Month: April 2014

Brick Mansions

I had a theory about this movie, Brick Mansion. I only saw like, half of the trailer once, and didn’t pay much attention to it. Basically looked like some awkward action movie with a lot of parkour, and of course, Paul Walker. Paul Walker, if you say it fast enough, sounds a bit like parkour too. COINCIDENCE? Yes.

Either way, without seeing it, I am pretty sure this movie wasn’t supposed to go to the theaters. It was going to be a made for DVD action movie and just get some sales from that. But you know, because one of the stars died, they could warrant making some more money off of it in theaters.

Kicking Brick
This picture sums up the whole movie. Fighting, bricks, and parkour.

DETROIT. This movie takes place in Detroit! Because where else would there be crime in the US? Like RoboCop, it takes place in the future, but unlike RoboCop it takes place in only 2018. So, we got only a few years before it happens I guess.

Basically, there is a housing unit that they made that became full of crime and corrupt. They called it the Brick Mansions unit. Eventually, they put up a wall around it with check points, keeping them in and most people out. They got rid of the police force, schools, hospitals everything, and that area of Detroit became a war zone.

Lino (David Belle), our parkour expert, is a good guy who wants to get all of the crime out of his home, one kilo of drugs at a time. He has a lot of enemies. Damien (Paul Walker), is a cop who is set to end all of the corruption out of Brick Mansions too. They have the same goal. Taking out Tremaine (RZA), one of the bigger drug leaders of the city.

And also he has gained a bomb and plans to use it if he doesn’t get paid. Huh, alright. Got a new real issue to deal with it looks like.

Gouchy Boy and Ayisha Issa play head lackies and Catalina Denis is the lady friend of Lino.

Licking Bricks
This picture tells absolutely nothing about the movie.

Well, unfortunately this movie went exactly as I thought it would go. Far too unoriginal and far too obvious. From the first scenes, you can plot out the rest of the film. Not always an issue, but when they are attempting to keep it as some what of a secret and a mystery over what people are doing, then it becomes pointless. Plot twists end up having no impact and we are left feeling bored.

It did have some cool action scenes, but not a lot. Mostly it was just fun to watch David Belle run around everywhere and escape and kick some faces in while doing it. This is basically just a mindless action movie with a lame plot unfortunately.

The beginning parkour scene was very interesting, but what ruined it for me was how the enemy with a very small force ended up always appearing before our hero. The one who was really good at escaping and leaped from building to building. But always a bad guy in his way? Are they secretly better at parkour and that explains why it was impossble to get away? Fuck that shit. Just attack with more enemies so then it is at least a bit more plausible.

Found out during the credits that Luc Beeson was involved. That is a bit odd minus the Lino character. Until I figured out that this is basically a secret American remake of a film he did 10 years ago called District B13. Man. Fuck that shit.

1 out of 4.

The Raid 2

Indonesia must be the most violent place on Earth.

At least it appears that way in movies. I have only seen two now that take place in there, The Raid: Redemption and its sequel, The Raid 2.

The Raid 2 is 150 minutes and a very significant portion of that is action heavy. This movie is definitely not for the faint of heart, as it is violent, gruesome, and just so dang fast. I know I have said that before, but this might be one of the most real examples.

WALLLLT
Things sure have gotten rough for Michael since Lost. Will he ever fine Walt?!

I probably should have watched The Raid again before watching this movie. I really don’t remember much of the plot, since the plot aspects actually were pretty poor in the first film. But this time? This time they want plot. The plot itself is more detailed, with quite a few more characters, some backstories, some personal issues and the like. I guess that is why the run time is so long, to fit all this extra plot in the film. Note: Plot is not the reason to watch this movie.

This takes place right after the plot of the first film. Rama (Iko Uwais) succesfully took down the tower, and is talking to the only supervisor he can trust, Bunawar (Cok Simbara). Well, Bunawar cleans up the leftover messes, despite Rama’s surprise. He wants Rama to join his team, undercover, to help clean up the dirty cops in the city. He refuses. Until one of his family members is killed as a result of his own earlier actions.

Shit. He is in.

So he has to get sent to jail to meet Uco (Arifin Putra), son of Bangun (Tio Pakusodewo), the local crime boss from the area. He needs to infiltrate their organization by befriending the son and hopefully get a list of names of corrupt cops. He knows that one head cop Reza (Roy Marten) is clearly bad, but without knowing the rest, there cannot be a cleanse.

