Tag: Patricia Clarkson

What a promising film franchise to fall from grace so quickly. I quite enjoyed the first Maze Runner film, and I was excited for where it was going. I was also excited because they said the final book would only be one film, not broken up like other bad franchises.

Except the sequel, The Scorch Trials, was awful and repetitive. I have been told it deviated far from the book, unlike film number one, and it shows given it seemed to lack any direction or reason for existing.

And on to the final film, The Death Cure! Which was supposed to come out last year, but the star got hurt early into filming. He was hurt in March, 2016, and from his injuries, recovery time, and other commitments, the filming didn’t continue until March, 2017. A whole year delay! And now we are given a January release, where you know they don’t really give a shit about what they are dropping.

Oh, young adult dystopian book gods. This is the final piece of the final film to finish, as the others along the way either ended with a whimper or ended before they could end. Or in The Fifth Wave’s case, it was dead on arrival.

No matter what, remember that after it, it will all be over for at least two years before something else tries to recreate the Twilight and Hunger Games crowd.

Before Newt can shoot, he turns into a Final Fantasy character.

This third and final film is set sometimes after the second, months even. The resistance arm has been destroyed for the most part by WKCD, with several people getting taken including Minho (Ki Hong Lee), thanks to Teresa (Kaya Scodelario) switching sides, again. But don’t worry, if the Right Arm wants to do anything, it wants to destroy WCKD, run away to safety, and save Minho. Just Minho. Literally who gives a shit about the rest, if they get saved and aren’t Minho then they are not done.

So Thomas (Dylan O’Brien), Newt (Thomas Brodie-Sangster), Brenda (Rosa Salazar), Frypan (Dexter Darden), and even Vince (Barry Pepper) and Jorge (Giancarlo Esposito) try to save Minho. They don’t, they save 40 other kids, whoops. But doing so they find out they are headed to the Last City, somehow protected from the Cranks and the infection, where WKCD has their headquarters. A final showdown, to save Minho? Sure, why not.

Of course, while in the city they find out that there are other resistance groups around, one led by a Lawrence (Walton Goggins) who is super close to turning into a Crank, but has a serum supply. And oh, hey look, there is Gally (Will Poultier)! Long time no see, dick buddy. Anyways, there new goal is to break into an unbreakable city, get their boy Minho back, then escape into the wind to be immune on a beach somewhere. Whether or not Ava Paige (Patricia Clarkson) and Janson (Aidan Gillen) get dealt with would just be bonus.

Ah yes, those buildings are currently in tact, so I declare it a city!

For those who don’t want to be spoiled, let this paragraph be the last thing you read. Basically, this film is the bee’s anus. Some characters do actions with zero motivation or reason to these actions. The heroes literally care about only saving one person for the most part. The heroes are a bunch of jerks and are generally wrong. There are many sacrifices that are unnecessary. And it is so goddamn long and disappointing.

But while watching this movie, I knew I needed to be specific. I knew I needed to talk about certain things that pissed me off and they constitute spoilers. So here we go, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Let’s start with the baddest bad guy, Janson, who really wants to kill Thomas but is still charismatic and calm. Except for at the end when he decides to shoot and kill Ava Paige for no reason. Literally, they were still on the same side with the same goal, to get the cure from Thomas, and Janson kills her. She and him are friends. But he is sooooo bad that he kills her, only to make the ending more chaotic and stupid.

And really, in terms of bad guy actions, that is the only real super bad guy action. Because it turns out that WKCD was right all along. They wanted to get a cure from the immune people. They knew it could be done, they just needed the right people. In the second film they clearly went about it the wrong way, but Teresa, still a good guy (?) just wanted to make sure all the Cranks could be saved and everyone else. And guess what! She totally could make a real cure from Thomas’ blood, who had special blood because he was lucky, and he didn’t have to get tortured or anything for it to be made.

But who gives a shit about that. Nope, WKCD gets destroyed. Teresa dies sacrificing herself for Thomas, when there was no reason for her to sacrifice herself. And all for what? For Thomas and the good guys to run off to a beach and start their own community…while the rest of the world becomes Cranks and die off? Holy fuck. Thomas is a character who gives no fucks about saving the world, just himself, and the community act like this is a great thing that they did in the end. When the other option was to HELP THE WORLD they HELPED THEMSELVES instead.

