Tag: Canadian

It took all year, but I finally found it. I found a great animated film that came out this year, that brought me something new to the genre while also being emotional with a fantastic plot.

This is the sort of things that I would normally save for the ending, but I know you can see the rating up there, I have nothing to hide.

The Breadwinner is a foreign film, about non-American problems, a non average hero, and an above average story. It is the type of film that more people should be hyping, but unfortunately, it is foreign and had a limited theatrical run and most people just want to talk about Coco.

But read on so that you can see what The Breadwinner is all about and get psyched about watching it in the future.

This relates in no way to some TV show Breadwinners.

Parvana (Saara Chaudry) is a strong independent girl around 12 years old. She knows how to read, she can write, and she wants to be able to do anything she puts her mind to. The only problem is that she lives in Afghanistan, currently under rule by the Taliban, who are getting more and more frequently dickish. They are recruiting younger men, who have a lot of grudges, who are making the area more into a police state. I am not saying early Taliban rule Afghanistan was great, just that it was better than it is now in the film.

Parvana knows all of these things because of her father, Nurullah (Ali Badshah), who lost one of his legs previously in a war. She has a mother, an older sister, and a baby brother, but because she isn’t yet fully “mature”, Parvana can join him at the market and help sell goods to help earn money for the family.

But at some point, a young soldier gets angry at Parvana for having such a free spirit and not being covered “Enough”. This leads to a Taliban raid of their house, where they find forbidden books, so they arrest Nurullah and take him to a prison far away. The family is left defenseless and hungry, given that the next male in line is less than 2 years old, and none of the others are allowed to buy goods, or even leave without a male escourt.

Their family may die poor and alone. But not Parvana. She is resourceful. She chops of her hair, dresses like a boy, and finally gets to feel that sense of freedom she has always longed for. It is up to her to provide food and money for her family, while also figuring out how they might help their father out of prison.

Also featuring the mouth sounds of Kanza Feris, Kawa Ada, Laara Sadiq, Noorin Gulamgaus, Shaista Latif, and Soma Chhaya.

To really commit, she should have grown her beard like how all 10 year old boys do.

In The Breadwinner we get a regular story about a girl going above and beyond the call of duty, to protect her family and try to make things right. This isn’t some goddamn princess in her ivory tower discovering how to be good, but a girl who has lived a hard life and still rising above it all. This is set in the real world that has real issues, even if the setting is no longer accurate. This is the type of story that can resonate with the youth of the world regardless of their age while also providing factual knowledge.

And even more importantly, it is not a cookie cutter story. We get violence that might seem a bit extreme for a PG film, even if it is “off camera”. We have a goddamn war zone with people running around with automatic rifles and a high assumed death count. Their entire family is put into realistic peril several times, because that is the world they are living in and it is downright frightening.

It also has a story within a story, giving us a different art style, to sort of break up the main story into sections and give us a parallel to compare things to. A common idea and one that works wonderfully in this film.

But most importantly, the ending really resonated with me. Everything didn’t magically fall into a place and it certainly isn’t a situation where they lived happily ever after. They didn’t somehow cause the Taliban to disappear and run off into the sunset. It gives a realistic enough ending for them, without giving us the picturesque fairy tale finale.

This is an animated film that took some risks and they paid off. And it took Canada, Ireland, and Luxembourg to work together apparently to give it to us (not: no middle eastern countries made this movie about Afghanistan). I didn’t know anything actually came out of Luxembourg! But I am excited for whatever they brought to the table because now I have the Luxembourgian tag on my website.

Strange as it may sound, to properly start this review I need to talk about The ABCs of Death. If you have never heard of it, it is a horror anthology movie (all the rage these days) with 26 shorts, one for each letter of the alphabet. They have free reign to do basically whatever they want, to match up any word they want to a particular letter. It is an easy way to make a movie, as each director is only involved for a short while and can be done on almost any schedule.

So what does that have to do with Turbo Kid, a retro inspired sci-fi adventure horror (eh) movie?

Well, it turns out that this was inspired by a short made for the anthology that was eventually not used: T is for Turbo. Although it didn’t make it in the film, one of the producers decided that it would be even better as a full feature length film. So they brought Jason Eisener, who directed Hobo with a Shotgun (a movie I still have never watched, sadly), to be executive producer and Turbo Kid was born! And yes, you can watch the short if you click on the title link above.

See kids, dreams really do come true!

You see that? That is a GnomeStick, and it is truly wonderful.

The world is in shambles. The land they live in is now referred to as The Wasteland, and of course it is a post apocalyptic world. The future is a scary place, the year is 1997.

Our hero is named…well, no idea, so let’s call him The Kid (Munro Chambers). He is alone, a scavenger, just him and his bike. He is also a lover of comic books! Who isn’t though, right?

