Tag: David Harbour

I wasn’t always scowling at Suicide Squad. When they first announced it, well, I guess I had to google it just to find out what it was. Villains having to save the day. Sure, alright, cool.

What really made me excited is that Tom Hardy was signed on to play a role in the film! It was stoked. Then he left. Oh, okay. But then they got Jake Gyllenhaal to replace him! Oh shit, yeah! Good going! And then he turned it down as well. Fuck. What in the. Okay okay, then they got Joel Kinnaman, which does nothing for me. But I didn’t get annoyed at the film yet.

No, what really killed me is that during filming there were almost daily “leaks” from the set, or quick glimpses from a random persons twitter, or whatever. Too much hype can really bring down a ship, and I hate a constant bombardment of advertisements. Not only that, but of course we have Jared Leto as his edgy Joker, maybe as the villain, maybe on the team, I have no clue. I just know that he was “method acting” and kept giving all of his cast mates shit, playing pranks and what not, to get into character. Honestly, he sounded like he was being an asshole.

That is what made me frown and choose to ignore the pre-screening. That is why I didn’t want to wait hours just to see it. I knew it would wait. I don’t care how good the trailers for it were, because Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman both had amazing trailers and yet they were disappointments. So that is where I am coming from for this film.

So here is a non asshole character and a non asshole actress, giving someone a new asshole.

The US Government is starting to get scared. What if another Superman shows up, but this time, he isn’t friendly? They need to have a task force to bring them down, preferably some of their own strong people who are under their control. Well, they don’t have any, or at least they don’t have any that they can force to work for them. So Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), vague government official, decides that their team will be made up of criminal metahumans, who they have leverage over and who they can kill without too much of a worry.

So she gathers her team. Like Deadshot (Will Smith), who never misses. Like Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), who…looks like a human crocodile for some reason. There is El Diablo (Jay Hernandez), a former gang member who can control and make fire, but has since atoned for his crimes. Someone named Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney) who can…throw a boomerang really good and piss people off? And Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), who has actually no powers at all and really shouldn’t fit this metahuman role they are crafting.

But that is just one prison. She has the mystical heart of the Enchantress (Cara Delevingne), an ancient being trapped in an archaeologist’s body who has to obey her commands. Her main field officer, Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman) is in love with her as well. And there is Slipknot (Adam Beach), who can apparently climb anything, where his climbing is metahuman levels or something. Finally, there is Katana (Karen Fukuhara), who wields a sword that captures the soul of those it kills. She isn’t even a baddie, she is just helping out while occasionally avenging her husband’s death.

Either way. Shit quickly goes down right after forming the team, good timing. And they are forced to help out of course to clean up a mess that is basically started thanks to the team forming in the first place. Hooray!

And yeah, Ike Barinholtz plays a dick guard, David Harbour a random government official, and some Jared Leto Joker nonsense.

And drinking on the job, I guess that is Boomerang’s other power.

Suicide Squad ended up being a mess of a movie, from beginning to end. The characters, the plot, the pacing, all come together beautifully to make this disaster of a film.

They explain that the Suicide Squad is set up to stop a Superman like being from dominating the world and battling him with other superhumans. Sure, fine. Now explain why Harley Quinn, described entirely as a wild card, on the team? Why is Captain Boomerang? The only ones that seem to have any amount of actual power and ability are the Enchantress, whom yes, is the main villain, and El Diablo, who barely uses his powers. Deadshot and Katana have some sort of powers or gadgets that make them above average, and Killer Croc is basically a mutant, but they are all just really good fighters. And what in the fuck, Slipknot? Can climb anything? Not even power based, but using gadgets? A complete waste of a character and has no purpose in this film (and the filmmakers must have known that).

Harley Quinn is actually in this film just so we can have a Joker connection. When I say “for whatever reason,” the reason ends up being so the writers can move the plot forward without thinking things through. She is there just to be chaos and her character has no point. Sure she is a scene stealer, because they give her the camera time and the personality. And she magically has a cell phone so that the Joker can intervene as well, how helpful.

Katana is an interesting character. The Enchantress should have been an interesting character. El Diablo was an interesting as fuck character. Captain Boomerang was very amusing and should have been able to do something in this movie to not feel so pointless. But these characters are not expanded upon enough, because it is not actually an ensemble film. It is all Deadshot, Harley Quinn, and Amanda Waller.

I picked these three as my pictures as the more interesting characters who didn’t have a lot of time to be important.

