Tag: Jake Gyllenhaal

Here is a dumb question you can ask your friends and coworkers if you want them to dislike you a little bit more than they already do.

“Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?” This will make them ponder and come up with some bad guess, and you can quickly toss in a “It was still Mount Everest, it just wasn’t discovered, dipshit!” And again, you will lose friends.

My main problem with this joke, as a geophysicist/movie reviewer, is that it assumes that Mount Everest was always the tallest mountain on Earth, and that things don’t change. But we know they change, we know India and Asia weren’t always smashing into each other, so there is a real answer to the question of what used to be the tallest mountain before Mount Everest took over.

Turns out this knowledge is hard to get to and a bit awkward. But know there is a real answer out there. Just modern technology hasn’t always existed.

Oh yeah, I am supposed to talk about Everest. I think I should watch it on a large screen to give the large mountain its necessary honor.

Like a very gentle soft touch on its top most tip.

About 50-55 million years ago, India collided with Asia. It was probably the fastest moving tectonic plate ever, as it split with what is now Madagascar, presumably looking for a new climate. India was on an oceanic plate that was subducting under Asia at the time, which is the why it moved so fast. Once they crashed, the Himalaya mountains decided to be a thing, as the two land masses crumbled into each other, upward and forward! They grew fast and grew hard, making some really tall mountains that are still growing today. Mount Everest, aka Sagarm?th?, aka Chomolungma, currently sitting at 29,029 ft above sea level. Everest’s main purpose seems to be looking tall and killing crazy white assholes.

Oh, but maybe you care about those assholes? Well in that case, the film itself takes place in 1996, based on a real life disaster that took place that year and had like, five books written about it from survivors. Lot of primary sources to work with.

But our main character is Rob Hall (Jason Clarke), owner of Adventure Consultants out of New Zealand leads groups up Everest for large sums, helping them the whole way. He was the first to do this as a commercial business. There is also Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal), main guide of Mountain Madness, who started doing the same thing later. In 1996, it was extremely popular though, and there were dozens of groups up there, all trying to use the few mountain paths to make it to the top, around the same time, causing a lot of problems.

Speaking of people, we have a few more notables. Like the fact that Rob’s wife (Kiera Knightley) is at home, pregnant, ready to give birth not long after his return. And Jon Krakauer (Michael Kelly), a journalist who is going to write about his experience. And Doug Hansen (John Hawkes), a regular guy who worked three jobs to save up money to hike Everest, making his second attempt to the peak to help school kids realize that dreams come true! And Beck Weathers (Josh Brolin), from Texas, a cocky dude who feels good when he climbs, but is depressed back at home. And and and and of course Anatoli Boukreev (Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson), one of the guides working with Fischer, and a general bamf climber.

Honestly, plot reviews are easy in this case, because I don’t have to describe bad things happening. I just have to talk about who is involved. And since it is such a big cast, here are a few other people involved!

Emily Watson played the base camp leader with Elizabeth Debicki as their team doctor. Thomas M. Wright, Martin Henderson, and Tom Goodman-Hill play the other 3 guides and Sam Worthington plays a literal Guy who works with Adventuring Consultants, and in real life later becomes their director and CEO. Naoko Mori plays Yasuko Namba, who had climbed 6 of the 7 main peaks with Everest as her last, and Robin Wright as the wife of Beck Weathers.

Color coding the hikers is a good strategy, but I feel bad for anyone who got stuck with red.

Apparently, sometimes, I get a little bit emotional over some geology. Because at least one scene in particular had me bawling my eyes out. I mean I found myself crying in the dark theater, surrounded by strangers, crying for like two minutes. It wasn’t even at the end of film, it was probably about 80% of the way through. I am just an emotional wreck since I had a baby, I guess.

Everest is an intense, dramatic, and gorgeous film. It was made in particular to be experience first hand on an IMAX screen. Sure, in the beginning, it is a bit weird as we get some character introductions, watching them hike to base camp and the weeks of training before they finally climb. It isn’t just a group of people running up a hill and facing constant threats. They don’t slowly die one at a time like it is a horror film. This is based on a true story and the attention to detail is astounding. It is easy to get things right when you have multiple books to figure it all out.