But what ends up happening is Rama gets caught up in a gang turf war between the two rulings gangs, and a third new gang lead by Bejo (Alex Abbad) who wants to make his mark by going straight to the top. Can he survive and put an end to all of the threats?

Also featuring a slew of characters, such as the return of Mad Dog (Yayan Ruhian)! We also get a second in command Eka (Oka Antara), and some very intense hit men: Hammer Girl (Julie Estelle), Baseball Bat Man (Very Tri Yulisman) and The Assassin (Cecep Arif Rahman).

Curved Knife Fight
Basically one of the people is a real life Talim from Soul Calibur!

Technically, this is a bit of a hard film to give any real analysis to, because there are only so many words I know that mean “gruesome” and “fuck yeah violence”. There isn’t much else to say really outside of that for the action. Some of the best action scenes I have ever seen, just a bit cringey at times (note: most times). The first hour or so could have probably been cut some. A lot more plot vs action in that part, although it featured some sad moments. Thankfully the entire movie didn’t take place in prison like I thought it might. Only had two fight scenes in there, although the mud one was a whole tier on its own. Only thing I wish about that scene was making it easier to tell who was who so early in the movie.

I’d like to think if a bunch of white people were caked in mud, I would have an equally difficult time.

This is the type of shit American action movies need to be like. Especially the serious ones. Action on type of action with some little bit of action on the side.

I am curious where the third film is going to go. Apparently it will take place two hours before the events of the end of this film? Initially, that sounds terrible. But oh well, as long as it looks cool while it happens, right?

4 out of 4.

The Lunchbox

I am excited to say that I had the opportunity to see The Lunchbox while traveling to a conference, completely unrelated to movies. It was en route, the right time, and I got to see a movie I most certainly would not have seen at any other time. I sincerely doubt any local video rental store or Wal-Mart would have this bad boy eventually on its shelves later for me to peruse.

This is a movie from India! Out of all the foreign movies I have seen, never had I seen a purely Indian one. Sure, I had ones with Indian actors or whatever, but never set and completely Indian. Basically, I am excited. This is a new step of cinema for me, a man who claims to be willing to watch anything. Bring it on.

Eater
This man? He was also in Life Of Pi, which statistically you probably saw.

This movie features heavily a group of people called the Dabbawalas. This is a delivery service in Mumbai, in which warm lunches can be delivered from a home to the person at work and it will be tasty! Also, restaurants can get into the game too, and send meals straight to their work through this service. Despite gender stereotypes, essentially yes it is the wife at home who cooks the lunch for her husband to enjoy her cooking on the job.

This wasn’t really explained when the movie started, so I thought it was some sort of service where housewives/single ladies randomly cooked food to win over bachelors who had jobs. But no, our main lady Ila (Nimrat Kaur, who looks like the Indian Anna Kendrick to me) didn’t send out that lunch hoping to meet a mate. She has a husband. The excellent meal was meant for him, as he has been increasingly distant as of late and she wants to win back his love.

But it doesn’t go to him. In fact, he doesn’t even notice that what he gets is a different persons cooking. No, it goes to old man Saajan (Irrfan Khan) who is about to retire from his mundane department job after 35 years. His wife past away a long time ago and since then he has been a curmudgeon. But this meal is amazing. Really really good. One Ila finds out her husband has been getting a different meal, she decides to write a note to this mysterious man and see if he knew what was up.

Sometimes, strangers are the easiest to talk to, because you don’t know them and they are not biased. They begin a daily conversation, talking about the troubles in their lives, their dreams and aspirations and of course, love. Ooh, wonder if this will develop at all. That might be bad.

Nawazuddin Siddiqui plays the young gun coming in to replace Saajan when he leaves, and Bharati Achrekar plays Auntie, the upstairs neighbor of Ila who we never see, but only hear. Basically this movie’s Wilson.

Giver
“I sure would like some sweet company, oh, I’m leaving tomorrow. What do you say?” – Ila in a love note.

Awwwww, what a cute movie. Not only was it cute, but the dramatic elements were also decently heavy, so we were dealing with actual serious events and consequences, and not just some frilly romantic fling thing.

And it was decently realistic in the way the events unfolded as well. Assuming the movie itself is actually realistic, I learned a lot about the culture of this city and country. I will assume it is truthful, because I always try to learn cultures from movies and not actual experiences.

Acting was top notch too. So why the 3 out of 4? Well, the ending.

It was done stylistically for the reason, it makes sense sure, I can make all the appropriate assumptions. But I don’t want to. I just wanted my tear up and cry moment. I felt like I was deprived of that moment. Okay. I did have one slight tear up moment, but that was a sad one. Not the happy romance based moment that I am describing up there.

