Tag: 3 out of 4

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Ahhhh another documentary, run for the hills!

Thankfully, in a documentary such as This Film Is Not Yet Rated, it doesn’t really tackle an issue that people are 50/50 on. Most people I know are all on the same side of the argument.

Which argument? The MPAA sucks argument.

RATINGS
I have no idea what kind of pictures to show for this review.

Seriously. If someone actually before this was like “Man, the MPAA is great. They are so consistent with movie ratings,” then I would think that was a made up person.

It is one of the easiest things to bitch about when bitching about movies. “How the hell is this rated PG-13 when blahblah is Rated R? How have we gotten more strict on movies (Jaws is PG) and less strict on violence and gore?”

It went over the history of the MPAA, and how films get their ratings. There is a secret board made of parents with children from 5-17 years old, and apparently they can’t serve more than five years. Their identities are kept secret in order to protect them. They watch a movie, determine a rating based on what they feel are appropriate for their children, and that is it. They specifically are parents with no training in terms of film education or child up bringing, because they wanted an “Average consensus”.

Now what is wrong? Well, Kirby Dick, the director/narrator also hired private detectives to figure out the board. At the time, a lot of their members had their kids outside of the range stated, and one even had no children at all. Similarly, they found out that larger film producers were given more specifics on what to cut, specific scenes that earned them a hire rating and how to make it lower, while indie people were given a rating and said to resubmit with cuts with no hints.

It also showed a bias in the rating between sex material, and was more willing to give an NC-17 if it was homosexual sex versus heterosexual sex.

As an added bonus, he submitted his film for rating (which received an NC-17 for the scenes in it of NC-17 films). But also recorded that process as best he could (phone calls) etc, and also the repeal process. The repeal board is a different group of individuals, and also includes a protestant and catholic priest (which may or may not get to vote).

No cameras were allowed in the building, and for some reason they refused to release any individual names and quickly got pissed off and said no to his repeal. Thankfully the private investigators already investigated who was at those meetings months earlier! Oh yeah, most of the appeal people are movie theater and studio executives.

Uh oh.

PI
What have we learned? That PI’s ar pretty kick ass in real life too.

Now that it is 5-6 years later after released. What has changed?

Hell if I know. I bet board members were changed on the MPAA to fit the standards they claimed. But the repeal board? Eh, maybe just the normal changes over time. But as the MPAA gotten any better?

Hell no. So many ratings disputes still up for grabs, all of that Bully drama (which I might not disagree with. Wanting to show it to middle/high schoolers is not a reason enough to lower a rating. Also the Weinstein bros have said that the best type of advertising is free advertising…aka controversy), and you know, other stuff.

All this means is the movie did absolutely nothing to warrant a change. But as far as I am concerned, this and the FCC need to go, and we just have to make more people mad about it. Kony 2012 this bitch! Watch this movie, is on Netflix (eek!), who helped make it (oh okay). And if you want to hate the FCC more, feel free to watch Bullshit! episode on Profanity.

3 out of 4.

War Horse

Somehow, when Steven Spielberg makes a movie, people take notice. But when I heard about War Horse? I thought meh. Whatever. Horse movie. Animal movies in general just seem weirder to me. And the last two Horse movies I saw (both racing) were incredibly boring to me.

That’s why for this movie, that I’ve had access to for a month, I am finally watching. Just never felt like the right time to watch it.

Horse of War
And you know, Horses a- aww look at it’s eyes.

The movie is about 140 minutes, and packs a lot in it. It starts from humble beginnings, the birth of the horse on the farm. Learning to walk and run. Once it is old enough it is taken to an auction in the city. Albert (Jeremy Irvine) convinces his dad (Peter Mullan) to bid on the horse, despite it being a colt and them really needing a nice plow horse. But when the landlord tries to drive up the price, the dad stubbornly out bids him, using all of their money (and making it hard to pay the landlord his rent). The mom (Emily Watson) is mad, but they agree to pay the full rent by autumn and want to plow an extra rocky field to make the money.

But first the horse needs training, and is trained to follow a call. Can’t jump well, but can run fast. If only he can teach it to PLOW though.

