Tag: Mystery

Enemies are quite annoying. Everyone probably has a few. I know I have several, including: The Morlocks, Jafar, Tropical Flavored skittles. The list just goes on and on and on.

But what if your enemy was yourself? I have heard that if your enemy is yourself, it is often your worst enemy. That has got to suck. The film Enemy is actually based on that concept!

Actually, it is based on a novel, The Double. It is definitely not based on the movie The Double that came out this year, also dealing with doppelgangers, and it most certainly has nothing to do with the movie The Double from a few years ago.

Huh. Maybe The Double (2014 film) is a twisted doppelganger of The Double (Book) and it prevented Enemy from being a regular doppelganger of The Double (book). The Double (2014 film) stole Enemies identity!

My head hurts. Oooh beards!

Adam Bell (Jake Gyllenhaal) is your average regular college professor. He teaches about totalitarianism and dictators! A theme that may slightly be relevant to the movie. He lives with his girlfriend Mary (Melanie Laurent) and she thinks he is a cheating fool. He has been weird lately and keeping secrets and making secret phone calls.

Why? Because Adam has made a relevation. After watching a movie recommended by a coworker, he noticed a bellhop in the background. And that bellhop looked just like him. Turns out this Anthony Claire (Jake Gyllenhaal) has only been in a few pictures, all side who gives a shit roles, but by golly, he looks just like him. After a lot of sleuthing Adam is able to set up a meeting with Anthony.

Shit. Is. Bananas.

Well, when someone seems to be an exact replica of you with a different personality, who also knows where you live and who you interact with, it is pretty easy to get paranoid. Anthony himself has a pregnant wife (Sarah Gadon) and is in a committed relationship.

What can either of these gentlemen gain from this doppelmagic and more importantly, what can they lose?

It is hard to stalk someone when you don’t know which one is your husband.

Reading up on an analysis of the film and book after I watched the movie, there was apparently a lot that went over my head. Intellectual smart person stuff that might require reading or degrees in movie theory to get. And don’t worry, i am not letting that fact get affect my view. I just had a recurring “what the fuck, spiders?” thought going through my head throughout the movie. I’d say its a small enough part to get by.

Enemy is incredibly well acted and Jake G is showing off over the last few years a great side to himself. With this, Prisoners, End of Watch, I’d almost be willing to watch most anything with him as a main actor in it. Dude figured it out and it was good.

Enemy is not a quick movie and one that requires you to pay attention. It has a small number of important characters in it and really tries hard to drive the appropriate emotions through silence. However, the film is also really friggan yellow. And that just in general bugs the crap out of me. Over filtering.

I hope another film comes out with a similar plot to make more duplication jokes. Really.

3 out of 4.

Odd Thomas was definitely not on my original watch list. Not until I saw that it recently came out and had an young actor on the front who I tended to enjoy. Yep, then I dropped my plans, and decided I needed to see this movie instead.

Apparently it is based on a book series, but also it went under some legal trouble recently. According to the internet, it was delayed indefinitely for release due to funds not being spent as promised for ads or whatever. So they delayed it for over a year! I think other countries ended up getting it before us, because of that. I guess sucks most for the author, who was probably stoked his book was getting made into a movie, but then getting swept under the rug for legal reasons.

Oh well, I am still watching it author dude, don’t worry!

Well, that’s the most fucked up silver surfer I have seen.

Odd Thomas is not about a strange boy named Thomas. Nope. That is his first and last name, Odd Thomas (Anton Yelchin). There is a story behind that, but I won’t get into it.

Let’s just say that Odd’s upbringing has made things a bit weird for the boy. He can see dead people, and they tend to point out who killed them so he can avenge them. He also has other minor supernatural/spiritual abilities when it comes to seeing dead entities. Like the Bodachs above, which only appear when a great death will occur.

Unfortunately, in his small town Pico Mundo, California, he has started to see not just one Bodach, but a LOT of them. They are following around this Fungus Bob Robertson (Shuler Hensley), a nickname, don’t worry, who now Odd has a feeling is going to commit some very heinous crime on his small town. His girlfriend, Stormy (Addison Timlin), who he is destined to be with forever knows about his powers and is willing to help despite having none of her own. He also wants to win the support of her father, Wyatt Porter (Willem Dafoe), the local police chief.

