be the “normal” part of the pair at the start, until later when you find out he is way annoying. Always yelling and freaking out. Part of the design, but not one I liked to see. So to me, it started out strong, then just got okay.

Fast Five! The fifth Fast and the Furious movie! Whoa. That is a lot of movies. So much that they are just giving me an adjective and a number now.

I think I was told this would be the last one too. Fast Finale. But that is false, there is a 6 and 7 in the works already. Oh well, can’t say no to more money.

Especially when it stares you right in the eyes.

This begins right after where Fast & Furious left off, so it matters kind of for the plot. But really you can guess what happened and be fine not knowing. Due to a series of events, the gang (Vin Diesel and Paul Walker) are in Rio! They are also framed for killing some DEA or ATF or something agents. So bring on The Rock who wants to capture them.

In order to clear their names, they have to both rob a rich drug lord in Rio, and avoid being caught by the feds. They need help. So they call in everyone helpful from the last four movies. Including Ludacris! Everyone loves movies where there is a large cast working to steal something.

This shows “three armies” in the Hobbit Cartoon. Like Fast Five. I am explaining this, because I don’t think anyone would have gotten my joke.

This movie was a lot better than most of the other movies. It also comes before Fast3, which should be after Fast6. So don’t get confused at who is alive. The races were pretty much all outside. Nothing was too confusing. But if you want, try taking a shot every time someone falls from a height that should kill or injure them. That should get you pretty smashed.