The last 40 minutes is extremely gripping. Not knowing the actual story, I didn’t know who would make it out alive so I was afraid for everyone. They all feel like real people and it is easy to connect with many of them before their eventual ascent.

Finally, I think my favorite part of this movie is that it isn’t about a group of people trying to battle nature and show their dominance. It is really about a mountain, who gives zero fucks about the insignificant life forms that sometimes explore its slopes. It is about how nature is unforgiving and doesn’t care about how much prep work occurs, it will do what it wants, when it wants. It is about how life doesn’t care if you are a good person, or a bad person, a newbie or a trainer climber, you are just as likely to get killed in a heart beat.

Nature is a fucking beast. And Everest is fucking good.

Hold up your hands. Now bend your hands back a little bit and curl your fingers. Then use this hand position to hit someone in the face, with the bottom part of your palm. That is what I thought Southpaw was before this movie.

Southpaw didn’t actually teach me what a Southpaw was, I had to find out after the fact. Apparently it is just a mainly left handed boxer though, instead of the normal right handed boxer. Oh well.

Either way, the main reason I was interested in this film was to see a buff Jake Gyllenhaal. We had glimpses of it in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, but no one wanted to see that movie for some reason. The best part about the muscles put on by Gyllenhaal is that he did it right after starring in Nightcrawler, where he famously lost a lot of weight and has scrawny body.

Look out everyone. Gyllenhaal is now willing to do potential future harm to his health to give it his all in these roles.

And he is excited to do it!

Billy Hope (Gyllenhaal) has got it all. He is undefeated, over 40 wins to his name! He is the lightweight champion of the world! He has friends, a loving wife, Maureen (Rachel McAdams), a daughter, Leila (Oona Laurence), a mansion, a lifelong manager friend/promoter (50 Cent), and fat filthy stacks of cash.

But he wasn’t given these things. He had to work hard. He was an orphan, raised in the foster care system. So was his wife! So were all his friends. From nothing they created something great, and now with all the hits to the head, there is a chance he could lose it all if he keeps taking a beating. His wife wants him to live to see their daughter grow up, a fair request. So sure, maybe he should retire.

Not everyone is down with his retirement though. Miguel Escobar (Miguel Gomez) claims he is the best at the sport, but Billy won’t give him a chance. Miguel needs to beat the best to claim he is the best, so he starts a public taunting event to get Billy to commit. But when the taunting gets too personal, events quickly escalate and a pretty bad thing happens. I honestly don’t know if the bad thing was said in the spoiler, so I will avoid saying it.

Needless to say, post “bad thing”, Billy won’t get to live out the rest of his life as planned. Depression, loss of wealth, drugs, all of these things bring Billy down. After he loses everything, then, maybe then, he can turn his life around with an old gym owner (Forest Whitaker) and living on the streets.

Also featuring Naomie Harris, Skylan Brooks, and Beau Knapp.

Billy was eventually defeated by a KO from his daughter, quite embarrassingly.

Southpaw left me an emotional wreck. Notably important, I have a wife and I have a daughter, so despite not growing up on the streets or being athletic in any way, I found myself relating really heavily with the main character. All the bad things that happened to him I could imagine happening to me, so I was on the same wavelength from minute 1 and on.

Southpaw isn’t a revolutionary story. It has some normal boxing movie moments, maybe even cliches if you will. It wasn’t going for Warrior (shut up, I know it wasn’t boxing, close enough). But what elevates Southpaw is in the incredible acting.

Everyone was on point in this film. Gyllenhaal gave a complete performance, transforming himself into a new person. The film was originally going to star Eminem as the titular role, as a spiritual sequel to 8 Mile. Obviously Eminem wasn’t a champion boxer, but the whole film would be a metaphor for what was going on in his life and his own struggles. It was actually easy to imagine him playing the role early on, but I don’t think he could have pulled off the more emotional and intense parts of the film in the middle and end.

McAdams is in a lot of movies that make me cry, but she is never the reason for the tears. This time McAdams made me cry, who gave one of her best performances. It took awhile to get used to it, but it worked. Whitaker also gives his best performance in years, doing well on the drunk ramblings. It was nice to see after a few pretty bad and cheap movies in a row. And of course, Laurence as the daughter did an amazing job. She conveyed emotions through her eyes like a seasoned pro, with only one of her scenes feeling a bit cheesy.

