Day: February 18, 2012

Deception has apparently been out for awhile, yet I have walked by it tons of time without even looking. If I had ever actually glanced at the cover I probably would have watched it a lot sooner, on the actors alone.

Lets just hope the actors don’t deceive me into watching a bad movie.

Maybe I should call this movie Sexception instead. Chuchhh!

Movie opens with Ewan McGregor, working late at night in a conference room alone. Turns out he is some sort of an accountant. Works for a few companies every year, good with numbers etc. Well, Hugh Jackman saunters over and sees him alone, as he is also working late that night. Jackman is a lawyer for that company, but despite that they become good friends and smoke pot!

They hang out a lot over the next few months, and when their cell phones accidentally get mixed up, Ewan answers the call and finds a woman on the line. She wants to meet, so they do, and they have sex. Yay sex! Turns out Hugh is in a “Sex club” type deal, where they dont know the other persons name, someone else sets up a list, they just go down the list. The caller sets up a hotel room, they have sex, no real talking, no names. Boom. So he joins the club but meets a mysterious lady, S, played by Michelle Williams. Despite it all they talk, and agree to meet again, despite still not knowing information about each other.

Well, later on Ewan opens the door, sees blood, and is knocked out. Next thing he knows she is missing, and he has no idea what is going on. Kind of hard to tell the cops this information too. The rest of the movie is the search for S, trying to figure out who Hugh really is, and also this other plot about stealing millions of dollars.

Pretty intense copping a feel going on here.

Oh I get it. Maybe everyone is lying, about their identity, and what they do. What then? Who do I trust?

Good question.

I think the movie was far too slow for what eventually happened. This bad boy is almost two hours, so there is definitely a lot you can watch. Unfortunately a lot of the twists are kind of predictable too. The ending I wouldn’t describe as predictable, just lame. Never really cared about any of the characters either. None of them seemed relatable or interesting. I don’t know how often I find characters “relatable” but for some reason I really noticed it in this movie, and that just made the whole thing uninteresting.

As a general rule of thumb, I say hooray to all movies based off of graphic novels. As a rule of my pinky, I usually say “Oh damn it, a movie with Megan Fox.”
Thus the overall rule of my hand is that I had no emotion towards Jonah Hex, except one telling me to continue to put it off until I get bored enough to watch it.

She is why we can’t have nice things.

Josh Brolin plays Jonah Hex, also known as the guy who can’t really die. They tried to kill him, but apparently some nice Indian folk brought him back to life. So he also, having spent time being dead, can now talk to the dead. That’s nice. With his touch, the dead come back until he lets go, and its good for interrogating. For some reason its easier to bring back people who have been dead for a longer time.

He was killed for turning his back on former Confederate leader Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich), so Turnbull and his assistant, Michael Fassbender, killed his family, scarred his face and killed him. Or so he thought! Then Hex killed him back, or so he thought!

Later he is a bounty hunter, living on the DL. Sometimes screwing Megan Fox. But the US government wants to hire him, because Turnbull is assembling a great weapon designed by Eli Whitney, that can destroy a nation on the 100th anniversary of America. Aidan Quinn plays President Grant and Will Arnett a high ranking officer (hah!).

Trick is to not look him in the mouth.

So this movie has a lot of negative stigma behind it. I guess bad acting mostly being why. And it is true, casting choices didn’t make sense. Why is Will Arnett in a “serious” action movie? Or Malkovich. He was the oddest casting for me, as main bad guy. I don’t think it worked at all. The only decent role would be Brolin as Hex. I’d say Quinn as President, but he really didn’t have many scenes.

But interestingly enough I actually found a lot of the action early on great. It didn’t bog me down with a lot of back story at the beginning, but gradually showed it throughout the movie. Was great to get you right into the story. Unfortunately the action by the end was a lot less interesting than the beginning. So poor ending, poor acting. That is a poor movie.