3 out of 4.

Black Nativity

Man, movies that didn’t come out last Fall/Winter are finally hitting the DVD Shelves. Last week was Justin Bieber’s Believe, which came to theaters on Christmas. This week, it is Black Nativity, which came to theaters for Thanksgiving! An even longer wait, those assholes. And for what? Nothing.

Bah humbug. Just give me my Christmas themed movie in April, thanks.

Mom
Christmas movie…with singing! Yay, sounds like a lot of joy.

This movie is based on a Langston Hughes play of the same name (but also, nothing like it?). You see, this isn’t just a retelling of the nativity but with an all black cast. The latter part is true, but the former is not. This is a modern setting, New York City.

In fact, our main character is named Langston (Jacob Latimore), after the poet. His mom (Jennifer Hudson) really likes him. Well, they are poor, behind on bills, he doesn’t know his daddy and they are about to be evicted. So she sends him to live with her parents in NYC, whom he hasn’t ever really met.

In NYC, after getting into trouble, he finally meets them. Reverend Cornell Cobbs (Forest Whitaker) and his wife Aretha (Angela Bassett). Yep, religious people. Around Christmas, no doubt. Langston doesn’t care about any of this, he just wants to help his mother anyway possible. If he has to steal to make money, so be it.

But maybe, just maybe, Christmas will and this new family he never really knew will be able to change him. Also starring Tyrese Gibson, Mary J. Blige, and Nas.

Rev
I swear, just one role of his should acknowledge his eye. Just. One.

As expected, there ended up being a lot of drama in this movie. Over status in life, over who was the father, over why the daughter left her home in the first place to struggle for fifteen years, and over God.

I was ready and willing for all of that. But then the songs came and it was incredibly disappointing.

Fist off, the music felt faker than most musicals. They didn’t even make them feel real for a musical. I am ready to expect someone to just belt out and start going, but then they keep singing the song while doing other songs. I mean, I know Jennifer Hudson is singing. She started the song, voice didn’t change. But they continue the same scene with her singing, but character literally not singing as other stuff goes on. That happened multiple times.

A lot of the music also just became background noise. Musicals need to make their music front stage. When it gets turned into a montage without any of the characters actively singing, and literally just being a song like in a normal movie, it is hard to really give it any attention.

The music was a lot of Gospel, and I like Gospel, but the music was just so disappointing as a whole, that this in no way felt too much like a musical. None of the emotions they wanted to convey were able to hit me and that is down right disappointing.

This is why I chose to use all of my analysis space on just the music a lone. After all, if the music is bad in your musical, then your musical is indeed bad.

1 out of 4.

A Haunted House 2

Here is a fun fact! At the current theater I go to see movies, there are only two franchises that have fit a very specific criteria. That criteria is me seeing the first movie and its sequel in the same theater. The first time it happened was with the first two hobbit movies, but it is debatable that it counts given LOTR.

The other two, obviously, are A Haunted House and A Haunted House 2.

Guess this franchise has a special little place in my heart. Awww.

Gabriel
Oh, it also has Gabriel Iglesias. Way better than Nick Swardson.

This movie takes place immediately after the first one. Basically, it quickly deals with Kisha (Essence Atkins) then moves to a year later. Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) is now dating a white woman (Jaime Pressly) who has kids (Ashley Rickards, Steele Stebbins) and about to move into a new place with her.

Guess what? Fucked up shit starts happening again. There is a doll. There is a strange box. There are invisible friends. Shit is haunted again.

Of course no one believes him. Even his past friends Father Williams (Cedric the Entertainer) and cousin Ray Ray (Affion Crockett) seem unwilling to help.

Also staring Missi Pyle and Hayes MacArthur as a priest and a psychic couple, and Rick Overton as a professor of demonology.

Butt Rape
This is not the first nor the second time in movies he has done a scene like this in a movie.

This could be the first time I saw a horror spoof of this nature and actually saw everything it parodied. The Possession, Sinister, Paranormal Activity, The Conjuring, some Insidious. Maybe more!

Look, this movie isn’t Oscar gold. It also isn’t perfect. But it has a lot of funny moments in it regardless. Shit, it also had some scary scenes in it. I didn’t expect everything that happened.

Really, Marlon Wayans puts a lot of his self into these movies. He actually has to do a lot of physical stuff in some of it. Sure, parts of it are just gross overexaggerated/long/ridiculous sex scenes. But he definitely gives it his all, leaving nothing on the table. Not everything works. No, it feels about 50-50 to me. But the things that did work had me laughing like crazy.