Southpaw is a movie about a family and boxing. Broken down it is awkward: Boxer’s life turned upside down due to boxing, only way to fix it is more boxing. But the acting and characters make it an incredible film experience.

Buy It! – This movie is available now on {Blu-Ray} and {DVD}.

Nightcrawler is everyone’s favorite X-Men, right? I mean, after Wolverine, Deadpool, Magneto, Cable, Bishop, The Phoenix, Gambit, Professor X, 1990s Cartoon Rogue, Longshot, Iceman, The Juggernaut, Apocalypse, and that pterodactyl dude, right?

Just kidding. Nightcrawler is pretty cool up there. Transporting around, being all blue and sneaky and shit. Give him a dagger and he is better than any thief in any roleplaying game. So it is about time Fox branched out on its solo movies, away from their Wolverine jerk fest,

Wait, what? It isn’t an X-Men movie? But that would mean we only got sweet Nightcrawler action in X2, and I am super tired of that movie (too much Wolverine Origin story).

Apparently Nightcrawler (outside of worm teminology), can also describe someone who usually is more social and comes out at night. Ah okay. So maybe a movie about a well liked party animal.

“Wrong again, fuckface!” – Nightcrawler director

Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a dirty rotten scoundrel. Or at least he seems that way, when he beats up a security guard (steals his watch) and steals some material to sell under the table for spare parts. Dude is just trying to get by and make a living. Something is clearly off about him. Kind of scrawny. Talks in a funny way. Always looking at people with those deep eyes, rarely blinking.

No one wants to hire a thief either, so he tends to work on his own, at whatever he does, doing some internet researching and jumping head first into his tasks.

So, when he sees a car crash, he is surprised to find a news crew really quickly on the scene. Apparently these guys just listen to police scanners, try to get great footage of crime, either in progress or with people hurt, and sell it to news stations for some quick cash. After all, these news stations want to have the most exclusive footage and first to get the better ratings!

Sounds cool. Louis should get into that business. Just needs a camera, a police scanner, and an ability to haggle just how hard could it be? Anyone can do it, right? Even that dude from American Psycho could pull it off. Also starring Bill Paxton, Rene Russo, and Riz Ahmed.

I will admit I only said that because of the resemblance in the picture, despite the fact that I still haven’t seen it (shh).

Trust me, this is one of those shitty reviews where I describe the plot in a terrible, vague way. That is just because I need filler and don’t want to really spoil anything that happens.

Nightcrawler is that good. I went in knowing close to nothing and boy was I surprised in so many ways imaginable. I heard that Jake was supposed to be the second prince in Into the Woods with Chris Pine, but had to cancel because he was doing this movie. That made me upset. I want to see Jake singing in agony, damn it!

But I am incredibly happy, in retrospect, that he went the Nightcrawler route instead. Gyllenhaal dropped over 30 pounds for this role, making himself a creepy skinny dude with big bulging eyes. Nothing like his ripped Prince of Persia self. BUT HE WAS SO GOOD IN THIS ROLE.

Shit. I thought this would be a lame drama. But it was captivating, tense, somewhat scary, good, and it didn’t go the ways I thought it would. Louis Bloom is a despicable character and creation, but I want to see him do a lot of things. I don’t want a sequel, that’d be weird. But maybe just side stories or something. I think I am just describing shitty fanfiction. Bloom is probably the best bad guy of 2014. And honestly, I feel like this film came completely out of nowhere.

Nightcrawler is just continuing the trend of great Gyllenhaal movies coming out. I feel like the only reason he has a bad rap at all is due to Bubble Boy, which is silly, because Bubble Boy rocks.

Enemies are quite annoying. Everyone probably has a few. I know I have several, including: The Morlocks, Jafar, Tropical Flavored skittles. The list just goes on and on and on.

But what if your enemy was yourself? I have heard that if your enemy is yourself, it is often your worst enemy. That has got to suck. The film Enemy is actually based on that concept!

Actually, it is based on a novel, The Double. It is definitely not based on the movie The Double that came out this year, also dealing with doppelgangers, and it most certainly has nothing to do with the movie The Double from a few years ago.

Huh. Maybe The Double (2014 film) is a twisted doppelganger of The Double (Book) and it prevented Enemy from being a regular doppelganger of The Double (book). The Double (2014 film) stole Enemies identity!

