Month: April 2024

Cinderella’s Revenge was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 26th, 2024. You can see an interview I had with the lead actress Lauren Staerck, here.

What if Cinderella (Lauren Staerck) decided to go and like, kill? You know, get some revenge? Revenge against her step-sisters (Beatrice Fletcher, Megan Purvis) and step-mother (Stephanie Lodge). Ideally, she should have a good reason to go on a murder spree. Something bigger than chores and not getting to go to parties.

So in this story, Cinderlla’s father was murdered! And the step-mother was involved in the process. Now, pretend the rest of the story is the same for a bit. Except, when we get to the ball and fairy godmother (Natasha Henstridge) scene, Cinderella still gets a dress and a carriage. But instead of a regular dress, the fairy godmother brings in people like Tom Ford from the future, to design it. Not played by real Tom Ford, no. And what about her carriage? Well, its an electric vehicle, driven by Elon Musk of course. Because, and I quote, “Whenever you need a stylish mode of transportation that’s good for the environment, he’s your man.”

What?? Of course it should be noted that there are no cars in this time period, so, its certainly magic. But…also what?

Anyways, eventually, the prince ball scene happens, the step sisters foot cuttings happen, but it isn’t enough and they want to stop Cinderella. So eventually she gets like, a magical mask that lets her kill people to get revenge. Yep.

Also starring Darrell Griggs, Mike Kelson, and Ricardo Freitas.

The makeup women had at that time period was something else. Okay, title alone, this seemed like one of those movies I never really normally waste my time with. Very low budget horror films, that are easy to make and churn out. I do my best to ignore them, I do. But this one I felt like doing the interview, and still giving the movie a try. But honestly, I should also trust my gut more. I have so much of it.

The best part of the movie was the intro, but it inexplicably was just like a lyrics video to the song Cinderella Snapped by Jax. Like, literally, it was graphics and words on the screen, doing the first verse and chorus. And then when Cinderella Snapped happened at the end of the chorus, Cinderella’s Revenge popped onto the screen. Does that mean we have a big pop-rock soundtrack for the film? No, that was the only one. And that started the film, so it was all downhill from there.

First, it is so absurd of them to still do the entire Cinderella plot line, but then put a little bit before hand to make it different, and still have the last third of the film or more to be the “oh yeah, this is a horror film so we need killing” part of it. Why wasn’t it better incorporated into the whole film and normal story? I couldn’t say.

This film randomly has two sex scenes as well, I guess, for the small chance that would help get viewers.

But really what kills me, as you may have guessed already, is the weird fairy godmother, future people nonsense of it. It wasn’t funny to have these people in it. It was down right uncomfortable to even have anyone worshipping Elon Musk at this point. All of this made the film just feel like…well, a joke. And maybe they were going for comedic parts of this horror overall. Or some “hah we are so silly” moments. But turning Cinderella into a horror film shouldn’t actually be that difficult. You can tell the normal story, with a lot added into it to creepify it. But in this movie, it was like the normal story was just that, normal. They tagged on the silly fairy stuff. And then before and after the story some murder.

It reminds me of how uncomfortable I felt reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Badly mashed together concepts that would both be better suited on their own.

I’d say I don’t recommend the movie, but, I can’t imagine anyone finds this on their own anyways.

0 out of 4.

Preconceived was watched as part of Cascadia International Women’s Film Festival 2024! It had its showing on Saturday, April 27th as part of the festival.

We here at Gorgon Reviews love making sure I have time to review any and all documentaries about abortions, and how hard they can be to acquire in the United States. Also, we here at Gorgon Reviews, hate that we have to do reviews on this topic. We would love to stop, but the problems haven’t been fixed yet, so here we are, again.

In the documentary, we are actually looking at Crisis Pregnancy Centers. Now, this is something that was covered by John Oliver before in his show. A fun thing that I often do during his show is to look up the documentaries he references and potentially watch them. This is the first time I have seen a documentary that spends a moment to acknowledge John Oliver’s show.

A Crisis Pregnancy Center is like an abortion clinic, except that it doesn’t offer ever abortions. In fact, its entire purpose seems to exist to convince people to NOT get an abortion. To fabricate the things that must be done before an abortion could take place. To lie about what was allowed. To present untrue facts about the fetus, how far along the patient was, and to make sure they just did not get an abortion at all costs. Surely enough, these things are funded strongly through America’s churches and Republican organizations.

Their entire existence, I want to reiterate, is about preventing people from getting abortion access, through tricks and deceit. Trainings on how to talk to people out of it, to string them along, how to get “clients” away from an actual clinic, including making sure they appear at the top of Google search results.

Yeah, these places suck.

I normally see billboards with the opposite messages, unfortunately.

