Month: November 2011

Get Low? Alright I will get it over with.

No more references to that!

Get Low stars Robert Duvall as an old hermit man Felix Bush, living outside of a town in the 1930s or so. A simpler time. Why does he keep to himself? No one is for sure, but every once in awhile he does go into town, much to the ire of the towns folk. For some reason, he heads to the local funeral home, run by salesman Bill Murray and his new partner Lucas Black (the kid from Sling Blade!) to set up his own funeral. He has everything already ready for it though, except for the “funeral party”.

Funeral Party? What? He wants to hold a gathering of people just telling stories about him for his funeral, but while he is still alive. Very weird concept, but Bill Murray needs money and will sell anything. So flyers are put up to invite folks, radio interviews, haircuts, new suits, etc.

Also, Felix agrees to sell raffle tickets, $5 a pop, and the winner (announced when he actually dies) will win his home and land, which is quite a large amount.

At first it appears as if the funeral home is trying to rip off Felix, but throughout the movie you are unsure of who is ripping who off.

The event gets canceled a few times, and changed a lot. We find out that he doesn’t just want random stories, he wants his story told. Why he has been living by himself the last forty years, and an admission of his sins. Also included in the cast are Sissy Spacek, as a past friend (maybe former lover?) and Bill Cobbs, as the Reverend from where he used to live.

This is also a good film to reflect on with the end of “No Shave November”.

By the end of the film, don’t worry, you will find out the answers to why he is doing the funeral party, why he is a hermit, and what he did in the past. To be fair, those are all kind of the same answer.

The acting in this film is way too good. I am a well noted Bill Murray hater (unless he is in cameos). I banked my getting into college on it. But even he did a good job (but since he was kind of a crook, it was easy I bet). The ending is of course sad too, and when you realize everything that Felix went through in his (fictional) life, you will just want to hug that old man.

The music and designs/costuming were pretty top notch as well. Despite the slow start of the movie, if you pay attention, you will be hooked early on and find yourself on a decent ride.

I am starting to think that Nick Cage puts out about thirty movies a year. Dude is in everything. All of which seem to have a lot of CGI elements too. Intersting Cage, Interesting indeed.

Maybe he knows something? Or maybe he just likes money. Either way, I don’t think he cares about the plots anymore. Kinda like Samuel L Jackson. People just give him money to yell and demean other humans, pretty awesome lifestyle. Just not as CGI’d up as Nick Cage movies.

Except for the Sorcerer’s Apprentice, that was all real magic.

Fifty years before the majority of events in Knowing take place, it stats with a school full of young impressionable (white) kids. They are doing a time capsule! Some girl wins the contest to decide what they do, and she says pictures of what the future looks like. But she doesn’t do pictures. She writes a whole bunch of numbers and that is it. Doesn’t get to finish her numbers, just most of the way!

NOW ITS THE FUTURE. Nick Cage’s son, smart Chandler Canterbury, ends up getting that letter and is confused. But he thinks they mean something. Thanks to an accident, Cage also thinks the numbers mean something. He accidentally sees 0911012819, which is a date and number of people killed in 9/11 attacks. He thinks this is odd, but tries some more numbers and they all match up! Sure there are random numbers in between that he doesn’t understand, but this shit is scary.

But after the next thing that it predicted comes true too, and he figures out what the in between numbers are, he flips a shit and tries to stop the next few “disasters”. He also meets Rose Byrne, daughter of the crazy chick, who also has a daughter.

Then you know, other stuff happens. The end of the world. Men in suits. Disasters. People Panicking. The missing numbers. Etc.

The first half of the movie was more interesting than I thought it would be. I was like “Oh man, this shit is crazy!”. And I was having a good time. The last hour, however, took away all of it. After the wicked cool train scene, it went downhill, both in terms of plot and caring. Rose was a pretty bad actress in this movie. Her irrational fears got annoying, and I didn’t believe any of her actions.

I also think for the ending they tried to see how long they could make it last. The last 25-30 minutes would be the slowest ending ever, if NBA games and LOTR3 didn’t already exist.

“Okay, hold it in. Can’t pee now. No way this movie has another five minutes in it…” – Doomed watcher.

Besides feeling drawn out, I personally hated the explanations given for all the events, and the results of those explanations. The final “field” picture just didn’t look good to end the film. Once you also find out that this “renown” astrophysicist professor’s dad was a priest, you can also guess where one of the final plot points will go. Blah. If you want to be built up for something awesome, then sorely disappointed, then this movie is for you.

To continuing with my current “White theme” and “Irish theme“, I am now going to join both worlds. White Irish Drinkers. Mind blown, huh?

