Month: May 2013

After Fast Five premiered, there was a lot of talk about the future of the franchise thanks to the scene in the credits. It left many people confused. How could Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) be alive, when she clearly died in The Fast and The Furious?

We will get to that later. More importantly, the time line of the films became more clear.

They mentioned that Fast & Furious 6 (Trailer) would follow 5, and part 7 would be set AFTER Tokyo Drift. Basically, films 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 of the series are in the correct order, and 3 is set after 6, but before 7. They also went through a little bit of development hell, where they were going to break 6 into two parts, but thankfully went back to just one film. Either way, the questions you have at the end of 6 will be answered next summer when part 7 comes out.

I don’t give a fuck about any of that, because HOLY SHIT A TANK! Long story short, there is a highly tactical gang of drivers out there in Europe, who are trying to assemble a device that can shut down an entire city for 24 hours. That is a pretty dangerous weapon and could kill a lot of people. Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and his new partner Riley (Gina Carano) know the only people who can help them out are a group of lesser international criminals on the run from the law.

Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) obviously refuse to help, but when Hobbs shows pictures of Letty, his love who they thought died years ago, they assemble the team (Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Sung Kang, and Gal Gadot) to find out how this picture exists and if she is really alive. Saving the world isn’t on their mind, just finding the girl.

But with Shaw (Luke Evans) being a criminal master mind, always a few steps ahead of the authorities, can their rag tag group even follow in their exhaust fumes?

Of course the women have to fight each other. Gender equality people, let’s see some. Fast & Furious 6 is being lauded as one of the best films in the franchise, and action movies in general. I will give the movie that. There is action throughout the movie, from car chases, to scenes completely void of cars. It doesn’t apologize for anything in the film, and goes at completely ridiculous lengths for an explosion or two.

But personally, it completely changes the genre of the film, which grinds my gears the most.

To me, everyone felt like a super hero in this film. There are TONS of hand to hand combat scenes between the two groups, and it felt like watching a live action Dragon Ball movie. Ridiculous feats of strength and long battles where neither side got hurt, when most of these people are just retired car racers. It bugged me to no end that they all basically became invincible just for the sake of a bigger action movie.

On top of that, I don’t think it flowed well. Almost every scene I felt confused due to the plot of the movie. The heroes were constantly doing nonsensical things. Nonsensical to their character and to a normal human being. They wedged a street race into the movie that plot wise didn’t make sense (nor did anything out of that London woman’s mouth before the race). At one point four or five of the bad guys get arrested and end up making their escape, yet one of the group is no longer seen in the movie. I guess they just decided to write him out of the movie.

The climatic plane ending is ruined for me thanks to it apparently being the longest run way known to man, making the ridiculousness too much to bare. It also features an Amnesia plot line, which I feel is one of the laziest plot developments you can ever come up with.

Yes, if you changed the movie to be something completely set apart from the Fast & Furious universe, I would probably enjoy the movie more. But we have five movies that are grounded (mostly) in reality, a shift in genre I can’t get over. It is breaks all the rules of the series, despite trying its hardest to include the previous five films. If it was an original movie (and better acting), I might have loved it.

2 out of 4.

Case 39 is a movie I easily walked by hundreds of times before giving it a chance. Why did I give it a chance now?

Boredom, mostly. The cover is boring. The stars aren’t my favorite. I just never cared about ever seeing it.

That is until I found out that Bradley Cooper was in it. Okay, fine, let’s do this.

Neither of these two people are Bradley Cooper.

Emily Jenkins (Renee Zellweger) is a…social worker! Ah yes, social worker, of course. She is pretty full on her schedule too. She works on child neglect things around the city. In fact, she already has 38 open cases! But her boss makes her add one more. Let’s call it Case 39. Great. Fine.

Well, she goes to the house and finds out it is very strange. Lilith (Jodelle Ferland) is starting to do bad at school and her parents are strange. She is a little bit worried about her safety, so checks in her at night a little bit later and finds her parents trying to burn her alive in an oven. Oh shit! They be crazy! They get locked up and she needs a home. Lillith wants to be adopted by Emily, but that is ridiculous.

