Day: December 15, 2011

True story alert! Kind of.

Burke and Hare (which has been a movie before) is loosely based on the murders committed by William Burke and William Hare in Scotland in the 1800s.

The main difference is that the 70s version was a horror, so presumably scary. The modern version is a dark comedy, and thus well…strange.

I feel like they are staring into my soul.

Burke and Hare are played by Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis respectfully. The movie is narrated by Angus the Hangman, played by Bill Bailey, who begins the story with a hanging, of course. The corpse is normally sold to the highest bidder, between two doctors, Tom Wilkinson and Tim Curry. They both teach at medical schools and use the bodies for dissections, (While Curry is having to resort to live patients).

Burke and Hare are down in the dumps! They are out of cash, and all of their plans go awry. When Hare’s wife mentions an Inn-patron died, they give the body to Wilkinson, and receive a nice fund. They enter a deal that if they can give him two bodies a week, they will be handsomely rewarded! First they attempt to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but they aren’t fit for dissection. Bones and what not only.

So instead? Murder! Specifically those about to die (at first). Or bad people. Or whatever. Soon they also get mixed up with blackmailers. Aka someone they have to give money too for “protection”. Hare wants to save up money to start a funeral parlor business (Which may be the first of its kind). Burke spent a lot of his money on the production of an all woman theater group for MacBeth. Starring Isla Fisher of course.

But eventually people get suspicious. WILL THEY BE CAUGHT? (this is history, yes, kind of). WILL THEY HELP SCIENCE? (yes) IS THAT CHARLES DARWIN OVER THERE? (yes). Well that’s cool.

The movie was decently funny. Simon Pegg was not with his normal ensemble that you always see, but instead with Smeagol. That was a change.

But the thought of this guy being a murderer? Easy to grasp.

I am sure a lot of the history was embellished, but it is definitely and interesting story. Parts were decently amusing, but amusing is really as far as it went. I liked all the science tidbits in the movie, especially the scene at the end where they showed where William Burke is today. Who doesn’t love movies that give you those tidbits at the end?

I have a question, America. (Yes, I assume no foreign countries read this. Outside of that one German person). Whats up with Beyonce? Why does America like her so much? She wasn’t even my favorite Destiny’s Child member, but she got this big solo career, where her singles seem to be hit or miss from me. Never do I think a song is just okay, either hate or like. Not the best track record in my book.

But as someone who majors in Movie watching, and minors in Music Video watching, maybe I am just upset that she won Music Video of the year with that one shitty video.

This intro was just to make sure Kanye, if he was a reader, stopped reading out of disgust.

Obsessed tells a simple tale that seems to be more popular nowadays. No longer is there just simple tales of sexual harassment. But there are lots of examples in media of the woman making it all up, just to ruin a “highly successful” business man. Possibly even having the woman threatening to tell their wife they had sex, UNLESS they actually have sex (used in both Horrible Bosses and King Of The Hill). It is a believable concept, just because “Bitches be crazy yo“.

But also just probably the man keeping the woman down. I dunno.

ANYWAYS! Idris Elba is some successful business man. He married his now wife, Beyonce, who used to be his secretary. They have a kid! Since then he hasn’t had another woman secretary. Unfortunately, due to colds, a temp is brought in to eventually be his secretary, played by Ali Larter. Right away, you know she is crazy. She wants her some Idris. You just can’t tell if she is doing it on purpose, or actually thinks the lies she tells are truthful.

As an omnipotent viewer, we see everything that happens, and know what is the truth though. So there is no mystery for us. Just the characters. Jerry O’Connell plays “guy at work who Idris tells his side too early on who believes him thankfully”. Obviously Idris makes mistakes that the viewer sees from miles away, but they still make it believable enough so that you think he is trying to just do what is right.

Lartner plays a good job of obsessed/crazy woman, and Elba does a good job of “shit what the fuck is going on with you woman?”. Beyonce? Eh, not as good. Seems like her role was pointless until the end, and I am sure someone else could have done a better job of “Don’t you lay another FINGER on my man” angry woman.

Although that face is a nice start.

I feel as though letting us see the whole film through everyone’s point of view, instead of just Elba’s or just Beyonce’s makes it lose its appeal. There is no guessing for the viewer. They know Larter is lying and crazy, and they assume Beyonce will eventually realize it. Although an interesting story, we must realize that most people wouldn’t lie about sexual harassment though. So it is a serious thing.