So the pacing is also whack. Bad things start happening in Midway City (certainly not New York City). Big portals, scary stuff, mass death. And we find out before they get to the big baddie that it has been three days since it has started. Three days! So little fucks given from anyone in the world, including The Flash and Batman, which are established characters in this film and movie universe.

When they show up and finally confront our villain, oh hey, their spell had just finished and now the world can be destroyed. Your timing is terrible, unless they decided to just wait to finish it until their loved ones were all dead first.

There could have been a good movie in Suicide Squad. It needed to not have earth ending events though, given the people we know who could have saved the day. It needed small scale disasters that actually made sense for the team to accomplish. It needed to not have such a messy plot and so many unnecessary flash backs. And it certainly didn’t need repeat what BvS ended up doing. Killing off a character and ending it with a just kidding. Two films in a row in the same universe? That is far worse than Marvel.

Johnny Depp is the type of guy who is always working and trying out new bizarre characters. It gave him some early fame but lately people are getting tired of him. Mortdecai gets to be one of the worst films of the year, as people assumed it was just a mustache obsessed Johnny Depp playing Johnny Depp.

But then there was Black Mass. Based on trailers and word of mouth, we were told this would be Depp acting, playing a real character, and not the same old shit as before. Something new by technically making him play a more normal role! A sadistic mean and manipulative person, but a real guy nonetheless. No super annoying quirks, no autism, just a dude who didn’t mind killing people.

The acting was supposed to be so great that people were going to remember how great Depp could be when he gives a shit. I am sure he gives a lot of shit when doing his latest Burton film, but after awhile, it just looks like he has no more cares left in the world and he would rather just sit there and shit money. (Assuming they don’t flop, which they have been as well!)

That’s the face I make when I shit normal things. Can only imagine other objects.

Black Mass is the story of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Depp), America’s Most Wanted criminal for a long time. You may have heard about him for many reasons. Or maybe you watched the documentary (or read my review of), Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger, which was out a year or two ago on Netflix. It went over his crimes and the trial once they eventually caught the guy (spoilers), while the film version specifically only talks about his crimes for the most part until he started to hide elsewhere in the USA.

Like most crime movies, this one also takes place in the scariest city in the USA for people who like grammar, Boston. Bulger and his gang (some members played by Rory Cochrane, Jesse Plemons, and W. Earl Brown) are criming up the streets and kicking butt. They basically control all of South Boston. But there are rivals, and there are conflicts of interest.

You know, like John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), when he returns to Boston, his home, but now a member of the FBI. He is friends with Whitey, despite the mostly common knowledge of his criminal activities. Eventually he convinces Whitey that he should become an informant, because there are other bad people out there who he can rat out to get them in trouble. Doing so, that would allow him to gain even more power on the streets, having the FBI in his back pockets. Oh hey, Whitey’s actual brother (Benedict Cumberbatch) is also part of the Massachusetts State Senate. Pretty sneaky stuff.

This becomes a win win. Whitey gains gang power, and the FBI catches a lot of bad guys. It isn’t until things get more and more violent that some people out there begin to get fidgety and want to bring in Whitey as well, because something very sketch is going down with his relationship with the FBI.

Also featuring Dakota Johnson, Julianne Nicholson, Adam Scott, Kevin Bacon, David Harbour, Peter Sarsgaard and Corey Stoll.

A gangster, an FBI agent, and a David Harbour walk into a restaurant…

I had a BlackWeek on my website, and I was most upset that Black Mass came out so much later than the other Black films. I was excited to see Depp back in greatness, although I think his role from Tusk and Yoga Hosers is actually pretty sweet.

And then I watched Black Mass and it all felt unoriginal. Just because I watched a documentary about Whitey doesn’t mean I remember a lot about him. The only thing I really remember was him being a rat and getting the other gangsters in trouble while he got away for decades. Black Mass should have been a nice companion piece to the documentary, giving us intense recreations of some of his worst work and making Whitey seem like a real person.

Even though I didn’t know about his individual crimes, the reason it felt unoriginal is just that it felt like every other gangster movie before it. Sure, plot wise it had the original true element of actually working with the FBI, because the real life plot is so silly no one accept it as something plausible in a fictional film. Stylistically, it felt the same. Elements of the film seemed to be bad recreations of Goodfellas.

Yes, the acting was there. Depp, Edgerton, Sarsgaard all did wonderful jobs. Cumberbatch sounded funny and I wanted more scenes with him because of it.