Too bad it happens anyways. Weird things start to happen. A few weeks later, another of her cases ended up killing his parents. Whoa. Serious business. But the detectives also find out that before it happened, the kid received a phone call from Emily’s home. We all assume it was Lilith, so she gets some of that psychiatrist talk from Doug (Bradley Cooper!!) to figure out whats up. Then Doug kills himself later. Whoa.

Does Lilith have some power over people to cause them to kill themself? Is she just mentally fucked up and brings dismay to others? Or is she secretly an evil demon in a kid body brought to bring torture to everyone around? It could go either way. Straight demon horror film, or psychological thriller. Also there is a detective to help figure out whats up with Ian McShane.

Put that kid in an oven. Kids love oven.

Spoilers? It is totally a demon. They give some hints that it might not be something supernatural, just a disturbed child. Too bad, we get a demon kid movie. She also goes full demon by the end. It is very confusing at what her actual purpose is in this film. It is very irrational, and I have no idea why she even pretends to be a kid instead of just going on a demon rage.

Unfortunately, this film was pretty boring. The psychological route would have made it better overall, with a lot of people slowly going crazy, and that poor kid being in the middle of it. Misery does breed misery. That would require better writing, but it probably would still only be a 2 at that point. The beginning of the film was interesting, but as soon as the social worker decided to foster a child, that clearly interfered with the job, I lost all hope that the movie would be interesting. Sucks to suck, Case 39.

1 out of 4.

The Hangover series is a bit of an enigma. Here is why!

The original is about four men on a bachelor party in Las Vegas, where they all black out, one goes missing, and they have to retrace their steps through the wildest night of their lives before the wedding. So what’d the sequel do? The Hangover Part II gave us another wedding, another night of blacked our memories and regrets, but in Thailand. Like most sequels, in contained the same theme and a similar plot. After all, it is called The Hangover and is about being hungover, and it is not called “Some Guys Get Into Shenanigans!” I don’t know if people complained about the similarities between Die Hard and Die Hard 2.

But for whatever reason, audiences hated it and voiced their displeasure. Which is why we now have The Hangover Part III! (Trailer) Learning from their mistakes, we now have a movie about a few guys getting into shenanigans and no hangovers.

Classic elevator scenes are classic. Those sheets are suggestive as fuck.

A few years after Part II, Alan (Zach Galifianakis) is still a madman. He is off his medication and causing accidents, overly stressing his father (Jeffrey Tambor) and giving him a fatal heart attack.

Which is why his friends decide to give him an intervention. Doug (Justin Bartha), Stu (Ed Helms), and Phil (Bradley Cooper) convince him to drive down to the rehab center to get his life back on track! But along the way, they are hijacked by Marshall (John Goodman), a drug dealer and international criminal, who claims Chow (Ken Jeong) stole $21 Million in gold bars from him.

Of course the only person to be in contact with Chow since Thailand is Alan. So he kidnaps Doug, and they have three days to find Chow and his money, or Doug dies. Swell!

This film also brings back Mike Epps as “Black Doug”, Heather Graham as Jade, and introduces Melissa McCarthy as a pawn shop owner.

Yep, the whole gang is represented in this poster. Wait…

I think I am going to put this blame on the writers. In terms of plot, this Hangover actually tells a decent story. There is betrayal, redemption, and a group of guys that can’t fix their larger than life problems. But instead of focusing on the entire group, it is almost a if Stu and Phil get pushed out of the way for the Alan and Chow show.

Alan is an annoying character, which Zach G. tends to to play a lot (With mixed results). He is the type of character that is good for a comedy, but shouldn’t be the main focus. Chow was also a secondary character, but  it feels like he has more lines than even Stu, who in turn is just a punching bag for Alan this movie.

