Tag: Martin Starr

There’s Something in the Barn was watched as part of Fantastic Fest 2023!

Bill (Martin Starr) is taking his family to Norway! You see, his Uncle owned a cabin and land out there, but he passed away, and Bill was left the property. So why not upend his whole life to a new place to start over.

You see, Bill’s original wife died in the past. So he had gotten a new wife, Carol (Amrita Acharia), but he had two kids before that, Nora (Zoe Winther-Hansen) and Lucas (Townes Bunner). His new wife, the kids don’t really full accept as a replacement mom, but she is trying. She is into self help seminar speaking. Bill is excited to open up a bed and breakfast place with their new land.

However, and forgive me as I say this, but there appears to be something in the barn. Only Lucas sees it at first, so of course no one believes him. But a local tells him about the Barn Elves that supposedly live in the land, and how they are different than those silly American lawn gnomes. They have rules, they hate noise, they hate bright lights, and will leave you alone if you leave them alone.

So no one cares, there are parties, and sure enough, the elf gets pissed. Time to get revenge with a bunch of his elf friends. Just like they did to the last owner.

Also starring Calle Hellevang Larsen, Jeppe Beck Laursen, and Henriette Steenstrup. And of course some elves were played by actors like Kiran Shah, Paul Monaghan, and Alexander Karlsen El Younoussi.

“I’m not even sure how the debt collectors found my new place in Norway!”

Christmas horror comedy flicks. Is this genre on the rise or what?

Now, I like the idea of a good multi-genre film. For example, we didn’t really have a lot of Christmas horror comedies, besides like, Gremlins sort of. Then eventually we got a Krampus and it became a big hit. And last year we had Violent Night.

I would put There’s Something in the Barn solely between those two movies. Better than Krampus (which was just okay for me), and not as fun as Violent Night. It IS a fun movie in its own right though. There are creative deaths, and a lot of silly moments. I mean, these elves are so dumb looking, it is hard to not find it humorous. But Starr is no David Harbour, when it comes to the physicality and outrageousness of his Santa.

Of course of course, this is not the point of Starr’s character. He is playing the classic screw up father, who is trying to make everything nice, when nothing is. In fact, this might be the first time he has ever played a dad on screen? He was a nerd on Freaks and Geeks and has been sarcastic asshole for so long, its weird that we are getting to that stage in his career.  Am I old now? (yes)

But back to the film. This film is 100% going to join the rotation of others of the similar genre. If you like comedy horrors at Christmas, you will like this one as well. I think it offers something new and interesting, including a bit of a rewatchability factor.

3 out of 4.

Ready for that new movie, Spider-Man: All the Hype in the World?

Oh, it is called No Way Home. Fine, that is fine. It could have also just been called “Print Money for us Please” because a lot of people are going to see this movie and they are going to see it fast. This is arguably the most excited people have been for a movie since Avengers: Endgame. After all, in our last Spider-Man movie, we were given a very strong credits scene. [Note: I hated that this was a credit scene. That scene was really important for the film. It made the ending really work. The fact that it was “credits” scene and arguably less important really bugs me]. It helped build up the hype.

I personally am hoping that this movie does…something to help establish what the actual fuck Marvel (even if Sony is helming this film like always) is doing with their time. If I see one more “Present Day” tag line in the MCU this year I will lose it. No one has any clue when any of these movies are taking place, because they all are in the future based on the Thanos Snap.

Is this one in 2024? 2025? Who knows. Will the movie know? Doubtfully.

Is she enjoying this ride? Spider-Man: No Way Home takes place basically right after the end of Long Way Home. Mysterio’s last trick. Telling everyone Peter Parker’s (Tom Holland) identity and blaming the bad stuff on Parker.

Now everyone knows! Now everyone knows about his friends and his girlfriend (Zendaya) and that causes issues. Some still love him, some now hate him. Some just want to make his life miserable. Hell, it is even affecting his ability to get into college. Because they know his name, and they aren’t sure if they want that publicity or trouble. Is he a MURDERER?

