Tag: Rob Huebel

The House is one of those comedies that if we ignored, collectively, we would have forgotten it existed in about two weeks max.

Or at least that is how it affected me. I saw some previews, was turned off from the film each time (And the color schemes are godawful), and forgot it existed. The only reason I watched it was to see if it was one of the worst of the year, like some of those summer comedies end up being.

And I am sad to say that it isn’t even bad enough for that list. It is just a regular bad film, spoilers, that now I unfortunately will remember for at least two more months before forgetting again.

And there is more of those hideous orange lights.

Scott (Will Ferrell) and Kate Johansen (Amy Poehler) are a couple, and you really just have to trust me on this. Although they have no chemistry, they both are actors and this is a movie, damn it.

They are also proud of their daughter (Ryan Simpkins), who is about to finish high school, heading to college, smart smart smart. They were hoping to help pay for it through a community scholarship that is given out every year, and their baby is the favorite. But when it comes time to receive the funds, it turns out the town is out of the money, being spent on water parks instead.

Through silly plot reasons, and from their best friend (Jason Mantzoukas) who is in a rut (because all of his characters are in ruts), they decide to open up an illegal underground casino in his home. They will get some locals hooked, split and take home the difference. If they work all summer, they can earn enough to pay for all four years of college and not have to worry anymore!

Minus the fact that cops, the local board, and maybe even gangsters will want to shut them down. And cheaters and people who are genuinely dicks. But you know. Shenanigans.

Starring Nick Kroll, Allison Tolman, Rob Huebel, Rory Scovel, Lennon Parham, and Cedric Yarbrough.

Or…or! Or or or! They are very successful, no problems happen, and the movie ends happy. There’s a chance for that?

The problem with The House is there are some moments where I actually smiled, or found something amusing. Sure, these moments were few and far between, which would be one of the many reasons to give it this rating. But I would rather it just be completely unfunny and terrible, so I could just bash it much easier.

Instead I just need to talk about normal things. Like the nonexistent chemistry between our leads. Like Mantzoukas playing a character I have seen him do a dozen times. Like a very boring subplot of an affair in their extremely local government, boring villains and just boring plot in general.

People will watch this film for zany casino problems handled by people who can’t handle them at all. But this film is not led by people who are interesting in these positions, especially not by Ferrell who is just digging this uninteresting hole of roles the more he gets old.

Forget about The House, forget about this review, just forget it all happened, and then the movie might be better. When it is off of our collective minds.

Bet you never heard of Fun Mom Dinner!

With words like that, it sounds like an absolute blast! It has fun! Mom! And dinner! The exclamation points are provided by me, free of charge!

First things first, it looks like it is trying to be a quick cash grab for those Bad Moms fans, which I am sure there are dozens of them. Or at least enough dozens to make a sequel worthy. There have actually been a lot of girl group films this year, with also Girls Trip and Rough Night both happening this summer. I wonder if this is all a result of Bad Moms, or are women just being catered to in films finally?

If so, I apologize that the movies they are throwing at you seem to be so shitty.

A less famous version of Bad Moms, no way?

Being a mom is hard and usually it lacks fun. So some mom’s like to go out once a month or so and just have fun, drink some booze, and make sure they aren’t surrounded by kids 24/7. Namely it has been Melanie (Bridget Everett), a high intensity mom who volunteers a lot and is rules happy at the school, and Jamie (Molly Shannon) who is divorced, loves Instagram, and also very involved. But they want to invite Emily (Katie Aselton) to their ranks on the next night. She is relatively new to their school, seems involved and seems nice.

Emily seems to think it will be a good idea. After all, she does want a break and she does need new friends. She just asks if they can bring her other mom friend, Kate (Toni Collette), who has been bringing kids to that school longer. They actually know about Kate, as she has been downright rude most of the time and pretty stuck up when it comes to hanging out with moms. But they agree, in honor of the spirit of their night.

After some husband convincing, the ladies are off, and of course, their plans are not going to go as expected. Thankfully, I am sure, they will grow with each other on this crazy night of theirs and no one will get hurt.

Also starring some dudes like Paul Rudd, Adam Scott, (both of them were producers) Adam Levine, Paul Rust, David Wain, and Rob Huebel.

I will agree that unicorns and Cheez-Its is my kind of party.

I went in expecting Fun Mom Dinner to be a worse version of Bad Moms. And what I got instead was not something worse than Bad Moms, just something just as as bad as Bad Mom’s.

