Month: January 2016

War Room

If 2014 was the year of Biblical themed cinema, 2015 was…not. It went from like five big releases to really just one. Just War Room. And with a name like War Room, it doesn’t even sound like a hardcore religious film (but it issss).

War Room is done by the same director as Fireproof, Facing the Giants, and Courageous. Alex Kendrick, who also writes and stars in these movies usually. It is his company and damn it, he will make religious movies if he wants to. His only real role outside of his own movies was a brief role in Moms’ Night Out, which was of course terrible.

I guess I should admit that I only even know of War Room because it surprisingly came out of nowhere and won the box office a week or two. Yes, it was during a weaker movie time, but also it just proves Christians will just go and see anything in theaters if it is for them. Good way to make sweet sweet cash.

Table
“You can’t fight in here! This is the war room!”

Liz (Priscilla C. Shirer) and Tony (T.C. Stallings) are having a bit of a rough marriage. Sure, they have a daughter, Danielle (Alena Pitts), who is middle school aged or so, but it has gone down hill from there.

Liz is a real estate agent, and Tony is a pharmaceutical rep. That means that Tony travels all the time and is super aggressive/a dick. He makes a shit ton more money, allowing them to have the nice and fancy house. But you know, he is a dick. He is barely in his daughter’s life and he is controlling over Liz. But they used to love each other. It used to be better.

And thankfully Miss Clara (Karen Abercrombie) has all the answers. No, she is not Miss Cleo. That is Devil shit. This is just an old lady who is trying to sell her house. Clara likes to get to the realtor and quickly finds out that there is trouble at Liz’s home. She also finds out that they rarely go to church, oh no!

The solution is simple, more Jesus, and their relationship will be saved. She needs to devote a prayer room in her house, void of all material things, where she can be shut in and talk with God. She can hang prayers up and just pray the fuck out of them. This will fix her marriage. This will make her man love her and not maybe cheat. They will go to war for Jesus in this room, against the devil. A war/prayer room. War room.

Also featuring a smaller role by a guy named Michael Jr., which is apparently his last name.

Old
You don’t have to only pray hard in your war room either. You could also use your kitchen, for example.

So yes, I watched this movie now expecting it to make the worst of the year list for me. But it didn’t. It isn’t good, no, but it isn’t downright terrible on every front. It isn’t God’s Not Dead.

Spoilers: Yes their marriage is saved. He doesn’t cheat because he gets sick at a dinner, which is apparently God’s doing. Then he gets fired and is forced to spend time with his family. Did you know that the climax of the movie takes place at a Double Dutch tournament? There is originality in that, if nothing else.

There were a few absurd moments that made me think it was going to be God’s Not Dead bad. A mugging prevented by the power of Jesus. A part where Liz runs around her house yelling that the devil must leave, then running outside to scream some more. That was all very shit cinema. But most of the rest of the film is just regular bad, not terra-bad.

The acting is weak, the plot lines are weak, but it can be easy to make fun of while watching. Heck, there might even have been a reference to Se7en in this movie. It is super out of context and not true, but the quote fits dang it.

Don’t watch War Room if you want super terrible Christian Films. Just be happy that we will get God’s Not Dead 2 this year.

1 out of 4.

Concussion

Head injuries are serious things. Because your brain is your most important organ. You can’t survive without your brain, so things that hurt your brain are literally the worse. And vague things like concussions become scary nightmares.

These may sound like facts, but that is because your brain is telling you they are. If you asked any organ what was the most important organ in a body, they would name themselves. What games are you playing, Brain? Making us do shit to appease you? I’m on to you.

So, Concussion. A film about head trauma and the NFL. The NFL supposedly didn’t like this movie to protect their players from hearing about the probably brain problems they may have in life. Yay controversy. It definitely sells tickets.

Science
Science used to sell tickets on its own merit.

Dr. Bennet Omalu (Will Smith) is a smart man, and you should most definitely listen to him. He has like, seven degrees, both PhD and masters levels. He is smarty smarty smart. And he is generally a coroner, finding out big mysteries as to why people die.

Omalu ends up getting quite a strange case in his current city of Pittsburgh. Mike Webster (David Morse) is a famous ex-center for the Steelers, loved by everyone in the city, and now he is dead. He was having some issues near the end, going a bit crazy, alienating his friends and family.

Needless to say, Omalu spends a lot of time figuring things out. His brain had deteriorated and no one could explain it. Eventually, science happens everywhere, and he determines it must be due to the thousands of small (And large) blows to his head. Blows accumulated through youth play, high school, college, over a decade in the NFL, and of course practices for all these things. He had tiny concussions and they lead to problems most people just described as early Alzheimer’s.

