Soul Surfer

Jesus. I mean really, Jesus. This film is super Christian based, and I had no idea. Putting the Soul in Soul Surfer.I was just hoping for cool surfing, shark attacks, and creepy one armed women. Sounds like a horror right? Thankfully this movie has Kevin Sorbo in it. Who doesn’t love Hercules? Even if he is going Hawaiian Shirt on you.

No one doesn’t love Hercules

Unfortunately this movie also has Carrie Underwood in it, as her first real role in anything. She plays a Christian pastor thing, and it is pretty obvious she isn’t a real actress. All she seems to do is guilt trip miss surfer. Who played the Violet Beauregarde character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Now that’s creepy.

Maybe AnnaSophia Robb just plays winners.

This movie definitely focused a lot less on sharks and more on Christianity. Like, the scene with the shark is super quick. He bites and leaves. Rude. Doesn’t even want to snuggle. It also took forever. It kept teasing you knowing that you knew it was coming. But it kept not happening. Seriously, not only was this movie just secretly a pro Jesus movie, it is also kind of boring.

Sure this is a true story. But there is no way the rival surfer girl is as bitchy as the one in this movie. There is also no way her parents are as cool as Helen Hunt and Dennis Quaid.

Wait a minute. Jesus? Sharks? Violet Beauregarde? Kevin Sorbo in a Hawaiian T-Shirt? Carrie Underwood trying to act? Maybe this was a horror. That would explain it. I don’t like horrors.