As Odd begins to follow Fungus Bob around, he finds himself somewhere darker and more sinister than he has ever experienced before.

Also featuring Arnold Vosloo, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Kyle McKeever, and Nico Tortorella.

Man, this guy is just a cook. I want my spiritual advisers to at least be Maître D’.

Oh man, a lot of stuff happened in this movie. In particular, I really enjoyed the ending over all. There were twists and turns, everything falling into place, action, death, demons, you name it. But at the same time, the film had a lot of slower parts that I didn’t enjoy as well.

Here is what I can say. I thought Yelchin did a good job. He felt very believable as his character. Despite the mediocre feeling towards parts of the film in the middle, I am giving it a passing grade overall because of how much I liked the ending.

In fact, this would be the third ever movie I review on my website based on a book, that really makes me want to read the book after the fact. The other two were Warm Bodies and The Perks of Being A Wallflower. The main difference of those two and this one is that they got a 4 out of 4, but this one definitely wasn’t a good enough movie to earn that. However, it is certainly interesting. The fact that there are multiple books and most likely no more movies to be made from that increases my chances of reading them.

If you want a weird and unique movie, you might give this a shot, just don’t expect high quality art as you do.

3 out of 4.

Trance came out in theaters in late March, but apparently never came close to my area, so I had to wait until the DVD Release.

You’d think a college town would be able to justify more indie and lesser known releases. But then again, you’d think a college town would also have trivia nights at their bars.

More importantly, Trance was directed by Danny Boyle. Surely the man who did 28 Days Later…, 127 Hours, and Slumdog Millionaire has earned post-indie status by now.

When he rubs his temple that way, my mind feels raped. According to this movie, stealing art used to be easy. You kind of just pranced into a museum, took it and ran, then went home and hid. Shit gets stolen, and a museum gets fucked. Nowadays, it is way high tech and almost impossible without a huge plan to do it. Okay, that isn’t true. Just read the beginning of this Cracked article which states basically the opposite with facts.

But let’s say for this movie art is hard to steal. Simon (James McAvoy) works as a dude who protects art in case someone tries to steam them when they are getting stolen. Guess what. Some people try to steal a famous painting, Witches In The Air, valued at over $25 million.

Franck (Vincent Cassel) and his crew (including Danny Sapani) steal the shit out of that painting, while also knocking out Simon for trying to be a hero. But when they look at their new score, they find that the painting is gone. Shit. What did Simon do!?

Too bad Simon doesn’t remember what he did with the painting. The men who tried to steal it are pretty pissed off, and have tortured him and tore up all of his things. But still, he just does not remember.

So they get a hypnotist, Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson). However, when she begins to work her mind magic, she discovers secrets that none of the individuals thought possible.

Rosario Dawson shows a lot of her…acting talents in this movie. First things first, for you fucking perverts out there. Rosario Dawson for the first time is completely nude in this movie. Like full frontal, lower and upper, multiple times, no body double nude. She is also shaved. Which is relevant to the plot of the movie. I feel dirty saying all of that, but not really.

There are only three main characters in this movie, but Danny Boyle makes sure you have to work to earn the story. There are twists, there are turns, there are mind fucks. If you stop paying attention, you might not be able to keep up, so it really rewards those people who don’t have short attention spans. It assumes the watcher is intelligent, and will take you on an (often really loud) journey.

I think by the end the story might have gotten a bit too ahead of itself, making too many leaps and bounds. Despite that, it was still a great story, another fantastic movie from Danny Boyle, and another reason why I hate the local theaters.

3 out of 4.

The Tall Man movie looks like your standard horror creepy film. We got a clear bad guy, the movie is named after him, and he is intimidating looking.

Right? After all, here is the IMDB description.

When her child goes missing, a mother looks to unravel the legend of the Tall Man, an entity who allegedly abducts children.

Alright, yeah, some Tall Man thing steals kids. Creepy.

But it turns out this movie is misleading as fuck. So my plot summary is going to have “spoilers” in it. Know that in advance.