My head hurts. Oooh beards!

Adam Bell (Jake Gyllenhaal) is your average regular college professor. He teaches about totalitarianism and dictators! A theme that may slightly be relevant to the movie. He lives with his girlfriend Mary (Melanie Laurent) and she thinks he is a cheating fool. He has been weird lately and keeping secrets and making secret phone calls.

Why? Because Adam has made a relevation. After watching a movie recommended by a coworker, he noticed a bellhop in the background. And that bellhop looked just like him. Turns out this Anthony Claire (Jake Gyllenhaal) has only been in a few pictures, all side who gives a shit roles, but by golly, he looks just like him. After a lot of sleuthing Adam is able to set up a meeting with Anthony.

Shit. Is. Bananas.

Well, when someone seems to be an exact replica of you with a different personality, who also knows where you live and who you interact with, it is pretty easy to get paranoid. Anthony himself has a pregnant wife (Sarah Gadon) and is in a committed relationship.

What can either of these gentlemen gain from this doppelmagic and more importantly, what can they lose?

It is hard to stalk someone when you don’t know which one is your husband.

Reading up on an analysis of the film and book after I watched the movie, there was apparently a lot that went over my head. Intellectual smart person stuff that might require reading or degrees in movie theory to get. And don’t worry, i am not letting that fact get affect my view. I just had a recurring “what the fuck, spiders?” thought going through my head throughout the movie. I’d say its a small enough part to get by.

Enemy is incredibly well acted and Jake G is showing off over the last few years a great side to himself. With this, Prisoners, End of Watch, I’d almost be willing to watch most anything with him as a main actor in it. Dude figured it out and it was good.

Enemy is not a quick movie and one that requires you to pay attention. It has a small number of important characters in it and really tries hard to drive the appropriate emotions through silence. However, the film is also really friggan yellow. And that just in general bugs the crap out of me. Over filtering.

I hope another film comes out with a similar plot to make more duplication jokes. Really.

Honestly, when I first saw the trailer for Prisoners, I wasn’t really impressed. It didn’t look like it was going to offer anything new. Sure, a torture scene. But despite the high star count, it just looked like it would be a lot of people yelling at each other, and then eventually somehow a crime gets solved.

Yeah. I was wrong. It is wonderful and unique. Fuck trailers, seriously.

He probably deserves everything that happens to him. He wears GLASSES, the nerd.

Ah, Thanksgiving. A time for eating food and watching the Lions lose a football game. A whole week of buying electronics cheaply on Amazon.

Well, the Dover family (Hugh Jackman, Maria Bello) and their two kids have decided to eat at their neighbors house down the street. The Birches (Terrence Howard, Viola Davis) also have two kids, of similar ages to the other kids.

Well, due to some confusion, the two youngest daughters are able to go back to the Dover home on their own…and then not seen again hours later. Shit. Fuck. Missing kids. That is never good. In fact, they think the kids were abducted. They were seen playing around an RV earlier, and the brother is pretty sure someone was inside. But when they find the RV later, the driver is Alex (Paul Dano), an IQ of a ten year old with no physical evidence of the kids in his vehicle.

Well, Detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal) is on the case, and he has never left a case unsolved. He just doesn’t have a lot to work with, with Alex being clean, and his mother (Melissa Leo) explaining his circumstances. No, there is a lot more at work than what we know. It just takes piecing a lot of different puzzle pieces together.

But time is of the essence, and when your daughter’s life is at stake, what would you be willing to do to save her?

“Hey you should just show pictures of people being rough with Paul Dano.” Okay!

Well, here is something I realized. Unfortunately, it is only for the male stars. I really love these guys. For three of the four male stars, their last movie on my website was given a 4/4. The only one who doesn’t match this criteria is Hugh Jackman, because I had to sit through The Wolverine and Movie 43, but he still had Les Miserables right before that. My last movie for Jake was End of Watch, for Howard it was The Butler and Dead Man Down, and Paul Dano it was Ruby Sparks.

Looks like these men get another highly rated movie to their resumes. No offense to the ladies, but they have been in a lot more crap recently. Oh well.

So yeah, this movie was incredible. I thought it would be a joke from the trailer, honestly. It looked overly melodramatic. When I found out it was 2.5 hours long, I groaned. How could they fill it with 2.5 hours of content?

