Day: October 17, 2011

I first saw the preview for Conviction on the movie Never Let Me Go. It also had previews for things like 127 Hours, Black Swan (which is acclaimed, despite my dislike) and Cyrus (which I will have to watch soon).

Anyways readers, help me out. Hilary Swank‘s voice. Does she always do accents? Is her voice just super…southern a lot of times? I looked up a Million Dollar Baby trailer, and it seemed similar to Conviction, and I don’t remember how her voice was in that. But in an interview, I couldn’t tell if it was weird or what. So let me know, does she have an intense accent, or is she acting it in all these movies?

To me her voice is almost as mysterious as her goofy smile.

This is another true story. Sam Rockwell goes to jail for a murder he didn’t commit in the 80s. Swank goes to school to get her GED then BA then Law Degree while being a single mother and divorcee. She eventually gets DNA proof of innocence, but still cannot free brother. More problems, more solutions, until everyone is happy. Yay! Just took 18 years out of the dude’s life, but everything worked out well!

Obviously Rockwell isn’t the focal point of this movie, he does a fine job, but it is all pretty much on Swank’s shoulders. More or less this is one of those “punch you in the face yet somehow you still keep moving on” movies, in her journey to freeing her brother from prison. I really didn’t think I would tag this actress more than once, but Ari Graynor, my favorite part of Lucky, played the daughter of Rockwell, that he of course never got to know. Her role was limited, but also great.

Usually with punch you in the face –> overcome movies you feel great at the end, as the character you begin to cheer for the whole time. This is no exception. It was well done, pretty much everyone played their roles appropriately. I was a little bit confused in the beginning, as it seemed to jump around, but this movie accomplishes everything it sets out to do.

Oh yeah. He is innocent alright. Can’t you tell?

Gotta love watching movies you know nothing about, and being surprised. A feeling we here at Gorgon Reviews love to take away from the readers.

Alright, what I did know about this movie is that it stars Luke Wilson, and involves becoming mad wealthy by being a Middle Man of some way.

I cannot comment if any of this is true. But parts must be kind of factual, based off, well, logic. It says based off of true events, apparently one of the producers was in a similar situation earlier in his life? Not sure. Lets pretend it is all true though.

How do you pretend? You go to Imagination Land! Imaginationnnnnnnnnnn

The way they tell the story is very nifty, at the beginning it goes back and forth through a 10 or so year period. The story is of Luke Wilson, a guy who fixes problems, and two dudes who accidentally start a revolution, Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht. They are two dumbasses, who in 1997, get the idea to have porn on the internet. What they actually develop well is a way to take credit card information from the internet and charge people, apparently something never considered before. Luke helps them realize they are thinking too small, and should just focus on the credit card information, letting the porn people do the porn. After they set up a safe name for the company, so people can jerk it in the comforts of their own home, they can make jillions!

Also apparently I am the kind of guy to only make cartoon jokes in a review of a movie about pr0n? As you would be expected, there are quite a few naked boobies in this movie. Wilson does a great job of playing his role. The two other guys similarly do a good job of playing the “dumb ass” roles.

Parts of the movie lulled in the middle, and I wouldn’t say I got confused at times, but I did get a bit overwhelmed. Either way, this was a pretty interesting story. Predictable outcome, maybe, but just how it got there is an interesting tale.

Science fiction! Aliens! LA getting fucked over, again. These are the thoughts that I had about this movie before I knew what it was about. Which is pretty much true.

One of the many times LA has been fucked over, in recent years.

First off the movie was definitely beautiful on the Blu-Ray. Top notch cameras and CGI work. Technically this is just another alien invasion story, but this time they seem to include no battle ready war vets, no battle ready army people, nothing. Just a few regular people. The actual cast list on this thing must be low, minus random party people, random people on roofs, etc. Never really pay any attention to them anyways.

Skyline is the title, more or less, because I guess the ships are in the sky? It could be better. The main lead is Eric Balfour, but other people are played by some of America’s favorite TV stars. Detective Angel Batista from Dexter, and Dr. Turk Turkleton from Scrubs.

These group of regulars and some ladies find themselves in a big Las Vegas penthouse/hotel thing, when Aleins come down! They have crazy blue lights, and when people stare at them, they tend to kind of ‘lose their mind’ and walk towards the stuff. Bad things. In fact, that was a pun because these bad boys tend to steal brains. Why? I try not to spoil shit, so stop asking.

The ending is kind of ehh though. They could have did what they wanted, without doing all that they did. They did just too much so that they inadvertantly started a new story, and then just stopped it. And by stopped it, I mean the ending credits flashed scenes that happened next too, which was just annoying. Small movements, and that is it. Some bullshit way of setting up a sequel, that may or may not happen. YOU DON’T HAVE TO JUST STOP SUDDENLY TO SET UP SEQUELS GUYS, STOP DOING THAT. But should there be one, it will take on an entirely different tone from the first film. Hopefully less Eric Balfour too, who just has a face that makes it seem like he will rape everyone.

Bet you were expecting a picture of Flynn here, weren’t you?

I think generally I give every movie 1 less rating if the ending made me mad/felt incomplete. So there ya go.

Damn you Jerry Bruckheimer Films!

And the man himself while we are at it.

Here is brief history of Pirates for me. PotC1? Loved it. PotC2? Hated how long it was and found the ending to be a nonconclusive end to the story. I hate it when movies end but not close the story, forcing you to see a sequel. So I didn’t. Never saw PotC3. Pretty much the same thing that happened with the Matrix Trilgoy for me. Almost did a few weeks ago, but figured it would be too long. When I heard PotC4 had nothing to do with the original trilogy, minus Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp, I said “Fuck yeah!”

In this movie, Geoffrey Rush is back as Barbossa, but there is also Ian McShane as Blackbeard! And Penelope Cruz as Blackbeard’s daughter! The latter two are obviously new people. Blackbeard! Rawr! He is the bad guy! So is Barbossa. Kinda. But yes. Also the British are involved. And the Spanish.

They are going to the Fountain of Youth! But can’t go straight there, obviously have to collect a few things first. I did enjoy the mermaid scenes. Reminded me of the underwater dead walk stuff going on, that made the first really epic. The first mermaid looked like Amanda Seyfried too. Even though I generally always hate the scenes where Jack is messing with the Brits, the opening escape scene was pretty nifty. The unknown guy who played the priest, Sam Claflin, was my favorite new person added to the series, and when they unfortunately make more of these, I hope he is the next Bloom. [He wont be].

So I was going to give this movie a solid 2. It was interesting, pretty, not the best. But reminded me too much of 2 in terms of what happens, scenery, and what not. Most of the things are predictable, especially all of the ending, which is lame. But after the ending? RAGEEE! Sure parts were finished, but the ending was another bullshit ending. Not as bad as the second, but bullshit nonetheless. Fuck fuck fuck fuck that.

I can’t believe I did this whole review without a single Pirates joke. Oh damn it!

1 out of 4.