Hey, don’t go running away. Spoilers aren’t the end of the world.

Basically we have a small town that used to be big, but the mine closed, and everything died. People be poor, yo. Also, kids go missing a lot, and never found. Rumors of some Tall Man that takes them away in the night.

Julia (Jessica Biel) is a nurse who lost her husband, the towns doctor, a few years prior. So she lives in a big house with her nurse and her little boy. WHOM GETS TAKEN BY A TALL MAN AND TIES UP THE NURSE.

Thankfully Julia chases him down, she ain’t no weak woman yo, crashes the truck, and tries to save her boy, but still fails.

Here is where the spoilers really begin.

The Tall Man is a woman in disguise, who is stealing her son back, because she claims that son is hers, and he was stolen years earlier. What? Biel is the Tall Man? Only kind of. Maybe there is an organization of people who steal kids from poor homes. Because kids from poor homes grow up to be poor themselves most of the time, and live shitty lives. Just a positive feedback cycle of being poor and lame. So they take the kids and bring them to rich homes for people to raise them better and help the world.

Yes, that is what the movie is really about. Like a third of the way into it you find out that the kid isn’t actually hers. Also there is a girl named Jenny (Jodelle Ferland) in it too. She is kind of important.

Well, at least someone is finally thinking of the children.

Long story short, The Tall Man is a social commentary with a bit of Mystery/Thriller, yet advertised as a horror. None of those genres which are normally known for their big stances on certain social issues.

Poor people stay poor, and rich people can succeed. I guess that is true. It is like a question on a dating site that I used. “Should people with low IQs be allowed to breed?” A lot of people feel pompous and say no, and fuck that. I think they should be able to do whatever the hell they want, especially if it is one of the most basic urges out there.

This movie doesn’t say that poor people shouldn’t be able to keep kids if they can’t get out of their poor situation. No, it lives it up in the air for the viewer to discuss afterwards, or something. But since that is what the movie is about? Even with the final words questioning if it is all worth it, I really think it is implying they are doing the right thing.

That is all sorts of fucked up.

For other aspects, the movie uses surprisingly good cameras to film it all, so it looks pretty good on Blu-Ray. In other news, I really hate the movie calls what happens in it a twist. It is only a twist because of how it was advertised, aka incorrectly. That is just misleading, and that pisses me off. It is like they are ashamed of their own movie.

1 out of 4.

My quest to watch all the Ryan Gosling movies has lead me down interesting paths. It turns out he has been in multiple thriller / almost horror films, but none of them are any sort of standard slasher film. Stay ended up just being strange the entire time, with Gosling as a minor character. But with All Good Things, it is a mystery/thriller, with Gosling at the helm! And he maybe kills someone!

But no. It is still weird and different.

This is the best part of the movie. Gosling as an old man in lady clothes.

All Good Things is based on a true story, kind of. It is based on a guy named Robert Dunst. In fact, it is based on the most famous unsolved murder case in NYC history. But is it interesting?

David Marks (Gosling, aka Robert Dunst, but the name was changed?) is a real estate guy. Making dat money. He didn’t want to though. So he found Katie (Kirsten Dunst) and married all up in her. His dad (Frank Langella) didn’t approve of it.

Well, they move away to Vermont, open up a nice health food store, but still take in money from the family business to subsidize it all. Either way, times are tough, eventually he has to go back to NYC to join the job, make real money. He has to do some shady shit though, causing his mood to change, and become a lot more angry and bitter of a man.

But Katie stands by her man. And eventually dies. But was it David? WAS IT?

Hey, Kristen Wiig is running around. ALSO. There is a clean shaven Nick Offerman, but I can’t find good proof of it on the internet. But it is mindblowing. My second favorite part after the first picture.

Just, imagine him with even less stubble and even more humility.

Whew. What a story. Wait, no. I mean, what a bore-y. I am bored. It is all sorts of boring.

Another moment where acting is pretty darn fine and consistent, but no one cares. Shit, it was hard enough to keep up with the story, having different court room procedures interrupt the story, making it all feel out of order. But the only reason why I know how it ends is thanks to the words they threw at the ending, to tell me where the characters are today.

Whether they are still dead and not sure who killed it, or hiding in drag, or what.

