Tag: Simon Cowell

Scoob!

Oh hey, remember how everyone wanted a new Scooby Doo movie? Nah.

Okay, that is fair, we don’t have to ask for a movie to come out to get one. Sometimes the studios know what is up. For example, I bet people did ask for a live action Scooby-Doo movie in the late 90’s early 2000’s, and what it gave was a really cheesy strange story, with adult jokes, some obvious some not. And honestly, it sort of filled a really good niche back then. Go figure.

So even though this animated version is going full CGI, and is dealing apparently with the childhood beginnings of the gang (ehhh), as long as we got mysteries to solve and people in masks, it shouldn’t be too hard to make it work. Unless they decide to go for the “monsters are real” gag, which basically every Scooby Doo entity has been doing for the last 20 years, so it is kind of getting annoying. Please, give us weird people in masks.

Remember, if a movie has an exclamation point, it should be a musical. Scoob! should be a musical. 

kids
Ah yes, origin stories, like a superhero movie.

Alright, here we go! Shaggy (Will Forte) and Scooby-Doo (Frank Welker) meet on the beach when they were younger. Shaggy needed friends. Scooby-Doo needed a home.

Later on, at Halloween, some bullies mess with the duo, and some other kids help the two out! Their names are Fred (Zac Efron), Daphne (Amanda Seyfried), and Velma (Gina Rodriguez). Also right after that, they end up solving a mystery of a lot of stolen goods that no one even knew was a thing! They just had to meddle.

Alright, years later, many mysteries, they want to expand their operations. Their Mystery Machine needs work, so they want bigger clients, and higher paying jobs to become a success. And then they bring in Simon Cowell for some reason, who barely insults Shaggy and Scooby who leave as a result.

The other friends don’t go and stop them, so eventually, Shaggy and Scooby get attacked by robots. And then abducted by aliens? Nah, it is actually Blue Falcon (Mark Wahlberg), Dynomutt (Ken Jeong), and their assistant, Dee Dee Skyes (Kiersey Clemons). They know that Scooby-Doo is important for something. Because Dick Dastardly (Jason Isaacs) is looking for him and some ancient skulls, to maybe summon dog Cerebus from the underworld. Ah yes, real mythical monsters.

Also starring Christina Hendricks and Tracy Morgan.

chair
What nice chairs. And I feel like a hater not showing Daphne/Velma/Fred.

It is really early on in the film when you realize this is not going to be something you want to see again, and for a lot of people, that is when Simon Cowell appears. But before that, I will acknowledge they did a version of the original intro. It was okay in the singing department, really basic, but they did recreate parts of the intro and use it as a montage of solving some mysteries. That was nice.

That was also where most of the Scooby-Doo action remained. The kid mystery was very awkward, because when a ghost appeared in the house they already had their goal completed. They could have just…left, like any normal person. Having this long run through the place and eventual capture of the ghost to find it was a masked person didn’t even make sense. 

But let’s get back to Cowell. This movie came out in 2020, why the hell is Cowell in this movie. This is not 2004. Kids for the most part won’t understand that at all.

In terms of how Scooby-Doo this movie is, it is Scooby-Not. Most of the time the gang is split up (which happens a lot sure, but not to this scale). This is a superhero movie. It is about Blue Falcon, and Scooby-Doo wanting to feel more special. It has a real monster and issue to deal with, and…it is just a mess.

A lot of the voice acting felt off. I especially did not like Jeong as Dynomutt, because it just sounded like Ken Jeong, not a robot dog. 

It was a boring film for the most part, with some other Hanna Barbera properties thrown in for fun. It is really easy to see where the movie is going, where the conflicts will appear, and what will happen at the end. It is such a waste of a nice property. It felt like something they would try as a third or fourth film of a reboot, not right away. This was barely Scooby-Doo. Focus on the basics first.

And obviously it wasn’t a musical, but it did have a lot of modern music because that is easier to get the kids to love it. 

1 out of 4.

One Direction: This Is Us 3D

Since 2009, we have been blessed as a culture and as a nation to receive a summer concert movie every year. In 3D, no less!

At first we were given the Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a single song I have ever heard from them, so I never even considered watching it. This one confuses me the most.

Then we were given Kenny Chesney: Summer In 3D, which is the only country artist to be given this treatment. I guess they were experimenting early on.

In 2011, we received the mac daddy of concert movies, as they kicked it up a notch with Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. If anything, we learned a valuable life lesson from his title alone.

In 2012, I can honestly say we were given the best 3D Concert movie yet, Katy Perry: Part Of Me. I laughed, I cried, I was entertained. I even became more of a fan.

Now, in the year the Mayans could not predict, we are given One Direction: This Is Us, a foreign band who I really don’t know anything about. From my research, these concert movies have been getting better and better each year, so I expect this one to make the most noise and win all of the awards.

Zane focus
They are in order of most important to least important.
“Oh my god, a boy!” These are not the words I expected to hear when I entered the theater a few minutes before the movie began. What I saw was one entire row full of middle school girls. They quickly informed me that they didn’t know each other, and were all fans who just met. There was also one mom sitting behind them already asleep.

“Hey, who is YOUR favorite?!” Well, crap, I am not at all prepared for this! I make up a lie, and try to go back to blending in, but that is practically impossible. It ended up being 19 middle school girls, 1 mom, and a neck beard movie reviewer.  Apparently I was not the target demographic?

“Hey, you don’t care if we scream and yell during the movie right?”

Go ahead. Go crazy.

3D has really made leaps and bounds since Avatar, but little did I know that they would go to these lengths to improve the overall concert experience. From what I can tell, they decided to put a row of screaming middle school girls in every 3D showing of One Direction: This Is Us. What better way to enjoy the songs, than with a gaggle of girls singing and screaming every time a member of the band removes his shirt? What I really wonder is how they are going to include this feature with the eventual Blu-Ray 3D release?

Regular Group
Actual shot from the movie. No one is shirtless, for your dissatisfaction.
One Direction is made up of five boys from the United Kingdom, who all auditioned for The X-Factor, and they decided to put them into a boy band! Plucked by Simon Cowell personally, NiallZaynHarryLiam, and Louis became an overnight sensation that rocked their island, then the world. They didn’t win The X-Factor, but that didn’t matter.

In this movie you get to hear a big selection of their catalog performed live and on stage for your enjoyment, while also hearing a few numbers acoustically while they practice. I will note, the 3D used during these concerts were incredibly well done, and high quality. You also get to see them with their families from their small home towns, superimposed with them wandering Europe, Asia, and more.

One Direction: This Is Us is definitely not the best 3D Summer Concert movie I have found, just the second best. Katy Perry made me cry, after all. Given the screaming girl fan base, I don’t see this movie bombing in any way, as it probably only took $10 million to make. As the great Drake once said, as long as the outcome is income, na’mean?

To answer your question little girl, I guess my favorite One Directioner is Zayn. He clearly has the most talent singing wise. I would follow that up with Niall, just because I feel bad for him. He has a strange name, doesn’t get to sing as much, and is (probably) the only one that can play guitar. Poor Niall.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go back to youtubing all of their songs.

 

2 out of 4.