Tag: Chris Klein

I watched this movie, because I allowed a vote and gave vague descriptions. Sure, I obviously was going to watch it anyways, but by golly, Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li is first!

Eh. Well, I have only seen the early 1990s Street Fighter movie a few times, but I remember it was at least somewhat enjoyable and super campy. I mean, it had JCVD and Raul Julia (one of his last movies!), great people right there.

So, I won’t compare this to the game story-line at all, because really, I don’t know it.

Shit. He is in this movie? I am sad now.

When Chun-Li (Kristin Kreuk) was a little girl, everything was just swell. She learned some sweet fighting moves from her father, Xiang (Edmund Chen) and also some piano skills. That is, until some thugs busted down the doors to her house and started wrecking shit! They steal her father, and well, that is that.

Many years later, Chun-Li is a concert pianist, living it up. Apparently she wasn’t too badly affected by the kidnapping, until she receives a mysterious scroll. Basically, it tells her to stop doing shit, and fix other shit. So she has to seek out Gen (Robin Shou) and learn how to fight better to save her father.

He was kidnapped by M. Bison (Neal McDonough)! And his gang of thugs, Balrog (Michael Clarke Duncan) and Vega (Taboo). And uhh. He is also a bad man in real life. The cops are after him, for some reason. Non street fighter characters Charlie Nash (Chris Klein) and Maya Sunee (Moon Bloodgood).

This is the closest you will get to her outfit.

Awww, fuck. It is bad. Thankfully not rage against the Earth bad. The badness just made me super super board. Street Fighter has a rich history, lots of fun characters, and this one shows like…what? Four of them? Fuck all of that. Wheres my green electric person? Wheres my actual badass Bison? Where is my stretchy arms dude, or fat Asian man? Wheres my red and white shirt Karate people? You can tell, I know a shit ton about Street Fighter.

Either way, the action in this film was boring, and the plot was even more boring. I had to battle falling asleep, even though it was still early evening.

Story and plot were rough too. No one really seemed to fit their role. Even Michael Clarke Duncan, he was way too large/slow to be some epic boxer dude.

The one good news about even attempting this movie is finding out about Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist. Some TV show happening eventually. The poster looks super awesome. Could it help the series as much as Mortal Kombat: Legacy helped that series? Hopefully better, because nothing actually came from MK: Legacy.

Alright movie theaters, I am going to need you to calm the hell down. I want to watch some of my own dvds damn it, but its hard to do that when I see 4 new movies a week in theaters. Taking up all the review spots! So sometimes, I just have to put my foot down and say no. I am watching American Dreamz damn it. Err, it came out in 2006? Shit, I thought it was newer. My bad. But I am still writing this dang review!

Hmm, Hugh Grant looks kind of like an evil genius here.

The President of the United States, President Staton (Dennis Quaid, definitely not a Bush parody), is having a nervous breakdown. He just got reelected, but now he is reading the newspapers, first time in years, and people don’t like him or his war! What! He just refuses to leave the White House or do anything, hanging out in his pajamas. But he does like the TV show American Dreamz. What is that? A singing competition, where a group of singers move on round after round, and the winner gets a contract! (Definitely not a parody of any other American show).

Speaking of American Dreamz, they are in a pissy. They are the top rated show, but they want even MORE ratings. The showrunner/main judge, Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant) demands that they get something unique, not more of the same. An egotistical southern girl who sings decently, Sally (Mandy Moore)? That is boring. But if she has a boyfriend in the military (Chris Klein), that makes it a bit better. Maybe get a middle eastern guy too, like Omer (Sam Golzari). Who cares if the singing is shit, diversity like that can build ratings!

Know what else can build ratings? Convincing the president to be a guest judge on the season finale of the show. The president loves the show, maybe it can be enough to knock him out of his funk and be liked again? Hopefully no terrorist attack will ruin the occasion either. >.>

Also featuring Willem Dafoe, Seth Meyers and John Cho.

Will most of America find themselves Omar-sexual?

The problems with Satires is that if you don’t understand the satire, you won’t get it and probably hate it. But if you do get the satire, you will find yourself nodding in agreement and enjoying it, but you are already converted, so to speak. No one gains any new information really, so if it is satire to send a political message, you aren’t actually convincing any one of anything. Your side agrees, the other side doesn’t get it. Then that is it.

American Dreamz is a very silly film, and it isn’t subtle in the slightest what it is going for. It has some comedic potential, but I personally found a lot of it to be bland.

The ending, was both shocking and amazing. I didn’t see it coming, and was also over the top ridiculous.

No one really shined in the movie, and I can’t ever see myself wanting to see it again.

The title (Caught in the Crossfire) and synopsis of this movie definitely tricked me into what I thought it would be about. I was expecting a more violent, crime riddled, action movie. Instead it went the crime drama route. Most of the movie also is actually told via flashback, as the two main lead detectives try to explain the events of the last few days, in their search for both a cop killer and a corrupt cop at the same time.

Caught in the Crossfire? More like, After Being Caught In The Crossfire. I dislike the tense differences between the title and how the movie told its story, is all I am trying to say.

Scratch that though. I’d be a horrible grammar nazi, as any reader would be aware.

But really. If a movie is told in flashback, then there are certain things the viewer can take for certain. The people telling the story will never die. If this is an action movie, we have to think “hey, there is a group of people. They are fighting other groups of people. Who will get out alive?” Then add in flashbacks, we know exactly who will get out alive throughout most of the story. That takes away any suspense fight scenes try to add by being dangerous and make it kind of pointless. Yes, this is not true if there is only one action hero, as he obviously will make it. But two or more? I am willing to accept someone dying. Especially if they are trying to stop a cop killer.

It was weird seeing Oz from American Pie all grizzly and mature, and you know, throwing down some bad language to “get deez gues” but he did it fairly well. 50 Cent played a drug dealer informant. That fit well for him. The other cop was played by Adam Rodriguez, who has not been in a lot (but apparently is the guy at the beginning of If You Had My Love music video).

A lot of it was cliched, and generally I was bored. But some parts were good.