I guess part of the problem with doing a movie about an unsolved case, is not actually knowing what happened. Like the rest of the world. So it is a bunch of bullshit anyways.

Apparently Robert Durst liked the movie? That’s fine. Don’t care. Sucks to be him if he didn’t do it and everyone assumes he did though. Just. Just no.

1 out of 4.

Case 39 is a movie I easily walked by hundreds of times before giving it a chance. Why did I give it a chance now?

Boredom, mostly. The cover is boring. The stars aren’t my favorite. I just never cared about ever seeing it.

That is until I found out that Bradley Cooper was in it. Okay, fine, let’s do this.

Neither of these two people are Bradley Cooper.

Emily Jenkins (Renee Zellweger) is a…social worker! Ah yes, social worker, of course. She is pretty full on her schedule too. She works on child neglect things around the city. In fact, she already has 38 open cases! But her boss makes her add one more. Let’s call it Case 39. Great. Fine.

Well, she goes to the house and finds out it is very strange. Lilith (Jodelle Ferland) is starting to do bad at school and her parents are strange. She is a little bit worried about her safety, so checks in her at night a little bit later and finds her parents trying to burn her alive in an oven. Oh shit! They be crazy! They get locked up and she needs a home. Lillith wants to be adopted by Emily, but that is ridiculous.

Too bad it happens anyways. Weird things start to happen. A few weeks later, another of her cases ended up killing his parents. Whoa. Serious business. But the detectives also find out that before it happened, the kid received a phone call from Emily’s home. We all assume it was Lilith, so she gets some of that psychiatrist talk from Doug (Bradley Cooper!!) to figure out whats up. Then Doug kills himself later. Whoa.

Does Lilith have some power over people to cause them to kill themself? Is she just mentally fucked up and brings dismay to others? Or is she secretly an evil demon in a kid body brought to bring torture to everyone around? It could go either way. Straight demon horror film, or psychological thriller. Also there is a detective to help figure out whats up with Ian McShane.

Put that kid in an oven. Kids love oven.

Spoilers? It is totally a demon. They give some hints that it might not be something supernatural, just a disturbed child. Too bad, we get a demon kid movie. She also goes full demon by the end. It is very confusing at what her actual purpose is in this film. It is very irrational, and I have no idea why she even pretends to be a kid instead of just going on a demon rage.

Unfortunately, this film was pretty boring. The psychological route would have made it better overall, with a lot of people slowly going crazy, and that poor kid being in the middle of it. Misery does breed misery. That would require better writing, but it probably would still only be a 2 at that point. The beginning of the film was interesting, but as soon as the social worker decided to foster a child, that clearly interfered with the job, I lost all hope that the movie would be interesting. Sucks to suck, Case 39.

1 out of 4.

With The Raven we have a movie based on Poe’s works! Hooray! But not just his stories. This is actually a tale set in the “Real world” where someone is off murdering all these people based on the works of Poe. Even better.

I’ve seen weirder concepts for a killer to copycat. I am hoping one day there is a movie about a serial killer basing his kills off of classic Simpsons episodes. But then something else happened. Turns out this is a fictional account of the last few days of Edgar Allen Poe’s life. No one knows about what happened to him before his death, kind of just found him all drunk and dead. So why not have the actual Poe help solve a case about murders based on his book? Ehh, that’s not weird at all.

I hate how much I still think he looks like Matt Macfadyen. Mostly because its all in my head?

Alrighty then. Poe (John Cusack) likes to drink. No one cares about his work, and he is poor. Life is hard, and having a hard life leads to great stories apparently. Some people recognize his work, but I guess at this time, most people don’t care. We all know an artist becomes much more famous once they are dead!

But as you know, some murders go down. Apparently the crime scene looks like The Murders in the Rue Morgue, a story of Poes! Detective Fields (Luke Evans) realizes this and naturally questions Poe. He is all, what in the fucks, and appalled. So he gets brought in to help solve the case! This is good, because he is into the Emily (Alice Eve), but her father (Brendan Gleeson), captain of the force isn’t okay with that. Well, maybe helping out can get him on the good side!