The writers intended this to be a redemption movie for Alan, and thus  gave him the leading role. After all, everyone else has settled down besides his character, so this is just his turn to settle to end the series. But it feels very forced. The film on the whole has less humor than the previous two, focusing more on the intense plot lines. In fact, the scaffolding scene from the trailer made me jump from my feet in fright. Not that the seriousness was a bad thing, but it is framed as a comedy and not an adventure/action film.

I know it is a strange thing to blame the writers yet talk highly of the plot.I wish they were able to have the same overall storyline, without cramming two (Arguably) secondary characters down our throat. It shouldn’t be hard to give Bradley Cooper or Ed Helms bigger roles in the film. They felt like replaceable cast members, which is unacceptable.

That being said, Part III wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t amazing either.

2 out of 4.

I was very excited when I first saw the trailer for Epic. The music is perfect, not a lot is spoiled, it looks beautiful, and looks like a great new franchise.

You know what I don’t like? The title. You know how hard it is to look up things about Epic? Don’t just search the title, you will get dumb internet images. “Epic Movie” is out, because of a bad movie having that exact same name. I had to resort to searching for “Epic <character/actor name” to get anything close to finding suitable images or posts. Come on people, think about the ease of finding your movie before you name it. Unfortunately, it was also made by Blue Sky Productions, who haven’t really made anything I really loved, their last effort being Ice Age 4: Continental Drift.

Just look at how sexy those birds are. Mmmmhmm.

This movie begins with death! Death before the film takes place (this is a PG movie). MK (Amanda Seyfried) is en route to her fathers house in the middle of the woods. She is almost 18, but her mother just died, and so she has to go live with her dad, who is basically a stranger to her. You see, Professor Bomba (Jason Sudeikis) believes there is a hidden ecosystem in these woods, hidden from human eyes. They react on a faster plane, like flies, so humans can’t really see them because they are always moving so…fast. Yeah, he went crazy and his wife left him. Happens all the time.

But holy tiny men, Bomba is right! In fact, it is a special day, the Summer Solstice on the same night as the Full Moon! Time for the Queen (Beyonce Knowles) to pick a new heir for the next 100 years. After all, only the queen can restore life to the forest if the evil Mandrake (Christoph Waltz) of the Boggarts (swamp/decay creatures) come to mess things up.

The leaf men won’t let that happen! Ronin (Colin Farrell) has sworn to protect her, but young Nod (Josh Hutcherson) is making things difficult by quitting. After some bad things happen, MK finds herself in the woods and magically gets shrunk down to their size. Now she is in the middle of a forest civil war, with the threat of 100 years of swamps on the horizon.

Of course, this could all be some sort of PTSD after her mom’s death for all we know. Chris O’Dowd and Aziz Ansari play a snail and slug, respectfully, Pitbull a frog, and Steven Tyler a glowworm.

“No shell over here baby, I’m a slug” – Aziz. Possibly my new favorite line ever, and I don’t know why.

Epic is loosely based on the children’s book (that no one has heard of), The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs. Basically, it took the character ideas, and made an original story. The plot itself isn’t the most exciting or original, and was filled with certain plot holes that made me shutter.

But it’s pretty, though.

One of my biggest complaints is inconsistencies in a movie. In this case, what is the real difference between a tiny human, a plant/animal human hybrid, and an actual plant or animal.

It’d be simple if all animals and plants could talk and be human-like in this movie, but we have frogs and snails that can talk perfectly, living out their lives and jobs, right next to birds who are just 100% animal, no voice. We have flowers that are just flowers, right next to some flowers that run around, gossip, and have arms and legs. Where is the balance? How does this work?

With the leaf men, they aren’t leaves at all. They are basically tiny humans, with just leaf armor as clothing. Nothing else in the forest outside of the queen appears to be a tiny human, so I found it all confusing.

But it’s pretty, though.

Epic ended up being just an average film, not living up to its (poor) title. If you ignore how confusing the world ends up being, it is a cute tale that is outrageously incredible to look at.

“Hey, it’s a kids movie, stop thinking so deeply about the world!”. No, that is a bad excuse, and leads to movies like Cars 2.

