Tag: Olivia WIlde

Hey, didn’t I just talk about this? Yeah, last week or so! The weird genre of watching a bunch of people famous from TV shows make a movie together. I just talked about it with Adult Beginners, and now I can talk about it again with The Lazarus Effect.

This time we have a guy from The League, a girl from House, and a guy from Community.

The good news about all of this is I have never really seen a group of TV stars do a horror movie. It is almost always, 100% of the time, an independent comedy drama where not a lot happens.

But this is a horror! Time to party because it is new and different!

Science! Party! Happy times!

This isn’t just a scary movie. It is a scary SCIENCE movie, about science going to far and playing god.

The scientists in question are Frank (Mark Duplass) and Zoe (Olivia Wilde), who are not only partners, but also dating. Oh snap. Personal lives mixing with work lives. How scandalous. They started their university research into something about coma patients, but now they are on to something even bigger and more sciency. Instead of helping coma patient, it might bring the dead back to life. Kind of fucked up, right? After doing some science stuff, they are finally able to get it to work on a dog. They had some assistants of course, Niko (Donald Glover) and Clay (Evan Peters), for more witnesses.

Speaking of witnesses, they even have a girl with a video camera, Eva (Sarah Bolger), so no one cries bullshit after success.

Well, obviously the dog is now alive, but the dog is acting a bit weird. Aggression based weirdness mostly. Oh well.

What’s that? They can’t do more research because it is awkward and sneaky and some pharmaceutical company is going to take it all? What’s that, Zoe is suddenly dead thanks to an accident while trying to re-do the experiment? Oh my goodness, Zoe is back alive? That is fantastic. It works on humans. Now they can find out what it is like to die and what she can tell them and hopefully she doesn’t turn all psycho and kill everyone.

That wouldn’t be okay!

I would also probably hide if Olivia Wilde came walking down the hall.

The first thing you will notice about The Lazarus Effect is that it is unusually short. Some horror films are short because everything takes place during a small amount of time, like in Unfriended, and it worked very nicely. Unfriended also got to the “horror” part of the film pretty early on, so there wasn’t a lot of time wasted.

This film, however, dawdles pretty hard core. They had what felt like several different plot lines going on to lead up to the sudden human trial to save Zoe’s life, but that also took up at least a third if not half of the film. That would be the plot about getting the science right, dealing with a slowly more aggressive dog, and the company coming in to take their work and having them lose everything. That is a big chunk of the movie, but none of it is really that scary. So that is pretty disappointing. You would think with less than 80 minutes of film, that sort of thing can be rushed or already assumed to get us to the part most viewers would care about. For instance, it can start with the formula just working on a dog? Yeah, that would give us more time to focus on scary stuff!

But alas, it is a mostly non terrifying horror movie which is a shame. The acting also is nothing special, and rarely is in a horror film.

The reason I am giving it the average passing score is that at least it tried to make a reasonable and not completely shitty plot. The main issue is that the plot seemed to also forget the fact that it is a horror movie. I need two things to happen in a horror film to give it a rating above a 2. It has to be both scary AND entertaining. This one has only minor scary parts near the end, and is average on the entertainment.

Should there be a sequel, which I doubt, it should be able to deliver more scares as we should be passed all the set up. But it also doesn’t really deserve a chance to make up the lack of horror.

2 out of 4.

Without a doubt, Her was one of my most anticipated movies of 2013 to watch. That is why I was disappointed I had to wait until 2014 to see it! It is one of those rather annoying ideas by the guys trying to win Oscars. They release a movie on a limited run near the end of the year, then wide release in early January after it has built up steam.

Living in the middle of Iowa, where they have zero movie previews, you will always get the short end of the “limited release” stick.

Despite the wait, Spike Jonze has made some great movies in the past (Being John Malkovich/Adaptation), so I was hoping he could deliver on his first major release that he both wrote and directed.

Especially with a topic as serious as this one.

Her is set sometime in the distant future. In this world, human interaction is basically nonexistent. Everyone is attached to their computer devices that they carry around with them, more extreme than it is now. In fact, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) works at a job where he writes hand written letters for people, because people really don’t know how to do that anymore. They’d rather leave their intimacy to strangers.

