Tag Archive: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Jun 01

San Andreas

Get out of the way, motherfuckers. We got a GEOLOGY MOVIE to talk about. YEAHHH. Sure, as a professional (in the case that I make fat stacks of cash), geo-scientists, I could use these movies to bemoan the lack of good science in film and to talk about everything that they got wrong. But in …

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Apr 22

Furious 7

FAST FAST FAST. Nope. Too slow. Now you are just Furious 7. Look down. Look up again. You are Vin Diesel upset that Chuck Norris stole all of your internet jokes. Look at my hand. It is full of movies. THINK AGAIN. Just odd numbered Fast and Furious movies! Blah blah blah. I have said …

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Jul 31

Hercules

2014 was going to be the year of the Hercules movies. Two films, doppleganger movies, going head to head, months apart, to see who could make the best Hercules based movie. Kind of silly, when nothing could ever beat the clearly superior Hercules Disney movie from 1997. Zero to Hero, bitches. But two things were …

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Nov 14

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

Another day, another Milestone Review. That’s right, welcome to my 950th review for the website! The only thing really special about this milestone is that it is super close to a real, actual, super duper milestone, at 1000! That review I have been planning for awhile now. But for now, I am going to talk …

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Sep 08

Empire State

Empire State‘s cover looks like your generic action movie with no substance. Maybe that is why it went straight to DVD? That’s not nice. I know plenty of straight to DVD movies I have enjoyed watching. I have nothing else exciting to say before the plot outline. ­čÖü I will note that only one of …

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May 31

Fast & Furious 6

After Fast Five┬ápremiered, there was a lot of talk about the future of the franchise thanks to the scene in the credits. It left many people confused. How could Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) be alive, when she clearly died in The Fast and The Furious? We will get to that later. More importantly, the time line …

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May 01

Pain & Gain

I am not going to harp about how Michael Bay is the worst guy since whatever. Yes, he did the Transformer movies, and fucking Pearl Harbor, and he is about to kill the Ninja Turtles, but he has some decent stuff. Like. Independence Day. I love Independence Day! I am just saying, there is no …

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Apr 09

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra came out in 2009 and was a shit storm, just a big shit storm. I wasn’t reviewing movies four years ago, but if I was, I would have lampooned it so hard, in every orifice it had. It had some amusing parts, that red head was hot, but whatever. …

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Feb 27

Snitch

Dwayne Johnson has a movie a month for the next few months. Seriously. Look it up. February, Snitch. March, GI Joe 2. April, Pain & Gain. May, Fast and the Furious 6. Holy crap, that is a lot of rocks! But what makes Snitch different? Well, in the ads for Snitch, I only saw that …

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Feb 16

Faster

For world building purposes in movies I generally like it if the characters have last names. Just makes it feel more “Real” to me, or at least gives the false impression that they spent some more time working on the plot. But sometimes, movies can say fuck character names in general and go a more …

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