Tag: Parker Posey

Columbus makes me think of a few things off the bat, and none of them end up being true about this film. Not even Ohio, thankfully.

The only reason it is on my radar is it got nominated for a good number of Spirit awards and yes, that list is already out so get ready for a wave of these reviews. It had nominations for Best First Feature, Best First Screenplay, and Cinematography. It is going up against some big competition in Cinematography, but there is always a chance for the “first” awards. Those categories are very nice, because it puts all newbies against each other, not against some big shot indie director who has been here already for 10 years in a row.

But in further looking at the film, I enjoy the actors generally, so that is a plus. And if it is nominated for cinematography, you know there is a good chance it is pretty to look at it. That is another plus.

Wow, Columbus, we are starting off with two plusses before I really even get to know you.

This first picture looks like an advertisement for the local cult.

Columbus is a story about two people at very different stages of their lives, meeting and learning from one another. And it takes place in Columbus, Indiana! Not Ohio!

Jin (John Cho) is a Korean American who is in Columbus because his father is in the hospital. He hasn’t had the best relationship with his dad and had moved away a long time ago. His dad is a pretty famous architect and Jin, well, doesn’t care about architect for that reason. He has a job translating Korean texts into English, he lives alone, and right now, he lives alone in an apartment, hanging out occasionally with an old friend Eleanor (Parker Posey).

Casey (Haley Lu Richardson) is recently out of high school. And by recently, I mean a whole year earlier, but here she is, still hanging out in her town and not going to college. Casey is a smart girl by anyone’s standards, and everyone tells her this. She just has other things on her mind. Namely her mother, who happens to be a recovering addict, who is very close to relapsing time and time again. Her mom works as an overnight custodian, which keeps Casey up at weird hours, worried about her mom. But she did recently get a basic job a book store with a new friend, Gabriel (Rory Culkin). And she loves architecture, of course, because she grew up in Columbus, Indiana, which strangely has a lot of cool buildings in it or near it.

One day, Jin and Casey meet on a chance encounter. And they will begin to talk, and talk a lot, about everything, nothing, and of course, architecture.

Also starring Erin Allegretti.

“Shit is this whole movie just two people looking at buildings?” Well…

Columbus is only about 100 minutes long, but it certainly feels a lot longer than that. It drags on because nothing “showy” or ground shattering ever occurs. There are no big plot twists/reveals, no sudden changes in heart. Everything is organic, slow, and I guess developmentally sound. We have two stories, both with their own pretty much set in stone conclusions. We just have to get there for those two characters, and see how they decide their paths.

And how do we do that? Through dialogue. Having conversations about buildings and then about life. There is some awkward moments where you wonder if these two are going to develop an actual relationship or not, because of course. That seems to be the natural process of human beings, or at least those that appear in TV and film.

The dialogue is great in this movie. Cho and Richardson are also really good in their roles. It is definitely wonderful to look at, in sometimes quite subtle ways. It is just a film that is really hard to get into. It feels like it drags on, it is boring, and not something I would just ever recommend to anyone.

I bet Josh Radnor loves this movie though.

I love me some Mockumentaries. I do, I really do. Yeah, sure, most of the ones I have seen in my life were made by Christopher Guest. This Is Spinal Tap! (Technically Rob Reiner, whatever) and A Mighty Wind are my jams. But thankfully we did get Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping this year to continue the trend a bit further.

So I was excited about Mascots. And no, I didn’t know it was another film directed by Christopher Guest until about twenty minutes in, when the same cast of characters in a lot of his films appeared. It had the same style, same type of humor.

Let’s be clear, this is his first Mockumentary in a decade! Big news, because someone has to make them, damn it.

And why not explore Mascots hoping they did not break their funny bone.

Mascots are a big deal. They get the party started, they get people excited about sports and performances, and they can have zany costumes.

And in this documentary, it is showcasing several totally real mascots as they prepare for the World Mascot Association to try and win the Golden Fluffy award for the best mascot. Now a lot of random mascots enter and send in tapes to be chosen to compete, but only the best and maybe the vaguest can really win.

Of course we have a very eccentric and weird cast. There is Zook (Chris O’Dowd), who plays The Fist, a hockey mascot in Canada, known for getting into fights, and yes, he is a giant fist. Owen Golly Jr. (Tom Bennett) comes from a long line of mascots, playing a squirrel I believe. His dad (Jim Paddock) is still coaching him and his wife (Kerry Godliman) just hopes he doesn’t die.