2 out of 4

The Hunter came out almost a year ago, last July. I am pretty sure I got it sometime around then too. Whoops. One of those random gains that you forget about for apparently 10 or so months.

Let’s make this a metaphor about life. I just won’t explain that metaphor, to complete this very bad intro to a review.

Hopefully shitty enough to cause a bar fight. Or sexy enough. Shit, what causes bar fights again?

Red Leaf is a military biotech company. Yeah, didn’t you know that those were a thing? Because they totally are! Military. Biotech. Some sort of crazy weapon based thing. Well, they have reports that the Tasmanian Tiger has been spotted recently in Tasmania. Makes sense. Unless you realize that that they have been extinct since 1963! Oh hooray, a breakthrough for the species! Maybe they can breed them back to a populated state!

Wait. Hmm. Red Leaf isn’t a fan of that. In fact, they hire The Hunter (Willem Dafoe) to head to Tasmania, capture the tiger, extract its DNA and kill any other tigers he is able to find. Holy shit, that’s the opposite of saving them! It turns out they might have some paralyzing venom in their bite, and they want to weaponize the fuck out of it, charming. They also want no one else to get a hold of it. Evil!

He heads to Tasmania, pretending to be a Biology researcher, and stays at a local cabin. Lucy (Frances O’Connor) is drugged up on pain meds, despite having two children. Her husband died, he was a wildlife protection guy. Hah.

Either way, The Hunter goes into the wild 12 days at a time, setting traps, looking for the Tiger and then returns to the cabin. He begins to like the kids, fix their home life, and even the mom. They almost make a quaint little family. At the same time he has to deal with local battles between the environmentalists and the loggers, who get violent over each other.

Will the Hunter find the tiger and carry out the deed? Or will he give in to the pressures of other groups. After all, if he refuses, they will probably just keep sending people to do the job until it gets done. Sam Neill is also in this movie as random helpful neighbor guy/guide.

Ah, they got a picture of everyone who saw The Hunter on opening night.

The cool thing about The Hunter is that if you watch it, you are treated to some kick ass Tasmanian scenery. It is filmed entirely in the country, so it gives it some layers of authenticity. There are also people there who claim to see the Tigers, but have no real substantial proof, so it is based on local legends. If you like Willem Dafoe, you get a lot of him in the movie. Not shirtless or anything. Just it is mostly him being a bad ass (or pseudo badass).

However, the movie does move pretty slow. On top of that, even though the ending was unexpected, I didn’t like what it gave me. It all seemed completely out of left field, and probably not the best course of action to end it. They had the balls to end it that way, but I didn’t find the character change to be believable.

You know what that means? Average! Hooray. I’m bored.

2 out of 4.

I have been told by one of my friends that Netflix has been pushing Bachelorette on them pretty strongly over their last few movies. No matter the movie. Now, I am not going to make the claim that they will ignore their “If you like this, you might like x?” formula sometimes for advertisements, but the evidence seems pretty strong.

For shame, Netflix. But I took it overall as a request to see the movie myself, you know, like I tend to do, and decide if its worth all this Netflix hype. Maybe they are just making up for its lack of advertisements elsewhere? After all, pretty impressive cast. Kind of. But I only heard about it after it hit video, so clearly people didn’t care about hyping it in the slightest.

If you saw the cast, you did not guess the bride to be correctly.

Becky (Rebel Wilson) is getting married, yay! This actually kind of pisses of Regan (Kirsten Dunst), her best friend. How could her “Fat friend” find happiness in marriage before her? What the heck?! Either way, she will be her maid of honor and help her plan a kick ass wedding, but they still need their two best friends from college, Gena (Lizzy Caplan) and Katie (Isla Fisher).

To help with the recap, we have Becky the Happy, Regan the uptight and pompous, Katie the drunk and cokefiend, and Gena the sarcastic and apathetic. Great, different personalities, and not one of which is the “slut” (arguable, when Katie is drunk, but shh).