Apparently it was really easy, because the time flew by and I was captivated the entire time. They don’t waste time either. The girls get kidnapped within the first ten minutes of the film. The torture scene alluded to in the trailer happens within the first hour as well. Yet somehow, there is more to it than those few events.

The director does NOT hold your hand throughout the film. There are some plot lines you have to figure out on your own, through flashes of story and connecting the dots. It is a great film to go with others just to make sure you can figure out all of the looser ends. The ending itself is a bit controversial. I will admit initially I was kind of pissed off, but it has grown on me, and now I like it a lot.

The acting is fantastic in this film. Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal carry it on their backs with exceptional performances, but even though Terrence Howard had a smaller role, he worked it well. One scene in particular, the fists and hammer torture scene just was so powerful, it will stay with you for some time. Howard was in the background of that scene, but his face says it all. Paul Dano also was pretty great in a role where he wasn’t given a lot to work with dialogue wise.

The women were for sure underused, so I am just not sure if the writer knew what to do with them. Viola Davis had one pretty intense scene, but then wasn’t really talked about much. Maria Bello’s character was pathetic and on drugs, so she wasn’t given much to work with either.

Oh well. Go see Prisoners. Probably the best movie to come out this month for sure.

End of Watch (I hate that there is no ‘the’ there) is another of those movies that I felt bombarded by trailers for. Unfortunately they only made a single trailer for this movie, so I saw the same two minutes over and over again. But from that trailer, I was definitely curious about this movie. Filming style was different, might have been a buddy cop movie, but at the time with very serious overtones. I do love genre bending movies!

Oh man, look how happy they are! If only they knew…

Brian Taylor (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Mike Zavala (Michael Peña) are partners working the hard streets of South Central LA. They are great at their job, if not a bit reckless. Brian is slowly taking classes, working on a Pre-law degree, with high aspirations. Mike is happily married (Natalie Martinez) with a child on the way.  The beginning of the film opens with a chase scene and subsequent shootout, causing the two to be suspended for a month while they make sure it was a legitimate shooting.

But no worries! They make sure they follow the book, mostly. Brian is also taking an ‘art’ class, where he has to make a movie so he decides to document his life. Why not? Cops are exciting! So he has his normal hand held camera, and some ‘spy cameras’ on their shirts, along with other footage from police scanners to make up the majority of the film.

They are like most stereotypical cop units, there is a hardass equal who always gives them crap (David Harbour), a lieutenant who only cares about results (Frank Grillo), and some other friendly cops who actually appreciate what they do (America Ferrera, Cody Horn). Heck, even Brian has started to see someone, a smart girl who is more than just a booty call (Anna Kendrick).

But when the two start an investigation on a Hispanic gang shooting, they soon find themselves deeper and deeper in the dealings with the drug cartel, who have expanded their operations out of Mexico.  Discovering mass murders, cocaine, golden guns, cash, and human trafficking have put them as the number 1 priority for the cartel to deal with. What they just assumed was a normal shift will turn into a fight for survival to just make it to the end of (the) watch.

Yes, the same Cody Horn who helped ruin Magic Mike is a cop in this. Same disgruntled face.

I know my description of the plot made it seem like a pretty serious action movie, but surprisingly I would instead describe it as a “Comedy Drama Action Thriller” film. It is seriously all of the above. I laughed, quite often, I cried once, there was the obvious action, and I felt scared more than once.

The film isn’t a typical ‘found footage’ film. I believe the director originally wanted the whole thing to be in police camera / hidden camera footage, but there is plenty of actual camera work thrown in as well. So that means we have a movie that fits multiple genres, and doesn’t even keep its camera use constant, but yet it works really really well.

Frankly I thought the movie would be stupid, but I ended up loving every minute of it. Gyllenhaal and Peña had excellent chemistry together, and it shows that they spent months shadowing LA cops and hanging out for inspiration.  My only suggestion for watching this movie is to be prepared to have scenes change suddenly. It may go from hilarious banter to scary cop moments in an instant. This form of ‘genre shock’ is pretty rare, and now something I hope to see more often in movies after this. End of Watch is a definite must see.

Although Jarhead is just outside of my range of reviews, I wanted to review a war-like movie for Memorial’s Day, and it is not only decently new but also a few people I have talked to about it haven’t ever seen it.