It is really easy (I imagine, I just review stuff) to make a documentary about a subject and say “Gee Whiz, this thing STINKS!” You can interview everyone who agrees with you, throw in some news stories and B-roll footage, and be done. What I was more surprised about is how many people who work in, work for, or work with, these crisis pregnancy centers who are a part of this documentary too. I worry about deceitful tactics to get them to sign on board. But, presumably all of their arguments for why they should exist, and why they are doing this, are given verbatim and they are giving time for “their side.”

They got the president of Heartbeat International, a pro-life group, to spread his organizations goals and methods and they aren’t ashamed of these things. They are proud of it.

The documentary obviously does a great job of making its arguments and hopefully highlighting how so many women get tricked into spending extra funds, or having kids, they never wanted or planned to. With the overturn of Roe v. Wade, the centers haven’t stopped, they have amplified and feel like they are winning and that their message is important. This documentary is one that is meant to be seen as awareness to a topic, because, people cannot be tricked by something, if they know it is out there. The centers rely entirely on people assuming they are also abortion clinics, but that the abortion won’t be right for *that client* for whatever reason.

Watch it, get informed, and donate to your local Planned Parenthood or similar organization.

4 out of 4.

Waapake (Tomorrow) was watched as part of Cascadia International Women’s Film Festival 2024! It had its U.S. Premiere on Thursday, April 25th as part of the festival.

In case you did not know, there used to be a policy in the United States, as part of the treaty signings, that indigenous communities would agree to have their children be assimilated into United States “culture” through their schools. Notably, this was ALSO TRUE IN CANADA. In fact, this documentary is dealing with Canadian indigenous families. Of course, as part of these signed treaties, the sides were never on equal grounds, and these native groups were almost always forced to do it, or else. But even then, it is doubtful that those communities understood exactly what that clause would mean.

Which was of course, children being taken from their homes, and often sent to boarding schools. Not just any boarding schools, ones often FAR from where they actually lived. Schools that had little to no accountability and were seemingly encouraged to belittle and even beat these kids into conformity. To make it so that these kids would only have this new countries culture, whatever that means. A lot of students who were taken were changed alright, and generally for the worse. Depression, drug addictions, anxiety, and even suicide were common. They were put into situations away from their families and had no support system.

This documentary is about those people, a little bit. But even more notable, it is about the generation of people that came after. So the people interviewed for this piece are sons, daughters, and grandsons/granddaughters of survivors from these schools. About how their older relative has been negatively harmed, how it has affected their current lives, and more importantly, how they can potentially heal from this to have a stronger tomorrow.

This is how you can know it was made in Canada, by the way.

It is hard to talk about this just on the Canadian level, because we know these sorts of things happened in the US as well. But Canada has been more in the news for it lately, given they had various burial sites found outside of some of these schools, with many dozens of bodies, all in a large unmarked grade. A lot of shady shit happened at these schools. Awful things. Abuse. More. But as the documentary put it, generational trauma is an important thing to acknowledge and point out, but generational healing can also occur.

This is not to wash away the crimes of the past. But that is why this documentary brought in the various stories, of the offspring of survivors, to note their similar upbringings and the negative harms that came out of it. But it is very uplifting at the same time, with their statements about how they will make sure they fix certain issues, so that their own children do not have to go through it again. They want to break the cycle, and part of that comes through talking about it.

WaaPaKe is a powerful documentary, a stronger documentary if you go in already know about the schooling atrocities for indigenous groups in the past. It is also stronger knowing this was made by a Canadian native, involving her own story, her families, and others to put this piece together. After all, these stories are horrifying, but often still the human, personal element, can be missing. These types of documentaries make it more personal, and really puts the important aspects out there.

3 out of 4.

Pure O was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 12th, 2024. You can see an interview I had with Dillon Tucker, the director, here.

Cooper (Daniel Dorr) is straight up not having a good time right now. He thinks about death, too much. He thinks about killing, too much. He is in a huge depressive funk and can’t seem to snap out of it, even when recently engaged to his long term girlfriend, Emily (Hope Lauren). But when talking to his therapist (Candice Renee) about his issues, she lets him know he has OCD.

But how can this be? He doesn’t have nervous tics, he doesn’t repeat steps, he has heard of OCD before, and that isn’t him, it is just depression. A big part of it is experiencing distressing intrusive thoughts, without the compulsions. It can be categorized into specific categories of types of intrusive thoughts, but it all comes back to OCD, and is known as Pure O in the community.

Cooper, a musician, and a rehab counselor himself, really doesn’t think it is possible, but after his googling and research, he agrees to try to work on this aspect, to see if he can fix himself, to fix his relationships, and hopefully live a life free from the harms inside his brain. He knows addictions, he knows the right things to say to others, but following that advice can prove to be difficult.