Well, this Kid meets a girl, despite trying to avoid strangers. Her name is Apple (Laurence Laboeuf), she has pink here, is very eccentric, and doesn’t seem like the type of person who could survive in The Wasteland alone. She just wants a friend, and the Kid reluctantly lets her tag along — only if she follows his rules and gets a weapon!

Eventually the Kid finds a cool suit that is straight out of comic books, and when he puts it on he gets super powers! Okay, he just gets a laser cannon gun thing on his arm, that has a timer after a few uses that lets him recharge. But at least it looks cool and snazzy. More importantly, it gives him the confidence to start fighting back.

Fighting back against Zeus (Michael Ironside), self proclaimed ruler of The Wasteland. He has an army of warriors, including Skeletron (Edwin Wright), who shoots out rotating saw blades, and Female Guard (Orphée Ladouceur), who is a woman!

But the Kid isn’t alone, no. He has the help of Frederic (Aaron Jeffery), an Indiana Jones looking mother fucker who arm wrestlers, until he loses his hand early on. And also there is Bagu (Romano Orzani), a trader who was the only friend the Kid had before this mess gets started.

When Metal Man and Skeletor have a baby, you get this lovely killing machine.

I feel like I was transported back into my 1980’s going to see sweet B movies live for the first time. This is of course ridiculous, because I was born in 1989 (Like Taylor Swift. We are both successful people), and I have no memories of being zero or watching movies. It is a ridiculous statement for me to make, and this entire paragraph is down right nonsensical, which makes it a perfect description for Turbo Kid.

I joke a bit, of course. There are character motives, a plot, everything that is necessary for a movie to be comprehensive. The world created is just over the top and very Mad Max-ian. It can easily be pictured as a movie in the franchise, just with a much smaller budget and a kid with lasers as the hero. Fuck it. George Miller needs to just somehow make it canon and everyone would win out in the future if they can eventually crossover.

There was a lot great with this movie, outside of its intentionally bad graphics for the death scenes. The soundtrack is straight out of the 80’s and gives the best vibes possible when watching this movie. And they were very creative when it came to costume (and hair!) designs, weapons, deaths, and sets. It was a visual rainbow explosion, despite the bleak landscape.

The cheese is high with this film and it runs with it. This is why I hate the bad on purpose films like Sharknado so much. Because there can be actual movies that are bad in a good way, like Turbo Kid, or Black Dynamite, that serve as genre parodies while also entertaining people without the use of alcohol.

This review deserves a third picture just to showcase some great costume design or something.

Yes. This will do.

What if I told you that sometimes movies are called different things in different countries. That wouldn’t surprise you in the slightest. You knew that.

After all, it is Gojira in Japan, and Godzilla in America. “Hey that doesn’t count, that is just another different language!”

Alright fucker. How about Frozen? We got the clever/unique title, while countries in Europe got stuck with the generic The Snow Queen, which the movie is “based upon” (aka, both have a woman with ice powers and…?). “Well, that one changed its name to appeal to different cultures where The Snow Queen story originated, to get more money!” Okay. Well, I don’t blame them for that I guess. I do blame them for saying it has anything to do with The Snow Queen, but I digress.

That leaves us with the movie for the day, What If. No question mark. It’s original title in Ireland/Canada was The F Word, and for whatever reason that title was found to be too risque or something for American audiences, so we get a much more romantic comedy-esque name to maybe get the ladies in? I don’t know. It is fucking stupid. If I hear it was the MPAA’s fault for alluding to maybe the word Fuck, I will be angry though.

See, there isn’t even any fucking in this scene. That would be impossible for them in their positions.

Relationships are hard. Just ask Wallace (Daniel Radcliff), who is finally getting over his ex girlfriend Megan after like, 3 years. So he is going to Allan’s (Adam Driver) party, his best friend. That is where he meets Chantry (Zoe Kazan), Allan’s cousin. They have some intense conversations, both of them a bit awkward, but it is nice.

Also, Chantry has a long term boyfriend of course, Ben (Rafe Spall), which throws Wallace off guard. Normally that information is given earlier in a conversation. But he is fine with being friends. She believes a man and a woman can be friends with no hidden motives. And you know what? Wallace is fine with that too. Fuck it.

Basically, this is a retelling of The Wedding Singer. Chantry even has a sister (Megan Park) interested in Wallace. Wallace is heartbroken after a long relationship ended. Chantry things she is in a relationship forever, but one that might start having issues. And there is at least one wedding occurring, when Allan hits it off hard with Chelsea (Mackenzie Davis).

It just has a lot less music and singing and no Broadway musical adaption yet. I say yet, because we all know Mr. Radcliffe loves Broadway.

He also loves diners, if you look at every poster for this movie.