Well, things get dicey at the bachelorette party, when the stripper (Andrew Rannells) calls Becky a pigface, a mean nickname in high school. Shit, are her friends actually still mean bitches who can’t be nice for once? Things start getting out of hand, including a ripped up wedding dress. This leads the remaining trio to go out to try and fix all the problems the night before the nuptials.

It also features Adam Scott, Hayes MacArthur, Kyle Bornheimer, and James Marsden! They play either the groom, exes who are still in love, or new people who just want to get laid. I will let you figure out who goes with who.

Pictured, the female version of The Hangover. It would be Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, and Bradley Cooper personality wise.

Well, this movie is a little bit bleak. I mean that in the best way possible. All three of the main girls have unlikable virtues associated with them, and they are all pretty callous, but that makes the film more exciting for me. Bad people, being bad. They are trying to make a harder comedy, but with women! Sure, maybe I should be worried that movies trying to do this tend to be about weddings, because apparently that is the only thing women do. I will let someone trained in sociology to figure out the ramifications about that.

It wasn’t an insanely funny movie by any means, but at least it was a bit interesting. I am mostly annoyed by the ending, in which they attempted to redeem every character and wrap up their plot lines in happy endings.

Boo. The entire movie was about unhappy people. I wanted more unhappy endings. Bring on the sad people!

2 out of 4.

I love the summer. It lets me watch all the things I missed, and all the things I didn’t even know existed. Did you know there was a remake of Fame? No, not that TV show, like 2009 a new Fame movie. Hooray?

Yeah, I never saw the original. Or the show. Or the Broadway version. But I know this one is classified as a musical, and I like musicals, so fuck it.

The potential seems high for dance punching and fighting! Classic West Side Story. Just like the original Fame, I have been told, this story is told in a similar style. It is just a small group of friends in learning how to perform high school. No, it is a few different people who might not share social groups. It is split into 5 parts, of which are nicely labeled, I think. Audition, Freshman Year, Sophomore Year, Junior Year, Senior Year.

We get to see a few students over their careers in the high school, and what makes them tick. Like Jenny Garrison (Kay Panabaker, who you may remember from No Ordinary Family and younger sister of Danielle Panabaker). She is some sort of actor who can’t less lose. This Marco kid (Asher Book) tried to date her for two years and she finally relents. When she takes a card from a big time actor, who might give her a part, Marco is jealous. But she goes to him anyways, basically gets sexually harassed, and Marco can’t stand that commitment and leaves her.

Wait what? Way to be a douche Marco.

Or Kevin (Paul McGill). He came from bumfuck Iowa to be a dancer. He isn’t that good, yet somehow still accepted into the program. People make fun of him. Alice (Kherington Payne) outshines him. His senior year, his teacher won’t give him a recommendation because he is that bad, so he tries that suicide thing. What? How the hell could you be in a dance school for four years if you aren’t good enough?

Let’s try again. Denise (Naturi Naughton) and Malik (Collins Pennie) are both lying to their parents. Denise’s thinks the school is so much more uptight and she’d practice cello 24/7. Malik’s mom thinks he goes to a regular school (what?). Turns out Denise can sing, so Malik and Victor (Walter Perez) put her vocals on a track they are making, which gets played at a club. Alright! But when local producers hear it, they only like her vocals, not their work. Whoops.

Neil (Paul Iacono) wants to be a director, makes documentaries, gets a job to make an indie short film! But really, he just got scammed out of his money. Fuck.

These are all kind of depressing. I don’t want to go on anymore. But hey. Charles S. Dutton is in this movie as random teacher guy. That’s something?

Kay is the most famous actress in this, yet I couldn’t find her doing artsy things.
‘
Oh hey, yeah, I gave reckless spoilers in that review, because no one is going to watch it. No one. If you planned on it, stop right now. It is a jumbled mess. The music is bad. The dancing is whatever. I cared nothing about any of the characters, and just waited for it to be over.