Needless to say, Peter feels like shit about this. And he hates it more that it is affecting those who love him and he loves in returns. So he wants things to change. Maybe time travel? Maybe people can just forget the whole thing happened? Maybe magic can be involved?

Well, once magic gets involved, and potentially unstable magic at that, it seems like the reality Peter knows is not going to be the same forever. Time to face old villains for the first time.

Also starring some other people you know from these movies. Tony Revolori, Jacob Batalon, Angourie Rice, Jon Favreau, Marisa Tomei, Martin Starr, J.B. Smoove, J.K. Simmons, Benedict Wong, and Hannibal Buress. Also (checks trailers to see what is and isn’t a spoiler) Alfred Molina, Willem Dafoe, Thomas Haden Church, Rhys Ifans, and Jamie Foxx!

Anyone else? Maybe! Maybe we also get other villains played by Paul Giamatti, Dane DeHaan/James Franco, or Topher Grace? Maybe we get villains in the last two movies showing up, like Michael Keaton and Jake Gyllenhaal. Will we have past Spider-Men like Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire? Will DONALD GLOVER appear as old Miles Morales?

This isn’t a spoiler, this is the main advertisement! 

Spider-Man: Oops! All Villains! edition. Frankly, I wondered if this would feel crowded. Crowded is what they were going for after all. And arguably, crowded villains helped kill the last two Spider-Man franchises. “But no! This time we will do it better!” And how is that? By giving us previously established villains so we don’t need an eight hour movie. Sure, it requires a five film commitment, but they figure if you are watching these new ones, you probably already committed to the over 20 that is the MCU at this point.  So why not five more, assuming you didn’t already have them?

It works though. For those without the previous films, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I can’t get myself in that headspace. It is a risky move, and a ridiculous move, but damn it, trying new stuff is one of the reasons I watch movies. To see those that make risks, and this film is so risky. I don’t care what the past has told us, MCU printing their name on it doesn’t always guarantee success. Having a likable cast can help a lot.

This is the most emotional we have seen Holland as our web crawler before, and that includes the time when he didn’t feel so good in outer space. From the villains, Molina brings the same despair and anger he had before. Foxx felt better and more confident than the shit they gave him in his original. Ifans/Church were very underutilized, in more ways than one. I just assume the actors couldn’t really be involved that much with the film.

But Dafoe? Holy shit Dafoe. He has had like, twenty years to forget how to be the Green Goblin, and I was honestly worried about him the most. I know he is a fantastic actor, but even early on into his scenes in this one, I was skeptical, but that dude NAILED IT so hard. That is some real good review writing right there. What an absolute madlad he is. Why did they kill him off in that first film? So sad.

Honestly, people will get mad at me if I say much more. So in order to keep things vague and mysterious, I will. Let’s just say, I cried once, and it is not likely a moment you would fully expect. There is obviously an early credits scene, and an end credits scene. Feel free to leave early after the first one, in my opinion. The post credits scene is trash.

4 out of 4.

First, Jake Gyllenhaal was announced to be Mysterio. Then they said it was only a rumor. Then they confirmed Gyllenhaal for Mysterio! Could it be? One of my favorite young-ish actors playing my favorite Spider-Man villain? Is this the best time line?

Well, real life tells me no, this is not. But Spider-Man: Far From Home is the end of Phase 3 of the MCU after the very big Avengers: Endgame. It knows it can’t be as big as that last movie, so it needs to something unique to close out the phase, to bring some aftermath closure.

But lets talk more about Gyllenhaal. First of all, this is not his first time playing a superhero! A lot of you have forgotten, but after Vincent Chase starred in the mega-hit Aquaman in the 2000’s, he decided to go against his contract and not film the sequel Gyllenhaal stepped in  and it was okay. But a lot of people don’t do good in their first superhero role. Just ask Ryan Reynolds!

Oh my god, he is so dreamy.

Events after Endgame are wrecking with everyone’s lives. Some people grew for five years, others are in a changed world. A few of our heroes are now gone forever (really though?) and others need to step up. And Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is now still in high school. Can he be that hero? Can he be the new Iron Man?