This is bad news for the NFL, so they ignore the crap out of his results, make him seem like a liar, and bury him in the media. Yay PR machines.

Also featuring Alec Baldwin, Albert Brooks, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Eddie Marsan, Mike O’Malley, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, and Luke Wilson.

Doctor
He is making that face because Luke Wilson is playing Roger Goodell.

Speaking of selling tickets, to promote this movie, Columbia promised free tickets to any NFL players who wanted to see it in theaters. After all, they have a lot of twitter and instagram followers, so that is free press. I have two problems with that. One, NFL players make shit tons of money, even the bench riders. They can afford a movie ticket. And two, they should have offered it to High School or College players, people who make no money from the sport and are young enough to get out of it if they are truly worried about saving lives with this film. Columbia went for the cheap and shit route.

Now, the good news about this movie is that Will Smith actually acts. He isn’t just playing a cool version of himself or an action version of himself. He is playing a foreign (African) doctor, who doesn’t care about football or American things, just science. It was great to watch him actually try after seeing Focus and v.

Unfortunately, the rest of the movie fails to live up to its subject matter or potential. According to news reports, the NFL was involved heavily in the editing of this film. The filmmakers didn’t have rights to NFL press reports or team names/logos, or any of that. In order to make it seem more realistic, they wanted all this in the film. So they had to offer concessions and leave parts out in order to get the logos. So the NFL helped make this film and now they don’t get attacked as hard.

Do they still look bad? Sure, but they come across as unrealistic cartoon villains, not actual bad real live people. The film doesn’t go strong on the science, strong on the PR campaign, strong on anything but Smith’s accent. And now we are left with a mostly boring and pointless film that won’t change anyone’s minds when they are facing potential millions.

1 out of 4.

Best Films of 2015

This year, I am doing the best first! Mostly because, miraculously, I have seen everything that might make this list already, decently early. My worst list might be a few weeks, as I have been avoiding some of the worse films for my own sanity.

I had a lot of movies that I really liked this year too. And unlike the worst list, everything on this list I gave a 4 out of 4 too. This is the cream of the crop. As a side note, here are some critically acclaimed movies I did not see yet: Victoria, Son of Saul, The Diary of a Teenage Girl, and The Duke of Burgundy.

Honorable Mentions::The Hateful Eight, Love & Mercy, Everest, It Follows

15) Southpaw

“What is this? This is Southpaw, not Creed! How dare you!” First of all, you have no idea if Creed is going to show up (it isn’t) and second, yeah, I think Southpaw is the better movie.

I should reiterate that since my baby girl was born, my emotions have been all over the place. And so when bad things happen to families with young girls? They can get to me. If there is a long death scene with crying and screaming, I will be right there with it, bawling my eyes out.

To go with it, Jake Gyllenhaal is a great actor and he really gives it his all in this film. The fight scenes are exciting, the drama is tense, and I would say it is definitely the best boxing movie of 2015. Bring it on, haters.

Southpaw

14) Chi-Raq

Speaking of haters, boy golly, Spike Lee sure has a lot of them. I mean, some people have valid reasons. He has done stupid things in the past and has strong opinions based on movies that he may not have ever seen. But just because he may be an opinionated asshole does not mean that he cannot make good films.

Fuck. Everyone knows Lee can make good films. Outside of the recent Oldboy remake, he has had a pretty dang good track record as a director. Chi-Raq is not an exception and is one of the more unique and entertaining films of they year. I love Greek plays, so the idea of doing a modern version of an already scandalous and potentially offensive play is ballsy. Turning most of the films dialogue into poetic rhymes? Ballsy. Making a movie about solving gang violence with sex? Very very ballsy.

Lee has balls. And his balls paid off with Chi-Raq.

Chi-Raq

13) Infinitely Polar Bear

Good news Mark Ruffalo fans! Infinitely Polar Bear is not the only movie on this list with Ruffalo. I will say there is only one more with his cheesy face and he acts the most eccentric in this film.

To me, this movie was about better understanding bipolar disorder, and to watch Ruffalo act his ass off. He was all over the place, but it worked for the film and it was touching and warm. It is one of the first times in a few years where Zoe Saldana didn’t detract from the plot, but actually helped! Given that two of the main stars are teenage and pre-teen girls, the film is able to keep you on the edge of your seat as almost every character has the potentially to suddenly not act as you would expect. Emotions are all over the place and the best part is that it just makes sense.

And fuck, it probably has the best title on this list at least.