He is also going through a divorce with Catherine (Rooney Mara), but he is reluctant to sign the papers because he doesn’t want that part of his life to end.

Regardless, Theodore decides to upgrade his computer’s operating system, as it comes with a new artificial intelligence software that will adapt and learn over time. His new operating system, which gives herself the name Samantha (Scarlett Johansson), immediately makes his life more organized and better. In fact, he now has someone he can talk to who seems real. Yay, human-ish contact!

Then, Samantha and Theodore fall in love.

The only other main character is Amy (Amy Adams), his long time friend (who he once dated), who is also currently married (Matt Letscher). She provides an actual human constant experience to his life. Chris Pratt and Olivia Wilde also make appearances.

I bet overall, Theo is actually in love with himself.

The basic concepts of Her are not entirely unique. Futuristic society and very smart computers who have human personalities. See, even Disney had a made for TV movie, Smart House along the same lines. But rarely is love touched upon.

Phoenix, like we have come to expect, did phenomenal in this role. He was a dreamer, but alone, a lover, but afraid. The movie is mostly dialogue based, most of which is between Theodore and Samantha, leaving the camera on Phoenix for most of the film to react and talk. Since Samantha doesn’t have a face, the film just falls on his shoulders. Despite his crazy good performance, he will probably fall short of Best Actor Oscar thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

I thought the writing and dialogue in the movie felt incredibly realistic for what was going on. It was also quite beautiful. You could tell that the main character had a lot bottling up inside of him, so every time he started to talk with Samantha, he could let it all out and be real to himself. The love between him and the operating system was by far one of the more heart felt performances of the year.

Because the subject matters of Her are so serious, I can say that after one viewing I don’t think I was really able to understand and get everything I needed out of the movie. This is the type of film that might require multiple viewings, not because of plot twists or surprise endings, but to really capture and appreciate everything that happens subtly through facial expressions and dialogue.

Her is by far one of the more relevant films of 2013. I don’t even have to go into detail about how it relates to modern day life. I’d suggest watching with an open mind and an open heart.

4 out of 4.

One thing I can say about Rush going into it, is that it sure had a lot of trailers. At least three, maybe more, in theaters. They were also very long. This gave me two thoughts.

1) There are a lot of events in this film that just seem like a more serious Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Dude gets burned, big rivalry, one is more foreign than the other one, lots of jealousy, comeback, whatever.

2) The trailers gave…a lot away. Sure, this is a real story, but I can tell you that most people do not know this story. It is different than Lincoln, in which we all know what happens. I am afraid I know everything that happens just from the trailers, which bugs me. Could be a cool story, but I want some mystery still you know.

Besides the mystery wondering why someone with such lush hair could think about dirtying it up.

I was wrong. The trailers didn’t give a lot away, at all. Sure, some major points, but fuck, a lot happened in this film.

The movie takes place in the 1970s, roughly 70-76. In 1970, James Hunt (Chris Hemsworth) and Niki Lauda (Daniel Brühl) were both Formula 3 racers with big dreams to race in the Formula 1. Both outcasts by their family, they took different approaches to racing. James lived life every day as if it was his last, laughed in the face of danger, and burned out a lot on races. Niki was intelligent, not a risk taker, but good at driving. He was also a bit of an asshole, because he was honest, and cared most about winning.

Years later, both men were in F1 and constantly at the top of the pack, a fierce rivalry between the two, although both racers definitely respected each other.

1976 was the year when the most dramatic events occurred. Fiery crashes, a close finish for world championship, rain storms, disqualifications, you name it.

We also get some insight into their personal lives. Both had wives, James with Suzy (Olivia Wilde), Niki with Marlene (Alexandra Maria Lara). Pierfrancesco Favino played the role of a teammate of Niki’s, and he rocked the mustache well.

Our other star? No lush hair for him, so they can cover it up more.

