Tag: British

Day 2 of Blackweek!

Day 1 featured Blackhat, so we are going to remove our clothing and take a dive in the Black Sea instead.

I’d make a corny joke about what this movie is about and act surprised when it is something different. But how could I do that? It is called Black Sea! That is a real place, right there above Turkey. Huge as shit, important to history. Can’t miss it.

If this movie doesn’t feature the actual Black Sea, I will quit my job as a movie reviewer!

And drive a submarine into the job territory known as “Film Critic Land”.

Under water salvaging can be a tricky job, but someone has to clean that ocean litter. I have been told prisoners are not up to the job, so instead, real people do it and get paid! Like Robinson (Jude Law). Or at least, he used to get paid. Now he is laid off, his company doesn’t want him anymore, his job “redundant.”

But the good news is, now that he is jobless, he has free time to do crazy things. Like get a crew together and search for a rumored Nazi gold! Apparently a U-Boat sunk off the coast of Georgia (IN THE BLACK SEA) with millions and millions of dollars worth of gold bars in it. Some shit involving Germany and Russia. No one has been able to find it, but no one has had Robinson’s skills.

So he gets a backer, a mysterious Lewis (Tobias Menzies) agrees to fund the expedition for 40% of the profits. He gets a crew, half British (like him!) and half Russian (for reasons). They get a really shitty beat up sub and head on down!

But first, they have extra crew. Like Tobin (Bobby Schofield), a neighborhood kid who Robinson brought along for other reasons. And Daniels (Scoot McNairy), a representative of Mr. Lewis.

Our crew only has one translator though between the sets. And a whole lot of money on the line. People migh get all antsy and want to make their cuts a bit bigger. And hey, maybe there are even more twists and turns in line. MAYBE.

Also featuring Grigoriy Cobrygin, Ben Mendelsohn, and Konstantin Khabenskiy.

The movies initials may be BS but this Nazi gold sure is for real!

For the most part, I wouldn’t say I am ever really a fan of submarine movies. I mean, did you see Phantom? That totally was a real movie a couple years ago. Like a submarine itself, submarine movies are kind of limited in terms of what one can do with them. Only so many things can happen on a sub, so a lot of submarine stories end up using the same sort of events. There can only really be one Das Boot.

Despite this, Black Sea had a lot going for it. Enough unique members with a few different desires to make it not a complete one man Jude Law show. It wasn’t just a weird murder mystery thriller. That is what I was most afraid of. And speaking of Jude Law, he did a pretty swell job.

My main issue with it all is the ending. It was lame and cheesy and expected. I was getting pretty excited with how things were going, I was getting super into the story. Then the ending. Meh. I should also note the beginning of the movie is pretty dang slow. It takes awhile to get on the damn submarine, but once they do it, it goes up pretty quickly.

Are you excited? They made a sequel to The Woman in Black!!

Why do I hear crickets? Must be my refusal to try to buy more bug spray. I personally have no idea what anyone else thought about The Woman In Black, and I am far too lazy right now to look something like that up, but I thought it was a dull. Harry Potter did nothing for me. Just was an period piece British film, with a shitty ending, and a shitty everything else also. I would have never guessed a sequel could have happened.

Because now we have The Woman In Black 2: Angel of Death. I have to assume Great Britain went bananas over the first film. I am pretty sure it was a remake or a book or something first, and they probably like anything set in their country.

From what I can tell this thing isn’t even really related to the first movie. Different actors/characters. Maybe a different ghost, but that would be Troll 2 levels of dumb. Honestly, if it has anything to do with the first film, I wouldn’t even remember.

Oh it’s a creepy looking doll that a kid likes. That’s normal in horror now, I guess.

This sequel takes place in World War II, which is either before or after the first film. Again, I remember jack shit about it. We have a very universal concept here. Britain is getting bombed occasionally, so a lot of kids have lost family. Orphans and double orphans. Eve Parkins (Phoebe Fox) is a teacher of orphans, and their school is going to go leave the bustling city of London to live in the countryside instead. You know, where the Nazis should not be bombing. Her headmistress (Helen McCrory), Eve, and a bunch of kids head out to live in an abandoned building, to be safe.

But of course they won’t be safe. This is a horror movie sequel. And it is the country so we have inherently creepy looking people like Hermit Jacob (Ned Dennehy) running around. Thankfully there is a hunky man, a pilot, Harry (Jeremy Irvine), and another guy, the air raid warden (Adrian Rawlins). Gosh, could they be anymore safe?