Infinitely Polar Bear

12) Mad Max: Fury Road

Let it be known, if I kept to a standard top ten list, Mad Max: Fury Road would have not made it on this list. That sounds like I am reluctant to praise the film, even though I did enjoy it. It is just a film that has been circle jerked on the internet to death, so it can get a tad annoying.

Fury Road is good. The action is intense and barely stops. Tom Hardy gives one of his many amazing acting performances of the year. Charlize Theron does a good job as well.

Top notch visuals and stunts really drive home the insanity of the universe George Miller created.

Mad Max: Fury Road

11) Straight Outta Compton

Straight Outta Compton ends up with the status of being the best musical Biopic of the year. Sorry Love & Mercy, but you were still close.

I think part of the reason I enjoyed this film so much is that I actually learned a lot through it. I had heard some of the songs and band members before, but I didn’t know how they got started or how they got famous outside of the group. I didn’t know about all the arguments or how other famous rappers came into the picture. It was probably the best way a young white person could ever remotely begin to understand any of it.

And you know what else? It almost made me cry. It almost made me cry three times. Which is technically a stark difference to the next film.

Straight Outta Compton

10)Inside Out

Oh Inside Out, how much I love you.

When I saw this in theaters, I cried three whole times. And one of those three times was during the animated short Lava (which won’t be nominated for any awards, what the hell?!). Given its subject matter of emotions, it is so wonder that the film can make people feel so emotional. It appeals to kids and adults, with old movie references and simple slapstick humor. Hell, even one part gets insanely psychological, but the kids would just write the scene off as weird and not miss a beat.

It is important to note that Inside Out is my only animated film on the list, so it is the obvious pick from me to win Best Animated Film. I think it is no contest. Maybe Shaun the Sheep could be an extreme dark horse.

Inside Out

9) Sicario

Oh Sicario, I feel bad for you Sicario.

Sicario is twisted and beautiful. It is well acted and emotion inducing. It is realistic and sad. It is scary and thrilling. It is so much and more. Well, not a comedy.

After watching Sicario, I knew I had seen something special. I knew it would be nominated for Best Cinematography and Best Supporting Actor for Bencio Del Toro. But now, suddenly, there is no award love at all. At the same time, it isn’t even that far down my list.

This was a hard list to compile, and like other films, I found myself surprised at how “low” certain films ranked, this being one of them. But I loved a lot of movies this year, and Sicario may end up being forgotten like the majority of films this year. So sad, but at least it is the highest thriller on my list this year. It is something!

Sicario

8) Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

I first saw Me and Earl and the Dying Girl back in April and I loved the piss out of it. At that point it was my favorite film of the year and it stayed there for months. Like, literally until September when more good movies started coming out.

And yeah, sure, it fell a few spots, but it is still on the list and still in the top ten.

This movie is about quirky people who love movies and full of awkward conversations between teenagers. Your basic indie bread and butter. But it is also funny, well acted, and a bit unexpected. Did I cry? I just might have. That was a long time ago. But it is the type of movie I want to own and put with my other weird films to show how cool and unique I am.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

7) The Last Five Years

The addition of The Last Five Years on the list should end up being my most shocking. I don’t know if anyone put this film on their top of the year list, let alone do I know how many reviewers actually saw it. It was released limited on Valentine’s Day with an immediate VOD, and then out to buy only a month or two later. I remember the day it came out the Blu-Ray was only $7, which was a steal! It clearly just was ignored by most of the population.

And 2015 was a terrible year for musicals, but the only two shining stars both featured Anna Kendrick. The other being a sequel, not as good as the first.

I don’t even know where to start with The Last Five Years. It only has really two characters and it is told out of chronological order. The female POV is backwards, the male is forwards. The relationship jumps back and forth from bad to good and you know it won’t end well thanks to the very first song. The music is haunting and not pop musical shit. Choruses exist, but they are rare and change up. Many of the notes get belted and are just hard to sing along with, showing dedication to the words chosen.

After I watched it on my computer, I immediately had to re listen to the whole soundtrack, just to go through the emotions again. This is obviously the only musical on the list this year, and I hope 2016 also has some surprises in store.

The Last Five Years

6) The Martian

Science, science, science!

Let it be known that I feel really bad placing The Martian at only number 6 on this list, given how happy and excited it made me feel. Hell, I read the book right after watching the movie. That is how much I liked this film. Then I did that thing where I remembered I technically love all the films on this list, and that 6th is still pretty damn good. And I couldn’t figure out what films to pull back from the top five. Reality sucks.

But thankfully reality has Matt Damon in it to make everything feel that much better. The Martian is the best pro-science, pro-NASA thing to ever exist since the actual moon landing. Yes, it is a film, but it is a film a lot of people had seen and it is pretty accurate on the science front.