Holy fuck. I really do mean it, a lot happened in this film and in this rivalry, and I didn’t feel like anything was really spoiled. Sure, that think that happened to Niki? That was kind of spoiled, but that was a big selling point to the movie, and they hinted about it right at the beginning.

I don’t know a lot about F1 racing, but I didn’t have to in order to enjoy this film. Major props to Ron Howard, who’s last film was The Dilemma and well, lame. I felt the fear that those riders must have felt during those difficult races. The way it was all set up really put you in the drivers seat at times. The dialogue was also really great, for both main characters, and I could hear them talk all day.

I think Daniel Brühl was the better actor of the two, putting his whole self into the role, although Chris did fantastic as well. Doing research, I was even more shocked to find out that Brühl was the main character in Good Bye Lenin!, one of the few German movies I own over ten years ago. The film was very graphic when it came to the crashes, accidents, and deaths, so when Niki got injured, it was incredibly cringetastic, yet I could not look away.

But here is the most amazing thing about this film. How close it matches the reality. These events were widely filmed in the 1970s, so I was able to actually watch a lot of the final race, of the race with the crash. I watched these soon after the film, and literally, the film filmed them EXACTLY as they happened in real life. The accident was like, frame for frame recreated the exact same way. How fucking nuts is that? Every race, I have to assume, was equally as correct and not made up. It is mind blowing that Ron Howard went into that much detail, and I am in awe of that ability.

The overall film experience is why it got the review. Sure, some parts I wish they explained better, like the different tire types, and other terminology. I had to ask a friend for some clarification, but holy fuck. Rush was an experience.

4 out of 4.

Video on Demand is a wonderful service, for indie movies. In my area at least, we never get them early on, it will take many many weeks later, perhaps months. At that point, I might as well wait to watch it in the comforts of my very small apartment.

But video on demand lets them complete the indie circuit and let me still get to watch the movie relatively early in a movies theatrical release. I feel like a celebrity, watching a movie before it comes out.

Thankfully, Drinking Buddies, stacked with a pretty famous cast and an indie comedy, has chosen to VOD UP, and let me get my review on. Thanks guys!

Wow, they really do look like buddies!

Ugh. Chicago. Okay, I won’t judge the movie by the city. But still. Chicago.

Our heroes work at a craft beer company in Chicago! Hero is a strange term. Kate (Olivia Wilde) and Luke (Jake Johnson) are both high up the ladders, so they have extra time to have fun while on the job. Their boss (Jason Sudeikis) is fine with it all, as long as their work gets done.

But life is a playground when you work at a beer company! They’d be the perfect couple too, with all their flirting and shenanigans. Too bad they are both in long term committed relationships. Oh yes, what a bummer.

Luke is with Jill (Anna Kendrick), and they are even in marriage talks. Kate is with Chris (Ron Livingston) and he doesn’t get to hang out with Kate’s coworkers like ever. UNTIL NOW. That is, until they go to a cabin in the woods (not a horror movie) as two couples to experience nature and infidelity.

Whoops. That’s no good.

Say one of them breaks up with their significant other anyways. The chances are not high that the other one will break up too, and even lower that it will lead them to each other. Right? Right!?

Fuck. This movie title is so aptly named.

Most important thing to note about Drinking Buddies is that I did not laugh once. Not a single time. The characters laughed, quite often, but there was nothing ever inherantly funny about what they were saying to make me laugh too. It was just friends goofing off with each other, shooting the shit. Character laugh, doesn’t mean comedy. Shit, the term comedy doesn’t even really mean happy ending.

Drinking Buddies ends up being just another strange “comedy” drama indie movie, that tells part of a story, without a real conclusion, and a lot of very real situations. Just this one stars four relatively famous people. That is it.

Okay, sure, you can see Olivia Wilde’s boobs in this one, but only briefly, and that is just because sometimes you just NEED to go skinny dipping. But that isn’t a good reason to watch a movie, is it?

Sure, things happen in this movie, but it doesn’t feel like a lot when it is over. The acting is okay, but the story itself just doesn’t seem like one that needs to be told.

1 out of 4.