It has its share of poop jokes, of course. But not everything is a bad poop joke.

This movie, like its predecessor, is still miles ahead of the last few Scary Movie movies. In terms of Horror spoofs, it isn’t on a tier similar to something like Tucker and Dale VS Evil, but it has its niche and it is pretty good at filling that niche.

2 out of 4.

Transcendence

Yay Sci-Fi movies. I hadn’t heard a lot about Transcendence, outside of seeing the trailer only once or twice. But it looked cool! Even better, it isn’t based on a book and doesn’t star Tom Cruise. I don’t hate him, he just is in a lot of Sci-Fi films lately, and I demand diversity.

Sick Depp
And all of these white people fill my diversity quota.

Transcendence takes place in the not so distant future. Let’s say, tomorrow or so. A.I. has gone a long way in the last day, and there are many companies trying to make a self-aware computer system. The most famous of these individuals is Will Caster (Johnny Depp), who is almost a celebrity, but not one who really wants it. He just wants a happy life with his wife, Evelyn (Rebecca Hall).

But a terrorist group strikes. They don’t like this A.I. progression. They think humans need to watch out for that shit. That shit is weak, they say. So an attempt is made on Will’s life and it is basically successful. He has about four weeks left, decides to give up the A.I. research and live his life with his wife. But she says fuck that. No. She is going to put his consciousness into their A.I. system to save him. After all, brains are basically just a series of electric impulses right?!

So she gets their other smart friend, Max (Paul Bettany) to help make code and lots of data, and yay it works! Max is freaked out instantly, but not Evelyn. She has saved her husband. They quickly hook him up to the internet in order to provide more power, and then eventually he becomes a threat to the world. Yay!

A few other people in this movie, I guess. Cillian Murphy is a FBI detective, Morgan Freeman is another A.I. genius. Kate Mara and Falk Hentschel play A.I. terrorists, and Clifton Collins Jr. plays a handy man, more or less.

Bewilidered
Why does he look so bewildered? Because Morgan Freeman doesn’t understand technology, or his role in this film.

The only reason I am having a hard time writing this review, is because I am having a hard time figuring out where to begin with the list of things bad with this movie.

The idea behind it is not a bad one. It can be a great plot. The problems with the story come from how vague everything is. The trailer sets it up to be a very smart movie, but it ends up being a dumb movie about alleged smart things. Maybe afraid of people picking it apart, they went the extremely vague route for all parts of the science. Now, everyone can be pissed off at them for the same reason!

The flow of time is really weird in this movie. Apparently two years pass without any of the pissed off people doing anything about it. Really?

Acting wise, no one seems to care too much about this film, everyone collectively sailing it in. I guess Rebecca Hall is the only one with emotions in the movie, given her situation, but the robotic feeling from everyone’s a pain. I can’t remember, but Kate Mara might only have five lines in the entire movie.

The issues with the bad science means that the ending doesn’t make a lot of sense. They know how to fix it, but again, it’s hard to know why since everything is so vague. Speaking of vague. There is a point right at the end, where the computer says he only has enough energy for one of the two things. If I told you, it would be a spoiler. But if you heard it, you too would know that it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Fuck. TL;DR This movie is senseless.

1 out of 4.

Bears

Bears.

Bears Bears Bears? Yes, Bears.

Okay, Bears.

We got a Disneynature film here, and they have been doing this for a few years. The only other movie that they did that I saw was African Cats, and man, did I love it.

So why not Bears? Why not a short movie in Alaska about a year in their life? Yeah, let me get some bears.

This is about a bear named Sky, and her two kids, Scout and Amber. They are new born cubs, and it starts with them in the den waiting for winter to end. We then get to see their journey from the mountains, to the coast, to salmon season, to hibernation. According to the movie, only half of all bear cubs survive the journey in their first years. Well, shit. There are two cubs here. Which one will it be?! The adventurous Scout, or the mama’s bear Amber?

Cubs
Maybe one will take the other out in a fight well ahead of time.

They have to face avalanches, scarcity of food, big mean adult bears who want to eat them, foxes, raging rivers, and more.

We also get John C. Reilly as the narrator. He does an okay job. I get kind of annoyed, because he decides to “speak” for a lot of the animals, which has him then carrying on a conversation with himself. It is meant for humor, to add to the story and all, but I don’t remember African Cats having that bull crap in it, but still enjoying it.