And it is entertaining yeah. It is funny, and scary at points. And they made a Lord of the Rings reference. That is automatically cool points, right?

The Martian

5) Spotlight

I told you Ruffalo fans he’d be back. I hope you weren’t assuming it was Avengers: Age of Ultron.

Spotlight is the front runner to win Best Picture for the Oscars and a slew of other awards. And you know what? It totally deserves all of its praise.

Spotlight isn’t about one person giving the acting performance of a lifetime, it is a group of people coming together to give a real performance about real events. It is informative and lets you realize how hard investigative journalism can be. It shows how every cog is important in the machine. No one will be nominated for anything outside of supporting roles, because not even Michael Keaton is the “true” star. Sure he is the easiest to put in that position, but it definitely feels like something more than one individual.

Spotlight is a wonderful film that decided to get details right and tell the truth. Sure, this was all 14 years ago, but like most scandals, the people really only heard the headlines and not the details and specifics. I won’t be mad if Spotlight wins Best Picture, I just personally found four movies this year to be a bit better.

Spotlight

4) Steve Jobs

Sure, after reading my Spotlight blurb, you might find this and the next few placements a bit strange. After all, unlike Spotlight, they are most known for incredible acting performances. But I’d argue they have more than that, they have the whole package as well. This is true for all movies on the list as I gave them all perfect scores.

But let’s talk about Steve Jobs. No not fucking Jobs, that movie was technically bad despite above average acting from Ashton Kutcher. Steve Jobs features one of two incredible acting performances from Michael Fassbender this year, with the other being Macbeth. Unlike Macbeth, you can actually understand this whole movie and the dialogue is the strong point, not the weak point.

Some people may not like Aaron Sorkin‘s writing style of quick rapid fire banter, but those people just have to accept being wrong. The film is like an orchaestra and a war zone of words, displaying in full glory the asshole that Jobs was to his friends, family, and coworkers. And even though every aspect of this film and almost every camera angle is directed at Fassbender, the supporting actors also give top notch performances, especially Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen, and Jeff Daniels.

This biography, that includes fictionalized events, gets to the hearts of the real people involved and truly showcases human emotion.

Steve Jobs

3) The Revenant

The Revenant is a perfect storm of parts coming together to make a masterpiece.

First of all, the director is of course Alejandro González Iñárritu, who recently won Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Picture for Birdman. We have Leonardo DiCaprio, always the bridesmaid and never the bride when it comes to winning Best Actor. There is Tom Hardy, who had the acting year of his life, as you saw above and didn’t see above with Legend. And last but not least, Emmanuel Lubezki, who won Best Cinematography the last two years with Birdman and Gravity.

Yeah, they were going for something great. And thankfully, this 2.5 hour epic is something worthy and marvelous, especially on the big screen. Leo does a big part in this and I fully believe he deserves the Best Actor award this year. If not him, then look above at Fassbender. They are the only acceptable winners.

I hope Tom Hardy also gets some love as a support, but that category is stacked this year.

The Revenant is beautiful and a bit awe inspiring at times. It is truly a film created by people who take heart in their craft with every bit and piece working to perfection. It is a movie I worry won’t feel truly as amazing on my TV at home, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still one of the best of the year.

The Revenant

2) Room

Room is a hard film to describe and praise, but given its surprise position on this list, I guess I have to try.

I originally avoided Room just thinking it’d be some family romance movie from the cover alone. Of course I was wrong. It is a serious drama/thriller. In fact, the subject matter is so strong that those with especially weak hearts and given today’s culture, I am surprised that it wasn’t splattered with trigger warnings before the first scene.

Room features two very strong acting performances, not just from Brie Larson who is totally going to win Best Actress, but also from Jacob Tremblay, who plays the kid.

And since the movie is basically from his point of view, it allows the movie to remain vague on many of the harsher elements. This allows the viewer to fill in the blanks and jump to their own conclusions, without being spoon fed the answers. It assumes the audience is paying attention, which not a lot of films care about.

Room is a hard movie to sit through, but one that is worth it for all the great elements around it.

Room

1) The Big Short

I saw a trailer for The Big Short before Steve Jobs and didn’t care that much. But alas, people told me that it had Oscar buzz and it was supposed to be a big deal, so I reluctantly bought a matinee ticket two days before Christmas to check it out. And I was blown away.

Much like Spotlight, this movie involves a lot of actors working together to do some of their best work. The film’s biggest leads are Christian Bale and Steve Carell, and although they don’t meet in the film at all, their prescense is felt throughout it, especially Carell. It is well acted and based on a true story.