Eh, life is hard, and the world is safe for now. So let’s go on vacation. It’s summer. He needs to grieve, he needs to be a kid, he needs to put Spider-Man for awhile. He wants to woo MJ (Zendaya) off of her feet in Paris. Paris?! Yeah, a school trip to visit science places in Europe, with his best friends and frenemies. Good, no villains in Italy.

What’s that? Weird large elementals, destroying parts of Europe? Apparently they came from some other dimension. Maybe some time warp after all the infinity nonsense? All we know is that Quentin Beck (Jake Gyllenhaal) has fought these elementals before, seems to be able to defeat them, and came from an Earth that killed his entire planet. Sad times. Maybe he can be our new Iron Man?

Also starring Angourie Rice, Jon Favreau, Samuel L. Jackson, Cobie Smulders, Marisa Tomei, Martin Starr, J.B. Smoove, Tony Revolori, and of course, Jacob Batalon.

Who was this movie about? Mysteriooooooooo.

Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. What cha gonna do? What cha gonna do when they rely on you?

Far From Home does not pull as close to as many punches as Endgame, and not even on an emotional level. I didn’t cry. It was a relatively safe movie, very local, and on its own doesn’t fully feel like a closure to Phase 3. It does help explain some of the post-snap snafu and that is nice. It moves Peter’s story on and that is nice.

What it does well is when it goes really full Mysterio. This master illusionist going off on illusions was really cool. That is something comics and cartoons can do with ease, but in a movie? Well, it worked well. I wish we got to see Bruce Campbell do it in the 2000’s, but that is okay. Gyllenhaal was great in what he needed to do, but it is not his best acting either.

Now I have a big gripe with the mid credits scene. No spoilers. It is probably the best mid or post credit scene in this films history. It is amazing. And it is important. It really should have ended the main film pre-credits and not be seen as an extra. I know all of the credit scenes count as the film, but for purists, really, give me that moment before the credits role. Let the closure be real. Don’t make it extra.

Spider-Man: Far From Home will do well, and honestly, probably should have come out a little bit later. People are still riding a post Endgame high. Their endorphins have not been superhero reset, and overall it is a decent superhero movie without reaching the better heights.

Sorry Gyllenhaal. Please do more hero work.

3 out of 4.

Sometimes you just stumble across a film and you are not sure how you found it. Maybe it was in the depths of Netflix. Maybe it was clicking the wrong button on a Redbox. Maybe it was a strange comment on an internet forum that made you just discover something odd about the world.

Or maybe you are just trolling through Nick Offerman´s IMDB page and see something called Infinity Baby and go “Ohhhhh, that sounds weird!” and just go and grab it to watch it without even wondering what it is about.

Who really can say though? When the whole thing is a mystery?

Oh yeah, the film is in black and white.

In this world, due to stem cell research something strange occurred. A miracle, maybe, but definitely something that no one intended. Certain babies were given a condition, a curse maybe. They would not age. They would stay in that infant, cry, poop, eat, sleep phase forever. Forever. So yes, similar to the plot point from The Boss Baby.

Why would they do this? Well it was an accident. And the government has determined to get these babies into homes. Other technologies have been developed, like special food pills for the babies. Things that put them to sleep most of the time, but still living entities. The amount of sleep and type of food they get means they only need a diaper change about once a week. The company Infinity Baby was set up to find these babies homes. I am unsure of if it is for life for them, or what, but an adult would get a large sum in the ten thousands to have them for three months. After three months, I dont know if they get more money or what.

Maybe those people who feel extra pampering would want this responsibility to be helpful. Who knows.

But Neo (Nick Offerman) is in charge of the organization. Ben (Kieran Culkin) is more of a hands on, day to day in charge of the operation, finding potential clients to take their babies. He has his own intimacy issues, and every time he feels his partner becomes too attached, he will take them to his mom´s house (Megan Mullally) and she will disapprove of them so that he can dump them.

And Malcolm (Martin Starr) and Larry (Kevin Corrigan) are two men on the ground, who actually have to go and deliver the babies to the clients. Their issue is a client has changed their mind last minute, so they decide to just adopt the baby together for that sweet cash.