I might have picked Deadfall solely from the Blu-Ray cover. Not saying that I am judging the whole thing on the cover, just saying that it helped me choose the movie. When there are so many random ass movies to choose from, you can’t just put them in a hat and pick randomly. Stores get mad at you when you do that.

From the cover, it was clear that it was some sort of thriller. A thriller that took place in the snow! Yeah snow! Maybe a quirky Midwest thriller, like Fargo, or Thin Ice, a more recent film that no one watched! Yeah! Well, with a name like DEADFall, it is probably not quirky. Perhaps there will be accents though?

“It’s a nice shooter, don’t cha know?” Liza (Olivia Wilde) and Addison (Eric Bana) are brother and sister and looking pretty luxurious. They are in a limo after all. Which of course crashes on those icy Michigan roads, killing their driver. A state trooper comes to investigate, and Addison shoots him in the head. Whoa!

Turns out these two are on the run from the law. They took part in a casino heist that has gone wrong, and are trying to reach Canada as soon as they can. Kind of difficult now though. After wandering the woods, they reach a fork in the road and agree to split up to reach Canada faster. No, doesn’t make too much sense.

But lets talk about other plot lines. Jay (Charlie Hunnam) just got out of prison, a former boxer, who is mad at his coach for “betraying him”. So he accidentally hurts him bad, so he too goes on the run, thinking he killed him. He just wants to get home for Thanksgiving, really close to the Canadian border, with his parents (Kris Kristofferson, Sissy Spacek).

Finally, we have Hannah (Kate Mara), a young police officer, who also happens to be the daughter of the chief (Treat Williams), who gives her crap and is way too protective. Typical story. So when there is news of a cop killer in the woods, he totally won’t let her help. But will she listen? WILL SHE?

No. Those are not “Fuck me” eyes, because she is looking at her brother. Don’t be gross. Deadfall would have been a better movie without Olivia Wilde. That sounds harsh.

It would have been a better movie without her character. The most interesting plot line in this movie was of course Eric Bana in the woods alone, doing whatever he can to survive the harsh cold, and yeah, it might involve killing some people, and taking a cabin or two hostage. That was great. Having Jay find Liza and them hanging out in a bar all night because the roads are closed?

Whatever. Don’t care.

Which is probably why I found the ending of the film so disappointing. Characters do change in this movie, but too fast, and it doesn’t make sense their actions by the end. I am kind of just left pissed off. Like the ending to Law Abiding Citizen. Except that movie was wickedly awesome up to the ending, while this one kind of pitter pattered around due to the several plot lines, most of which were meh.

The beginning scene in the movie is great though. It pumped me up, just unfortunately went down hill after that.

Also, there totally were accents. But from Bana/Wilde, who were from Georgia. So that was unexpected I guess.

1 out of 4.

There comes a time in Cinematic History where certain movies seem to leap bounds and fountains over the rest of the movies in that year. Unfortunately, these films are not always recognized for their greatness, and therefore never watched, like Little Shop Of Horrors.

In 2009, with such treasures like Avatar, Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs, Twilight: New Moon, and 2012, one film was overlooked. One film was passed on the side of the round (or trampled by the lazy). That film of course, was Year One.

YES. YEAR ONE. LET ME SHOUT ABOUT IT NOW FOR YOU.

No, I won’t actually shout.

This film is set in history, maybe roughly 1 AD, but that is a rough estimate.

In it, we have Zed (Jack Black), a bad hunter, and Oh (Michael Cera), an okay gatherer. Zed is feeling unloved, so he eats from the forbidden fruit tree to gain all the knowledge of good and evil! Well, that goes badly, and they are kicked out of the tribe. Now he will never get it on with Maya (June Diane Raphael), and Oh won’t be able to impress Eema (Juno Temple).

On their travels, they find that the world is actually a much bigger place than they thought. They run into Cain (David Cross) and Abel (Paul Rudd), and things (obviously) escalate from there.

They find themselves on run from an angry village, learn about the wheel, and end up in Sodom and Gomorrah where orgies occur nightly, and lets not forget about the sodomy. They not only join the city guard, but also become trusted slaves and chosen ones of the royalty. Queen Inanna (Olivia Wilde) takes a personal interest in Zed, to figure out just what the priest is up to.