Besides, they already made White Russian Drinkers.

White Irish Drinkers is about two brothers, Nick Thurston and Geoffrey Wigdor (or Brian and Danny Leary). Danny is the older one, and a punk. But he is also abused! His dad, another Irish drinker, spends a lot of his paycheck on alcohol, and takes his anger out on Danny, not Brian.

Brian is a nicer kid, but he also only gets beaten up from his brother. Surprise! He is also a good artist. But he keeps it a secret from his parents, he doesn’t want to be called names or anything. This is the 70s! He should be working in the mill (or something) in Brooklyn. Whatever they have there.

The dad is Stephen Lang, from Avatar/Terra Nova. The mom is played by Karen Allen, and Leslie Murphy the love interest thing.

What is going on in Brooklyn? Brian works at a theater, and it turns out the ROLLING STONES are going to stop in to play a small concert. The owner of the theater knows the manager, and as a favor they are willing to make a stop. But, they can only advertise the day of, no advanced ticket sales, and what not. So in preparation, you know what is going to happen? The brothers are going to steal all that money, run away from home, and start a new life abuse free. What could go wrong (besides morality)?

Moustache-tic!

The movie was slow at parts, but all of it was building up for the final 20-30 minutes. I can say I did not expect the ending at all, and found myself agreeing with a lot of the characters. Well played indeed. The final final scene was a nice act of redemption, possibly unnecessary, but hey, everyone watching wanted it. Okay movie, definitely helps if you too are drinking during it. Get into that city living Irish stereotype mindset.

Ugh.

Ughh.

Alright, from the description of the movie it made it seem like White Lion would be about a boy from a local village. The village wants to protect a local white lion from harm and pachers, as a white lion is rarer and more valuable. So this kid protects him / follows him living on the plains to ensure good health to the village, or something. THen eventually there are poachers and he has to stop them to protect the lion.

But that isn’t really what it is about.

This movie is a fake documentary…kinda. It is definitely 85% like a documentary, with an “authentic African” telling the tale. But he is also telling the tale to a group of kids and goes back to them frequently in the movie, interrupting the story. It is also fake. It is obvious when watching this movie they made the story, then went out to film it using their own lions in the wild. A normal documentary that would add a story to narration based on the events that occurred while filming, not create events (such as a “threatening fire” or being left from the pride, etc).

And it really bugged me. Normally with documentaries they are allowed to move at a lot slower pace. Just showing scenes of the lion growing up and music should be good enough. Every once in awhile narration, and that is all. But this took that same format, for fictional events. I don’t get the same feeling knowing that this, because it just feels like lazy story telling. This version is way different than the plot, because we expect a lot of human interaction with the animals, and don’t have to worry about the possibility of a boring area. Because we know its fiction, we assume it will be filmed like a normal movie.

Maybe I am the only one who would complain about something like this, but it just feels like both a forced and half-ass job movie. African Cats seems like a better movie because it adds a story to real great footage of cats in the wild. This is just real footage of trained cats in the wild, pretending to be a natural story. Sure it has its morals in line, like certain kinds of hunting being bad, but that is it.

Sometimes the narrator spoke for the few humans in the movie, sometimes they spoke themselves. That was off.

And it just seemed really really long, in the bad way.

The lack of realness is also distracting. I was too busy thinking “there is no way this is real” based off the things the lions did and the way they interacted with the few humans. Just. Ugh.

I don’t even know what is going on here.

You know what movie everyone loved? My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Sure it played on stereotypes of 2nd and 3rd generation Greek Americans, but the cast all seemed to love it, it really seemed heartfelt, and if you didn’t like it, you were a scrooge. But the star of that movie, Nia Vardalos, was pretty much never seen from again. Just some smaller rolls, a tv show spinoff that (presumably) no one watched.

So she figured. Hell! I was famous before for doing a Greek based romantic comedy film. LET’S DO ANOTHER!

“And this time, my success will stay!”

My Life In Ruins is about Nia, being a tour guide in Greece. Once only being a temporary job until she can become a teacher, she has found herself stuck in the mud, trying to appease spoiled tourists. And by spoiled tourists, I mean of course a whole bunch of caricatures of people, that are pretty constant throughout the movie. The only non constants are Alexis Georgoulis, the hairy bus driver, and Richard Dreyfuss, the funny old guy.

Declaring this will be her final tour, she sets off on one last trek with her “lame group of people” around Greece. Of course they only care about souvenirs and fun, no history, so she eventually breaks. But on this trip, she also finds true love guys. And happiness. And sunshine. And forgiveness. And etc.