Also starring Trieste Kelly Dunn, Stephen Root, and Noël Wells.

Would it be a big troll to say a movie is black and white, but really just one scene is, and you took the images from the same scene to trick people?

I hated Infinity Baby way more than I imagined. It is just a small indie movie with a lot of recognizable people, but the plot doesn’t go a lot of places and it presents an unnerving concept.

As a father, the idea of baby never getting past that infant early born stage is pretty damn sickening. I didn’t think that before I watched the movie, but during it. It makes me so sad and upset to even acknowledge that idea. Especially when I found out in this movie they use pills to make them mostly asleep and their lives basically meaningless. This sounds like a horrible fate to anyone.

Sure, some of the aspects are dealt with in the film. But half of the film is about Culkin’s characters inability to get a relationship. And I don’t know why that is attached to this film at all, besides a lazy parable about how other people can’t grow up either.

Maybe it was the black and white, maybe it was the plot that didn’t go many different places, or maybe, maybe, it is just the whole sadness for the babies things. But I would never want to see this movie again, nor would I really know a group who might enjoy it.

0 out of 4.

Third times the charm?

Well, that is a weird phrase to apply to this situation. But it is one I have heard quite a lot.

After all, this is our third Spider-Man actor in 18 years. The problem with that phrase is that it implies the other times were not charming. But damn it, most people still talk highly about Spider-Man 1 and Spider-Man 2, especially the sequel. Just because the third one was a dud doesn’t taint the whole.

And for The Amazing Spider-Man? Shit, I liked the first one, and the sequel was disappointing, but Andrew Garfield was still pretty good as a Spider-Man.

People have just really wanted Spider-Man to go back under some amount of control to Marvel, so that we can see him interact with other heroes. Which is fair. But I want Spider-Man: Homecoming to be just a great movie on its own right, not flashy with in universe references.

I also hope this Spider-Man can just hold everything together.

This film begins with the events of Captain America: Civil War, from Peter Parker’s (Tom Holland) perspective. To see how he got to Europe, his sweet suit, and his life afterwards. His life is to be put on hold, waiting for a new “assignment” from Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), with Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) as his go to man to report any issues or problems.

And this keeps Peter busy. He patrols the streets of Queens in the afternoon/evenings after school, under the guise of a Stark Internship, so that his Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) doesn’t get too concerned. This does put a strain on his social life however. He cancels most of his extracurricular activites, hangs out with his best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) less, and he is even about to miss parts of the Academic Decathlon! Besides being smart and enjoying it, it annoys him more because it is run by Liz (Laura Harrier). But don’t worry, Flash Thompson (Tony Revolori) still picks on him.

Speaking of busy, eventually he runs into some thugs who are selling alien technology weapons they made! Turns out when NYC was fucked over by aliens those 8 years ago, a lot of alien tech was lying about the city. Adrian Toomes (Michael Keaton) was in the salvage business, but Tony Stark in an effort to help the city made his own special Damage Control division that won a government contract to clean up any superhero mess. This puts Toomes out of business and enraged about the rich getting richer. So he decides to keep some of the tech, and with his small band of workers and tinkerer friend Phineas Mason (Michael Chernus), they decide to take salvage and turn it into cash in the form of new, high tech weapons. Hooray for capitalism!

Spider-Man cannot let this happen on his streets, as innocents will get hurt, and apparently this is not a problem that the avengers have to worry about. Oh well, I am sure he can handle some thugs and alien weapon technology and gear no sweat!

Also, unsurprisingly, starring a whole lot of other people! We got a whole lot of classmates (Zendaya, Abraham Attah, Angourie Rice, Tiffany Espensen, Michael Barbieri, Jorge Lendeborg Jr.), Thugs (Bokeem Woodbine, Logan Marshall-Green, Michael Mando), and others (Donald Glover, Kenneth Choi, Hannibal Buress, Martin Starr, Jennifer Connelly).

If you think that list is big, wait til you see Keaton’s personal trainer list!