Can the Chosen One and Oh save the day with their now stunning intellect? Or you know, will they just be sacrificed for rain? Also featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Vinnie Jones, and Hank Azaria.

Don’t make that face. Vinnie Jones isn’t that bad.

I am agog, I am aghast, that I took this long to see this film. Especially when I bought it about a year ago and have had no real good reason to avoid it (other than, you know, other movies to watch). But this may not only be the finest movie I have seen with Jack Black, but Michael Cera as well, and he was in Superbad! Shit. That is why I had to move up my review o this movie. Originally it would be in two weeks, sine I am behind on posting current theater movies, but I really couldn’t let another day go by.

One major reason to talk about this movie is David Cross, who probably gives an Oscar worthy performance as Cain. He has to live with the guilt of killing his brother, living a life of sin and sadness, while at the same time, dealing with two primitive numbskulls who don’t understand how “modern” society work. I bet the only reason he was overlooked is because it is a comedy, and outside of Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, they usually ignore them.

Now I know why she has taken on a lot of bad roles since 2009. She just can’t live up to her past great work in this movie.

Year One reminds me of why I love Olivia Wilde, despite her recent mess ups. What a beautiful creature.

Basically, if you had seen Year One (and statistics show that you probably have not), you would know that every line is an ounce of wit, that popularized Arrested Development back in the day, and currently categories some great comedies like Modern Family and Archer.

Yes, it is historically inaccurate, but that should be a given when it also includes stories from The Bible.

I think I am going to have to forgo going to any future movies until Jack Black and Michael Cera are put in another movie together. Their chemistry (bromance?) seems to have towered over any comedic duo that I have seen before. Yes, even more so than David Spade and Chris Farley.

This movie changed my life in more ways than one (I’d say about four). Hopefully one day it can change your life too.

4 out of 4.

If you missed it, my site wasn’t updated for about a week. I had to go on a big trip into the New Mexico desert, and had no one else working on it, so updates didn’t happen. What did happen was I was left without movies for a good 10 days. I was freaking out. My dreams all involved movies. I was in them, looking for them, or just watching them. Strange, but addictions do strange things.

Either way. The last movie I saw before this adventure was The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and I am saddened to say that I didn’t think about it at all over these 10 days.

The incredible hair, on the other hand…

Burt (Steve Carell) grew up bullied and unloved. Sad times for Burt. But his mom got him a birthday present of a magic kit, by the great and wonderful Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin)! Great, now no one will think he is lame when he knows magic!

Just kidding of course. The only person who cares is Anton (Steve Buscemi) who also has no friends, and they put on an act together, with lots of ideas for future tricks.

Now, 20 years later, they are still a hot Vegas act, with their story of magic and friendship. But their show hasn’t changed in 10 years. They aren’t really friends anymore, and they are generally unlikable my many people who know them, like their dozens of assistant girls. Their boss (James Gandolfini) is looking to shut them down for being so stagnant. There are better magicians out there now, crazy street magicians, who just do completely ridiculous “illusions” to surprise and aww their audiences. Like Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) the mind raper!

Can they restore their friendship, redefine their magic act, and end up on top again? Who knows. But will Olivia Wilde help them? Probably.

Alright everyone. Mr. Jim here is 51. I wonder if they CGI’d his body? Or. Maybe. Magic?

Huh, Jay Mohr had a cameo in this and he made me laugh. Uncomfortable comedic magician. He was one of my favorite characters despite only having one real great scene. That sucks.

Jim Carrey had an interesting role, but his character came off as more annoying than mysterious. Most of the tricks he had to do were just bizarre versus interesting (“That’s the point!” well yeah, but it got annoying. Annoying is never good). Steve Carell is just a very unlikeable character as well, which is okay, but it makes it hard to root for him really ever in the movie, or care if he succeeds or not. I did like Steve Buscemi’s character, he just needed a bigger role overall though.