I can’t attest to how true the movie version is, but they call themselves out when they do something bullshitty, so it seems truthful. More importantly though is it takes a real, very confusing event that affected the entire world and did a pretty damn good job trying to explain it. It made me angry and pissed off at banks and was way more effective than what a documentary could have done. The Big Short makes me want to go out and change the world, so it left me with some of the strongest emotions of any film this year.

It might not be the big winner, but this year it is the big winner of my heart and mind.

The Big Short

And there you have it! The best of the best. Did I leave off anything you think should have been up here? Do you disagree with anything at all? Am I the stupidest person ever? Be sure to let me know and yell obscenities while doing it!

Few fun notes:

No super hero films made the list this year.
Only one animated film, last year had two.
Still only one musical like last year.
No straight horrors made the list this year, although there were a few thrillers.
And most likely my top movie this year will not win Best Picture like the last three before it.


The Hateful Eight

Quentin Tarantino is a crazy sunuvabitch.

He has passion, you gotta agree with that. He loves movies and wants movies to be real. Christopher Nolan and him are some of the only reasons film is even relevant anymore.

Tarantino had a lot of problems leading up to The Hateful Eight. Like when his script was leaked before they even began filming, causing him to cancel it completely. After awhile, he apparently changed some things and did it eventually.

He also wanted to film the whole thing on 70mm film, but barely anyone had a projector that could play it. So he decided to just provide free cameras to almost a hundred movie theaters across America, just so people everywhere could see his film in the vision he had in his mind. I can respect that, but I also think he is a single man on a mission to move a mounain. So we will see if his lunacy gets us anywhere. Until then. H8FULL8.

Snow
“Replace more parts of words with numbers, I dare you.”

Set a few years after the end of the Civil War, and thus, after Lincoln’s assassination, The Hateful Eight is about a group of would be killers, maybe killing each other.

Namely, John “The Hangman” Ruth (Kurt Russell), rocking the same facial hair he had in Bone Tomahawk, is bringing a bounty to Red Rock to get executed. Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is a very bad murderer and she has a $10,000 bounty on her head, dead or alive. Well, Ruth brings them in alive, because they deserve to have justice done to them. By hanging. Hanging justice. He is nicknamed The Hangman.

Unfortunately, they are currently racing against a mighty big blizzard and his driver, O.B. (James Park) is hoping to get him to Minnie’s Haberdashery before it hits so they can have a place to stay until it all melts. Along the way though, he runs into Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson), a bounty hunter with his own set of bodies heading to the same place. He is able to get a ride. But they also run into Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins), son a Rebel leader who claims he is going to be the new Sheriff of Red Rock!

But when they got to Minnie’s, Minnie wasn’t there. She apparently was away to visit relatives and left Señor Bob (Demir Bichir) was left in charge. Other patrons included Oswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth), a British literal Hangman, Joe Gage (Michael Madsen), a cow puncher visiting his mom, and General Sandy Smithers (Bruce Dern), from the Rebel side looking to bury his son.

Ruth thinks someone is lying. He thinks someone here is not who they say they are and looking to free Daisy and kill all the witnesses. People are lying, and now everyone might die because of it.

Also featuring some less hateful people, Dana Gourrier, Gene Jones, Zoë Bell, and Channing Tatum.

Roth
Tim Roth is actually just playing the real life Christoph Waltz.

The Hateful Eight feels like a play, and I love plays. It is definitely the best part of the film and it is why I might want to watch it over and over. The action is of course another big part, graphic and very violent once it gets going. Not as violent or crazy as his previous films, but it is still pretty up there.

The 70 mm version of the film, which is what this is based off of, did not feel too long at over 3 hours. It went quickly because there was rarely a dull moment. And hell, an intermission meant I could buy a drink and not torture myself for two hours refusing to leave my seat. The overture was a nice touch and of course the music throughout.

The film is tonally different over its two halves and I wasn’t as excited during the second half. The whole thing is set up as a mystery as to who is a liar and a cheat. Without spoiling, let’s just say the whole thing let me down. It was unexpected surely, but not in a good way. There were still some great acting moments in it, and some of the scenes were very tense, but damn, it just wasn’t that sexy of a reveal.

I cannot say for certain of the 70 mm actually added a lot to the film, it’d be hard to without seeing both versions. I believe the digital version is about 20 minutes shorter including the intermission, but I have no idea what they’d cut out of it.

Not Tarantino’s best work, and worst of his most recent films, but still quite memorable and worthy of multiple viewings.

3 out of 4.