But yeah, he doesn’t really help too much. Stuff keeps happening, based on the Pit and the Pendulum, The Tell-Tale Heart, and more stories I have never heard of. But will the pursuit of the truth in this case be the death of Poe?

Well, yes. That isn’t a spoiler. We know he is dead by the end mysteriously. Hopefully he at least gets an answer though.

I watched this movie and still have no real idea what is up with this scene.

Blah. I either had a weird taste in my mouth the whole time I watched this movie, or I just found the movie itself unappealing. I guess I was a bit turned off knowing that Poe was actually in the movie, rather than just a serial killer imitating Poe’s works later. Which yes, is my fault. But still. Definitely was put off, making it feel like they are cheapening the real tragedy that was Poe’s final days.

It might not help that I didn’t get most of the literary references. I think I have read three whole Poe stories in my life. I probably know more, from TV show allusions or whatever, I just couldn’t name them off the top of my head. But overall I thought the movie was a bit boring, and possibly a rushed piece of work that was trying to cash in…something. I don’t know. Not like there has been any other Poe show/movies that have come out recently. Kind of on its own.

Oh well, I got nothing.

1 out of 4.

I will admit, I tried to watch Winter’s Bone before and found myself lost have thirty minutes. But that is only because I was multi tasking it up, and didn’t really pay attention to it. Bad movie reviewer, bad! Which is why I stopped watching it.

And then, you know, kept putting it off. But hey, look, I did it. Get off my back, world.

“And after this, I will teach you how to use a bow and arrow. It could save your life!”

Yay meth! Meth, the best drug ever. Developed all across America, either in giant underground factories, or in small mountain towns where the law has no reach. Well, this ain’t Breaking Bad, so you can figure out where this takes place.

Ree (Jennifer Lawrence) is a 17yr old girl, with two younger siblings, and a mother who just ain’t there in the head. She has a daddy too, but he hasn’t been seen in a few weeks. He was arrested for cooking Meth, released on a bond, but now he has gone up and maybe R-U-N-N-O-F-T.

But that can’t be! Their family ain’t no cowards. Something else must up. But time is a runnin’ out. If he doesn’t show up for his court date, they will lose the bond, and apparently the house. Shit, they are already poor enough.

So she sets off on a mini-journey investigating the whereabouts of he pa, including her meth addicted uncle Teardrop (John Hawkes), up to the local crime boss and his army of women soldiers (Sheryl Lee).

“No, don’t volunteer yourself to go to the games for your younger siblings! Don’t do it!”

Winter’s Bone is definitely a lot better if you actually paying attention to what is going on. The thing you should probably realize is that this movie is a lot slower than other modern movies, so ADD people, stay away.

As Ree began to unravel her father’s disappearance, things got more and more weird. Unfortunately, not weird enough for my jaded self. Once she actually discovers the truth about her dad, and where he is, and how to get him back home? That part is a bit fucked up.

I also thought the acting was really well done. I just don’t think enough happened in the story for me. Part of the ending seemed like a bit of a cop out for me as well, problems got solved in a…rather easy way for my liking.

It was a pretty fine movie, just not my favorite. One I probably don’t have to see again anytime soon either.

2 out of 4.

A lot of times when figuring out what a movie is about you can break down the words in the title to get a good clue.

For Echelon Conspiracy, there is two words. Conspiracy? Alright, government is probably involved, a cover up, crime and shit. Fun.

Echelon? Alright well fuck you too movie.

Even the main characters can’t figure out the Echelon part ahead of time.

Max Peterson (Shane West) works for a security company, specifically computer based technologies, and is overseas finishing installation to a system. When he checks into his hotel, he receives a package. Inside the package? A wicked cool new cell phone. Sweet. He assumes it is from the hotel, and receives a text telling him to stay an extra day, and why not, he does. Turns out his original flight home crashed. Whoops. That would have sucked, you know dying.

