Tag: Brendan Gleeson

Sometimes the UK scares me. But usually that is just when it comes to TV shows. It isn’t a normal like or hate relationship, it is more a like or “I don’t understand what the hell is going on, so I am just going to doodle while it happens until it is done, then never watch it again, because I am confused and I don’t understand what the hell is going on, so I am just going to doodle while it happens until it is done.”

It is really a 50/50 type of situation. Thus my initial fear of watching The Pirates! Band Of Misfits.

“Bitches don’t know about my swaaaaaaaaaaaaaag. And I mean swag in its real definition. I have a pile of gold in the hull.”

Set somewhere in the 1800s, Great Britain has taken over much of the world. But Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton) doesn’t control the West Indies! Fucking Pirates are there!

This includes The Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant) the piratiest pirate that ever pirated. So much that he is going to inter Pirate of the Year, and win it for once! The only problem is, I lied. There are much better pirates out there. Including Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven). Heck, The Pirate Captain hasn’t even gained any loot this last year. Just some ham. What is a pirate without loot?

So he starts a raidin’ and a plunderin’ but nothing seems to work. None of the rich boats are coming out to his area. When he goes for just one last boat, he is disappointed to find out that it is just Charles Darwin (David Tennant). According to him and his man-ape servant, the Pirate Captain’s parrot is actually a Do-do bird, long thought to have been extinct!

But apparently with these science shenanigans, there is a potential for real money. But they have to go to London first, a scary anti-pirate place. Hmm, I am sure it wont be a big issue, and no one will have to put their morals in check. Lets not forget his trusty crew, including The Pirate with a Scarf (Martin Freeman), The Pirate with Gout (Brendan Gleeson), The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens (Ben Whitehead), The Albino Pirate (Russell Tovey) and The Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate (Ashley Jensen).

Going back to my earlier fears, I have never seen a Wallace and Gromit movie. Wallace just looks way too British. So the only reason I went this way was because of scurvy jokes, boy did it deliver.

The writing for Pirates was beyond clever, full of jokes and other smaller pop culture references. Heck, it even had a soundtrack full of real modern songs, including most of Flight of the Conchords “I’m Not Crying“. Damn, son.

I also didn’t completely hate the form of stop motion like I thought I would, another definite plus. Not sure if this is going to win best Animated Picture, but it certainly was a damn good one for 2012. I mean, Ham Night. Ham Night guys.

With The Raven we have a movie based on Poe’s works! Hooray! But not just his stories. This is actually a tale set in the “Real world” where someone is off murdering all these people based on the works of Poe. Even better.

I’ve seen weirder concepts for a killer to copycat. I am hoping one day there is a movie about a serial killer basing his kills off of classic Simpsons episodes. But then something else happened. Turns out this is a fictional account of the last few days of Edgar Allen Poe’s life. No one knows about what happened to him before his death, kind of just found him all drunk and dead. So why not have the actual Poe help solve a case about murders based on his book? Ehh, that’s not weird at all.

I hate how much I still think he looks like Matt Macfadyen. Mostly because its all in my head?

Alrighty then. Poe (John Cusack) likes to drink. No one cares about his work, and he is poor. Life is hard, and having a hard life leads to great stories apparently. Some people recognize his work, but I guess at this time, most people don’t care. We all know an artist becomes much more famous once they are dead!

But as you know, some murders go down. Apparently the crime scene looks like The Murders in the Rue Morgue, a story of Poes! Detective Fields (Luke Evans) realizes this and naturally questions Poe. He is all, what in the fucks, and appalled. So he gets brought in to help solve the case! This is good, because he is into the Emily (Alice Eve), but her father (Brendan Gleeson), captain of the force isn’t okay with that. Well, maybe helping out can get him on the good side!

But yeah, he doesn’t really help too much. Stuff keeps happening, based on the Pit and the Pendulum, The Tell-Tale Heart, and more stories I have never heard of. But will the pursuit of the truth in this case be the death of Poe?

Well, yes. That isn’t a spoiler. We know he is dead by the end mysteriously. Hopefully he at least gets an answer though.

I watched this movie and still have no real idea what is up with this scene.

Blah. I either had a weird taste in my mouth the whole time I watched this movie, or I just found the movie itself unappealing. I guess I was a bit turned off knowing that Poe was actually in the movie, rather than just a serial killer imitating Poe’s works later. Which yes, is my fault. But still. Definitely was put off, making it feel like they are cheapening the real tragedy that was Poe’s final days.

It might not help that I didn’t get most of the literary references. I think I have read three whole Poe stories in my life. I probably know more, from TV show allusions or whatever, I just couldn’t name them off the top of my head. But overall I thought the movie was a bit boring, and possibly a rushed piece of work that was trying to cash in…something. I don’t know. Not like there has been any other Poe show/movies that have come out recently. Kind of on its own.

Oh well, I got nothing.

In Bruges is one of those movies I heard about before (on the internet! and) from friends, but never really knew how to pronounce.

Oh what a scary film. How could I talk about it with others in real life. Just mumble the title? That second word is way too damn intimidating. Thankfully, that phrase “In Bruges” is uttered in the film on multiple occasions. Whew, problem solved, game over man, game over.