Speaking of good bad guys and selfish heroes, the death count in this and the last film are pretty big, especially when a war is raged in the city. The city is the WKCD headquarters, but it is also a lot of other regular people just doing their own thing. So all of these people get fucked over in this giant fight, when only one place should be the real target. And none of it had to happen if Thomas just sort of realized and done the right thing.

On that note, if his blood really was special and had the cure, how the fuck did WKCD not know it before hand? He literally worked for them before he went into the maze, with Teresa. If they suspected immunity, they should have had him undergo tests, and the whole film series really doesn’t make sense at that point. They would have had the cure early enough to get it various places, save even more lives, and Thomas would have been glad to do it.

But no. Beach. Safe. Fuck the world. End of film. I am glad to know that the second film is very different from the book, because it means it must be true of the third film and third book as well. I want to read the series just to see how much worse these films ended up being in retrospect.

Surprise, surprise. That was my emotion when I left The Maze Runner movie last year. Going into it, I thought I would hate it. I thought it would just be another terrible young adult movie adaptation that a company wanted to film to get that sweet post-Twilight money. It had a laughably bad trailer with some cringe dialogue, but I left it excited and wanting more.

Sure, I knew that whatever happened, there should be no more mazes after the first one, so calling it Maze Runner anything afterwards doesn’t make a lot of sense. Blame that on the author not coming up with a better series name.

This time, for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (dropping the “The” was a solid choice), I am going in basically blind. I haven’t seen trailers for it or TV spots. I just want it to surprise me with whatever else is going to happen. This review is also so late because I wasn’t able to attend the press screening for the film, because I instead saw The Visit. Regardless of what has happened, this franchise has gotten some money out of me.

They don’t have to tie me up like these poor saps. Besides, I don’t carry loose change.

Remember where we left off? We got out of the fucking maze, that’s what. The evil Corporation WCKD (Wicked) who was testing on them have been killed and resistance group has saved them. Yay!

Or are they really the good guys? The first film already implied they were bad, so things shouldn’t be too weird to assume they are indeed bad. Even though they are being taken care of by the wonderful Janson (Aidan Gillen). The surviving crew is immediately debriefed, checked up physically, and welcomed into the facility. Forget who we have? Well, there is our main dude Thomas (Dylan O’Brien), the certifiable GOAT Minho (Ki Hong Lee), the minority, Frypan (Dexter Darden), and the sweet one, Newt (Thomas Brodie-Sangster). Yeah, I too am surprised at how few of them made it out. I really thought there was more.

Oh yeah, and then there is the woman, Teresa (Kaya Scodelario). She doesn’t have a lot of personality so I forget about her.

Needless to say, bad things happen at the new facility, so Thomas and Crew end up escaping. They gain the help of Aris (Jacob Lofland) and Winston (Alexander Flores), who helm them realize this place isn’t good. They are collecting kids from all over these mazes for some …wicked…reason.

Now they have to go into The Scorch, the name for the desert, and survive against the elements. And against the Cranks, which are like the infected humans that they are immune to. Basically zombies. Then they basically go from area to pre-established area, each with their own notable leader, who have their own new world agendas. They are kind of like a fleeting Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

Along the way they will meet Rosa Salazar, Giancarlo Esposito, Alan Tudyk, Barry Pepper, Lili Taylor, and of course, Patricia Clarkson.

But first, they are going to get sand in every nook and cranny.

At over two hours, The Scorch Trials thankfully tries to fit as much as possible onto the screen for us viewers. So much that it is hard to imagine the film as a whole. I’d rather break it down, which means I am going to make another Likes and Dislikes list. Last time I did this was with Avengers: Age of Ultron!

Likes:

• Right off the bat, things get tense and there is quite a lot of action in this movie.
• The soundtrack can keep you mostly on the edge of your seat!
• The Cranks/zombies are an interesting add on to the series. They are fast zombies basically and it was totally unexpected. Some of there scenes were quite terrifying, helping blend this into a more hardcore Dystopian future film.
• For the most part, beautifully shot with great camera work.