World War I comes about, and due to the rent circumstances, the horse is sold to the army. Albert is pissed, but the officer (Tom Hiddleston) claims he will protect it as if he did all the raising himself. In training with another officer, the horse meets another horse, a darker bigger horse, who might be going on the adventure with it.

The horses find themselves switching sides, to be cart bearers for the Germans (with Leonard Carow), an old man jam maker (Niels Arestrup) and his granddaughter (Celine Buckens), back to the German side to face the gruesome heavy artillery duty (under Nicolas Bro). Many close calls over the years.

But will he ever get to see Albert again as promised, who is now a soldier (with Robert Emms and Benedict Cumberbatch as other soldiers).

horse
Horse BFFs.

This film is also based off of an old children’s book in the 80s, and a play that came out about 4-5 years prior. Not an original Spielberg picture.

But boy was it powerful.

The only thing I really knew about the tale was that it featured a “lot of different stories” and that made some people uninterested in it. Well, sure, quite a few plot points end up happening, but at least its all the same horse. Not a whole bunch of “War horse” stories (well, because it is in so many different horse positions, we get to see them all, but still one horse show). To me it felt like an entirely epic Homeward Bound, without talking, just how the horse changed so many lives.

I got way more into it than I would have guessed, even crying near the end. Sad things occur. Since you know, it is a war after all.

I do think that they could have put more effort into making sure we knew the many different characters, and how they related. I had to wiki some of the characters at the end, not knowing how they all mattered for the story. That was the landlord’s son? Oh okay.

3 out of 4.

Zombieland

Zombies!

And lawls?

Alright. It has been done before. But by the British, and no one likes the British. So an American version might be more crude, or at the very least, better graphics. I’m talking 3D stuff. Or at least flashy lights. It is a Zombieland after all.

Zombieland
Consider my dreams reached.

How did the zombie outbreak happen? Some bad meat or something, but it spread quickly like all zombie out breaks. And these get to be the weird ass fast zombies. Thankfully our hero, Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) has a list of rules to keep him alive. Work out his cardio, be afraid of bathrooms, always wear a seatbelt, double tap to assure death, etc. Definitely don’t be a hero. This is a war! Because he was a nerdy shut in, he missed out a lot on the initial craziness, when his neighbor from 406 (Amber Heard) attacked him. Sucks, because she was hot too.

He meets Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a middle aged man who wasn’t good at much, but turns out is very good at killing zombies. They have code name in order to not get close to each other. Such as where they are from or where they are heading. He is a simple man, who just wants to survive, and really find a twinkie to eat.

They meet Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who con them out of their vehicle and weapons. Shit is serious. Very rude. The rest of the movie involves them working to get their car back, possibly trusting strangers, and maybe even breaking a rule or two.

Oh, and there is a cameo by Bill Murray, which is great. Especially since I only like Murray when he is in cameo form.

batter up\
Home run right there.

Good things tend to happen when you take an already outrageous accepted genre and do outrageous things during it. Most of the jokes don’t come from dialogue, they come from the few actors in this movie behaving to real zombie situations. Turns out it can be amusing to watch a bunch of fat zombies in a grocery store getting their heads knocked off with a bat. Or riding in a roller coaster with a shotgun. Or hitting a zombie by driving by with the door open, for shits and giggles.

The plot of the movie pretty much boils down to “The world has zombie now, it sucks, try to survive”. Really the only plot I could give was just back story that we learn throughout the movie, since I don’t want to actually say the entire story. That’d be bad for the four of you who haven’t seen Zombieland.

Its a very enjoyable movie with a budget big enough to put on some pretty over the top awesome scenes.

3 out of 4.

The Squid and The Whale

Uh oh, The Squid And The Whale? You know that means it will be a quirky movie.

An autobiographical, quirky movie too.

squid
Jeff Daniels looking like a hobo? Must be artsy too.

This is supposed to be a story about the youth of Noah Baumbach. Who is that? He is a writer, who works on a lot of Wes Anderson movies. I mean, hey, if you want to make a movie about your life, go for it.

Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney are going to get divorced! Jeff is a pseudo famous writer, who used to be a big shot. Now he just works at a university, having a hard time writing about great work. Laura got better at writing thanks to him, and is even about to get a nice book deal! But that isn’t the cause for concern. They argue a lot, so it is divorce time.

Their two sons, Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline, obviously don’t like this. They have joint custody (without lawyers) so have figured out the schedule for the two to go between their home with the mom, and the dads new home.

Jesse is pissed off at the situation, and blames his mom, thinking she is mad at the father for not being as successful any more, and even more mad when he finds out she cheated. Owen sides more with his mother, as he only really knows his father as teh stay at home / teacher guy who has never really been a success and drinks a lot. The mom begins to see Owen’s tennis coach (William Baldwin) and the father pursues a current student of his (Anna Paquin).

Jesse also starts dating Halley Feiffer, who is someone he is interested in, but thinks he can do better. (Yeahhh). He also claims to have written the song “Hey You” by Pink Floyd, playing it at a school talent show (this is the 80s). Eventually he has to see a school counselor (Ken Leung, from Lost!). By the end, when he is able to conquer his own fears and see the Squid/Whale exhibit at the Natural Museum, he realizes the truth of his situation, and how blinded he had been the whole time.

Head
ALSO look at that head!

So one thing to note is all the characters do a really good job in this movie. But most notably the different kids reaction to the divorce, and the eventual realization of why they take the sides that they take. But more importantly, Eisenberg’s character acts a HELL of a lot like his later portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network. The level of assholery it is there, and he is an intelligent character, just not as intelligent. But the way he talks to his girlfriend? His reaction towards others?

Sure he is a bit more emotional, but besides that, I would not be surprised if they saw this film and gave him Zuckerberg because of it. It is weirdly similar.

The character’s have different names from the director, which I guess is him making it less of a biography and more of a story, but I have to assume Jesse plays the director, and not the little kid.

It is a pretty touching movie that doesn’t hold itself back at all, and really relies mostly on the actors and emotions.

3 out of 4.

Repo Men

I definitively had Repo Men on the shelf for over a year before finally watching it. Why? Because I thought the plot would be obvious. I thought it would be lame action.

I also knew that the Repo! The Genetic Opera had also existed, even though I hadn’t seen it yet. Just didn’t like two movies having similar dystopian futures, despite their (now knowing) very different plots.

But hey. Lets not judge it before we watch it. That’d be horrible.

Bear testies
But the action does look quite shocking.

Jude Law is a repo man! Not really too scary, but he does you know, go collect organs from people who are behind on their payments by a certain time. He is required to ask them if they want an ambulance, but normally doe when they are knocked out. Not that it matters. If they are losing their heart, an ambulance wont really be able to help. His wife, Carice van Houten, wants him to stop (because its kind of mean) and move to sales. Yes, switch to giving the organs (and bad contracts) versus taking them. Pay is worse, but at least hours are stable.

Either way, on his supposed last extract before he was going to switch, a crazy explosion happened and left him badly hurt. So something happens, can you guess? You can totally guess. He gets a new heart from the company. Yet has the same exact guidelines as a normal person, thanks to Liev Schreiber, his boss. This pisses him off, and thinks it is a death sentence. His partner, Forest Whitaker, tries to get him back on the job and collecting, but Jude can’t will himself to kill others anymore.

Knowing his time is up soon, Jude finds himself in a colony of people hiding out with organs. He meets John Leguizamo, who i a surgeon himself, but only takes away the organs from other people. He also meets Alice Braga, a girl who has been on the run forever, and has dozens of expired organs. Once his time is up, needless to say none of his former workmates want to go after him, but in the end it has to be Forest.

What then occurs is their attempts at both escape from the country and clearing their organs from their record book, so they can escape to a foreign beach and live carefree for the rest of their days.

Asskickery
Not to mention some intense ass-kickery.

Despite the kind of obvious turn of events, I was still thinking it was a pretty decent movie. But the last twenty or so minutes? That shit was amazing. The action was intense, the drama was intense. The ending? I was definitely surprised by it, and made the movie much better. It answered all of my questions, and was not at all what I was expecting.