And that is really all I should have to say. It has a lesser production quality, more people in it, an occasional laugh, but an incredibly forgettable story.

What was it about again? I forgot, especially since this review is coming out many weeks after the fact that I wrote this. I don’t want to read the middle part later again. They have more drugs and alcohol than expected, we have to watch the dads actually be fathers (shocking), and people make mistakes. Thankfully, they come closer through the experience.

I honestly don’t have anything really to say about this one. It wasn’t the worst film of the year, it just wasn’t close to being good.

Never watched Baywatch, never watched Baywatch Nights, but I understand the appeal of it all. Womens, womens, and David Hasselhoff. Sure, good.

And then they said they would do a movie reboot of Baywatch, decades later. My initial thoughts: FUCK YES!

But why? Well, history has shown to me that taking a serious show and putting it in a comedic modern reboot leads to extreme laughs. Sure, I only have 21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street to base that opinion off of, but what if Baywatch is as good as those two films? It has the actors, it has a lot it can work with, it should be a sure sign of success!

Then I will eventually realize that it is just Phil Lord and Christopher Miller being an insanely funny directing duo, and not anyone else pulling the strings.

I didn’t want this generic photo, but it was one of the few that actually was decent.

Over somewhere in California, I guess, is a bay that totally needs to be watched. The lifeguard team is led by Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), his second-in-command Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera), and CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach). There are other people on the team too, apparently, but they are background characters with no names or words. Normally they only add a single member to their team a year, but this year they have spots for three people!

Spoilers, the spots go to Matt Brody (Zac Efron), an Olympic swimmer who needs community service and sort of just gets the spot against the wishes of Mitch, Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), a girl who just likes life guarding I guess, and Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass), a guy who doesn’t give up, is basically a tech person and lusts after CJ.

Anyways, Mitch likes to go above and beyond his duty, trying to solve crimes outside of his jurisdiction. Because he has no jurisdiction, because he is a lifeguard. This gets him into problems, with the above people and all of that.

Starring Priyanka Chopra as the villain, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as a cop, Amin Joseph and Jack Kesy as Chopra’s bodyguards, Rob Heubel as the boss, along with Hannibal Buress, Oscar Nuñez, David Hasselhoff, and Pamela Anderson.

The sexiest shot in the film.

Goddamnit, Baywatch. You could have been something special, but all of the worst components were overplayed, and they didn’t try to make it better.

First of all, the humor, sure jokes were made, but it wasn’t a laugh a minute riot fest like I had hoped (again, comparing to 21 Jump Street). They decided to feature a lot more action and serious moments that weren’t really impressive, nor did they really bring the viewer in on any emotional level.

Secondly, there are only six~ characters in the Baywatch team they decide to highlight, 3 guys, 3 gals. And guess who gets all of the plot, character development, and good scenes? Yep, the guys only. Hadera as “second-in-command” has absolutely nothing memorable happen, she is basically a background character. Daddario is brought in to have someone else famous hang out with Efron and Johnson, but she is the third wheel. And Parker exists only to be a sexualized object to Bass’ character, an ideal woman in her looks and kindness. And yes, they hook up by the end.

Yes, when people think of Baywatch, they think of slow motion women running and bouncing, sure. But that show also had a lot of woman characters with a lot of backgrounds and plots. This movie somehow decided to be WORSE for women than the 11 seasons of a show for people to get their jollies off. That is unacceptable for a modern remake. It is not hard to give six people real characterization throughout a film, but they didn’t even try.

Those are the main two points of contention. If the film was at least funnier on many levels then I might have been able to get around the weaker characters. But because it isn’t that funny, the problems stand out a lot more. The plot was also weak, the “bad guy plot” felt pointless, and everything was just so obvious.

Apparently this movie is bombing, so we won’t a Baywatch 2. But if it does, it should go the Baywatch Nights route, just get it over with.

Reviewing films when they come out on DVD isn’t bad, it is expected for at least a third of all releases!

But like usual, the movie I am reviewing way later is a comedy. Keanu. Why did I not see it in theaters? I dunno, probably just lazy at that point. I also have never watched the sketch show Key and Peele, just random scenes on YouTube, so I wasn’t interested in some strange cat movie sketch.