Honestly, I think it was an average movie until the end. The final stunt, the last act, it just didn’t do it for me at all. Way too over the top (and stupid? That is a strong opinion, I will calm down) to really find acceptable as the end of this movie.

I guess if I want a good movie about magicians, I should stick to the dramas. Maybe Penn will make one later?

1 out of 4.

Mmmm, Butter. Just the sound of it takes me back to the good old days, watching The Glutton Bowl on Fox. That was an eating competition, and yes one of the rounds involved sticks of butter.

But citizens of Iowa might be familiar with another use of butter outside of eating it. Carving it! Which is the main plot point of this pseudo-Dark Comedy, in a tale of betrayal, love, and dairy.

Not to mention great smoothing skillz.

Bob Pickler (Ty Burrell) is the king of Butter carving in Iowa. He has won the best sculpture at the State Fair fifteen years in a row, and has no end in sight. But when the higher ups mention he should probably retire and let someone else have a shot, he agrees and thinks it is a good idea. Too bad his wife, Laura (Jennifer Garner), has built her entire life around their butter empire, from charities, to parties, it is all about butter. There is no way they can survive without it!

So she does what she knows is best and enters the next competition herself. Why not? She has seen her husband do it forever, how hard could it be?

Well, Destiny might have a problem with that. Destiny (Yara Shahidi) is a 10-year old orphan girl, going from bad house to bad house. She already feels out of place, being one of the few black people in the state, but eventually her mother will get better and take her back in! Until then, she is in a new house with the most loving parents ever (Rob Corddry, Alicia Silverstone). On a whim, she decides to also enter the same county competition for the state fair, and it turns out she has the Land O’Lakes touch.

You are probably wondering how this could be a dark comedy, it is a grown woman and a little girl carving butter! Genre wise, I think this has all the features of a normal Dark Comedy, just no death. Oh well, we can’t all be perfect movies. Butter also features Ashley Greene as their teenage experimental daughter, Hugh Jackman as a cowboy car salesman, Kristen Schaal as a Pickler fan girl, and Olvia Wilde as a local stripper getting mixed up in the competition.

So some people might watch this just because of Olivia Wilde. But I’ve heard of worse reasons to see a movie.

A major complaint I am hearing about Butter is the accent of Jennifer Garner. Most people in the movie don’t have an accent, just like most Iowans. How dare she have some sort of weird voice! But I think it is silly to complain about having an accent, just as its silly to complain about not having one. Just because most people don’t have accents doesn’t mean everyone has to talk “normal”.

Overall, this movie is an over the top affair about such a unique/weird topic that I just can’t help but love it. For those who complain that there are not enough original ideas in the movie industry, they should be looking for films like this one. I couldn’t help but compare Butter to other odd movies with events that escalate out of control, such as Fargo or Drop Dead Gorgeous. Outside of its general weirdness, I also found it to be quite funny, unsure of just where the film would take me.

If I was a native Iowan, I would be proud to put this in my State’s catalog. But as an outsider, I will just have to settle for my DVD collection.

3 out of 4.

From what I heard, The Words was in production for awhile. Not a pet project by Bradley Cooper, but something he believed in and fought for with the directors to get made and produced. One of those maybe artsy things.

I think that is what happened. Don’t even feel like looking it up. I am just gonna be spreading facts as if they are true. Boo yah.

Hey look, love. Maybe. Or just walking. People can walk right?

The story begins with famous author Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) doing some section reading from his new book The Words. People love him, and so does some grad student chick Daniella (Olivia Wilde). Yeah, but that’s enough about that. We get to watch his story!

In which we have another writer, Rory Jansen (Cooper) who is struggling. He has good words, but not the best story for a first time author to get his name out into the world. So it sucks to suck. Sucks also for his dad (J.K. Simmons) who is tired of loaning him money, and his wife Dora (Zoe Saldana) who knows her husband can write good words, just can’t get a book deal.