Well done ending. Pretty sure its worthy enough to be the only reason to watch it.

3 out of 4.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes is one of those characters that everyone knows. Like Robin Hood, but with Asperger’s Syndrome. and nothing like Robin Hood.

The movie tries to create a Holmes that is closer to the actual source material, and not like the more famous “pipe and hat, smart guy” that some other show popularized. Because apparently Holmes can fight too!

Holmes
He also is trusting of such silly things, like jail cells.

At the beginning of the movie, Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) and John Watson (Jude Law) are trying to stop Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong) from killing a woman, and attempting to summon a demon.

Well they catch him, and successfully put him in jail. Later, he is successfully hanged for his crimes and the movie is over, yay!

Or not? A few days later Holmes is visited by Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), a former adversary, and still current thief. She needs his help to find a man, and is working for a mysterious professor. Oh yeah, and Lord Blackwood’s body cannot be found, and it makes it seem like he escaped from the inside. Especially when other people start dying, and you know, see him.

This causes the Temple of the Four Orders to get involved, a secret society dealing with magic and the dark arts, and want to put a stop to Blackwood, so they try to hire Holmes. Long story short, bad things happen, where Blackwood puts the entire British parliament in danger, with plans on then taking over the US and the world.

Oh yeah, and we get the bumbling Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) and Mary (Kelly Reilly) the potential fiance to Watson in here as well.

Adele
It should be noted that most of her outfits look out of place, even in old-timey England.

This movie probably gets the distinction for being the easiest to understand Guy Ritchie movie. They are all British, but since it is helmed by RBJ, it is the least British. Not saying that all American actors are easy to understand, because Brad Pitt in Snatch was definitely the least understandable character.

Much like how my paragraph probably made no sense just then.

But still! Its hard for me to to give the genre “Adventure” to most movies, but I find it entirely suitable. With action, drama, and comedy, the first Holmes movie was entertaining in all aspects.

The second one? Well, we will see. I heard it had Thor in it.

3 out of 4.

Gran Torino

Gran Torino was meant to be Clint Eastwood‘s last movie as an actor!

But now that I see his imdb, he is supposed to be acting in something called Trouble With The Curve later this year. Huh. Looks good too. My definition of good is “sad”, by the way.

Gran Torino
Turns out a Gran Torino is a muscle car from Ford. From AMERICA!

The movie opens with the loss of Eastwood’s wife.. There is a gathering at his house, with “Friend” and “family”. The friends being mostly superficial, and his family thinking he is a curmudgeon who doesn’t care about anyone. Not really true. He cared about his wife! And his car. He fought in the Korean war, and used to live in a community of hard working class (White) citizens.

But this is Detroit, and the jobs have left and it has become poor. Now his entire neighborhood is poor Asian people, more specifically Hmong. He also has to deal with a young Catholic priest (Christopher Carley) who really really wants him to be all religious like his wife, but he hates that some young guy is trying to make him do anything.

His neighbors have a son and daughter, played by Bee Vang and Ahney Her. Bee is pressured to join a local gang by his cousin, and his initiation is to steal the Gran Torino from his neighbor. Fortunately for him, he gets caught. The gang pressures him to do more bad things, but Clint chases him off, which makes the neighbors love him.. To make up for the almost crime, he is sent over to work for Clint around his yard and house. He eventually makes it so that Bee must do yard work elsewhere and help his neighbors, making the overall community better.

Escalation continues between the gang and Bee, until Clint tries to intervene and beats up a gang member. They don’t like that at all, so they perform a drive by on the house on the neighbors house, and hit Bee and kidnap his sister. Needless to say, this makes him very angry and wants real revenge. Real hate demands real killing. But Clint knows what it is like to kill a man and doesn’t think he should have to live his life knowing that too. Can he put an end to the gang violence and redeem himself to all parties at the same time?

Eastwood
What kind of dick would try and bring violence to an old man too?

I probably owned this movie for over a year before I finally watched it. Was never in the mood for a serious race relations movie. Because all I really knew about it was the racial thing. After all, half of the dialogue seems to be full of racial slurs.