Anyways. Haunted mansion type movie. Little kids going missing. Mute kid (Oaklee Pendergast) is of course involved, cause that bitch can’t talk.

But oh nelly can he scream. Suuu-eeeee! Suuuu-eeee!

Yawn yawn yawn. No surprise. A sequel to a movie I disliked I didn’t find great. But man, it was just so dang boring. And British. Not that British things can’t be scary. But this doesn’t at all feel like a concept worth even creating. They didn’t add anything new to the horror genre.

It just seems like a ham fisted concept, that vaguely is related to another film, to make money. It is literally Troll 2ing us. Right in front of our eyes. Oh, the ghost is a woman in black, who hates kids? Fits. Done.

Fuckkkk. It is just. It is full of boring characters, boring plot, boring scares, and nothing new. Throwing in a bad ass subtitle doesn’t make a bad ass film. It makes it generic.

Generic horror is maybe worse than generic comedy. Maybe. It’s just the level of mediocrity that we should all avoid in order to make it through the night, actually entertained. Boooo boring. Yay entertainment.

Ah, I do love a good controversy to start a review off.

This movie is called Pride. For most of you, you can take a good guess at part of the subject matter of the movie. For others, it might come to a shock to you that this film deals with gays and lesbians.

In fact, it is about a true story in the 1980’s in Britain! But the US distributors of this film don’t want you to know that. Which is why they have seemingly gone out of your way to mention the gay/lesbian presence in the pictures and description of the film, despite being the main point.

Welcome to 2015, bitches.

And shout it from a megaphone!

1984, and Great Britain was under attack against the scary Iron Lady. Or at least that’s how I picture it.

Movies tell me nothing but bad things about Thatcher, and this one is another one of them. 1984 had a Great Britain Great Miners’ Strike. Thatcher was super anti-Union and so the miners went on strike to make more money. Well, this thing lasted a long time, with whole communities having no income. Kind of harsh, but they had to fight for what they believed in.

Which is what the gays and the lesbians were doing too. Mark Ashton (Ben Schnetzer) decides that they should support the miners openly. They even want to start an organization LGSM, Lesbians and Gays Support The Miners. Sure, the Miners stereotypically would be people who used to beat them up for being “perverts” but Mark knows that a group who people hate should partner with other groups that people hate in order to make bigger noises towards bigger and better changes.

So it is that simple. They will start collecting money for them so that they can afford food and pay the bills, as long as they will accept their money first.

Starring as the perverts, George MacKay, Faye Marsay, Freddie Fox, Andrew Scott and Dominic West. Starring as the pits, Bill Nighy, Imelda Staunton, Paddy Considine, and Jessica Gunning.

The stereotypes are entirely true. The gays dance better than the miners, every day.

A feel good story about overcoming differences between two groups of people to kick ass together! That is what Pride is about. Not just one side or the other, but both.

I’m sure you could tell all of that from reading the description, no matter what country release you had. And hey, sure, it felt a bit standard at times. There were moments that felt like a made for TV film, and then other moments that made sure you knew it was rated R. I wasn’t sure what I would give it rating wise until the very end, when sure enough, they messed with my emotions enough to give me a little bit of a tear or two. Dicks.

And we had a few stand out performances, namely Dominic West/Andrew Scott, and Bill Nighy/Imelda Staunton. Both play couples and both amazing in different ways. Namely also that Dominic West looks like some strange version of Richard Branson in this movie. (I say that about anyone with an accent and long man hair).

Of course, more importantly, I learned a lot about one year in Britain. I have more reasons for movies to tell me why I should dislike Thatcher. And I got to talk about a controversial movie but not in the way it should have been controversial. Diary, today was a good day.

Locke came out a few weeks ago but something about the title or the dvd cover just bugged me. Based on name and cover alone, I figured it was some sort of slow crime movie. Had to push it back. Too much energy to appreciate a slow crime movie.

The reason I finally decided to give it a shot is because I saw The Drop, and gosh darn it, Tom Hardy just keeps impressing me with the roles he has produced. He isn’t just some guy who can bulk up and do action scenes. He is an actor, so I want to see the man act.

Well, it turns out this movie is much better defined as drama. Not drama crime, not drama thriller, just straight up dramatics.