And damn it, I got it on Blu-Ray pretty cheap last Black Friday, so I wanted to see it, damn it.

Taking a new spin on the giving nature of the Marines.

The film takes place a few decades ago, and the war components during Operation Desert Shield. But earlier we get to see Swofford (Jake Gyllenhaal). It’s okay, nothing great. Lot of yelling. Eventually he gets invited to try out for a Sniping unit for the Marines, where Sgt. Sykes (Jamie Foxx) is not only the trainer, but the leader in combat too.

Regardless, he makes it to the final cut of 8 people, and even gets to be a shooter. Because yeah, unluckily, 4 of the 8 just get to be spotters. Like his new partner, Troy (Peter Sarsgaard). Then eventually off to combat! Hooray!

Or not. They then get to live out in the desert. Bored. Very bored. Trying to become accustomed to the new environment, but also boredom. Due to alcohol and changing of the duties, a fire breaks out and Swofford is demoted all the way back down to Private. Where the boredom remains, but the daily jobs are worse. The only thing for them to do is masturbate, which they make that pretty clear. But hey, even more eventually, they get to go to combat! Or at least get to go through the desert and be mobile.

One of the members, Fowler (Evan Jones) seems to be increasingly losing his sanity, having a more and more extreme sense of humor. Everywhere they go seems to be in the path of destruction that the airforce has already cleared, tons of burned Iraqi vehicles and people. Once they reach the Oil fields, the oil spurting up from the ground literally rains down on them (and eventually, is a constant jet of fire going into the air).

But when they get into a territory with the enemy in sight, will the finally be able to pull the trigger and prove their worth to the Marines?

My normal suspense method leaves very little suspense.

I should note that that picture above scares the crap out of me. Oil raining from the sky, caking the desert, (where they are digging holes in order to sleep in) while also different spewing oil areas are on a constant state of fire. That shit was real, and lasted for up to 10 months in 1991 Kuwait. Holy shit. It’d be the closest thing to Hell on earth, and I never heard of it before this movie.

During the first half, there was a lot more comedy than I would have expected in a “modern” war movie, but people do comedic things when faced with isolation and boredom. There isn’t a lot of open firing in this movie against any ‘bad guys’. The real enemy in this situation is just keeping sane and keeping your friends sane. Which in itself seems crazy!

Although the soldiers did exhibit their own personality, I didn’t even see Jake Gyllenhaal as Jake Gyllenhaal for most of the movie, just saw him as a real soldier. True for all the actors, EVEN Jamie Foxx (somehow).

I thought the acting and plot was good, and it was definitely heart wrenching in all the right places. The scenery was probably spot on, and vivid enough to make the viewer get irritated by the conditions we’d endure if we were there.

There was a moment in my life, probably January of 2009 or so. I found an image on the internet, and laughed for three days. This image isn’t as funny anymore, but it was the first poster / image about Prince of Persia: The Sands Of Time movie, starring Jake Gyllenhaal.

Three. Days. Of Laughing.

Seriously, somehow that was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I loved the PoP games for the last generation of consoles, and don’t even hate Jake G. Yet somehow, that image was so unbelievable it just made me giddy. I didn’t hate it, I just couldn’t stop laughing either.

I did go watch it in theaters as soon as I could, but only now finally got to watch it on Blu-Ray.

The movie is based on the games but not any in particular, keeping somewhat with the same mythos. Jake plays said Prince, Dastan, but he isn’t royal blood. He was adopted by the King, and therefore has some cool brothers! Tus (Richard Coyle), the oldest and strongest, and Garsiv (Toby Kebbell), the smart one. That lets Dastan be the sneaky and very dex based one!

According to their uncle (Ben Kingsley) a rival (normally peaceful) nation is producing a lot o weapons, and plans to attack. So they march on over, Tus in charge, to take em down. Hey look, hot princess (Gemma Arterton) is super confused about it all, but arrested. The king gets assassinated by a poisoned cloak (go with it), presented by Dastan so he also gets blamed for the murder!

He quickly flees from the castle, along with the princess and her kick ass dagger. After she tries to kill him and escape he realizes that the holder of the dagger can go back in time! Assuming it has some special sands of time in it. Hells yeah. He also finds out that of COURSE the uncle planned on killing the king. He also faked the info from the spies to get them to take over the city, just to get the dagger and go back in time to rule the kingdom himself!