I also liked it a lot. Made what is a weird small occurrence seem like the grandest of causes for someone to fight for. I think most of the time, a gang wouldn’t care that much that a cousin doesn’t join them, they care more if they decide to leave the gang afterwards. But man, I really wanted them to be punished, and was stoked to see Clint Eastwood be the punisher. Kind of.

Really well acted, and if you don’t get emotional by the end, then you just probably weren’t paying attention.

3 out of 4.

Jesus Henry Christ

I chances of me finding out about Jesus Henry Christ and watching it were probably pretty low. Just looking at a bunch of titles for 2012 movies, knowing I have been not on the new side recently, and saw it and thought. Huh. Why not. Title alone.

Turns out it is based on a short story and produced by Julia Roberts. A star backing an indie movie, watch out!

I also think it has a limited release on theaters starting…well today. Whoops!

JHC
This picture actually shows most of the plot.

This is a story about a boy named Henry (Jason Spevack). Henry is an only child raised by his single mom Patricia (Toni Collette), whom he calls by name. Patricia is a feminist and protester throughout most of her life, thanks to weird incidents in her youth. Thanks to a tragic (Drunken) accident, her mom was a killed, and she was raised solely by her dad Stan (Frank Moore) and four older brothers.

What Henry doesn’t know is that he was a “test tube” baby, and has no idea who his biological dad is. But his grandfather might, thanks to protesting. Hell, Patricia was mad that he came out a boy. But at 9 months when he was already able to talk, they figured something was up. Even getting kicked out of kindergarten for being too advanced, and then kicked out of a private catholic school for trying to disprove the bible.

Thanks to crazy genetics, he can remember everything he has seen, making himself pretty advanced.

Either way, thanks to his grandfather, he finds out that his most likely father is a professor at a local university (Michael Sheen), who has recently published a book entitled “Born Gay or Made That Way?”. Which features his daughters face, Audrey (Samantha Weinstein), a he experimented with her upbringing (also a single father), by making her entirely gender neutral to see..well, what happens. Besides the whole, ruining his daughters life with a book about her maybe being a lesbian.

Turns out it isn’t that simple, he could have a different father, but that guy is dead. That dead guy? Also might be Audrey’s real father too. So all four of them get to do fun parental tests to find out just who i related to who.

In a nutshell, a “dysfunctional family comedy” where the family might not be a family at all.

finger bang
A family that needle pricks together…

Not only is this another indie quirky family comedy thing where every character is a very specific extreme that will never happen…it is also shot, differently.

Weirdly?

Hard to describe. But I loved the cinematography (And the plot and actors/actresses, etc). Just felt unique, and slightly different, but not like “Whoa, get off my screen Hipster!” different. Maybe it was all very subtle. Or maybe they just had to do it to save money, because its an indie film.

I have no idea, but it was definitely a very interesting movie to watch. I will for sure get it once it comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray/whatever new technology disk.

3 out of 4.

Fired Up!

For some reason, I thought Fired Up! came out around 2005 or something. Maybe all the times I thought I saw that it was on tv, was really just commercials for it. I guess.

Either way, a chee-

Oh fuck, I was confusing it with Stick It! My bad.

Yeah, I guess I just had no idea when this movie came out at all. Huh. Oh well, yay cheerleading movies.

Teen sex
Which also happen to be very similar to teen sex comedies, if it wasn’t for the PG-13 rating.

But first Eric Christian Olsen is 35 years old, and 32 when this movie came out. What the hell man. Stop playing high school students. One of his more famous roles as a high school student was in Not Another Teen Movie, 11 years ago, when he was 24. I know they usually get 20 somethings, but damn man. Get out of the high school funk.

Him and Nicholas D’Agosto (only 29 when the movie came out) are successful football players at school. And after this upcoming summer, they will be seniors (yeahh not even seniors!). They are not looking forward to football camp, 2 weeks in El Paso, Texas, after it was changed from Miami. They also like finding vulnerable women and one night standing them. That too. But hey, as long as no one gets hurt.