But I would hope that the film didn’t feel like the gangster films of the past and tried to make a truly unique experience for this real life story. I guess I could also be biased, because I also have recently seen Animal Kingdom (with Edgerton), and it was definitely a unique gangster film.

Liam Neeson fatigue.

I think we are all feeling it, and I think we are all sick of it.

I can’t even think of any original jokes about Neeson being some strange action/drama badass. At least I don’t think that A Walk Among The Tombstones features anyone in his family being in danger. Maybe. But it does have a terrible title.

The reason it took me so long to watch is due to how little I cared about his movies right now. What I guess I am really saying is that I am totally going to be biased with this review. I wish there was a way around it. The only solution I know is that Neeson just needs to fucking stop it for like. A year and a half. That will help.

How strong is my fatigue? I’d rather the kid sidekick character stay over Neeson.

Matt (Neeson) used to be a cop in the earl 90s, but isn’t anymore. Now it is the future. Now it is almost the year 2000! He is a recovering alcoholic and a nobody.

For some reason (I forgot), this guy Peter (Boyd Holbrook) comes up to him asking him to help out with a case. A case involving Peter’s brother, Kenny (Dan Stevens) a drug dealer. Doesn’t sound good. But what sounds worse is that Kenny’s wife was kidnapped. He had to pay $400,000 for the ransom, but it turns out they killed her anyways. So Kenny is mad and he wants revenge.

The only reason Matt accepts is because of the despicable acts they did. So he assumes they have done it before in the past and will keep on doing it. Might as well stop them.

He is going to get the help of local kid (Astro) too, even if he doesn’t want it!

And uhhh, the bad guys are played by Adam David Thompson and David Harbour. It isn’t a mystery, so that isn’t a spoiler.

“See, I picked a picture of them on the phone, because most of the this movie is just talking.” – Overly explains the plot dude.

A Walk Among The Tombstones is a dark movie. I don’t mean that necessarily in the adult subject matter way. No, I just feel like the entire thing takes place at night. I don’t think that is true, but I just can’t remember anything in particular that happened during the day.

So it has that gloomy feel the entire time. Aesthetically, it fits the mood it wants to show, but that doesn’t make it interesting.

Why? Because this film fucking drags. I have it tagged as an action movie, but that is definitely not its focus. This is hardcore, balls to the wall, in your face, drama. Not good drama. Just fucking talking and being an investigator and shit. Maybe like two action scenes both near the end.

And then it just dragged some more.

This movie might have been a good mystery novel or whatever the fuck it was. But hot damn, I’d be hard pressed to find a more boring cop/PI based movie from 2014.

At least Inherent Vice had…weirdness.

I was really worried going in to watch Knife Fight. Not because of the actors, or the plot, or the director. No, it was because of the previews before the movie.

There were four, and all of the movies either got a 2 or lower from me, so nothing really excited me from the group. Those movies were Love and Honor, On The Road, Save The Date, and Price Check. Ugh.

Seriously, seeing something like that before a film can depress a man. Thankfully, I forgot about the previews after only a few minutes in.

It’s the hair. How can you still find hate with that hair there?

Paul Turner (Rob Lowe) is a political strategist. Behind every great politician, there was a Paul Turner. He helps the politician talk to the press, to say the right thing, and to handle spin control. New story bad for our guy coming out? How can Paul Turner fix it.

He has two candidates that he is working with and soon to be a third.

Larry Becker (Eric McCormack) is already in office, but he hasn’t made the corporations happy. So his opponent is a baseball legend, being funded quite a large sum of money, finding every possible way to attack him. He also might have had an affair.

Stephen Green (David Harbour) is an all around great guy, who cares about where he comes from, a war hero, but had developed a bad back. With a bad back, he has found himself on the massage table quite often and may have had an affair.

Huh. I see a pattern.

Penelope Nelson (Carrie-Anne Moss) is not a politician, but a doctor who helps run a free clinic and wants to fix the town. She is a really really hard sale, to even get her name out there, but at least she hasn’t had an affair. …. …. …. Or has she?

Also starring Jamie Chung as Paul’s new assistant, and Julie Bowen / Richard Schiff as political helpers as well. That’s right, a mini The West Wing reunion in a movie about politics.

Yes, I do find that peephole-ish view of this scene a tad bit creepy.

Overall, I can say this movie was okay. It was decent. A true earner of the 2 out of 4 rating.

It would have rated lower if it weren’t for the hilarious political ads. Every single one of them, on both Rob Lowe’s side and the opponents side parodied actual ads and just felt amazing. They were of course ridiculous, but it just made them better. I loved them. By far my favorite part of the movie.

