Tag: Cory Monteith

Man, I hate this movie, so it is going to be a short review.

Why did I watch Sisters & Brothers? Well, one obvious reason. Cory Monteith was on the cover, the former male lead of Glee who died ODing on Heroin. I never did anything to acknowledge his death, having only seen him in one other movie (Monte Carlo), and then I reviewed Sharknado, which was a bit of a joke at his expense too.

But you know, Paul Walker got a review like right away, and eventually I will have to fit another Philip Seymour Hoffman movie in there too. So figured it was time to see something with Cory in it.

This mockumentary focuses on four groups of people, who all have a sibling, and their relationships with each other. We see them giving interviews with the camera, and living their lives. That is about it.

I literally can’t find any real picture from this movie, but I blame that on the TV show, Brothers & Sisters.

I definitely was a bit confused at the beginning, not knowing it was in that format. It starts with Cory and others being interviewed about their siblings, and I couldn’t tell if they were talking truthfully at first or playing a character. Cory himself plays a famous person who has tons of fans. I know, he was reaching for this one.

The movie also includes Gabrielle Miller, Amanda Crew, Kacey Rohl, Dustin Milligan, Benjamin Ratner, Camille Sullivan, and some other people.

I am having a hard time believing the cover, because it says it is a comedy, but I don’t remember any jokes. At all. Maybe a “Ah, that’s curious” type of reaction once. I mostly remember siblings arguing and people mad at each other. No, it gets the Drama rating and that is all it gets.

Without being too mean, this movie is a waste of space. Not a lot happens, there isn’t really great acting, the format for the movie is dumb, and the time did not flow by at all while it was on.

Honestly, I was willing to let Sharknado go by the wayside and ignore it forever. Sure, it is one of the most hyped SyFy original B-Movies in a long time, but it was even met with less than average number of watchers. Go figure. Most people just talked about it, very few watched it.

So why am I reviewing Sharknado? In honor of the life of Cory Monteith of course. Made famous by his character Finn on Glee, (and only that), he was an actor who recently died due to alcohol and heroine.

But no, Cory is not in Sharknado. He is now forever associated with the film for a different and worse reason. Case in point, here are his last two tweets before death. (For those who don’t know how to twitter, the bottom tweet is the oldest).

You’re damn right I retweeted them.

Maybe he actually died as a Canadian Government cover-up, as he was able to figure out the Sharknado conspiracy, but I doubt we will ever know for sure.

The vague plot of Sharknado is that a hurricane decides to hit the California coast. Los Angeles is right in its line of fire. The storm is causing sharks to run from it towards to coast, so there are dozens (hundreds) of sharks on the beaches, attacking people in about a foot of water. But when the rain comes, so does flooding, so the sharks are able to get further in land, still running from the storm or whatever. Even going into the sewer system! The sharks are also pissed off, so they will bite and eat anything they get near, except other sharks.

Eventually tornadoes hit LA as well, which pick up the sharks, and then in addition to destroying stuff, they also hurl sharks conveniently at anyone nearby. Well, it takes fifty minutes before there are sharks in a tornado, everything else before that is just flooding or minor wind based.

To add some plot to it, our main character’s name is Fin (Ian Ziering) which is funny now for two reasons. His two friends (Jaason Simmons, Cassie Scerbo) agree to help get to his ex-wives (Tara Reid) house, to protect her and his daughter…while also battling flooding, random sharks, and I guess the weather.

Because once the tornadoes start, clearly they have to find a way to stop the tornado itself. Not just wait it out like people have done for every other tornado in history.

Most of the movie is void of sharknadoes. I guess that is why the images were so hard to find online.

See, there are two types of B-Movies. Because B-Movie generally just means really low budget and they usually are overly campy as well. Still, there are two types. There are the types that are either entertaining through good dialogue or action, and those that are made on purpose to be bad. Those ones that are only enjoyable if you are drinking and making fun of it with friends. The first one is doable, just hasn’t been true recently. Just ask Bruce Campbell.

Sharknado fits into the second category. Seriously. Watching it for actual entertainment on your own is impossible. You will just get mad. It does this on purpose, but most of the best action happens off screen, which just means I am left bored. The danger they have to get through is boring, the dialogue is boring, and there isn’t even that much shark tornado action! The fuck. What if Anaconda had the snake only in the final quarter? You’d be pissed.