“Hell, I’d watch Tom Hardy just driving a car and talking on the phone.” – Locke’s director

Ivan Locke (Tom Hardy) is a construction foreman who lives and works about 90 minutes outside of London. It is late, another hard days of work, prepping for a huge cement pour job the next day. The biggest in all of England really. A lot of things can go wrong and he is one of the most qualified men to handle it.

You see, Ivan is a hard worker. He has been doing this job for a nearly a decade, he is reliable, a nice guy, a stand up citizen, someone who could do no wrong. His wife and son are waiting for him at home to watch a football match. But as he leaves work, he is heading for London, not for home.

You see, Ivan had a moment of weakness. Seven months ago he had a sexual relationship with a woman. It was incredibly uncharacteristic of him, but it happened. Even though he barely knows her, she is in London now undergoing a premature birth. So now he is trying to make things right. He is going to be with her and see the birth of his baby.

During this time, he had to email that he won’t be in at work tomorrow, one of the most important days. He has to call his wife and tell her of what is going on. He has to call the hospital as the woman is all alone and has no one else to talk to but him. And he has to help the work operation go off without a hitch with a lot of bosses getting mad at him.

The other characters are voiced by Olivia Colman, Ruth Wilson, Andrew Scott, Ben Daniels, and Tom Holland. But you know, we only get one face.

You will get no diversity in pictures from this movie. NONE.

At least from my point of view, Locke was everything that Cosmopolis wanted to be and more. Cosmopolis felt like a weird fantasy film thriller thing, with a lot of it taking place in a limo. It suffered from vagueness despite the good ending.

Locke takes out any vagueness and lays everything bare on the table in front of you, like one of those Nantaimori models.

Technically a type of bottle movie, but also a sort of one man show. Other movies like Buried or Brake feature one man as well, but those men are literally trapped in boxes versus Locke where he is trapped in a sort of moral quandary. The character Locke is very clear with his convictions and unwavering with his goals, and you can’t help to respect that despite his dickish act of betrayal.

It is hard to feel so attached to a character normally, but when truly watching this film you will feel like a silent passenger in the car with him. It is an extremely morally resonant film and one where you won’t necessarily know how to feel by the end.

Movies that examine the human condition and push “normal people” to their breaking point tend to excite me and scare me at the same time. Whether those are based on real or fictitious events. For example, one of the better known examples of a movie I am talking about would be The Experiment, a fictionalized retelling of the experiment that was actually done with similar results.

That is terrifying.

Exam isn’t based on a real test, but it takes elements from those sorts of psychological thrillers.

It could also be considered a bottle epi-uhh. Bottle movie.

Eight people are looking for a job. After passing grueling tests/tasks, none of which are shown or explained, they are the final eight people who are in consideration. There isn’t a lot of knowledge about the job details, but it requires being a leader, making tons of money, and changing their life forever.

We don’t know their real names, each candidate was just given a number, a desk, a paper, and a pencil. One of the candidates decides to call each person by their descriptive name of skin color or hair color and they seem to stick. So we have White (Luke Mably), Black (Chukwudi Iwuji), Brown (Jimi Mistry), Deaf (John Lloyd Fillingham), Asian (Gemma Chan), Blonde (Nathalie Cox), Brunette (Pollyanna McIntosh), and Dark (Adar Beck).

There is one man who tells them the rules, The Invigilator (Colin Salmon).

1) No trying to communicate with him or the guard (Chris Carey) at the door.
2) No spoiling their test.
3) No leaving the room.

They have 80 minutes to answer one question and one question only. Then, you know, the movie plays out.

“How does paper even work, really?”

Exam early on was able to keep my interest. There wasn’t a lot of music, it was just people talking and a lot of mystery up in the air. The viewer watching will want to pay close attention to everything going on to try and figure it out before the movie explains it all. It excelled there.

I was disappointed this wasn’t a real time movie. It is 100 minutes long, and an 80 minute test. They had a few minutes before the timer, and a few scenes after it. It would have been so much more creative to just literally give us an 80 minute exam. But no, time was sped up and skipped on multiple occasions, I think creating a more disappointing movie atmosphere.

Secondly? The ending was kind of…well…dumb in my opinion. They will explain everything to you, but even when they do, it still doesn’t make too much sense. It is the result of trying to be too clever and thus potentially just angering your viewers instead of making them feel enjoyment.

So there you go. An okay acted movie, with a lot of build up, but it all just flattens by the end. Still enjoyed the tense moments and human nature, however.

