Oh damn it. Oh what the fuck. Damn this movie. Not saying it was /bad/ but if anything to me it was completely unsatisfying. This is a trail about the old west, group of people traveling in like, three wagons. They get pseudo lost (taking a shortcut or “cutoff” from their guide Meek) and there is not much water. Just hot. Just desert like. It actually took 7 minutes for a word to be spoken in the movie. I almost stopped after 25 minutes to just disinterest (I know, shocking).
Fucking A. No one even got Dysentery in the movie.
But I read that they get kinda lost and stranded, some people freak out, find an Indian who may be friend or foe (they were raised to assume foe) and what to do about him. I could barely tell they were even lost until the Indian showed up, after like, 48 minutes or so. That was the most interesting part. One woman kept freaking out that he was leaving notes behind to be found and saved and everyone killed. Aside from that, the biggest other problem seemed to be moving their wagons down some slope. Because if they went fast they’d probably crash and break. Oh man, shitty made wagons. Don’t you hate that?
Little bit after that, they find a dying tree. They don’t know what to do, keep going or turn around. And then a little bit later, it ends. Do they make it out? Probably. Who else would tell their tale? But just god. Thanks for letting me know how FUCKING DULL traveling to the west was. If I lived back in 1820 I’d have stayed in Boston or something all my life, fo sho. The only reason I didn’t give it a 0 is because the scenery was well done.
1 out of 4.