Tag: April Fools

There comes a time in Cinematic History where certain movies seem to leap bounds and fountains over the rest of the movies in that year. Unfortunately, these films are not always recognized for their greatness, and therefore never watched, like Little Shop Of Horrors.

In 2009, with such treasures like Avatar, Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs, Twilight: New Moon, and 2012, one film was overlooked. One film was passed on the side of the round (or trampled by the lazy). That film of course, was Year One.

YES. YEAR ONE. LET ME SHOUT ABOUT IT NOW FOR YOU.

No, I won’t actually shout.

This film is set in history, maybe roughly 1 AD, but that is a rough estimate.

In it, we have Zed (Jack Black), a bad hunter, and Oh (Michael Cera), an okay gatherer. Zed is feeling unloved, so he eats from the forbidden fruit tree to gain all the knowledge of good and evil! Well, that goes badly, and they are kicked out of the tribe. Now he will never get it on with Maya (June Diane Raphael), and Oh won’t be able to impress Eema (Juno Temple).

On their travels, they find that the world is actually a much bigger place than they thought. They run into Cain (David Cross) and Abel (Paul Rudd), and things (obviously) escalate from there.

They find themselves on run from an angry village, learn about the wheel, and end up in Sodom and Gomorrah where orgies occur nightly, and lets not forget about the sodomy. They not only join the city guard, but also become trusted slaves and chosen ones of the royalty. Queen Inanna (Olivia Wilde) takes a personal interest in Zed, to figure out just what the priest is up to.

Can the Chosen One and Oh save the day with their now stunning intellect? Or you know, will they just be sacrificed for rain? Also featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Vinnie Jones, and Hank Azaria.

Don’t make that face. Vinnie Jones isn’t that bad.

I am agog, I am aghast, that I took this long to see this film. Especially when I bought it about a year ago and have had no real good reason to avoid it (other than, you know, other movies to watch). But this may not only be the finest movie I have seen with Jack Black, but Michael Cera as well, and he was in Superbad! Shit. That is why I had to move up my review o this movie. Originally it would be in two weeks, sine I am behind on posting current theater movies, but I really couldn’t let another day go by.

One major reason to talk about this movie is David Cross, who probably gives an Oscar worthy performance as Cain. He has to live with the guilt of killing his brother, living a life of sin and sadness, while at the same time, dealing with two primitive numbskulls who don’t understand how “modern” society work. I bet the only reason he was overlooked is because it is a comedy, and outside of Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, they usually ignore them.

Now I know why she has taken on a lot of bad roles since 2009. She just can’t live up to her past great work in this movie.

Year One reminds me of why I love Olivia Wilde, despite her recent mess ups. What a beautiful creature.

Basically, if you had seen Year One (and statistics show that you probably have not), you would know that every line is an ounce of wit, that popularized Arrested Development back in the day, and currently categories some great comedies like Modern Family and Archer.

Yes, it is historically inaccurate, but that should be a given when it also includes stories from The Bible.

I think I am going to have to forgo going to any future movies until Jack Black and Michael Cera are put in another movie together. Their chemistry (bromance?) seems to have towered over any comedic duo that I have seen before. Yes, even more so than David Spade and Chris Farley.

This movie changed my life in more ways than one (I’d say about four). Hopefully one day it can change your life too.

When I first saw the previews for Inception I thought “Meh”. That is a hard meh too, not one of those soft cat mehs. Just seemed silly. Kind of reminded me of Dark City, in a strange, not at all like Dark City way.

The only reason I went to see it was because of all the hype from my friends, who tend to hype the same things all the time. But still, had a free afternoon, and people to go with. Sure I was kind of tired, but I mean, theres no way I could fall asleep during a movie in a theater right?

Spoilers: I may have incepted Inception.

Movie begins with dreams inside of dreams. That is a common motif. Leonardo DiCaprio is the head thief, because of his beady eyes. The Cobra Commander also is on the team, and helps make sure all the nuts and bolts work, and designs how that shit will go down. They also later get Juno, an architect student, to help build the maze dream-scapes. Confused yet? Good

These bitches pretty much, using a special technology, go into peoples dreams and convince them to give up their secrets. So they steal things, more or less, from their own consciousness. Bank codes, safe codes, what have you. Sometimes they have to go dream within a dream within a dream to get shit done. But the deeper you go affects how time moves. So it moves super slow in the real life compared to how fast the dreams are going.

They have to get some shit from Cillian Murphy, for lots of cash. Sure, Leo has some family problems at home. He lost his wife, Marion Cotillard, in a dream Limbo place, and has to resort to having Michael Caine watch his children while he is out doing illegal things.

“Oh, err, umm. I found them this way?”

Either I didn’t get this movie, and I am a dumb, or this movie is a shit sandwich in a basket. One of the two.

Offering immoral behavior, and invading the last known sanctuary of a man, aka his mind, this film should probably have been rated NC-17 for penetration that deep.

None of the characters seemed believable, especially that old asian guy. Whats up with him?

I think people just liked it because of the supposed mysterious ending at the end. Bitch please, that top was going to spin forever.

Possibly the worst movie I saw in 2010, which is a surprise, because I actually watched Jonah Hex too.