But once they find out about Cheerleading camp, a 3 week fest with over 300 women they will never meet again in their life, they plan to fake join the cheerleading squad to bang the weeks away. After two weeks, they will leave them and go to the post football camp house party, and all will be wonderful. Thanks to the help of Poppy (Juliette Goglia), the younger sister mobster like character, they convince the cheer captain Sarah Roemer to let them join, even though she is certain they only want to do it to bang chicks. They could use guys on their team, especially ones who can flip and shit.

In the two weeks they succeed at their goal, but also D’Agostino falls for Roemer. Too bad she has an ultra douchy boyfriend (David Walton). Eric has made it his goal to bang one of the instructors, Danneel Ackles, who is married to the first male cheerleader to ever make it to Nationals, John Michael Higgins, camp headmaster.

Obvious plot points are obvious. They want to help them beat the evil Panthers squad who are jerks, they get the womens, they stay on as cheerleaders instead of football players. It also has Margo Harshman as a potentially insane cheerleader, and I haven’t seen her in anything since Even Stevens.

Cast
It’s amazing how the main cast members on the team tend to stand together, and never talk to the other team members.

While watching this movie, I can’t say I was surprised by any direction the plot went. Very straight forward and obvious movie.

But damn it, it was funny. Maybe because it was PG-13 and couldn’t have “naked women” being the selling point of the movie, they were left to resort to humor to try and make it decent, and I think it worked. If I had the ability to retain movie quotes like I used too, I’d be quoting a lot of this everywhere I go.

Obviously its not the greatest movie ever made, but it gets the job done.

3 out of 4.

The Dark Knight

Hooray! Review 450! That in no way is a real significant number, just that it is divisible by 50.

Normally this is where I do a big long review of a bad movie, spoil the shit out of it, and make you laugh. Twilight series and High School Musical stuff so far. But the next bad movie I want to review I am saving for 500. It is kind of a special one for this site.

So instead, I will do a “controversial” review for a widely liked and known movie. And use the fact that there is a lot of pictures to make nerdy/lame jokes.
How could a review of The Dark Knight be controversial? Because I am only giving it a 3/4, and I will try to explain why I didn’t love it to the max.

Nipples
Because this movie featured not enough bat nipples.

Batman is running around batmanning in this movie, but so are fake batmans. He has to save a fake batman from trying to batman the return of Scarecrow, in the movie as just a cameo. Apparently Batman’s existence isn’t making crime go away, it is elevating it!

Which is why we get some assholes like The Joker.

Joker
He also looks like a midnight toker.

The Joker’s back story is very simple one. He doesn’t have one. He has no other known aliases that could be proven, and no one really knows why he acts the way he does. He is chaos incarnated, and follows a very loose definition of logic to acquire his goals. His goals being more or less the destruction/torment of the Batman, an equally crazy character in his eye. It is almost as if he won’t stop until the Batman stops.

Bane
Or if he is stopped? If Ledger didn’t die, this could totally be some nice foreshadowing.

But fuck this crime shit. There is a new sheriff in town, Harvey Dent, the white knight gotham needs to legally bring the criminals to Justice. He is also now dating Rachel, Batman’s former gal, who apparently changed her look completely when breaking up with Bruce.

But that Joker is causing lots of damn problems. Not to mention huge outcries against the Batman for being a vigilante. Coupled with an attack on some high profile players and not-yet-commissioner Gordon, the Joker demand that Batman give himself up to save the city. Dent realizes that it would be bad if that happens and pretends to be Batman instead as a trap for the Joker.

TWoface
He is such a fucking swell guy. High in morals too.

The trap is set, and the Joker is caught. Or did he allow himself to get caught?

He did. During it he arranged for the kidnapping of Dent and Rachel, and set it up so that only one could be saved by Batman, and the other dying in an explosion. In a very tense and lovely moment as they talk on the phone, we are teased horribly with Dent falling on the side and laying in the oil. But the Batman saves him, fuck! Oh well. Still gets his face all fucked up.

AMC
And AMC still wouldn’t let him join The Walking Dead.