Also, Richard Dreyfuss might actually be Zeus in this movie. You can easily argue it, so I will!

Dreyfuss definitely has the looks down.

The bus driver dude seems to be super greek. His IMDB has only a few titles I can read, most of the others are foreign. The movie didn’t really give any “new” sort of humor to the tourist drama. Everyone was as you would expect them to be, and the ending was also quite expected. Despite some interesting moments, it wasn’t enough to carry the whole thing into “worth it” territory.

Also, in case you couldn’t tell, the movie’s title is about her muck of a life, AND the fact that Greece has a bunch of ruins. Get it? Get it?

A live action movie about The Smurfs? How can that smurfin’ work? That doesn’t make any smurf sense. But, by the end, it was definitely pretty smurfy.

Oh don’t worry, I am done doing that.

I won’t explain the back story of Smurfs. Should be pretty public knowledge. But in their magical world, before the Blue Moon festival, a few of the smurfs accidentally get transported, along with Azrael and Gargamel (Hank Azaria)! They must figure out how to return, and you know, not turn into magic juice.

Also! Neil Patrick Harris and Jayma Mays are expecting a baby, while NPH has to make a new ad design for the cosmetics company he works for and his boss Sofia Vergara (from Modern Family).

Which smurfs made the cut into reality? Of course Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters) and Smurfette (Katy Perry). Without them, who would watch? We also got Brainy Smurf (Fred Armisen) for “problem solving”, Grumpy Smurf (George Lopez) for “lols”, and Clumsy Smurf (Anton Yelchin) for conflict building. I think Gutso Smurf (Alan Cumming) was created for the movie, but they needed a more kick ass smurf I guess. A lot more famous people for other smurfs, but those smurfs aren’t as smurf important.

This movie (or at least NPH) ask a lot of questions normal people wonder. Like if they are named after their major personality, do they get a name later in life, or born with that name. The movie answers the question, kinda.

In terms of CGI, it is pretty good. They fit the smurfs into the real world very well. Nothing (too) cheesy, and I was able to believe it.

What was pretty weird was the Guitar Hero scene, though. Guitar Hero is dead.

NPH and Jayma were fine. Azaria made a GREAT Gargamel. I was hoping for Danny DeVito to be him personally, just on looks. But Azaria just had it all going for him. Also, super cheesy. But you could hear the Moe Sizlack in his voice. Also interesting.

Story line was also interesting. I was entertained throughout, which is really all you can ask from a family centric movie. There was enough subtle jokes in there too for adults to enjoy as well.

I was going to watch this with “Smurf-O-Vision” too, as it was advertised. With an iPad/iPhone, you could download an app to go with the movie. It made it seem like if Smurfs would fly off of of screen, they’d fly onto the iPad, and other weird things. A new dimension of fun! But what really happens (I tried this for 5~ minutes, app took forever to load too) is a bunch of stupid things. Also it ruins the movie. In this version of the movie, the main smurf cast are also watching, and often the screen will shrink and you will see their reactions too. I was like “okay, as long as it doesn’t ruin the movie”. But then once it shrunk again and the director appeared and talked over dialogue, I was immediately done and calling it a failure. Just meant as a way to distract kids more so, I think.

Besides that, the movie is smurfy.

Below is a list of all the reviews done by fellow readers and guests of the site. I left it all up to them on how they wanted to present their review. Most people’s opinions are just as good as each others, so why not get some more out there?

Heck, even let them choose the rating. The only stipulation I added is there must be some pictures, and at least a couple potentially funny parts. Want to review a movie? Leave a comment or tweet or whatever letting me know.

[table id=1 /]

I know what you, the readers, are thinking. Friends With Benefits? But we just had No Strings Attached? Why Hollywood, Why?

This was supposed to be clever, showing them inside the Hollywood “O”. But it is too zoomed it.
MY BAD GUYS.

This tells the tale of Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Despite normally against it, lets keep comparing it to NSA. Timberlake > Kutcher. Fact. Most people would say Portman > Kunis though, so I will go with that. Mila’s eyes scare me.

JT is a web designer and gets offered head art designer job at GQ Magazine in NYC (way different than LA!) by Kunis, who is a head hunter. They become great friends, which is great, because he doesn’t know anyone in NYC. They agree to be friends because he’d be lonely despite it. They both also have obvious relationship issues, stemming from their parents. But eventually, they say fuck it. Literally.

Just like Tennis, its just a physical thing, so they decide to have sex without baggage and emotions. Yay America!