I do find parts of the film questionable. I really don’t believe the avalanche scene happened as shown. I think some splicing went on there.

I am happy that during the credits, they showed a lot of the behind the scenes filming. So they had someone filming their camera man a lot, meaning it would show them filming, and then right after, what they filmed, to get it all into perspective. That was my biggest question with African Cats: How? And they kind of answer it! Really cool to see what they had to do to try and make this as natural as possible, without interfering. Although, you know, I doubt it worked out. Just by being there, they naturally interfere.

Overall though, this movie had a TON of awesome shots that are really hard to see, with great high definition. Even the salmon were exciting. Watching all of that shit was cool. I am glad they did it.

Come for the Bears, stay for the Bears. Unless your Stephen Colbert. He will probably hate this movie.

3 out of 4.

Heaven Is For Real

Alright, let’s just get this over with. Heaven Is For Real. Just in time for Easter. My least favorite holiday (note: I dislike most holidays).

Why is it my least favorite? Because I find it the most pointless, and hate that things are closed for it. Not to mention its ever changing day every year. And the shitty movies that deal with it, like Hop, or, well, this one.

Young Boy
This kid acts pretty strangely for a four year old. In fact, I bet he is secretly six.

This story is more about Todd Burpo (Greg Kinnear) than anyone else. Todd is a pastor at a small town church in Nebraska. He is super religious, a handyman, a volunteer firefighter, and pretty dang poor. He has bills, but you know, he trusts Jesus. He also has a few set backs that sidelines him for the church for some time.

But the biggest sideback comes from his son, who has a huge fever during flu season. This fever lasts for several days. Turns out Colton (Connor Corum) has had his appendix burst, so he has just been in pain. They take him to the hospital, people pray, he is fine, yay living. But then Colton starts to act a bit weird. He claims he saw outside of his body, that he went to Heaven and met Jesus. He met other family members who were dead, then he returned.

This is all very strange for Todd and his wife (Kelly Reilly) to accept. After all, he never was officially dead ever. Just was under surgery, just was in an induced sleep. But he “knew things that he couldn’t possibly know” so he must be telling the truth! None of this could be based on his upbringing, what everyone else told him was real or anything! Nope, proof, right there!

Also starring Thomas Haden Church and Margo Martindale as an influential couple in the town and church.

Heaven is an Old Man
Ah, the big turning point in the movie! I mean, if I was six years old, maybe.

Don’t worry everyone. This movie isn’t as bad as God’s Not Dead. No, this one at least has some pretty scenes, decent CGI, nice camera work, and better acting. Come on, Kevin Sorbo was always hammy, so he isn’t great now. No, we get Greg Kinnear, who was nominated for an Oscar for his role in As Good As It Gets!

There isn’t a lot I can say about this movie either. They kind of go over everything. They literally explain most of the theories as to what could have happened, all of those theories make sense. Then all of those theories get ignored every time the boy says something. The problem with it is that he never says anything that is proof. All of the information that was kind of shown in the trailer? That is basically all the movie shows too. No cutting tape ruining it either. The dad shows the kid a picture of the grandpa when he was younger. “Yep, that is him”. That is all. He doesn’t describe him at all, just declines the old version and picks the young one.

Same with his description of Jesus. I mean, the fact that the Jesus he saw being white kind of proves that it was all just a bullshit dream anyways, right? Right?

My biggest reason why this movie doesn’t get a pass is the ending. It kind of just ends. Doesn’t really prove anything, just ends a little bit after a sermon that doesn’t make a lot of sense. It is an ending that is an extreme let down. The problems faced by them in this movie seem to be ignored. They owe like, 50,000 in bills, stuff going to collections. But whatever. They are having another baby, the town like him, and the movie ends.

For fucking sake, at least finish your dang story.

Overall, I’d say this story has the least amount of things happen in it that I have ever seen in a movie, for it to make the big claim that it does. Like absolutely nothing happens. It also features a lot of people getting angry over nothing and yelling without any real spark.

1 out of 4.

Zero Charisma

Ahh, Nerd movies! Not movies nerds would like. Nope, movies about nerds. The first two over the last few weeks were Lloyd the Conqueror then Knights of Badassdom. Now we have Zero Charisma. Given the way my site has been going lately, it only seemed natural that I had to watch and review this bad boy as soon as possible.

It even has a clever title. Zero Charisma. That tells us a lot about the movie. We are going to be dealing with someone very unpleasant, so get prepared.

TableTop
Hah, who role plays without TVs or graphics anymore? What silly nerds.