Dislikes:

• The intelligence of the characters would not be consistent. They would do something really smart, but then something terribly stupid just so the plot could lazily move forward. The standing around during the sewer scene is a prime example.
• There continues to be very cringeworthy dialogue.
• The film feels like it doesn’t have a cohesive story to follow. Just a bunch of small barely connected parts. And like I said, the main characters don’t feel special, they just feel like they are meandering in the middle of something way bigger than themselves and they are insignificant.
• One scene in particular where a character does a “Noble Suicide” because he is going to turn into a Crank. How? By shooting himself in the head and telling everyone to leave him alone an keep walking. Not only was I pretty sure they were out of bullets by then, but also what the fuck, you are about to die, you don’t need to keep the gun. Just kill yourself so they can get the gun back. There are fucking zombies out there.
• The glass breaking window scene was as nonsensical as they come.
• Teresa was so useless. She was like an emotionless blog used to move the plot forward, usually thanks to Thomas trying to do something for her.

This may read as being a bit nitpicky, but in all honesty, there were a lot of cool moments, and a lot of bad minor or stupid moments. After a second movie I feel like I should actually know more about what happened on this planet. If there is one movie left I feel like I should know more about their overall end goal by now, instead of running around like headless chickens.

I was pretty sure I would have given this film a 2 when I started writing it, because at least I was entertained in the film and I was even scared at points. But a disappointing finale, along with a lot of scenes that made me tilt my head in confusion, leads me to realize this is poorly put together. When your film starts to break down once you think back on events and plot points, that is never a good sign.

Hell, this is the same reason why the last Transformers movie got a 1 instead of a 2. Plot doesn’t hold up. Hopefully the third movie can restore some sort of awe and greatness to this franchise. And, you know, not just be a spray painted golden turd.

Buy It! – This movie is available now on {Blu-Ray} and {DVD}.

With The Maze Runner coming to theaters, I believe this is the 143rd young adult novel turned into a film. It is also the 87th dystopian novel. And the next half movie hasn’t even come out yet!

Needless to say, the trailers at least looked a bit entertaining. However, I also knew this book series had 3 or 4 books in it. There is no way at the end of the book the guys are still in this giant maze thing, right? Like. The later books have to deal with something else.

That worries me. I feel like without knowing a lot about it, the story can’t possibly go anywhere. It’d be like having a sequel, but having nothing similar to the first but the characters? I don’t get it. Well. Maybe their could be a bigger and badder maze. Or maybe they can introduce more women to their society.

Because the only penetrating that happened here was through this hole.

Elevator shaft. Darkness. Open sky. Big group of men. Sounds like my idea of a party.

However, for poor Thomas (Dylan O’Brien), this looks like a nightmare. He is in a field with a small wooded area. And of course surrounded by lots of dudes and giant towering walls.

Not only that, but they have a few rules. No hurting others, do you part, and never go into the maze. What? A giant maze? What is even more infuriating about those rules is that he gets hurt quite a few times in the first day, by many people, most notably the asshole Gally (Will Poulter).

Either way. They are stuck there. Once a month a new boy comes up with supplies and that is all they know. The doors to the maze close at night too, with scary creatures on the inside. So they best bet is to figure out the maze and escape but only when it is daylight.

He just has to become a runner first if he really wants to help. But it up to the “elder” Alby (Aml Ameen) and Newt (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) before that can happen.

Also there is Ki Hong Lee as the best runner, Blake Cooper as some fat reject comic relief kid, Kaya Scodelario as a girl who comes and messes things up, and Patricia Clarkson as a mysterious woman.

This dude I know named Adam blames everyone on women though, so who knows if we can take his word for it.

First of all, The Maze Runner made fantastic use of its time. Just a little bit under two hours and every minute seems to count. Either for world building, character development, or continuing the plot. Awesome. We are also not given some shitty exposition at the beginning or end to explain things. It just tells the story through the characters.

I thought the special effects were pretty rad as well. The spider creatures in the maze were pretty unique and a bit scary at times.

And overall? Pretty dang entertaining. I would even describe myself as someone who is interested in the future movies. I would read the books, but it will probably take them another 5 years to get the other 3 books out (the last one split into three parts or some bullshit probably), so I will wait a long time for that.

But it wasn’t perfect of course. You can watch the trailer and find that out. A character utters “What if we were put in here for a reason?”

