Tag: Abbie Cobb

How to Deter a Robber

Click HERE for an interview with the director of the film, Maria Bissell!

Sometimes a title is all you need. How To Deter A Robber. There. Five words, with two that really stand out. Who talks like that? Why are they talking like that? Is this a film to talk about keeping robbers away from your home?

You’d like ask is this a remake of Home Alone? That kid knew how to keep away some potential robbers, with some sadistic methodology.

Is this a film that will up the ante? Change the type of lead? Kill someone? Go hard R? Or will it not seem like Home Alone at all?

I do know that no matter what, just by title alone, I am curious and immediately comparing it to an awkward classic.

Being tied up with your crew is not a good way to deter a robber.

Young (eh, 28 year old actress) little Madison Williams (Vanessa Marano) is trying to pine the perfect essay for getting into college after she finishes high school. She is running out of time. It is winter. But the inspiration she seeks and craves fails her, and she realizes the writing she is creating is really not up to her standards. Her mother is constantly on her case about things, never trusting her, and judging her, so she feels trapped.

But she is with her boyfriend (Benjamin Papac) and they sneak out one night to a friend’s cabin, to check to make sure things are okay. They end up staying the night, and when they wake up, the place was robbed! Damn! People came and ransacked the place, and now they will be blamed, damn teenagers. They couldn’t even deter a robber (that’s the movie !!) by being in the home, so they need to up their game.

Madison’s uncle (Chris Mulkey) takes the two of them to his own cabin to spend some time away from her mom, while also teaching them some better tactics to keep the place secure. And sure enough, the robbers (Abbie Cobb, Sonny Valicenti) are coming their way next, so they are going to do their best, or their worst.

Also starring Nikki Crawford, Jonah Ray, Leah Lewis, and Gabrielle Carteris.

Trigger Warning: Green Face!

First cat out of the bag, this film never feels like Home Alone, and that is obviously a good thing. It needs to be able to stand on its own legs. Sure, some traps maybe get set up and attempted, but the important note here is that some teenagers who aren’t sociopaths aren’t amazing engineers to do elaborate pain enduing schemes, they just are not. How to Deter a Robber goes for a more realistic approach to the being in the same house as a robber, by, you know, being caught almost immediately.

But how do you get away from the robbers? How do you make the cops find them? How do you avoid death and unravel their trust? These are all important aspects as well, and where a lot of the film lies.

The main thing I love about this movie is the chemistry between the cast. I will admit I haven’t seen anything Marano has been a major part before (just side roles in TV shows that I didn’t notice), but she definitely brings it this time. Her relationship with her family members, the boyfriend, and the robbers are all believable. She is a talkative charmer.

The movie is a bit of a comedy more than anything, and despite not being laugh out loud funny most of the time, it is still amusing, and I still smirked throughout. It was one of those films that could be sweet, yet still have some darker parts throughout it. And now that I have seen this movie, I know what a Hodag is, and learning about new monsters is always worth your time.

3 out of 4.

Moms’ Night Out

Yay moms.

Hopefully if you are a mom, you also know you are a mom. I hear sometimes guys finding out they are dads a year or many years later, and that is unfortunate. So I have to assume that is true for some moms too. I’d be a shame to not know you were a mom for like, ten years.

Anyways, the movie Moms’ Night Out is meant for those moms who know they are moms.

MOVIE QUIZ TIME: One of these characters is not a mom in this movie. Can you guess which one?!

Oh being a mom. The world’s hardest job, apparently. It is harder than being a dad, because it involves measurably more vaginal stretching.

Just ask Allyson (Sarah Drew)! She is a blogger and a mom. A mom blogger. But she actually doesn’t actively write. Too busy momming. Has three kids and a husband (Sean Astin) who travels a bunch. You’d think Mother’s Day would be a restful day for her, but nope, kids. Even church is hectic! Her spirit animal of hope is Sondra (Patricia Heaton), the pastor’s wife (Alex Kendrick). She definitely has it together, no stress at all. Just a rebellious teenage daughter.

Allyson’s other friend is Izzy (Logan White), another mom of two. Her husband (Robert Amaya) is afraid of tiny children for whatever reason. He is very traditional and doesn’t want to ever look after his own kids in the nicest way possible.

After the disastrous mother’s day, Allyson decides to organize a Moms’ Night Out. Just moms, make the dads be the moms for once, so the moms can just be carefree ladies. Yeah! Fancy restaurants! Bowling maybe! No responsibilities! But when her (sister-in-law? Half-sister?) Bridget (Abbie Cobb) gets involved, and they find out her baby is missing because her boyfriend (Harry Shum Jr.) left it with a friend, well, then oh buddy oh gee whiz. That ends up just being the first of many problems! Oh poop. Why can’t they ever have just a night off? Being a mom is just so gosh darn turrible.

Also staring David Hunt as a cab driver, Kevin Downes as an “irresponsible gaming friend” of Sean, and Trace Adkins as a tattoo artist.

Not The MOms
Unlike the last picture, this one features zero moms.

Moms mom mommity mom mom. That is their target audience with this movie. It does glorify “moms”, yes. But mostly the stay at home mom. The mom who also helps serve her husband mom. The mom who is in charge of doing most of the kid activities while the husbands get to play games and work a job. That’s right. This is a movie has a very old concept of what it means to be a mom. One of the four moms, I guess, has a job, but only part time because her husband is more of a slacker.

Basically, this movie is secretly a religious movie. The guy who plays a pastor? He did those movies like Courageous and Fireproof. He didn’t do this one, he is just in it as an actor playing a pastor. Big role move for him there.

I’d say this movie is almost offensive in that regard. In fact, they made the moms feel mostly frantic and unable to handle anything that came their way. They made the moms kind of feel pathetic. This elevated the side characters like the cabbie and the Trace Adkins into amusing roles as they ended up doing a lot to help and save the day. So the get the jokes, they make me laugh occasionally, which is what saves this movie from being completely terrible.

Sean Astin and Kevin Downes play characters named Sean and Kevin. Come on guys, try a little. I am not saying that shouldn’t allowed, but in this case two characters had their real names, which is redonkulous.

For sure, do not take your mothers to see this movie.

1 out of 4.