None of the plot lines were particularly good, but they had no chance with so little being told about each person over a four year period. Even if I wanted to care, I couldn’t. Most of them got shit on throughout the years too, in various ways. But because so little time is on every single person, plot lines also get forget about and just ignored for the end of the movie.

How the hell are all these non talented kids getting into a program like this? That is a stupid plot line. Bad movie. Bad.

0 out of 4.

The reason I saw this movie is basically an accident. You see, I went in to rent The Oranges the other night, and well, all 2 copies were out. What?! So, P section is next to O, this is still labeled as new release, only planned to be in there for 30 seconds, so grabbed Price Check and went on home.

Yeah, blind watch!

Maybe we will get some good old fashioned gender violence.

Pete Cozy (Eric Mabius) is satiated with his job and station in life. He works as some sort of business guy in some sort of sueprmarket chain. What does he do? Hard to say. Let’s just say he is a low level businessman, making about $40,000 a year, and fine with it. He has a wife (Annie Parisse) and a child, but they have many bills to pay. But at least he gets to spend time with his family.

When his boss leaves, another is flown in to take his place. Hiring within the company is stupid. But Susan Felders (Parker Posey) is a little bit strange. To be fair, she is in a new situation and wants to have a good impression, and be successful, but it puts everyone off and no one gives her a chance. Pete is reluctant, because the first thing she does is fire someone, and not the person he recommended, while also doubling his salary and making him her assistant. Awesome.

But with more money comes more responsibilities, and Susan might have made promises that their small team office can’t jut handle. He just wants to make enough to live and hang out with his family. He definitely doesn’t want to accidentally have an affair. Whoops. Oh yeah, that happens too.

This boardroom meeting is weird. Who gave them a table?

It was hard to get through the plot outline, it truly was. I might have had to take a nap during it. Instead I ran a lab around my lab. Overall, watching the movie was good for my physical health, just not my mental health.

About twenty minutes in or so, I just didn’t care anymore. Despite being a comedy, nothing entertaining happens nor makes me laugh. Like zero. Maybe they were going for awkward humor? Hard to tell. If so, they did badly at it.

Like, I didn’t hate hate it. I was just bored. Parker Posey isn’t the most likeable of actresses, but she was especially off the annoying charts in this one. Almost worse than Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, which is saying something.

Now I am just rambling. Don’t watch it. But every movie on the previews for it looked decent.

1 out of 4.

For whatever reason, just like my previous review of Star Trek, I am finding the right words to describe Star Trek Into Darkness.

I feel like a fake, a liar. I am a nerd who knows not a lot about the Star Trek series and never really cared to find out. So as to whether or not this movie fits the Star Trek world, I can’t comment on. But I tell you what I can do. Ignore the source material and just tell you if the movie is awesome or not. Basically what I do for every movie anyways!

I honestly don’t know if this is from the first or second Star Trek. The movie takes place right where we left off. Kirk (Chris Pine) is still captain of the Starship Enterprise, with the exact same crew. Spock (Zachary Quinto) is the first officer, Sulu (John Cho) the pilot, Bones (Karl Urban) the doctor, Scotty (Simon Pegg) the engineer, and Uhura (Zoe Saldana) and Chekov (Anton Yelchin) as whatever they do on the ship.

Well, things quickly hit the fan when a bombing occurs in one of Star Fleet’s libraries, plotted by John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch), a former Star Fleet officer. That’s right, someone turning against his own former employers! Must have received a very poor severance package. After a few other attacks, he escapes to Kronos, home planet of the Klingons, the warrior race who wouldn’t mind having a reason to conquer Earth.

Well, crap, I guess they are screwed. Unless…

Clearly the best plan of action is to use long range Plasma Missiles to take him out (no trial needed), while hopefully not starting an intergalactic war. I trust Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller) personally, so I am sure the strategy will work.  Bruce Greenwood also returns as Admiral Pike, and Alice Eve is brought in as mysterious science/weapons expert Carol.