Who is that unpleasant individual? Why, it Scott (Sam Eidson), who is overweight, living at home with his grandmother. He doesn’t have a job anymore, he got fired from the local gamestore. He wants to publish a game system he has been working on for a few years, but no publishers seem to care. But at least he has his weekly game group, yeah!

Except one of the regulars has to leave, because his wife is leaving him. Shit, hard to blame him then. But now he has a spot to fill, and no one wants to join the group because people kind of hate him. But then Miles (Garrett Graham) walks into the store. He apparently is into home brew campaigns, so agrees. Miles is great though, kind of a hipster. He is nice to people, has good stories, roleplays really well, and even created a nerdy website that is pretty popular. Shit. Everyone likes Miles, and not Scott, so Scott gets even more upset than normal. He even might…gasp…cheat.

At the same time, his grandma (Anne Gee Byrd) has a stroke, so his mother (Cyndi Williams) is staying in their house for the time being. She wants to sell the house, but that would make Scott homeless. She also hates his gaming, and makes his life even more unpleasant.

If Scott lashes out against everyone he knows, even his heroes, will even his best friend (Brock England) no longer support him?

Hipsters
Damn, Miles does look cool. Almost like James Franco. I’d rather play with him too.

One thing this movie definitely got right was the culture around RPGs in general. There are several types of people in this movie and they are all starkly based on reality. I guess you could call them stereotypes, but for us gamers, we all know someone like some of the people in this movie.

The main character is indeed an asshole, and he is an asshole the entire film. Many tantrums are had. Despite its level of “Realism” character wise, which a lot of indie movies do strive for, there is something else missing from this movie entirely. The entertainment aspect. Sure, early on, parts are entertaining, but it starts to dull out in my eyes and never really feels like I need to be watching it. Just a man digging deeper and deeper into his social outcast hole.

I’d be fine with that, depending on how it ended, but the ending came almost out of no where. The character showed a little bit of growth, maybe. But not a lot, and it seems like he was rewarded for being a jerk. He had to change his surroundings, but he is arguably in a better position by the end than he was at the beginning of the movie, so he basically learned nothing. So you know, its an okay movie. I guess.

1 out of 4.

Justin Bieber’s Believe

Hells yeah. Took forever, but I finally get to see Justin Bieber’s Believe, his latest documentary.

I reviewed his first one awhile ago, Justin Beiber: Never Say Never which made a lot of money. There was a second and third documentary that I never saw, Justin Bieber: All Around The World, and Justin Bieber: Rise To Fame. No, I got stuck with Justin Beiber: Always Believe, which was one of the biggest horse shits disguised as a movie that I have ever seen.

But this one went to theaters! Released on Christmas! It has to be a better, higher quality, right?

Much like the first one, we get to see live performances of a lot of Bieber’s songs from whatever this album is. I think it was called Believe, the venue was in Miami. That also is really the only new information given by this documentary. At least the first one got to talk about growing up, his first fourteen years and how he got big. This one was filled with just behind the scenes tour stuff, a lot of which was focused on his dancers for whatever reason.

Bieber Stash
Here is Bieber trying to grow a mustache.

Lot of talk about the song Boyfriend, which is unfortunate, because that song sounds like pigs being slaughtered to my ears. That’s the only comparison I can think of, honestly. I know very little reason why it got popular. Beauty and the Beat? That is a song that makes sense. Even has singing in it. But Boyfriend? Get the fuck out of here. None of these songs really live up to his earlier work, in my eyes.

This documentary had a very large older man with a Bieber face tattoo. On his thigh. That deserved its own mention.

And uhh, that was about it. There is literally not much else in this documentary. Just behind the scenes crap of another tour, so nothing new outside of the songs being played.

What is kind of annoying is an interview in this movie where he talks about hos the paparazzi and media really want him to mess up and crash and burn. He says he hates it, but says he sometimes yells out at them so they get what they want just to leave him alone. But you know, that the bad life style isn’t for him.

Yeah. That explains everything he did since this movie came out then. What another waste of a documentary. Again, I don’t even hate Bieber. Just the song Boyfriend. I more hate Bieber haters, who only have like 5 of the same jokes, thinking they are so clever. Same sort of hate I give to people who say “still a better love story than Twilight“.

If you hate Bieber, then obviously you will dislike this movie. If you like Bieber, you will enjoy the new songs. If you are looking for new important stories or anything in his life, then this documentary will be disappointing. Consider me in that last area.

1 out of 4.