No. No fucking way. Really? You don’t remember a thing from your past but you wake up in an elevator with a bunch of other people who were put in there one at a time? AND THERE MIGHT BE A FUCKING REASON? Just die. Seriously.

Yes. I will rage over a line as bad as that one.

There were other errors as well. I noticed at least once where items just disappeared that a person had and was just forgot about I guess. Not the best dialogue choices.

The movie is definitely a bit darker and more entertaining than I expected. So yeah, let’s do more.

Sometimes, titles tell the entire story.

Other times, they tell you jack shit. Seriously. The East? I am a fan of cardinal directions as much as the next guy, but the title should try to grab in viewers. It should be special.

I feel like I know nothing going into this film! Oh wait, that is completely true. Sexy. I love blank slates. I just hope I don’t get it confused with The West.

Shit, that joke was so weak, it brought one of our main characters to drinking.

Eco-terrorism often gets frowned upon…and rightfully so. Fuck terrorism in general, but I kind of super hate eco-terrorism. Eco-terrorism punishes humans for crimes against the environment or animals, which is never never okay. Seriously. Humans are far more important than both of those things, so I really hate it. Fuck PETA, fuck Whale Wars, fuck all of that stuff.

Hmm, I hope I am not biased.

The East is an secret Eco-Terrorist group that may be a complete fiction. The film starts with a few of their members throwing mass quantities of crude oil into a rich guys AC unit, probably ruining his house. He also was responsible for an oil spill and didn’t really try to get his company to clean it up. That is more acceptable I guess.

Sarah (Brit Marling) gets a job at the start of the film in a company lead by Sharon (Patricia Clarkson). Long story short, she is to find and infiltrate The East movement. They are a security company, and they want to prevent future attacks on their customers, while also proving that they have the best intelligence unit.

Guess what, she does it! Yay. Being smart is awesome. She is able to find their small mountain society, with a very free spirit loving culture. It is lead by no one, technically, but we all know it is lead by Benji (Alexander Skarsgard), because he is charismatic and has a beard. Other high members include Izzy (Ellen Page), Luca (Shiloh Fernandez) and Doc (Toby Kebbell), a doctor. Nice name, doctor.

As Sarah tries to work to destroy the society from within, she must first become one with their ways and ideals. Like every spy cult movie before it, she might have some difficulty keeping her own priorities straight and not getting lost in the message.

Kumbaya at 8, bottle spinning at 830, and sleep by 9! Hooray.

Yeah, I know I came in a bit biased, hating eco-terrorist groups, but really, I don’t think that affected my thoughts on this movie.

They don’t do too many acts in the actual film, because they don’t want the new girl knowing too much right away. Pretty smart, given the circumstances. The reason my biases shouldn’t matter is that the only two or so acts that they do in this film are all pretty reasonable. They are both related to punishing people for hurting other people, a noble endeavor. They both also prove a point in a way that makes sense. Again, I am fine with what the group did.

The acting itself is decent overall, but not anything I haven’t seen before.

I, however, hated the ending of this movie. It was a mess. I can say I didn’t see it coming, but eh, a shocking ending doesn’t mean it is any good. I say it was a mess, because there was so many ways it could have gone, that when it finally decided on a path, it then immediately ended and I was just left wondering why? Why is that the best actions to take? To me, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, so I almost felt like I wasted two hours getting to that point.

Again, decent acting, I especially liked the Ellen Page “lake side” scene. That sounds pervy, but really it was for the good acting. Just it had a plot that I was unable to ever really get attached to, with a poor ending.

I am shocked that it took me so long to watch Vicky Cristina Barcelona. First off, it has actors/actresses I like in it. Second, I actually kept putting it on my schedule, and just putting it off. Thirdly? Someone once called it ‘Ménage à trois: the movie” to me. I mean, seriously. How did I just not stop what I was doing and watch it immediately?

The other fun note about this movie? While I worked at Blockbuster, there was like, eighteen copies of this movie for sale the whole time. Eighteen! I ended up buying a Wal-Mart copy, because it was the same price and new.

Is this the trois moment? Is it?!

Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) are going to Barcelona! And now we have the movie title. They are going to stay there for a few months with relatives of Vicky (Patricia Clarkson, Kevin Dunn) because they have a big house and their children are all gone. Sweet. Vicky actually has a legitimate reason, some how her masters studies involves Spain. Cristina is just there for the support and adventure!

They also have different views on love, complete opposite, so much so that the narrator deems it important! Cristina is a free spirit, and rushes through things, flames out quickly. Vicky likes real romance and patience and long commitments. That explains why she has a fiancé (ramping up the French here people. For a movie about Spain) with Doug (Chris Messina).

But one night at a museum, they run into a local artist Juan (Javier Bardem), who looks like he just wants to seduce whoever is easier. Even invites them to an Island for awhile. Clearly things are going well for Juan and Cristina, but she gets sick, so Juan has to spend a lot of time with Vicky instead. Moment of weakness, and boom, sex. Awkwardness arises when Cristina then gets better and continues her relationship with Juan, whoops. Even moves in with him. He kind of likes both, with Vicky realizing that she doesn’t love her husband anymore.

But nope. Then the crazy ex-wife Maria (Penelope Cruz) shows up. She has to stay with them too, because she is on suicide watch. And well, maybe Juan has feeling still for her. And Vicky. And Cristina.

Damn, that is a lot of lovin’.

Yeah, jokes on you, that previous picture had Cruz not Hall.

Of course this is a Woody Allen movie. For whatever reason I didn’t know that before hand, but now that I do afterwards it makes perfect sense. He does have that mini obsession with Scarlett Johansson after all, like a lot of men. Most of us don’t put her in movies though.

This film was definitely both quirky and natural, which is a weird feeling. But after it all, I wondered what was the point. Is it to live life however you want, regardless of what other people think? To always question where you are in life? I don’t even know.

What I did see was an okay story, that did go places I wasn’t expecting, but doesn’t seem like the type of film I’d ever see again.

When I saw the poster for Lars and the Real Girl years ago I assumed it had to be some sort of joke. If not a joke, then some sort of horribad movie, that was on the levels of Epic Movie and other such trash. Some comedy where they have a guy buy a sex doll, and treat her like a real person? Go bowling with her maybe? That sounds stupid.

And it would have been. If it was a straight comedy “oh look at how silly that guy is!” type of thing. Instead it treats the subject way more seriously, involving social disorders, and a whole small christian town coming together to help one person.

You know. If that bitch Bianca would stop talking so loudly in Church.

Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a weird guy. He lives in the garage of his brother (Paul Schneider) and sister-in-law (Emily Mortimer). He tends to keep to himself, goes to work, rarely talks to the cubicle-mate, goes to church, sits in the back trying to not make a sound. Never goes to the parties that people throw, or special occasions. Work, church, home. Hell, despite Emily’s best efforts, most of the time he refuses to come eat meals with them. She really wants to break him out of his shell.

Well at work he finds out about the anatomically correct love dolls. Next thing you know, he is telling his family he has a girlfriend, who flew in from Brazil, but she doesn’t speak much English, and is in a wheel chair. They are excited! Sure she can stay in one of their rooms! Sure she can come to dinner. And yeah, Bianca the love doll.

They convince him to take her to a doctor, Patricia Clarkson, who also is a psychiatrist, who lets Lars know she has to come back every week, mostly so she can talk to Lars and work this stuff out. From his social disorder, she realizes no one could convince him that she isn’t real, so she makes the family go along with it. And this spreads to the church, work, and whole town. Perhaps most upset is Kelli Garner, who plays Margo, the office worker who really liked Lars, but not that he has a woman. If she looks familiar, it is because she was in Pan-Am, but that had 12~ episodes, so she probably doesn’t look familiar.

Soon the whole town is using Bianca, and she is volunteering at more and more places, with the help of Lars. Lars begins to come out of his shell, hold better conversations with people, even when Bianca is not around. But how will he cope when Bianca’s sickness turns deadly?

“This woman has no pulse!”

Overall, I was astounded at how good this movie was. The acting was phenomenal on all parts, and it seemed to capture the essence of a small Northern/mid-west Christian town. Or at least what I imagine what those are like from the movies.