He is unable to tell where the cell phone comes from, but it keeps giving him good advice with texts. So why not follow him. Heck, it even takes him to a casino, tells him which machine to go to, and how far it is from a jackpot. And shit, he is right about that too. Takes his money to a black jack table, told to bet it all, black jack. Shit is crazy! Casino doesn’t like that. Head of security John Reed (Edward Burns) is trying to figure out whats up with his luck, notes his phone and they make him turn it off. But now he loves gambling and the money. He contacts a Russian cab driver Yuri Malanin (Sergey Gubanov) he had earlier, who sells accessories, to let him turn his texts into voice into an earpiece. Yay more cheating!

But once he gets a even bigger jackpot, security tries to throw him out when he is instead intercepted by Agent Dave Grant (Ving Rhames). Oh shit, the NSA? Apparently other people have received these messages/phones, all random people. First comes wealth, then random instructions, then death. Max is the only one they have found alive before that happens and want to find out where the texts are coming from.

Even the head of the NSA (Martin Sheen) gets involved. But shit really hits the fan when they find out it is coming from Echelon, a very smart computer device they have built, to protect America and what America stands for. But no one is using Echelon, which has access to all phones/emails/security cameras, to do this. Nope. The machine has become sentient, and is planning something potentially catastrophic.

Also, there is a random girl played by Tamara Feldman who doesn’t really add anything to the movie in my eyes.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Holy fuck why are your eyes that big?!

I loved this movie. Well, the beginning. It was a lot more entertaining when it was secretive still. But after it turned into a sentient computer, and wondering what it wanted, there was still over half the movie to go. Hmm. Seems to lose its appeal at that point. Why not just stop doing what it says? Except for the fact that it will choose someone else, but still, calm down guys. If you know what is doing it, make it stop at the source, and you are good.

They just take forever to get to that conclusion, and try to throw a lot of ethical freedom stuff in the movie, that isn’t at all clever, and all kind of lame.

I am surprised it had a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, but only like 12 people reviewed it. Not the normal (hundreds?) Not sure. Weird site.

Good beginning, bad everything else. For shame.

2 out of 4.

Ready for a vague ass movie review? Because you are about to get one.

Why? Because The Nines is weird. Super weird. And weird stuff happens early on that I didn’t see coming and I think it is essential to the story to not know about it ahead of time.

Literally clicking on the imdb link and looking at the cast list may be enough to make you go “Wait, what?” and give some spoilers away.

So let’s see what the hell I come up with!

EVEN THIS IS A SPOILER. Wait. No. Just a mouse trap.

The movie begins with Gary (Ryan Reynolds) being a pretty troubled dude. He is an actor, and just got into an accident. Maybe some naracotics were involved. He also had burned down his house. So now he is in another house, and under house arrest. He hears noises and thinks the house is haunted so he tries to run away, but the cops find him and put an ankle bracelet on. Not before a strange encounter with a deaf girl (Elle Fanning).

Shit! Not only that, but his publisher Margaret (Melissa McCarthy) now is moving into the mansion with him, to keep a watch and keep him from going insane. She didn’t know that there was also a neighbor Sarah (Hope Davis), who he has been talking to who is also under “house arrest” because of her baby.

But once they do meet, you can tell they don’t like each other (it isn’t subtle. They argue), and are arguing about the truth and Gary finding out. Finding out what? Why 9s keep popping up and notes about “The Nines” that he doesn’t understand? And what WILL happen when he leaves the premises of his house again?

Cue crazy shit.

For all you know, this might be in the movie, and not just a random cute koala.

Uhh. So it was a weird movie, and the plot summary I gave was only the first third. It is broken up into three parts, all pretty different from each other, yet weirdly connected. IMDB has the summary as

A troubled actor, a television show runner, and an acclaimed videogame designer find their lives intertwining in mysterious and unsettling ways.

Which is true! But also still a bit misleading. It definitely goes into a psychological/potentially spiritual direction that I didn’t see coming. And earlier on, when a chant of “Nine!” happened, it actually scared me and I was worried I was about to watch some screwed up Horror movie. Thankfully, it wasn’t really as scary after that, just weird.

While I like that it leaves it for some sort of interpretation and deeper meaning, I still think it could have been a lot better. I don’t think any of the main three cast members put on a great performance, all of it mostly just ehh. Thankfully the mystery kept me interested. I am not mad at what the ending turned out to be, but overall, I think they could have one a lot better on the story.

2 out of 4.