I also didn’t even know if the cat talked. I think it does. Or did I get it confused with Nine Lives? Also, maybe both are talking cats? This one with Keanu Reeves as the voice, right?

Yeah, he has those rascally Reeves eyes, that’s for sure.

Clarence Goobril (Keegan-Michael Key) and Rell Williams (Jordan Peele) are two boring, regular, dudes. Clarence is married, wife (Nia Long) and kids, drives a minivan. Rell is heartbroken, because he was just dumped. But then he finds a kitten. Not just any kitten, the cutest kitten in the world.

Now, later, Rell is back to work, inspired, and Clarence is about to have some days to himself. Tim for some bro time! That means watching a movie! However, when they get back home, Rell’s house was broken into, smashed up, and Keanu the kitten was stolen! They find out from the local drug dealer (Will Forte) that it was most likely Chedder (Method Man) and his gang, looking for his house. Shit.

So it is simple. They have to get the cat back, and they have to infiltrate his club. They just have pretend to be thugs, pretend to be tough and just try and buy the kitten back. That way no one gets hurt, especially them. But then they get confused with some real badass people from Allentown and have to instead help the crew sell some drugs to earn the kitten. Can’t be too hard, non educated people do it all the time!

Starring Tiffany Haddish, Darrel Britt-Gibson, Jason Mitchell, Jamar Malachi Neighbors, Luis Guzman, Rob Huebel, and Anna Faris.

Running and shooting at the same time in plaid is the first skill a gangster learns.

I honestly didn’t care about Keanu when it came out. And yes, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Peele and Key do awkward right. They wear that uncomfortable atmosphere on their face and run with it. This is full of overacting on their parts, but it also fits their characters just trying not to die, while also believing themselves to be larger than life individuals.

The movie opened up slow, but once they were in the club it really hit its stride. The voices, the backstory, the names, all gold. The obsession with George Michael and his songs filling the soundtrack were a comedic plus. Back flips, gun shots, celebrity deaths and more. I was just surprised all around.

I also wasn’t a giant fan of the ending. After everything had finished, it petered off a bit too long and the twists weren’t worth it. But Keanu is still full of laughs and a really decent time waster. I might watch even more random clips on YouTube, right now.

I have decided to have a theme week. Are you ready? Apocalypse Week. End of the world shit. You know. It seemed appropriate with the new movies coming out this week. In case you are curious in the future which movies are part of the week, I have tagged them all as Apocalypse Week as well as their normal tags.

This mostly came about because I finally had access to Rapture-Palooza and watched it a few days after seeing This Is The End. Similar theme? Heck yeah. It was pretty easy to find a few more to shoe-in too.

I’d like to get my shoe into Anna. Or something perverted/sexy. I am bad at this.

As already stated, this movie begins with the apocalypse! Yay! Lindsey (Anna Kendrick) and her boyfriend Ben (John Francis Daley, who you may remember from Freaks and Geeks) didn’t believe in any god figure, so they were left behind, along with most of their family. Well, their moms were set. Kind of. But that is it. So now they have to try to live life as if there was no fire and brimstone, because what else are they going to do?

Anyways, life is very different. We have wraiths running around to cause trouble, their neighbor (Thomas Lennon) came back as a zombie, but for whatever reason just wants to mow his line. There are meteors that fall from the sky, usually to ruin their day.

Hell, Ben’s dad (Rob Corddry) sold his soul to the devil. Satan, or as he likes to call himself The Beast (Craig Robinson) has taken up residence in Seattle, and is out to party. Rapture is basically over, hell on Earth has happened, and people are just trying to get by.

But then he spies poor little old Lindsey, and he wants her. He wants her hard. Not just because she is a virgin either. So he asks her out, knowing that if she says no, he will kill everyone she has ever loved. Well damn. Guess she has to go out with him. Not without working on a plan to kill/trap him for a thousand years first though!

Rob Heubel plays a security guard, and Ken Jeong plays…eh. I don’t want to tell you.

Basically every time they are together, you can hear Craig Robinson say graphic things to Anna Kendrick. Worth the admission price? Probably.

Craig Robinson may have saved this movie from being a total dud. Yes, it felt like he was just playing a very arrogant and cocky version of himself, but he really bombarded Anna Kendrick with some vile stuff, and she took it all like a champ.

Anna also served as our narrator and I found her voice and attitude great for the role, giving zero fucks about the world falling apart around her. I also enjoyed a few of the gags, including pot head Wraiths, and the part near the end with Ken Jeong…even if it made very little sense.