This is years before Ryan Goslings more famous performances from 2011, Crazy Stupid Love, Drive, and The Ides Of March, yet it turns out he kicked ass back then too. A lot of his acting had to come from facial tics, and the way he spoke, but the whole time you felt bad for the guy and hoped he could eventually himself become a real man.

One Day is a British movie, based on the British book of the same name. Creative right? In fact, this book was apparently so good, it was made into a movie pretty damn quick from when it came out. But why is it called One Day?

Because it tells the story of a man and a woman. On one day of the year. For twenty years. July 15, 1989-2009, to be exact.

St. Swithun’s day and Eddie Griffin‘s birthday. But I am sure you knew that.

Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess play the main two roles, and thus are the only people that matter. It starts with them graduating from some UK college, and spending the night together. They decided to be friends, and over the next many years they end up working on their goals to be famous and be a writer. Also with different (sometimes plentiful) lovers, and at different times loving the other. Very unfortunate.

What is fortunate is that so much happened on July 15 between them. Pretty handy! It also has Patricia Clarkson, as the mother of Jim. I don’t think Anne’s parents are talked about at all.

You know what I don’t care about? Accents. To say someone from an area has the “wrong English accent” or a bad accent, or whatever, sounds completely stupid. All people from an area do not talk identical. It is based on how they hear a lot of their earlier words. Parents and shit. I will never care about someone’s accent, and if it is “real” enough or not, because technically, there isn’t a real accent at all. To do that would be stereotyping, people.

(There is also complaints that her accent changes throughout the movie. Which makes sense, as she moves around to different parts of Europe in the movie, and overtime, that shit changes.)

It was probably hard for them to find people who could look the ages of 22-42, or whatever the range may be. They change their hairstyles a bunch and do a pretty good job. They also make Anne look like the adult female version of Harry Potter at the beginning.

You’re welcome for that.

The story was interesting, and of course sad at a lot of parts. Sometimes the “date” that was flashed on the screen was hard to see, and I wouldn’t necessarily know it was a new year. They should have been less clever with that. It was an okay story. Probably rushed, compared to a novel. I think there definitely could have been more. Decent movie, but not the best. Also, there is some nakedness, which is shocking for a PG-13 movie, but not shocking for an Anne Hathaway movie.

HEY LOOK. A movie that takes place in Durham, NC! And by takes place, I mean the setting. I don’t think it was actually filmed here at all. And storyline wise, the descriptions of Durham don’t make any sense.

In Main Street, Durham is noted as a community hurt by both the economy and jobs leaving, and you know, tobacco shit. But, they make it seem like there is ZERO economy there. The town is struggling, city government is listless with no idea how to do anything. It is also made to seem smaller than it is, and Durham is pretty damn big. Also has those dumb colleges, and is in Research Triangle and what not. Oh well.

Didn’t even mention their famous minor league baseball team!

Not many characters in the movie either, but some bigger names. Colin Firth plays a stranger from Vernon, Texas, Orlando Bloom a local cop taking law school night classes, who is trying to woo Amber Tamblyn, who was briefly in the show House. Also, there is Ellen Burstyn, now poor owner of a few warehouses that used to be use for Tobacco, and her niece Patricia Clarkson.

Firth comes to town to rent the warehouses, and even though he tries to tell Ellen what for, she doesn’t want to know. But her niece gets her suspicious, especially when she sees guards at the door. It turns out he works for an environmental corporation who deal with hazardous waste disposal. Oh shit, awkward. They are looking for a new place to also build a plant to help deal with it, which could create thousands of jobs in the area, and help Durham out of the slump.

But. You know. Hazardous waste. Is Durham ready to move on from one harmful substance to another?!

I loved the acting in the movie. Accents did not bug me, because I am not picky about that. What bugged me was the ending. With the movie being about 85 minutes or so long, it doesn’t take long. But there is a lot of set up for little to no pay out. At the length and definitely unfinished story, it just felt like a long TV pilot for a show, that could have gone further. It had two serious relationships it could continue to explore, and some family dynamics. It could have continued with the plans to bring in jobs, and environmental concerns, and the old lady trying to move on..

A LOT. But it doesn’t. Just has the “climax” scene and ends soon after. Just kind of meh.

Maybe it was a failed TV pilot released as a movie? Who knows. Google doesn’t.

All hail google! I feel like if I show their picture, they will rank me higher.