A few months ago, for whatever reason, I decided to watch a shit ton of random dance movies that came out throughout the years, that I of course ignored. These were the non Step-Up movies, basically. I stopped because Battlefield America really messed with my psyche.

But before that abomination happened, I watched StreetDance, a British dance flick from a few years ago that for whatever reason took over a year to make it to the US. It was okay, very Step-Up based plot, but had a lot better music than the other dancing movies so I gave it a a pass. I knew at the time that a sequel, StreetDance 2 already existed, but wasn’t making it to America until over 1.5 years after it was released in the U.K.

Those jerks. Well, today is my day! Come on, mediocre dance movie!

Huh. Blindfold dancing. I wonder if this will be important at all.

Ash (Falk Hentschel) wants to be a dancer. Well, he dances. But he wants to be great. He challenges the Invincible crew who always wins (random dance competition), but while spinning his moves, he falls down and everyone laughs at him.

Everyone buy one man, Eddie (George Sampson) who wants to be his manager? What? That was quick. Yeah, his manager, and he wants to put him as the leader of a crew to challenge Invincible and take em down.

And what a crew they find! During the opening intro to the movie, we see them shuttle all around Europe. They all have clever-ish names too, like… Steph (Stephanie Nguyen), Tino (Samuel Revell), Skorpion (Brice Larrieu), Bam-Bam (Elisabetta Di Carlo), Killa (Ndedi Ma-Sellu) and his son? Junior (Akai Osei-Mansfield), Ali (Ali Ramdani), Legend (Niek Traa), Yo-Yo (Delphine Nguyen), and Terabyte (Kaito Masai).

But besides making the rag taggiest rag tag group of dancers “All around the world!” (re: Europe), Eddie still claims they are missing something. That is because he was in the last movie and knows what’s up. Last movie infused ballet with street dancing. This movie, this movie Eddie wants to bring in some Latin dancing element. So he goes to some big club, and there they meet Eva (Sofia Boutella) and boyyyyyyyyyyyyy can she dance. But can the team accept the fusion? Can Eva? Can her overbearing but wise Uncle Manu (Tom Conti)?

Or will everything work out magically at the last moment?

Shit, are they also doing invisible fencing?

Well, I guess all I can do is compare this one to the last one.

It definitely is following the same plot line as the first film, maybe even set in the same world. Dance crew, adding traditional dance element. So that is good. Being similar makes sense in a movie series.

But overall, this one is definitely not as good as the first. The crew is less likable, as there are only 3-4 characters who matter I guess. I only was able to get the whole crew down correctly because I wrote their names during the intro. Most of them didn’t have personalities. Junior? There is a fucking kid on this team? What? Meh.

The music is okay. Still better than a regular dance movie, just not as good as the first. I don’t want to go listen to the soundtrack afterwards.

The ending went as expected. The main chracter is currently most well known as a random bad guy from White House Down. And I guess the dancing was a bit worse than the first film too, with more nonsensical plot moments.

All the words put me towards giving this an overall 1, but it was still okay, and better than a lot more current dance movies. So hey. Take what you will from this.

Stop getting excited this instant. The Deep Blue Sea is a different movie than Deep Blue Sea. Note the The. This movie is not about sharks or shark attacks or smart sharks or Samuel L. Jackson.

No, but it does have something else you might enjoy. The potential for Loki jokes.

Some would argue that Loki in a bar is a type of shark…

Turns out this movie is actual a remake of a movie that came out in 1955, and when that came out, it was actually topical. Based on a play only a few years earlier.

The story takes place in the 1950s in England. Hester Collyer (Rachel Weisz) has found herself stuck between a rock and a hard place, (or, I guess, the British expression being the Devil and the deep blue sea. That expression is dumb). She is the younger wife of Sir William Collyer (Simon Russell Beale), a judge of the British High Courts. Very stable lifestyle, decently wealthy, but dreadfully boring.

Which is why she becomes infatuated with Freddie Page (Tom Hiddleston), formerly a member of the Royal Air Force during World War II. He is young, and impulsive, and full of sexual energy. That makes sense, of course Hester falls for him, and eventually gets discovered by her husband.

But after leaving her husband, it isn’t just puppies and rainbows. She may regret her choice to follow lust. What is better: stability or affection?

Or even reflection, if you are looking into a mirror.

Drama drama drama. This film comes at you with its hardcore stance about drama. There are no amusing moments in it, only dramatic. Of course overall it is a sort of Romance as well. Just don’t come in expecting a lighthearted tale.