So they decide to do what every NYC couple who is struggling to survive does. Take a honeymoon to Paris. Fuck the police! They even visit some Ernest Hemingway shop, for inspiration. Turns out Paris has some weird gift shops, without logos or names on them, just things. So Dora spends some of their barely any money on a satchel for her husband. Later, in America, Rory finds a compartment in it with a story! The most beautiful story he has ever read. Everything he felt about his own life displayed in words, and it was magnificent. He couldn’t stop thinking about the words. So he eventually killed his family.

Okay that is a lie. But he does type up the story just to have the feeling of what it is like to write those words. But his wife reads it, cries and stuff, and it is amazing. He can’t even tell her they aren’t his words! But he runs with it, and hey look, everyone loves him as a writer.

Except for an old man (Jeremy Irons). Who tells his own story about a young man (Ben Barnes) and his French lover (Nora Arnezeder) after World War 2. Who wrote a story and lost it. And how he is that man. In case you got lost, that would make that a story, in a story, in a story.

Then you know, potential backlash from this knowledge. But not really. Obviously Rory knew the story wasn’t his, just kind of got swept in it all. But now that he knows the real story, what will happen? But that is a book, so who cares, what about the author and grad student huh?
.

Fucking layers man. Stories and shit.

Did you follow all of that? Well good. Because that is like, 4/5 of the story. Yep.

Technically we don’t even get to see the amazing story everyone talks about. Unless it is just the old guys life as is, and not based on it. But whatever.

This movie is slow, and tries to build up to this big reveal, but you know what? Everything that happens is obvious real quickly in the movie. But they take an incredible slow time to go through it. The old guy telling his story after the War takes forever, and isn’t until the second half either. Yet he tells it as if it isn’t obviously a younger version of himself, for some reason.

Arggh. It was frustrating. Everything kind of felt pretentious. The acting wasn’t really bad, it just also didn’t matter. Get this pointless story out of my movie.

0 out of 4.

People Like Us is a movie that actually went to theaters, but I never really heard of it. Heck, still in theaters. I only knew about it because I saw a preview for it in WTEWYE, and was like “Hey, I’ll watch that!” You know. Because I will watch anything.

The cast didn’t hurt the cause either.

Sam (Chris Pine) hates his dad. He also works a potentially sketch job where he buys overstocked goods and trades them to other countries, for profit. Bartering stuff. Currently living with girlfriend Hannah (Olivia Wilde), who is applying to law school, living the dream in NYC. But hey look, he gets in trouble with his job and then his dad dies. Awk. Despite his best attempts, he flies out to LA for the funeral to hang out with his mom (Michelle Pfeiffer). Their relationship is bit strange.

On the will, all he Sam gets is his dads old records, until the lawyer shows up and lets him know of another secret thing left behind. A shaving kit with 150 thousand dollars inside. Hooray! But a note? To give to some kid, Josh Davies (Michael Hall D’Addario). But why? Time to be a spy. He look, he has a mom, that makes since, Frankie (Elizabeth Banks). But she sees upset. Apparently her dad died too.

What’s that, secret family?! Oh shit. Now Sam has a half sister and half-nephew (?) that he never knew about, and has to give him all this money when he himself is having financial trouble? Well clearly the only thing left to do is enter their lives on a false pretense, and learn more about his secret family, before telling them the truth and the money he holds.

Also, Mark Duplass plays a neighbor and very small role.

“So I am just going to be sketch and in your life, and drive your kid around. Is that cool?”

This movie got pretty intense at times, and man did Chris Pine get smacked a lot. Too much. Come on people, women beating on men shouldn’t be seen as okay either.

Also, this movie got super weird at times. Keeping the fact that you are a half brother a secret to your half sister? Super sketch, especially if both people are attractive and you are way overly nice.

Overall I found most of the acting to be pretty good for the film, that was also touching at the same time. It is one of those call your parents right after and fix your problems, movies. Or else you know, regret. Death and shit.

But at the same time it was far too slow at parts, and the whole plotline involving him avoiding the law and getting jail time was super weird. They definitely didn’t flesh that out, just swept it under the rug, and ignored it. That bugged me a lot, finish your storyline.

But still, the ending? Dawwwwwww.

2 out of 4.