I also enjoyed some of the twists near the end. After all, the character has to make some pretty important decisions about his candidate, including throwing other people under the bus and possibly affecting their future just to get ahead in the polls. It could have dealt with these choices a bit better, but at least they were alluded too.

The acting wasn’t anything special by anyone, but the final speech by David Harbour to get his character out of trouble I thought was really well done/written. You go David Harbour.

Decent film, might hold your interest for an afternoon.

Honestly, when I was first told about the movie Parkland, I just had to wonder why.

Why do we need a movie about the death of John F. Kennedy? There are a few out there, some of them considered classics. Some tell the true story, some focus on conspiracies, but they all get the same point across. It was a tragic event, that people alive then remember where they were. Everyone was confused. Cold war, Russia, Nuclear Bombs, Vietnam. All this shit was happening or on the horizon, so the last thing we really needed was a dead president to shock our country.

But hey, why not Parkland. Why not another movie? Fuck it. We got about a thousand on Lincoln as well.

Besides, where else can we get these two young actors as brilliant doctors?

This movie is based on a book, which tells a story of the day President Kennedy (Brett Stimely) goes to Texas and a few days after. Johnny does Dallas, so to speak. For instance, we got the story of Abraham Zapruder (Paul Giamatti), a man who was happy to see his president, he filmed the event, including The Event. His footage was quickly taken custody by the FBI, used in the capture of Mr. Oswald, and then later made as a way to get mad moneys to survive.

We learn of the doctors on duty at the Parkland hospital (Zaf Efron, Colin Hanks), who tried their best to save the president, but found the task impossible. These gentlemen were later given the task to try and save Lee Harvey Oswald after he was gunned down, and, you know, that is sort of fucked up.

We get the story of James Hosty (Ron Livingston), who realized after Lee was picked up as the shooter that he was supposed to investigate him a year earlier and found him clean. We look at Robert Oswald (James Badge Dale), the brother of the shooter, who had no idea what was going to happen and someone who would refuse to run. There is also a look into the presidents security team, their presumed failures, and Lyndon B. Johnson taking over the presidency.

Also in this movie are Billy Bob Thornton, David Harbour, Mark Duplass, and Marcia Gay Harden.

No, I don’t find Paul Giamatti behind this camera creepy at all.

Can we all just take a moment to acknowledge Brett Stimely? He got to play the president, and you probably never heard of him. Sure, most of the scenes are actual footage taken by that dude, or him just lying on the table. Never his face. But he got to play the president! Actually, this is the fourth time he has played John F. Kennedy. He also played him in Watchmen, Kill the Dictator, and Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

What? Why the hell has this random guy played JFK four fucking times in film?

That is besides the point.

I learned a shit ton from this film. From what I could tell, it didn’t really bias a damn thing, just showed people being emotional, and getting sad, and doing things from their sadness.

That sounds dumb. But it is not. First off, I never felt emotional about the death of JFK before. Why would I? I wasn’t alive. But this film did a good job of conveying the emotions people felt and passing them on to the viewer. Secondly, it gave so many sides and showed so many people affected, it just really opened up my eyes to the whole situation. A lot of stuff went down, it was a big investigation, and you know what? I want to watch more. Bring on the JFK. Bring on the conspiracy shit. Bring it all on. I am sorry for claiming there was too many movies about this subject.

Shocking to probably no one, I don’t know a lot about Bond. While growing up, my parents didn’t like it, so I never was exposed to it and didn’t care. I knew the basics, I played the GoldenEye game. I know his favorite drink…kind of, and know he is friends with letters. But that is about it. I watched my first James Bond movie ever a few weeks ago, Casino Royale. I bought Quantum of Solace a year ago, just couldn’t watch it without Casino first! But I figured with Skyfall, I better get to getting, or else you will all leave me for another site.

But yeah. JameS Bond trivia. I am the suck at it. I thought Casino Royale was decent, took too long to get to the Casino for my taste though.

Watching my second James Bond movie? Excuse me while I get all hot and bothered. And dry. Dry from the title.

Hey guys James Bond (Daniel Craig). He does Bond things. Someone tries to kill M (Judi Dench) but Bond is like, no, and kills him first. But they find out he is a hitman and was also hired by Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric) to kill his then girlfriend Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko).

I am doing so bad at this plot already. But that Dominic Greene guy? He is our major baddie. But the girlfriend is not our bond girl. For that, we have Strawberry Fields (Gemma Arterton), another MI6 agent. Calm down everyone, he can only seduce so many women at a time.