However, it wasn’t an amazing movie on its own. It is okay, decent, not horrible, just not amazing. I understand why it never hit theaters, it is just plain weird. Yes, I do like weird, but this is a different type of weird I’d say. Quirky maybe. It could have been a lot better, and shit, might have worked best as a TV show. I could see the whole movie being an entire season, not like 22 episodes, but a solid 10-12. Introducing new problems, and just kind of nonchalantly dealing with them and giving not a fuck in the world.

Babies, babies, so many babies. Well not as many babies (or as intense) as the movie Babies, but there is still quite a few in What To Expect When You’re Expecting.

Also, as you’d expect, there is a lot of talk about genitalia, so if you hate the word vagina, or the many different versions of that word possible, you might be uncomfortable in this film. But you don’t have to see any. Not like in Babies.

“Now I want y’all to repeat after me: penis, penis, penis; vagina, vagina, vagina!”

Given the large nature of this comedy, and the fact that it is about 5~ different couples/storylines that are loosely connected going through pregnancy related stories, this is another review where I just have to show off the different characters. Yay ‘easy’ to type plot lines.

Jules (Cameron Diaz) is a fitness instructor for a Biggest Loser like show, and on a Dancing With The Stars like show, with professional dancer Evan (Matthew Morrison). They have a few month fling, and whoops pregnant. So they have to try their hand at a relationship, that is scrutinized in the tabloids/media, while they fight over every baby thing, but mostly just circumcision.

Holly (Jennifer Lopez) can’t actually have a baby and wants to adopt. But her husband Alex (Rodrigo Santoro) seems to be having a problem getting into the adoption process fully. They also have to deal with monetary issues, and looking for a new house, while Alex is forced to join a Dad Squad. A group of new~ dad’s (Chris Rock, Rob Huebel, Amir Talai, Thomas Lennon) who go on long walks with their kids, talk about problems, support each other, don’t judge, and also weirdly idolize a local athlete (Joe Manganiello).

Rosie (Anna Kendrick) runs a cheese based food truck with her friends, competing with the other local food trucks, including a pork based food truck ran by Marco (Chase Crawford). They almost had a fling in high school, but bad things happened and they never hit it off. But once the heat of the competition happens, they find themselves in a one night sexy time, which of course, leads to pregnancy. Now they have to try to figure out what to do, when they aren’t even in a real relationship.

Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) runs a strange mother shop, full of pregnancy items and books and accessories, and has been trying for two years to get pregnant with her husband Gary (Ben Falcone). Once it finally occurs, she is so happy, yet she seems to get none of the benefits of pregnancy, only the negative side effects. Where is her glow damn it? She also has an assistant to help run her shop, Janice (Rebel Wilson) who has no idea about anything.

But unfortunately for them, Gary’s dad is a big hot shot race car driver. Or else he used to be. Now Ramsey (Dennis Quaid) lives in a mansion, and has everything going right for him (minus his relationship with his son). He even has a younger (than his son) wife, Skyler (Brooklyn Decker). And after one try, boom pregnant as well. And twins! She also has the perfect pregnancy, no problems at all, keeps her amazing looks, and no worries.

So pretty much everything that could deal with pregnancy at all, involving adoption, fertilization, marriage problems, weight gain, miscarriages, c-sections, drugs, PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING EVER, that could deal with the babies. You know, so you can expect it all.

The female Jonah Hill was in this movie. Almost everything said is quotable.

So yeah, pregnancy, am I right?

True story, I laughed in this film, and maybe even cried. Some stuff was touching, and I almost was going to be pissed at the ending (but thankfully the event in question didn’t happen).

Really this movie is like four movies in one, all with the topic of starting a family. Some of these movies would be great on their own too, such as the Kendrick/Chase plot line. Loved it. I think the Banks/Falcone + Quaid storyline would make on its own a decent movie as well, but it is kind of the main plot line in this movie so not as necessary. Diaz/Morrison? That one was pretty weak. Lopez/Santoro would have probably just been a lame comedy, in the vein of Grown Ups or Daddy Day Care.

But man, was Rebel Wilson pretty funny. Most of the time. Good for her. Anna Kendrick also kicked ass, and not just because of my mini-crush on her. Glad she is out of the Twilight films now, so she can do more roles, instead of 5s of footage in those films.