Dark Tide

Damn it, Halle Berry.

Berry what
Maybe I should blame the director who has some ocean fetish?

Either way, fuck everyone involved with this trash.

I knew the movie Dark Tide was about Halle Berry and sharks and that’s about it. Another movie that sounds to be a recipe for excitement and thrills. But it isn’t.

Berry’s character used to swim with sharks and “Study” them. No real science, just the observation part. But at some point a tragic accident happened and her mentor died in the sea. Well, this caused a lot of tension, and she broke up with her boyfriend, Oliver Martinez.

A year later she is just doing boat tours, afraid of sharks now. Her old boyfriend pops back up, and is all, heyyy lets make money. They need it badly. In comes a millionaire who wants to buy cool things for him an his son to do, Ralph Brown. Like a all rich people, he is immediately shown to be a bad guy in the film for wanting to do something cool.

She agrees, but only with cages, no free swimming with the great whites. But he says bump that, and leaves the cage anyways, making almost danger. As it gets later at night, and the waves get crazy for a storm, a lot more arguing happens, and Berry gets all “rawr” and says LETS GO BACK OUT.

So they do. And shit goes wrong. Boat capsizes. Some people die, and all around clusterfuck.

Berry boobs
I’m sorry guys. Here is another picture of Halle Berry in a bikini top.

This movie is almost two hours long. I paused it halfway through, shocked that it was no where close to being done, and went to sleep. That is how boring it was. The beginning was also confusing, and I think they were shownig stuff out of order, or shots that had nothing to do with Halle Berry’s boat.

There are attacks in the film that happen…to other people. I guess to try and keep it interesting? Weird direction to go, since the first 80 minutes seem to be them saying that sharks aren’t dangerous to humans, but they keep showing the contrary.

The only “exciting” part happens near the end, but it is at night, so hard to tell what is going on, and most people are wearing full wet suits and not talking (under water) so hard to tell who is doing what. When the boat capsized, I had no idea who got stuck in it and drowned. Really, no idea.

But the shitty ending isn’t the worse part, it is definitely everything before it. A “serious” movie that seems to have about 5 minutes of real drama stretched throughout the film. SO. FUCKING. BORING.

I am kind of afraid to watch any movie about the ocean now, just because of how dull these movies are being made about them. This film offers nothing in terms of entertainment value for two hours of your life.

0 out of 4.

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