Either way shit happens, eco-terrorism, groundwater, whatever. Felix Jones (Jeffrey Wright) is back in this, and his handler (David Harbour) who I only bring up because he looks funny.

Greene is a member of Quantum, an environmentalist group. Got the name now? But they are trying to get some Oil stocks in Bolivia, weird.

If you google image searched this movie, you would think this is all that happened.

Alright, second Bond movie I’ve ever seen, and well, it was alright.

I still don’t see the major appeal. After all, the James Bond lifestyle is so ingrained in our culture now, it is hardly as impressive. I thought the speed boat chases early on were pretty cool. But man, the scenery? Could have been a lot better, the desert was very unattractive to be in for that long. And man, the title! The title doesn’t make me curious, it makes me weary. It feels like random words put together, and doesn’t actually mean anything. I don’t like that feeling.

But since I am rambling and just saying nothing, I should end this madness. Probably necessary if you want to see Skyfall, obviously. I think I liked Casino Royale more.

End of Watch (I hate that there is no ‘the’ there) is another of those movies that I felt bombarded by trailers for. Unfortunately they only made a single trailer for this movie, so I saw the same two minutes over and over again. But from that trailer, I was definitely curious about this movie. Filming style was different, might have been a buddy cop movie, but at the time with very serious overtones. I do love genre bending movies!

Oh man, look how happy they are! If only they knew…

Brian Taylor (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Mike Zavala (Michael Peña) are partners working the hard streets of South Central LA. They are great at their job, if not a bit reckless. Brian is slowly taking classes, working on a Pre-law degree, with high aspirations. Mike is happily married (Natalie Martinez) with a child on the way.  The beginning of the film opens with a chase scene and subsequent shootout, causing the two to be suspended for a month while they make sure it was a legitimate shooting.

But no worries! They make sure they follow the book, mostly. Brian is also taking an ‘art’ class, where he has to make a movie so he decides to document his life. Why not? Cops are exciting! So he has his normal hand held camera, and some ‘spy cameras’ on their shirts, along with other footage from police scanners to make up the majority of the film.

They are like most stereotypical cop units, there is a hardass equal who always gives them crap (David Harbour), a lieutenant who only cares about results (Frank Grillo), and some other friendly cops who actually appreciate what they do (America Ferrera, Cody Horn). Heck, even Brian has started to see someone, a smart girl who is more than just a booty call (Anna Kendrick).

But when the two start an investigation on a Hispanic gang shooting, they soon find themselves deeper and deeper in the dealings with the drug cartel, who have expanded their operations out of Mexico.  Discovering mass murders, cocaine, golden guns, cash, and human trafficking have put them as the number 1 priority for the cartel to deal with. What they just assumed was a normal shift will turn into a fight for survival to just make it to the end of (the) watch.

Yes, the same Cody Horn who helped ruin Magic Mike is a cop in this. Same disgruntled face.

I know my description of the plot made it seem like a pretty serious action movie, but surprisingly I would instead describe it as a “Comedy Drama Action Thriller” film. It is seriously all of the above. I laughed, quite often, I cried once, there was the obvious action, and I felt scared more than once.

The film isn’t a typical ‘found footage’ film. I believe the director originally wanted the whole thing to be in police camera / hidden camera footage, but there is plenty of actual camera work thrown in as well. So that means we have a movie that fits multiple genres, and doesn’t even keep its camera use constant, but yet it works really really well.

Frankly I thought the movie would be stupid, but I ended up loving every minute of it. Gyllenhaal and Peña had excellent chemistry together, and it shows that they spent months shadowing LA cops and hanging out for inspiration.  My only suggestion for watching this movie is to be prepared to have scenes change suddenly. It may go from hilarious banter to scary cop moments in an instant. This form of ‘genre shock’ is pretty rare, and now something I hope to see more often in movies after this. End of Watch is a definite must see.

I have about three movies that I have been putting off, all with ice in the title. No idea why I have been waiting. Especially during this horrible heat wave. Maybe watching more movies about snow would be a good thing?

Thin Ice at least sounds like it will have some sort of scary element. No one wants to skate on Thin Ice. Shit can break man, and then what? You are in cold water.

I take sayings seriously.

I would now like to go over the paperwork assigned to this honey theory of yours.

Liability insurance agent Mickey Prohaska (Greg Kinnear) is a hot shot in the sales world. He even teaches seminars to people around the state of Minnesota on how to initiate conversations with strangers at bars and other public outings. Everyone is a potential customer. Everyone should be taken for as much money as possible, no exceptions.