The rest of this you can guess, eventually they do have feelings, but are afraid to admit them. We also get to explore both families, Mila’s promiscuous mom and JT’s divorced dad with Alzheimers. Also, flash mobs, cheesy movies, and Woody Harrelson as a fantastic gay man.

Twice they show clips from a fake “rom-com” movie, that stars Jason Segel and Rashida Jones, which is also pretty damn good.

A movie within a movie. You know that is serious business.

This movie was pretty damn funny though. Both did great in their roles, and now we know why Timberlake continues to be in movies. Because he is a decent actor. Damn weird phenomenon right there. You also get a nice rap. For those who watch Modern Family you will be able to see Luke in an important movie role for once.

In the final comparison of NSA and FWB, I think FWB is way funnier, and also more real. Just easier to create great/funny situations when it is friends having meaningless sex (FWB), versus non friends having meaningless sex (NSA).

Our Idiot Brother, or “that movie where Paul Rudd has a beard and long hair” can somewhat be compared to Hesher.

Why? Because the main characters both have long hair, when normally they don’t have long hair. Outside of the head situation, movies are quite different though.

Also, Rudd wears nifty sweaters, while “Hesher” doesn’t own shirts.

The movie begins with Paul Rudd being PUT IN JAIL! For selling pot. But he is a friendly guy. He got out of jail pretty early. See, he isn’t an “idiot”. He just assumes the best out of everyone. Why would people want to screw him over?

Enter his sisters. Liz (Emily Mortimer), the oldest, married to Steve Coogan, a documentary maker. Then there is Miranda (Elizabeth Banks, who looks way too much like Parker Posey), writer for some sort of magazine! Has a neighbor too, Adam Scott, and she is very bossy. And last he has Zooey Deschanel, hippy sexual sister, living with like, seven roommates and currently lesbianing it up with Rashida Jones (who is the “more successful stern” lesbian).

After being released from prison, he is kicked out of his old home, and lives with the different members of his family. Of course while he does, he “Accidentally screws everything up” by doing the right thing, trying to make everyone happy, and believing other people to honest / not so cynical. So more or less, he is just a good free spirit, who doesn’t think the world is out to get him.

And that’s the movie. By the end they all love each other and have their lives fixed (and in better standing) than before, and then they do a giant disco party.

Hah! No disco party. Sorry. But here is Zooey and Rashida.

It was an enjoyable movie, but I thought it could have been a lot better. Not sure if I will ever watch it again, but glad I got to see it at least once. Paul was great in this role, pretty different than his normally “ahhh everything so stressful!” roles. His character does crack near the end, and it was great. The sisters all had good chemistry with each other and him, and it actually felt like a family.

One Day is a British movie, based on the British book of the same name. Creative right? In fact, this book was apparently so good, it was made into a movie pretty damn quick from when it came out. But why is it called One Day?

Because it tells the story of a man and a woman. On one day of the year. For twenty years. July 15, 1989-2009, to be exact.

St. Swithun’s day and Eddie Griffin‘s birthday. But I am sure you knew that.

Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess play the main two roles, and thus are the only people that matter. It starts with them graduating from some UK college, and spending the night together. They decided to be friends, and over the next many years they end up working on their goals to be famous and be a writer. Also with different (sometimes plentiful) lovers, and at different times loving the other. Very unfortunate.

What is fortunate is that so much happened on July 15 between them. Pretty handy! It also has Patricia Clarkson, as the mother of Jim. I don’t think Anne’s parents are talked about at all.

You know what I don’t care about? Accents. To say someone from an area has the “wrong English accent” or a bad accent, or whatever, sounds completely stupid. All people from an area do not talk identical. It is based on how they hear a lot of their earlier words. Parents and shit. I will never care about someone’s accent, and if it is “real” enough or not, because technically, there isn’t a real accent at all. To do that would be stereotyping, people.

(There is also complaints that her accent changes throughout the movie. Which makes sense, as she moves around to different parts of Europe in the movie, and overtime, that shit changes.)

It was probably hard for them to find people who could look the ages of 22-42, or whatever the range may be. They change their hairstyles a bunch and do a pretty good job. They also make Anne look like the adult female version of Harry Potter at the beginning.

You’re welcome for that.

The story was interesting, and of course sad at a lot of parts. Sometimes the “date” that was flashed on the screen was hard to see, and I wouldn’t necessarily know it was a new year. They should have been less clever with that. It was an okay story. Probably rushed, compared to a novel. I think there definitely could have been more. Decent movie, but not the best. Also, there is some nakedness, which is shocking for a PG-13 movie, but not shocking for an Anne Hathaway movie.