The acting from the main two lovers is much better than I expected, only knowing Tom as Loki and a smaller role in War Horse. Who knew he could be such a hopeless romantic and also messed up individual? (Clearly it is all just a ruse, his trickster persona).

The only thing that really bothers me about the movie is that I do find it quite hard to really get in to. The story is a powerful one, probably more powerful though in the 1950s when it wasn’t as popular of a story subject as it is now. Because really, my biggest issue with this remake is that it doesn’t offer anything new. The entire plot line of the story I can kind of see coming a mile a way, I know how it will end, and I know what bad decisions the characters will make.

Knowing a train is going to wreck doesn’t mean you can stop it.But eh, the experience is I guess what matters for movies. The acting is good. The story is tragic. But to me there isn’t enough else going on for me to really enjoy it all.

Where will you be, when the zombie apocalypse hits?

That is the question Stalled decides to ask. How I found out about it was basically just dicking around on Netflix though. It’s good to know there are still movies with toilet humor in them, on the internet.

I’ve definitely had poops like this before.

There are many bad places I can think I wouldn’t want to be during the apocalypse. Like, wherever ground zero is. I probably wouldn’t want to be in a super big city population wise. Just means more zombies. I definitely wouldn’t want to be on an island, unless there was a way to block the virus.

Basically, there are a whole lot of places worse than a woman’s restaurant, but not a whole lot weirder. Especially if you are W.C. (Dan Palmer), a janitor for a company, who happens to be in the restroom cleaning/working during the breakout. In a strange twist of fate, while hiding in the stalls because two women came in, one bites the other and it is extremely bloody and awkward for W.C.

What is even more unfortunate is that his tool box that he brought in doesn’t have any of his tools in it, just fat stacks of euros. This totally takes place in the UK, by the way. Strange. Money is good. But super useless now.

So now W.C. has to figure out how he is going to escape from this building, which has a holiday office party going on. At least he has company. It turns out a girl Eve (Tamaryn Payne) was also in a stall the entire time, hiding from when W.C. walked in. At least he has someone to talk to as the zombies prattle on outside of his toilet area. Also starring Mark Holden, as Jeff from IT.

Jeff from IT is pretty much a baller.

Shit. The idea behind this movie was brilliant.

Zombie movies keep trying to find new ways to spice things up. Sometimes they involve never done before locations, but a lot of them now are just changing either the fundamentals of the zombie, making it not really a zombie movie, or changing the genre into something else. Obviously comedy/zombie movies have been around for awhile, but Stalled ends up picking a location and idea never really thought of before. The number of potential sequels is astronomical.

This entire movie is like a Bottle Episode. But on purpose.

Dan Palmer also serves as the writer of this film, so it makes sense why he got the main lead. Overall, the character isn’t really likable. He seems somewhat scummy early on, lying to Eve and doing some pretty deplorable things in that bathroom out of selfishness.

But the movie itself is not only entertaining, but unique and different. And weird. Really, some of the only things I care about in movies. A random watch turned into a very interesting 90 minutes.

I sometimes watch the worse movies. Today’s excuse was going to the rental store, finding out what came out on DVD that day, and picking the weirdest looking one. Shit, I used to watch /every/ new movie that came out on DVD, regardless of how low budget or weird, so I need to do it every so often to get back to my roots.

Well, this time I picked StreetDance. It looked like some bad cross between You Got Served and Step Up. That’s right, a cheap knock off of those two. You know its going to be ridiculous. Or cliche. But as a dance movie, it could secretly be the grail we are all looking or.

These are the bad guys. You know it, because they wear (and are?) black.

Oh yeah. This movie is totally British. Set and filmed in that UK.

A street dance crew, called Jay 2.0 (I believe) is attempting to become the best street dance crew in the UK. Seriously. It opens with their audition to the contest, or whatever. The Surge is a dance crew that has won the last few years, and they are the bad guys. Grr them.

Well, after their performance, they find out that Jay (Ukweli Roach), their leader and obvious name inspiration is going to quit dancing. He has too many responsibilities, and decided to quit right after they qualify. Da fuq? His girlfriend in the group is shocked, and then becomes the defacto leader. Unfortunately, Carly (Nichola Burley) also loses their rehearsal space, and has very little money, so they are basically screwed.

Well, Carly finds herself accidentally in a big ballet studio to inquire about renting space and the cost. Well, Helena (Charlotte Rampling) is worried about her students losing passion in their dance. They can ballet the shit out of some dance, but they don’t have that desire anymore. After watching the crew perform, she agrees to let them use the space for free, only if she will take on five of their dancers.