Also starring Landry Bender, Jeffery A. Baker, Clint James, Hamish Patterson, and Isaac Nippert.

I bet when he stares this way at women, they also receive a Pure O.One of those things that really bugs me is when people say they are OCD about a task, completely belittling the experiences of those who have actual forms of OCD. Does that affect this movie? Absolutely not. But bringing up how fucked up that is in any circumstance is appropriate, so that maybe someone can learn to not do that. And if it is going to happen in a movie review, why not one that deals with OCD.

Now the director, Dillon Tucker, who is also the writer, made this movie purely because it was personal to him, and telling a story about his own life, and being diagnosed with OCD. It is his story, he just doesn’t also star in it (although he did cameo as a random person also in the therapy groups).  And you can tell it was made by someone who really knew the story, because of all of the unexpected things added to the story. In an “OCD” story where someone is writing about it from a lack of personal experiences, it is the only part of the story. The rest of it doesn’t matter. But in this movie, it is the main framing of the story, but the main character still has to live his life. He happens to also be a counselor, and is still working with individuals dealing with addiction. He still has to plan a wedding and learn how to better himself for his fiancé.

And honestly, Pure O, with ITS honesty, just hits all the right notes for a powerful drama. It tells a still unexpected story, that is meant to really help others through their own worries and providing some therapeutic moments on the screen for them to see. But also when it comes to ones disabilities, the more people are aware how it can affect their life, and be a constant grating pressure at all moments, might just help people stop being such assholes to each other.

This film has several intense moments. Notably a knife scene, and another character having a meltdown, but they are played so serious and so well done that it is emotionally touching for the viewer.

Off the top of my head, I know I have seen films about OCD before, but I can’t think of them right now. Because Pure O is the right one to see.

3 out of 4.

Sting was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 12th, 2024.

I HATE SPIDERS. Let’s get that out of the way.

Sting, is of course, not about a bee, but about a spider. And it is about a little apartment complex.

You see, Ethan (Ryan Corr) lives with his family in an okay apartment. Ethan makes comics and is also the building superintendent. He is a fixit man. His step daughter, Charlotte (Alyla Browne) doesn’t like him as much as her dad, who she hasn’t seen in forever. Even though he has made great attempts to be closer to her. Because they are so familiar with the complex, Charlotte likes to go in through the very large air ducts around the building, to see and discover.

And that is where she finds a little tiny egg that crashed in through the window, that she knows nothing about. What a cool egg. Time to keep it and put it in a jar. Oh, and in the jar it hatches into a spider? Cute. A really smart spider at that. One that seems to be very strong and capable. One that seems to grow very very fast, but enjoys Charlotte’s company.

Anyways, long story short, that thing gets super big and starts to take out the members of this apartment complex and get even bigger. It’s like Audrey II! And now that it has turned itself on her family and Charlotte herself, so Charlotte is going to have to kill her new friend Sting. Or you know, die.

Also starring Jermaine Fowler, Noni Hazlehurst, Penelope Mitchell, Robyn Nevin, and Silvia Colloca.

Whenever I see a spider on my ceiling, I leave the city. I HATE SPIDERS! Okay, figured I would remind you of that. I am surprised that spider films aren’t much more common. I feel like random other killer bugs get a lot of horror films, but spiders, barely? We had famously things like Arachnophobia and Eight Legged Freaks. Not really any I could think of that were mainstream. There is another independent film out from France, called Infested, that I haven’t had a chance to see yet.

So why does Sting work? Well, first of all, we get a nice alien spider thing, not just a normal spider, so there is a reason for it all happening. We get a very limited space for it to run around in, and apparently the world’s biggest air ducts (perfect for any movie of course). Which is also perfect for a giant spider to lay traps. And a slight family story to keep the plot more than just a survival flick.

My biggest complaint from the film is just the introduction, which featured a scene that happened LATE in the narrative of the film overall, providing a different point of view of later events. But it made it a little confusing since no other aspect it told out of order, so I was led to believe that we already had a giant spider running around. It was the type of scene that felt like its own strange short film, could have stood on its own as a 5-6 minute easily. But it was just unnecessarily placed at the start, maybe to catch our interest? Like the first 5 seconds of shitty trailers on YouTube.

I really enjoyed Corr as the step-dad. He had good beard energy that all dads and stepdads need. Also Browne, our real main character kid actress, was a certifiable badass. Imagine being a kid wanting a spider to crawl around your hands. Couldn’t be me.

Overall, Sting had a lot of fresh new energy to the Spider-horror genre, which as noted, is already severely lacking. It reminds me of The Purge. It is like a home invasion story, but different. There is a spider.

3 out of 4.