So they must go back to the kingdom, without you know, dying or being caught, convince his older brother of the time traveling truth / shenanigans, and maybe protect the world. Maybe. But if he goes back in time all the way, can he get the girl?!?

If he can keep her that wet in the dry desert, then probably.

Elements from a bunch of the Prince of Persia games can be found in here, including just running up walls and areas that just feel puzzle-ish. But then of course there is a lot not like it, but hey, it works in this universe. The games all tell different stories, so why not this one. The dagger also pretty much works like the first one did in the movie, just sand is much harder to come across in the movie. Magical sand, asshole.

I was disappointed with the graphics in Blu-Ray, didn’t feel top notch for me, so didn’t think there was that big of a difference. Good effects for what they were going for. How many people watched this didn’t think their way of showing going back in time was cool? I did. And there was appropriate amounts of comic relief too.

But also a lot more death than I would have figured. For a Disney movie, I was worried they’d just knock everyone out, and the bad guy would go to prison. Thankfully they are more true to the rugged life than that, and didn’t feel like it was “for kids” completely.

I will admit, there is a definite reason I wanted to see this movie. In case you didn’t know, this movie is absolutely slathered with Anne Hathaway boobies. It seems she is naked for at least half the movie. Because her and Jake Gyllenhaal get it on, a lot. That is the Love part of Love and Other Drugs.

“Ohhh! Ohh ohh”

The story begins with Jake getting fired from the electronics store, for inappropriate sexy time at work. His whole family thinks he needs to get his act together, so he becomes trained to become a pharmaceutical rep. This move also takes place early 90s! His partner is Oliver Platt, and he wants them to do good so they can move up the chain and make the mad money in Chicago. But he just cannot sell his depression/anxiety medicine at all to anyone, no matter how many secretaries he flirts with!

But then something that changes the way we lived happens. Viagra. Selling Viagra, he becomes the hottest pharmaceutical rep, ever! Even doctors like Hank Azaria can’t get enough it. It makes them popular at parties. (Because women love that dick?). Oh yeah, and by this time his brother Josh Gad is living with him, unsuccessful and a loser.

He would later go on to be a successful Mormon missionary in Uganda though, so don’t worry.

Oh yeah, thanks to his job, he “accidentally” sees Anne Hathaway naked and they begin a very sexy relationship. Involving a lot of sex. Because they couldn’t have sex that much when they tried to the last movie they were in together, because Jake G was gay for Heath Ledger.

So, the movie is about their relationships, and him being successful, and her having Parkinson’s, and lots of stuff. But I loved it. The relationship felt very real between the two, and it was a realer relationship than most movies would present. The ending was sweet too. Not like sweet ass sweet, but awww sweet.

This movie was a lot better than expected, but technically I expected nothing. I first didn’t watch it, because the cover made me think of Eagle Eye. (yes, even though I read the words “Source Code“) Eagle Eye!? yuck! Don’t need any Shia LaBeouf in my room!

Or my website.

Doesn’t help that the main woman, Michelle Monaghan, is the main woman in Eagle Eye too.

Anyways, this is a sci-fi (esque) action movie, where if you can ignore some plot holes in how everything works, it becomes pretty good. What plot holes? It is hard to explain, here and in the movie. More or less, they said that after a “big event” in the realities aroun…no I still can’t explain it. More or less, they have a way to send people back into an event, inside a person whom shares qualities with their sendee back, and can do things before the event occurs. Not stop it of course, because it has already happened. But some cool things, like figure out who did it, figure out what they will be doing next, etc.

Why is this good? Because some dude bombed some trains in Chicago! And is planning on bombing more things! If they can find out who it is, maybe they can stop him!

Unfortunately when dealing with alternative realities, paradoxes tend to happen pretty easily. The ending was beautiful, and cannot be mucked up if they ever try to do a sequel. So that is good. I am tired of also liking 6/7 of a movie and hating the end. This time I liked pretty much all of it.

Also, for those Jake G haters, you can watch him die at least six times in this movie. No, that is not a spoiler. Unfortunately, as I said it was set in Chicago. We can’t all be perfect though.