This isn’t your grandmothers romantic comedy. This is a a romantic comedy for a more realistic newly mature movie watching crowd. Wait. It is only PG-13? Hmm. I figured it was R, but now looking back, I guess no real cursing or other adult stuff happened.

I say realistic, but in the end, this is similar to a lot of other romantic comedies, just with slightly different approaches. After all, the F word in questions ends up either being “Friendship” or “Friendzone” depending on how you look at the movie. Friendzone is a rather ugly word now, because it is pretty sexist in most cases, and used by people who think that being nice to the sex they are attracted to should eventually lead to a relationship and of course sex. Because not every relationship starts with friendship, a lot start romantically first. Unless its the movies.

So should I punish the movie for going the technically same cliche route of friendship with the intention of friendship leading to something more? Or should I ignore it and enjoy the acting, the chemistry, the comedy, and the ridiculousness of it all?

I like the ridiculousness route. Woo romcoms! Woo What If! A bit of it seemed forced, but I loved how uncomfortable everyone acted when they were forced into slightly romantic situations. I literally live off of awkwardness, and this movie may have extended my life at least 4 days.

Seduction is all about the hair wiggling.

What? You can’t wiggle your hair? Then you have to wiggle your hips. Can’t wiggle your hips? Then wiggle your fat stacks of cash, because that is the only other way you might be able to seduce someone.

Thankfully, I have the first two going for me, so I don’t need a guide to seduction, which hopefully The Grand Seduction isn’t about. I’d imagine it could be about seduction on a big level, like maybe a thousand people at once.

Yeah, that would be a grand seduction, wouldn’t it?

Or maybe it is on how to form the sexiest three way known to man?

Tickle Head, a quaint small island village in Newfoundland, Canada. Shit, even the setting for this film is arousingly seductive. It used to be a nice place to live, where the locals mostly fished their way into happiness, earning a living and a decent wage while doing what they loved. They are the type of people who live there their whole life and don’t ever want to leave.

Like Murray French (Brendan Gleeson)! His dad had a lot of kids, a loud loving wife, and earned his life of small town luxury. That is all Murray wants to do, too. But the fish cant be fished anymore for a wage, so all the men and town and Murray line up to collect their welfare checks and feel down right miserable.

But there is hope. Indeed. There is talks of a petrochemical company setting up a factory there. The mayor is offering a lot of incentives. They don’t want to work at a petrochemical company necessarily, they just want to work, no matter the job. The only (major) issue is that the town doesn’t have a doctor. They have been trying to get one for eight years but no one wants to live in their small community.

Well, through some underhanded means, they are able to line one up! Dr. Lewis (Taylor Kitsch), a cricket lover and doctor has to spend a month in their small town. If they can convince him that they are a special and unique place and like all the same things he does, then they can have him live there. Then they convince the company to come. Then they can earn a living. Yes. How excellent.

Also with random townspeople, like Mark Critch, Liane Balaban, Gordon Pinsent, and Matt Watts more.

“And this is where we stare out into the sea, noting the loneliness of existence.”

Without a doubt, I can say I probably learned a lot about seduction from this film. Getting that small village of only a hundred or so individuals to work together for a month on a common goal. Sure, some may see the entire thing as deceit or a lie. Some may say that it the spying on his phone line is down right despicable. Some may say a lot of things, but by golly, it was entertaining.

I was quite surprised at how funny I found this whole movie. I put off watching the film for at least 2 days thinking it would be boring or elitist, but it was really none of those things. This is actually a remake of another movie, translated to Seducing Doctor Lewis, which came from the wildly distance area of Quebec. Sure, some would say it is weird for a country to remake a movie from the same country, but 1) Quebec is nothing like the rest of Canada (basically, it is their Texas), and 2) America remakes its own shit all the time.

The Grand Seduction has a lot of charm, wittiness, and charisma, while also maintaining that uncultured small town vibe. Which, I guess is even more so the point of a film titled like this one.

Brendan Gleeson is turning into an entertaining actor, and to think he is only turning 60 next year. Kitsch is playing a role unlike a lot of his other things as well.

If I was this movie, I’d be able to end this review less awkwardly too. Let’s just say that.

I am pretty sure I first saw a trailer or heard about The Dirties sometime in the early half of 2013. The only reason I remember it is because it was endorsed by Kevin Smith and I saw a featurette for some reason. I was interested in seeing it, because Kevin Smith told me to be, but just not interested enough in seeing it to go find it right away. Or anytime soon at that.

But hey, that is why dicking around on Netflix is a good thing.

Which is why I found myself laying down last Thursday night on my living room couch bed, watching a very meta movie, and eating my Americone Dream Ice Cream.

Because I was born into this lap of luxury.