So I am pissed at Sharknado. They could have made it ridiculously awesome, but chose not to, because fuck it, low budget movies don’t need to make too much. Just enough. Dumb ass teenagers on the internet are hyping it up, and now there is a sequel. Shit. How can they do a sequel when they didn’t even have enough material for one movie?

Alright, so obviously, this movie/concert is for fans of Glee. If you don’t already like Glee, you have no reason to watch this movie. Probably won’t enjoy it. It would be weird!

So pretend this review of the 3D Concert Movie from a person who is a fan of Glee.

And a fan of the “Wharblers” who yes, are in this special as well.

This movie had a few technical problems with it. Video quality wise, some cameras were great, and it popped on Blu-Ray. And other cameras that they used were super grainy. Not what you expect in a “Blu-Ray movie”. Similarly, the sound wasn’t as high quality as it could have been. Could be a product of the live concert-ness. But I have a pretty good surround sound set up, and it got crackly and awkward at parts, which is bad for “jamming”.

The concert also had three side stories of “diverse” fans, a midget cheerleader, a big girl with Aspergers, and a gay black kid from middle school. We (had) to hear their stories and how Glee made it better, along with random fans throughout with quick quips on what they like, etc. You know, standard concert movie annoyances.

The clips they had backstage I was hoping for more real look at the cast members, but they were still playing their roles, not themselves. That was disappointing.

The songs that made it onto the movie in order are: Don’t Stop Believing, Sing, Empire State Of Mind, I’m A Slave 4 U, Fat Bottom Girls, Don’t Rain On My Parade, PYT, Ain’t No Way, Jesse’s Girl, Valerie, Firework, Teenage Dream, Silly Little Love Songs, Raise Your Glass, Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy, Safety Dance, Lucky, “Forget” You, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Born This Way, Loser Like Me, and Somebody To Love after the credits.

The most impressive fact about this is that it is almost all of the CD of the concert. 22 of 23 songs, just missing Dog Days Are Over (in special features, along with Friday, which isn’t on the CD (and Acoustic)).

As far as individual songs go, the Wharbler songs were good. Gwyneth Paltrow. The dancing was generally good. Songs were usually good, minus the sound quality parts. I was also disappointed that the “Vague backup vocals” that are obviously not the actual other glee members in the show, were played during the concert as well for some songs.

I am not a fan of the song “I’m A Slave 4 U”, but holy shit, Heather Morris was way super hot in this high quality movie.

Good old fashioned family entertainment.

I was also hoping Mathew Morrison would be there to sing songs, but just like season 3, they seem to be trying very hard to make sure he doesn’t have much singing anymore in the show.

Again, as a glee fan, the concert was just okay. Had enough technical problems to bug me, and would only warrant one viewing. Damien McGinty was also shown in the audience, with a quick 1 second cameo.

First off, I am pretty sure this movie is secretly made by the creators of Gossip Girl. Two of the three main characters in this movie are from that show, which weirds me out. Leighton Meester and Katie Cassidy. The ‘star’ however is teen sensation (for some reason?) is Selena Gomez. I am sure it is some Disney reason. All I know about her is she is dating Justin Bieber. But seriously, two people from Gossip Girl? How can that be?

“That’s one secret I will never tell, XOXO.”

Damn you, Gossip Girl! Whoever you are…

This tells the story of two friends (Selena and Katie) who after graduating high school are going to Paris for a week. Surprise! Selena’s older sister is going too, Leighton. Somehow, a British Heiress is in the same building as them, and she looks just like Selena. So, they get confused for her, and get whisked away to Monte Carlo! Katie also has a boyfriend at home, played by Canada’s favorite almost 30 year old guy in Glee, Cory Monteith.

So, yeah. More or less they all have their own adventures, eventually get found out in the end, but don’t worry, everything will work out for everyone.

And it was sooo lame. This movie felt super long, probably due to boredom. The plot is just silly and unfeasible. Not to mention the whole thing seems to be based off of an incorrect Gandhi quote.

Gorgon Reviews, helping you avoid bad movies, and fix your quote knowledge.

At night time in Monte Carlo, fire rains from the sky.

1 out of 4.