Cindi Babineaux (Parker Posey) is this absurd horse girl thing. Phil Mayhew
(Christopher Moynihan) is a Plumber mascot, and has a big routine with a toilet and a turd. Mike (Zach Woods) and Mindy Murray (Sarah Baker) are a couple act, but also going through a divorce thanks to infidelity, but still hoping to work together for the competition.

And we got more people for a variety of reasons, Jane Lynch, Ed Begley Jr., Susan Yeagley, John Michael Higgins, and Michael Hitchcock.

And I didn’t even get into the Amish and the Worm pair.

Mascots ends up being very similar to Christopher Guest’s other mockumentaries. The people are weird, but realistic, and the humor comes from relatively normal interactions. And surprisingly outside of a few moments, I found myself rather bored.

I haven’t seen a lot his previous work. I never fully watched Best In Show, but I want to. I didn’t even know he had about two others. So why would I absolutely love A Mighty Wind and not this one?

Well, shit. It might actually be the music factor. I love quirky people and musicals, so it is a perfect storm for me. This one has quirky people without all of the payoff I was hoping for. Some people seemed to exist just for one joke or one long set up and until it happened, I was just waiting.

The mascot performances were all pretty good I guess, but not enough to warrant rewatching in the future. People are weird, situations are zany, but it is all too few and far in between for me.

The reason I saw this movie is basically an accident. You see, I went in to rent The Oranges the other night, and well, all 2 copies were out. What?! So, P section is next to O, this is still labeled as new release, only planned to be in there for 30 seconds, so grabbed Price Check and went on home.

Yeah, blind watch!

Maybe we will get some good old fashioned gender violence.

Pete Cozy (Eric Mabius) is satiated with his job and station in life. He works as some sort of business guy in some sort of sueprmarket chain. What does he do? Hard to say. Let’s just say he is a low level businessman, making about $40,000 a year, and fine with it. He has a wife (Annie Parisse) and a child, but they have many bills to pay. But at least he gets to spend time with his family.

When his boss leaves, another is flown in to take his place. Hiring within the company is stupid. But Susan Felders (Parker Posey) is a little bit strange. To be fair, she is in a new situation and wants to have a good impression, and be successful, but it puts everyone off and no one gives her a chance. Pete is reluctant, because the first thing she does is fire someone, and not the person he recommended, while also doubling his salary and making him her assistant. Awesome.

But with more money comes more responsibilities, and Susan might have made promises that their small team office can’t jut handle. He just wants to make enough to live and hang out with his family. He definitely doesn’t want to accidentally have an affair. Whoops. Oh yeah, that happens too.

This boardroom meeting is weird. Who gave them a table?

It was hard to get through the plot outline, it truly was. I might have had to take a nap during it. Instead I ran a lab around my lab. Overall, watching the movie was good for my physical health, just not my mental health.

About twenty minutes in or so, I just didn’t care anymore. Despite being a comedy, nothing entertaining happens nor makes me laugh. Like zero. Maybe they were going for awkward humor? Hard to tell. If so, they did badly at it.

Like, I didn’t hate hate it. I was just bored. Parker Posey isn’t the most likeable of actresses, but she was especially off the annoying charts in this one. Almost worse than Zach Galifianakis in Due Date, which is saying something.

Now I am just rambling. Don’t watch it. But every movie on the previews for it looked decent.

Seriously guys. Nothing good will come out of watching this action movie. Inside Out is even a vague title, not having really anything to add to the movie. Maybe some bullshit about “Oh how my life has turned Inside Out after I got out of prison!” This movie just screams out fantasticles though. Starring Triple H and Michael Rapaport. Yes. The Wrestler. And yes, that guy who has only been in like My Name Is Earl, and Boston Public. How can it fail?? Not to mention the wife being played by Parker Posey, aka cutter chick on The Big C, or Fiona from Josie and the Pussycats. Yes, blockbuster indeed.

Block. Buster. In. Deed.

HHH was in prison for the last fourteen years for accidental manslaughter. His friend, Rapapapapapa, tries to get him back on the right track, and lets him stay at his house. Oh yeah, and his old girlfriend before prison is now married to Rapapa, and they have a kid. And uh. Awkward? So, more accidents happen, and a dead body occurs. Also, the police, for some tax evasion stuff.

TRIPLE H DOESN’T WANT TO BE IN THIS MESS. So some more people die, and more people arrested. This movie also had a weird pickle theme. And I have no idea why the movie didn’t end after the sex scene. But it just kept going. You know, so stuff could blow up I guess. All good action movies need things blowing up.

Unfortunately, this isnt a good action movie.

But Triple H dressing up like Samuel L Jackson might have helped.