More ultimatums issues by the joker. Have the town kill an innocent man, or else he will blow up a hospital. More chaos is caused, including people evacuating the city. The police get the bright idea of putting all the prisoners on a boat into the water, because they don’t want a repeat of what the Scarecrow did. The rich people also evacuate on a nice cruiser.

Haha! Another plot point expected by the Joker. Both vessels are armed with explosives, and the detonators for them are on each others boat. If one boat doesn’t detonate the other boat, they both will explode at midnight. Will the rich kill the prisoners, will the prisoners kill the rich?

Prisoner's Dilemma
“This is quite a dilemma, we, the prisoners, face.” – Big guy.

Through questionable motives, The Batman is able to find the Joker and tie him up once and for all! But too bad he has already convinced Harvey Dent (Two-Face) that life sucks, and he should kill people. Using the power of coin technology to determine life or death, he decides to go after all of those who set up Rachel’s death, thinking the Joker could not have been involved.

Through some tossing and turning, Batman stops him too at the cost of Two-Face’s life, making it the first time he has killed someone. Batman and Commissioner Gordon agree that Batman take the blame for what Dent did, so that Dent can die a hero and provide hope for Gotham, while Batman will go on the run, and be a “villain” for the city to unite together.

Cells
Morgan Freeman is also in here as Lucius Fox again, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and really really hates unethical ways of stopping crime.

Alfred is still in this movie too, of course, because being a Butler is bananas.

Why the fuck did you not give this a 4/4?

Well part of my giving a movie a 4 out of 4 is the longing to watch it again sometime in the future and to make sure everyone sees it. Hellboy II, which came out to theaters a week before The Dark Knight, I gave a 4 out of 4. Counting the theater watch, I have seen that movie probably 7 times since. That is a lot, I really love that movie. How many times have I seen The Dark Knight?

Just two. Theaters, and last weekend on Blu-Ray. I definitely bought it the week it came out, just never watched it again until now.

But that doesn’t explain why I didn’t love it.

The film had a lot of hype thanks to the death of Heath Ledger. So much that he was being promised a best supporting actor Oscar before most people even saw the movie. Annoying fanboys is not a reason to hate a movie though. While Ledger was pretty damn awesome, I have never found the Joker character compelling or in general a great story line feature. I find him hard to grok, and that is part of the point. He is supposed to not make any sense and be complete chaos.

One of the most interesting stories throughout history though has always been the tragedy. Starting in Ancient Greece, the Tragedies always featured the same thing. No one cares if some random guy gets down on his luck, the fall isn’t great enough. People only care when someone on top of the world and is seemingly powerful loses everything and falls from the good grace. Like a King, or maybe a District Attorney who is living a fabulous life.

comic origins

Despite his kind of weak origins, the comic storyline of Two-Face (ahh referencing the books the movie is based on! I am horrible! :/ ) is one of the best out there. A highly moral character who wanted to rid the streets of crime and did it all within the law to persecute criminals. But when the Justice system kept failing him, he began to crack. People need to be punished, and it isn’t working out. Then some other unfortunate things happen, like losing his loved ones (possibly at Batman’s fault) and the whole face scarring incident.

Dent’s fall from the top turns him into Two-Face, a man who believes there is no right or wrong left in the world, that Karma is a farce and everything that ever happens is always a random chance. Why not determine life or death with a simple coin flip? This way he can try to get back at those who has wronged him (other criminals, people in the justice system, and Crime) and do it the only “fair” way that must be left.

But his story was overshadowed by The Joker’s and mostly swept under the rug until the end. Having him die, while symbolic, was definitely a weird way to take the Batman franchise in. I really think I would have loved it a bit more if they dug a little bit deeper into Two-Faces actions at the end. It seemed kind of weak how the Joker convinced him to go after the people that he did, but I guess we have to believe it as a man who has given up all hope and purpose for life.

But despite all this, seriously, who isn’t excited for some Dark Knight Rises?

PG-13
Despite the PG-13 rating, I think there is still a 90% chance of seeing a naked Anne Hathaway.

3 out of 4.