After a rough night, where a con artist woman had stolen his wallet, he just wants to get the heck out of this small town. He re meets Bob Egan (David Harbour), a promising new sales man, and gives him a job from his company to sell in his town. On a routine visit, he joins Bob to an older mans cain to show him how to extort people for the most money. Screw this friendly bull shit. Gorvy Hauer (Alan Arkin) is extremely absent minded, wants to pay in change, keeps forgetting what is going on. After a small deal is made, Mickey finds out that Gorvy holds a potential very rare violin, from a local music shop owner (Bob Balaban). Its initial appraisal puts it a $25,000, but eventually they find out its actual rarity puts it at over a million.

Mickey freaks out, in huge money trouble, and potential divorce from his wife (Lea Thompson), so he sets about on a scheme to take the violin and sell it on his own. But at the same time, thanks to nice Bob, Gorvy gets a security system set up in his house. Shit. Mickey then begins to try and convince Randy (Billy Crudup) to work with him on stealing the violin, splitting some profits potential. But then things get out of hand. Someone dies. Cover up. Bad mojo. Escalation. Everything potentially going wrong. And an ever suspicious office assistant (Michelle Arthur).

No wood chipper? No problem. Can always hide bodies in a frozen lake.

Turns out when this movie was hitting the film festivals, it was called The Convincer. Not the best title, but people thought it was decent. It was sold to a studio, fine print wasn’t read, and bam, lots of things changed. Apparently over 20 minutes of scenes were cut, multiple scenes with the main actors had to be re shot, and other changes. The director was so distraught she wanted her name off of the movie.

But I obviously saw the Thin Ice version, and reserve my right to change my mind should I see The Convincer, but I loved this one.

Why? Well for one, it is basically the sequel to Fargo. People die, its up north, snow, Midwest accents, etc. Involves schemes to make money by screwing other people, and quirky natives. It features no one from Fargo, but who cares? This film was clearly inspired by it.

I thought the ending was pretty great, didn’t really see it coming, and loved the escalation of events. Sucks that the director got wronged, but man, I doubt the other version was that much better or different.

Ah-ha! When there is no movies to watch during a weekend (cause of screw ups) I have to resort to back up plans. Unfortunately, there is only enough movies in my backup plan to last this weekend, so instead of depleting that, I am going for back up back up plan. Movies I kept avoiding for no reason. And with that, The Green Hornet!

Which I think would have been sexier as a CGI movie myself.

Seth Rogen is a spoiled playboy. His dad runs a large newspaper complex, so he never really has to work. He always wanted to do right by people, but got in trouble as a child. So he felt like his dad never cared! But then his dad dies. OH SHIT. He is in charge now of his shares? And in movies, if you control 51% of the shares or more, you can do what you want. He gets all mad and fires everyone in his house.

But finds out his coffee sucks, so he rehires the coffee guy, who also is good with cars, Kato (Jay Chou). Kato is also good at every other damn thing in the world. In case you didn’t know the Green Hornet is all Kato being a bad ass, and Green Hornet being not as cool as Kato, which the movie tries to show.

Blah blah, eventually they try to fight crime, and succeed, but are scene as criminals. Because he now runs the paper, he can have them publish stories on them and sell his image! Even if Edward James Olsmos says it is a bad idea, the oldest editor there. Also there is Cameron Diaz as criminologist secretary. David Harbour and Christoph Waltz are also in the movie, not necessarily as “bad guys” but big dicks.

Yep, just huge criminal kingpin dicks.

So this movie has everything you’d expect. Small humorous quips, badass car, Kato being a badass, eventually Green Hornet and Kato fighting and no longer being friends, Green Hornet wanting to tap Cameron Diaz, betrayal, the death of a hero, and everything. Seriously. Everything is pretty much expected.

It wasn’t the funniest movie, nor did it have the best action. Hell, even the plot was just okay. I think the reason I put off watching it is because of the drama that went into finally making it. Pretty much a decade of problems, with a lot of possibilities of much cooler movies based on the actors previously put into the project. But we got Seth Rogen, so I can’t help but be disappointed.

Overall, the movie was decent on its own, but kind of felt like it brought nothing new to the “hero genre”. Afterall, Hong Kong Phooey already brought us the “bad ass sidekick” concept in TV/Film before Green Hornet (which yes, existed way before Hong Kong Phooey. But still. That was radio and then comics). But was it bad? Not really. Just okay.