Nope. No Shame at all here at Gorgon Reviews.I saw the sequel in 3D and I am almost certain it didn’t warrant the higher price. The film was made for IMAX and later changed to include 3D, so it was a sort of afterthought. In terms of “rounding” out the picture, it didn’t really work for me, and felt wasted. But hey, some sticks fly at your face in the beginning, and I might have actually tried to dodge them.

I loved Star Trek Into Darkness. It was exciting, it was action packed, and it refilled my lens flare quota for the rest of the year. It is of course beyond perfect. I left out a lot of plot details, but I disliked that problems introduced early in the film were fixed only a few minutes later. It made me wonder why even write those problems in the first place and made me feel like they were rehashing the first movie.

I also hate that they introduced regenerative blood into the series. Regeneration itself is a very tricky subject, as it becomes a deus ex machina. Unfortunately it also appeared in Iron Man 3 and was one of the worst plot fixers in both movies.

I’d stil suggest watching the movie and avoid IMDB/Wikipedia, there are spoilers everywhere.

Despite not being a Trekkie, I am deep enough in this Pop Culture game to understand a lot of the throwbacks and homages to the original series/films. In fact, I liked this film enough that I almost want to try and watch the older Star Trek films, out of curiosity. Almost.

3 out of 4.

I didn’t think I would be able to see Mud until it was released on Blu-Ray later in the year. After all, Iowa isn’t necessarily the epicenter of the film community, so even a bigger “Indie” release like Mud would probably never get to our small town lifestyle. But here I stand corrected and I only had to wait three weeks after its release!

Hopefully this is a nice change for the indie/arts movies in the area. I’d rather get them 3 weeks late than never at all! Even though the Mud Trailer only seems about small town living and befriending a criminal on the run, it still looks awesome.

My current guess for crime is pedophilia. Arkansas is generally a quiet state that you never see in the news about…well, anything at all. Ellis (Tye Sheridan) is a 14 year old boy who lives a relatively normal life on the Mississippi River. His family lives in a house boat, he gets an allowance from his dad for helping deliver fish to neighbors, he goes to school, but mostly he just likes to adventure and play outside. With the help of his friend Neckbone (Jacob Lofland, first film/TV role ever), they find the strangest thing: a boat stuck in a tree on a small island.

Finders keepers, so they are happy to have a new boat/tree house. But then they find out they were not the first ones there. They find a stranger with crosses in his shoes, a gun, and a request. Help bring him food and eventually restore the boat, he will give them his gun. He is there waiting for a girl, Juniper (Reese Witherspoon), and cannot leave to find her because he is wanted by the law for a mistake.

He also wants to go by the name Mud (Matthew McConaughey). Strange name, kind of dirty, but who am I to judge?

Mud will have to rely on two kids going through their own personal problems to help him escape down the Mississippi, hopefully with the love of his life. Also staring Sam Shepard as a mysterious neighbor on the river.

I can’t tell if they are worried, scared, or bored. I will continue to assume pedo. McConaughey, McConaughey, McConaughey. Holy crap, McConaughey. Maybe it is just his voice, which gives him an unfair advantage, but I am in awe of his performance. He outshines any other role he has been in (yes, this includes Magic Mike), but he also does it with such ease, it appears that talent just oozes out of his body.

Mud itself is a pretty slow moving film, which fits perfectly given its setting. It uses scenic swamp imagery to really drive its ideas home, and helps us realize that no one, especially our heroes, are perfect. I classify this film as a Drama Romance, but it wouldn’t be like any Romance film you have seen before. The ending is unpredictable, the characters and finale are realistic.

Although I liked where all the characters ended up and how their plot lines finished, I didn’t like the entire ending. The ending included a shootout, which was a stark change of pace from the rest of the film. It seemed like a few minute where realism flew out of the window, with results that are really out of place.

Despite how fantastic his acting was, I doubt McConaughey will receive a nod from the Oscars. Sure, it is only May and I haven’t seen any other big contenders this year yet, I just doubt that his character played a big enough role to be recognized as one of the absolute greats.

3 out of 4.