What?! Ballet and street dance? Can these two art forms interact? Can she teach them how the streets move? Can she incorporate their skillset to make their street dancing even more off the chain? Will she fall out of love with Jay, who is a liar, and fall in love with Tomas (Richard Winsor) the main ballet guy? Yes.

Can you guess if these people are street dancers or ballet dancers?

Fun fact about this movie. It was released theatrically in 2010 in the UK, and came out on DVD by 2011. But not in America. It didn’t come out to the US on DVD until Aug 20, 2013. THREE YEARS after it was released theatrically. I feel slighted by our old country parents.

As expected, a lot of this movie was pretty shitty. Cliches everywhere. They actually ended the movie on a freeze frame of two people raising their arms in the area together, in a moment of triumph. The plot is not unique. They had a food fight when the two groups weren’t friends yet, only so they could throw food for 3D purposes.

But something else happened. The dancing was fantastic. Some of these dance movies I get even more pissed off when I don’t think the dancing is cool enough. This dancing was great. The final dance where they figured out their dances and their knew style to give a unique performance was insanely sexy. It incorporated the street+ballet dance far better than Step Up.

In addition to the great dancing, I liked each and every song on the sound track. A lot of them were mixes with older and newer elements, perhaps creating the theme for the whole film. I enjoyed every song. Here was one of my favorites: Ironik – Tiny Dancer (Hold Me Closer).

Shit. A good soundtrack? Good dancing? Shitty plot and acting. Well. There ya go. Also, the main girl was one of the three chicks in Donkey Punch. I was very amused to find her name already tagged on my website (and shocked).

A couple years ago, I saw a trailer for Donkey Punch and laughed. “Ha ha! Fake trailers can be great!”. No one would actually make a movie called Donkey Punch and be about what Donkey Punches are about. That’d be silly.

But then we remember the British are a rather silly group of people. When I saw the trailer, two years ago, I realized the movie was actually real, and from two years prior. Holy shit. Why?! Well, why not I think was the response. Which I can totally agree with.

Ah, such a happy group of people. No idea the sexy bad time they will have.

Three girls are having a fun vacation out in Spain.

Lisa (Sian Breckin), Tammi (Nichola Burley), and Kim (Jaime Winstone). Party party party, they end up meeting a few guys who invite them on the boat to party more. Reluctantly, they decide to go. What could go wrong?

Sean (Robert Boulter), Marcus (Jay Taylor), Bluey (Tom Burke), and Josh (Julian Morris) are the guys.

Needless to say, drugs and alcohol happen a bit. And then some sexy time. Not everyone. But there is a lot of sex going on. Bluey is with Lisa, and notices Josh being a creeper, so gets him to film that stuff. Oh yeah, hot. Then he lets Josh have a go. Then they do anal. Then, based on a conversation earlier, and from peer pressure, Josh decides to Donkey Punch her. Accidentally breaking her neck and killing her on the spot.

Da fuq?

The rest of the movie is complete freak out mode. They have on tape a technical murder, and egging on, and a dead body. The women are freaking out, they want to go back to shore for the cops, guys not having any of it, want to dump the body. So then some more people die and maybe just maybe someone will escape the current death boat and make it out alive.

Improvise an escape, using your only means of escape!

What?? You don’t know what a Donkey Punch is? That is definitely an act during doggy style, where the male, generally near orgasm, will punch the woman in the back of the head. The more you know. And yes, the British made a thriller movie off of that act, not just a made up Urban Dictionary term.

This movie could have been a lot of crazy fun, unfortunately the characters ruin it. They are all dumb. The easiest solution would be for the girls to agree with the guys and then, you know, go to the cops. Bad survival instinct. The standard “Oh cells dont work out here!” problem, and other silly issues.

The movie also was super slow. You’d think it’d be full of action and freaking out, but really it lacked a lot of it. Was also a bit confusing when I assumed a guy got stabbed in the heart was dead, but nope. Survived most of the film, with a damn knife in him. Fucked up.

I think of ways to fix the film, and they need the guys to have a bit more distinct personalities and looks, so I don’t get confused at who is the puncher, who is the asshole, who is the taper, etc. And you know, just smarter characters. But maybe the drugs and alcohol made them dumb? I dunno. Don’t drink and go on boats, or else you may be donkey punched.