Matt (Matt Johnson) and Owen (Owen Williams) are you typical shitty high school students. They think they are cool, but they’re not. They think that they are funny, but they’re not. They think girls should like them, but they shouldn’t. Matt in particular is kind of a huge ass face. He is just projecting though. Because they get bullied. By bullies. Some, sure, uncalled for harassment, but other times, their own fault.

They are in a film class, which involves learning film techniques and of course making their own movies. Their dream project is called The Dirties, a hard R picture, full of violence, swearing, violence, and vulgaralities. However, the extreme low quality and edits they had to make just make them seem like even more laughing stocks.

Fuckers. Someone should teach them a lesson. For real.

And boy howdy. Wouldn’t it be hilarious and fun, if for their movie, they actually killed the biggest bullies in their school? People would understand. They’d get the joke that the movie became reality. They wouldn’t care if they ensured people they were only going for the bad guys. Yeah. Ha ha ha. That’d show them.

Also Krista Madison as the love interest of Owen, who really finds her a cootie patootie.

Holes in your jeans mean you mean business.

The Dirties was an uncomfortable movie throughout its run, but for many different reasons. There was the awkward teenage aspect which is almost always cringe worthy. There is the unsettling transformation as our friends start to drift further and further apart. And then there is the school shooting, still with a twinge of teenage awkwardness to make the entire thing hard to watch. I can only think of using the term “unsettling” again.

Its very low quality gives a more realistic approach to it all, as it is a fake documentary of them making movies and makin plans. Given that, we have a guy always watching them with a camera, who isn’t a character we get to interact with. Was weird in that regard.

But not as weird as the ending. Oh man, that was shocking and brutal. Such a realistic portrayal of the school shooting, watching a twisted revenge fantasy play out in all of its glory. It was just messed up man. Awkwardly shocking to the final scene.

Other interesting aspects are that the characters are pop culture fanatics, so there are tons of references to other movies and tv shows in here. Hell, they even made the final credits interesting because of it.

The Dirties is not a movie with everyone, and a lot of people will find the style very strange. So I’d suggest just trying to watch it, and if you don’t think you’d like the low budget narture of it it all, then just move on, no worries. But if not, finish it and maybe you will feel uncomfortable.

I really like hockey. Definitely my favorite sport to watch and cheer for. I also really like movies (you see where this is going?) So generally, hockey movies I am pretty fond of. Goon was fan-fucking-tastic, and Score: A Hockey Musical was so ridiculous, I couldn’t not enjoy it.

Well, the streak of great hockey movies is coming to an end tonight, unfortunately. Because I watched Breakaway.

I know what you are wondering. Yes, they do have helmets that can fit around turbans.

Rajveer Singh (Vinay Virmani) likes hockey. But he is Indian. Indian’s don’t play hockey. That is a fact! But her is actually good. All he does is play pick up with his friends, also all Indian, and they are looked down on by others. No, not by white people, just other older Indians. Indians don’t play hockey. Or Soccer. That is a movie reference of a movie with a similar plot, guys. Don’t make me spell it out.

Anyways, Rajveer had to leave college to work for his father (Anupam Kher), who really hates this hockey thing. He wants him to rise up in the family business that he created when he moved to America, but all Rajveer seems to want to do is play hockey and be a truck driver. No drive.

When Rajveer tries out for a local technically amateur but almost professional team in Toronto, he isn’t given a fair chance at all, despite being a great player. So he gets the idea. Why not just make a team with his friends? Then they can compete in the local tournament, win the cup, beat that other team whose name I can’t remember, and be heroes! Heroes to themselves at least.

Unless…unless the local Indian culture actually finds their tale inspirational and bands behind them? Just don’t tell Rajveer’s dad about it. No, the Speedy Singhs want to prove they can play hockey too. Also starring Camilla Belle as his love interest, Drake as the actual Drake (he likes Hockey, so what?), Russell Peters, and Rob Lowe as the local janitor turned their hockey coach.

Rob Lowe is LITERALLY the most famous person in this movie.

Oh goodness, the cliches.

Before anyone makes the claim, no I am not giving the movie a low rating just because of the first scene. Where our main character was imagining he was on the Toronto Maple Leafs and about to score the game 7 OT winner for the Stanley Cup against the Detroit Red Wings. Not the reason at all, but I did dislike it.

Unfortunately, this film is filled with all the cliches, even ones that are not about sports. There are other plot lines in here, outside of just Indians wanting to play hockey, but they weren’t as important, and just in general side plots. Because all the cliches happen, you will know already how it ends, and yeah, it does. There is even a chance when they might not get to play anymore due to a rule, but hey, they find a way around it. They even found an enforcer. They got it all!

The hockey in this movie isn’t really exciting to watch, and the story isn’t original. There was also a lot of Drake in this movie, more than I expected (which was around zero, I guess). It had some amusing moments, but not enough to make it worth ever watching again.