Nothing to do In Bruges. Just gotta look at buildings.

Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson) are in Bruges. Yep, movie over.

Ray really really doesn’t want to be in Bruges. I mean, fuck, Belgium? Nothing to do here. Ken seems more optimistic though, loves sight seeing. They are staying at a local small hotel, near christmas, run by a pregnant Marie (Thekla Reuten) and her husband. All we know is they have to stay there for up to two weeks, waiting for a call from some Harry (Ralph Fiennes).

While waiting, they come upon a set for a movie, probably the only movie ever made in Bruges. With a dwarf, Jimmy (Jordan Prentice), some local lady extra (Crackwhore? thief?) Natalie (Elizabeth Berrington) who has a boyfriend, Eirik (Jeremie Renier). Jeez, it’s like you can’t trust anyone In Bruges.

So why are they hanging out in Bruges? What is their secret job? Hopefully it doesn’t involving killing people, that’d make this film about Bruges pretty dark.

Aw fuck.

I have a good bad problem. All the movies I’ve been watching lately I’ve been liking. No variation for the website! Shit!

This film is definitely a different experience. I found it really enjoyable and “funny”, but just a different kind of funny. Colin Ferrel and Brendan Gleeson were pretty great in their performances, despite not knowing for half the movie what they did or what the problem was, just knowing that Ray really really hated Bruges made me giggle. Everything was wrong with that city.

It’s hard to really explain for me what is great about this movie. But it does intensify as the movie progresses, and even after a few shocking scenes, there is still time for some humor in the hotel stand off.

Colin Ferrel in one scene, on drugs? Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Wooo, action movies.

With a fantastic title like Safe House, how could it be bad?

This is a cheap trick. Dude wasn’t even the bad part of the movie.

Even though I watched this film a few hours ago, I feel like I forgot a lot of the plot. Whoops.

Well Denzel Washington! He is a bad man! He used to work for the CIA, but awhile back became an international criminal instead. Apparently sold a lot of secrets too. After getting some secret files from an MI6 agent, Liam Cunningham, he gets attacked by a mercenary, Fares Fares (what!? I am doing that thing where I just note actor names, not character names. And this guys real name is ridiculous). Blah blah blah, he ends up getting to the American Consulate in South Africa, and taken into a Safe House!

Low level CIA agent Ryan Reynolds is in charge of the Safe House, and has heard many tales of Denzel. Other operatives come in, and end up torturing him. Which sucks. But not as much as when the mercenaries from earlier break in and start killing everybody! Ryan has to escape with Denzel, both trying to keep him a prisoner, while also protecting him from getting killed. He also has a girlfriend, Nora Arnezeder, who of course knows nothing about CIA stuff.

With the “help” of agents Brendan Gleeson and Vera Farmiga, Ryan has to go temporarily on the run, until appropriate back up can be dispatched to save them. But until then he has to try and hide, while keeping a prisoner trying to escape, and watching out for deadly mercenaries. Also, of course, not everyone on the CIA is on the up and up, so trust issues are apparent, and whether or not Denzel is even a bad guy.

And then they made shadow puppets?

Summing up my thoughts can be pretty weird. Mostly because I am sure you guys know how I feel about a movie based on how I describe the plot. Probably.

Well I didn’t like Safe House. As I said in Caption 1, it is not Ryan Reynolds’ fault! It isn’t a single person’s fault in the movie either. Just the entire thing bored me. I wouldn’t describe any acting as horrible, just, whatever.

Don’t even have much more to say about it. So uhh. Yeah!

This review was technically a request, but when it was requested, it had not come out yet. I had to quickly remind them that sure, I would review, but not for them! For myself, since I try to watch all new releases. Damn it. Besides, The Guard is the most interesting looking movie to me that is coming out soon. The rest are dirty no good horrors.

The only creepy thing about this movie is that it has Mad-Eye Moody, but without the Mad Eye.

The Guard is about a police officer in a small Irish town, played by Brendan Gleeson. I think that they call them Guards there, and not in a mean way. Since police officers in the US tend to be different than (security) guards. He is trying to just live a simple life, hating the city folk, and being an unconventional cop. He also loves himself some prostitutes. Loves em!

Eventually an American (from America!) in the form of Don Cheadle comes to their area, trying to stop an international cocaine drug ring. He is from the FBI, but no one seems to care in Ireland, despite a possible half a billion pounds of product on the line. He ends up teaming up with Gleeson, to try and stop and find the criminals.

Feel like that is a very vague outline, but honestly that is all it is about. Them two. There are other important characters too, but fuck them.

See what I did there?

I laughed a bunch in this movie. Sure, parts can be hard to understand, given the accents, but a lot of jokes stem from that as well. Lot of subtle humor too. Not much in the way of slapstick. Also some great “cultural misunderstandings” humor, especially Gleeson and his thoughts on who normally deal drugs in America.

The ending was interesting, and not as sure what happened there. Vague stuff is vague. The ending also seemed weirdly placed considering the rest of the movie, so there was that too.

Oh well, overall it is still pretty damn good.