There are a lot of praises I could sing for Spider-Man, and a lot of them come from story and plot decisions. It isn’t an origin story, because he already exists and we already know it. It does not mean that we don’t get Spider-Man doing things for the first time.

For instance, his first real villain in The Vulture, outside of just petty criminal stuff. We find out that he is not the wall crawler swinging through Manhattan like previous films, but mostly in the much smaller building complexes of Queens. So we have his first time at extreme heights, and we get to see how he handles fighting crime in a suburb, without the ability to swing around with ease.

Speaking of villains, they knocked it out of the park with The Vulture. We get a backstory for Toomes, reasons for his life of crime, reasons for why he feels he is in the right, morally gray shit, we got it all. They gave us what we have been wanting, and it is an excellent villain.

Holland is still good as Spider-Man, but we already knew that from Civil War. The large swaths of side characters fill their niches and no one really feels wasted.

And finally this Spider-Man tries to be very different from the previous iterations. No Gwen Stacy or MJ right away to get you all romantically fluttered, we get LIZ. We get a diverse looking school. We get nerds and a neighborhood that feels like a goddamn neighborhood. And a lot of the characters are new just for this film, with plans to take this film in its own direction, regardless of comics. I give it props.

But strangely enough, I barely laughed in the film. I did a few times, but I was alone. The movie theater was silent, it was no where close to being as wise cracking as I’d imagine a Spider-Man movie to be. I also think it relied too heavily on Iron Man/Happy characters to make sure everyone knew it was fitting in.

And Spider-Man’s suit? Well, it was a bit annoying. Turns out it is super high tech, and most of the known Spider-Man powers aren’t actually his, but suit based. Like Spider-Senses. I am not sure what powers he actually got. Some super strength and acrobatics skills, with some sticking to walls?

It is a decent film, just again, not as great as I had hoped it would be.

3 out of 4.

Alright everyone. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

This is the moment a lot of you may have been waiting for. Veronica Mars has finally been given a movie.

For those who weren’t blessed with experiencing one of the better TV shows of the mid-2000’s, Veronica Mars ran for three seasons before getting canceled. It was one of those shows that was critically acclaimed, but suffered with ratings. It also didn’t help that the third season was a lot different from the first two (college), with several minor arcs instead of a big one. It also unfortunately ended on an awkward unfinished cliff hanger. Not as awkward as the series finale of My Name Is Earl, but awkward nonetheless.

But that isn’t the only crazy thing about this movie! No, it was funded by Kickstarter. Warner Bros. wouldn’t green light the film, so the cast raised money. They wanted $2 million to make the movie. In ten hours, the $2 million was raised, a record for the website. In the month time frame over $5 million ended up being donated. Needless to say, there was a lot of hype around it. Because of the Kickstarter, not only was the film released theatrically, it was also released same day Video on Demand, and the movie being sent out to all who backed it at the same time. Wow.

I will admit some bias. As a fanboy of the TV show (and as a Season 3 apologist), there is a good chance I like this no matter what.

Total nostalgia overload aAAAAGGHHH11!!~

Guess what! It is time for Neptune, California’s favorite high school class to have their ten year reunion. Turns out after the third season of the show, Veronica (Kristen Bell) switched out of town to Stanford. Yeah. She got real far away. She went to law school and now she is about to get a high paying fancy lawyer job at NYC. But just when she thought she was out, they pulled her back in.

That’s right, Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring) is being charged with murder. He was dating another former Nuptunian, don’t worry about her, she had two episodes in the series. She eventually became a pretty famous pop star, and now she was found electrocuted in her own bath tub. Logan says he is innocent and for whatever reason, Veronica believes him.

So she is back in town. Her dad (Enrico Colantoni), still a P.I., the police force still inept, and her friends Mac (Tina Majorino) and Wallace (Percy Daggs III) are still by her side. Will this be her final case, something she swore she would never do again?

It also features more returning cast members than you can shake a stick at.

Piz (Chris Lowell), Dick (Ryan Hansen), Gia (Krysten Ritter), Weevil (Francis Capra), Leo D’Amato (Max Greenfield), Deputy Sacks (Brandon Hillock), and Vinnie Van Lowe (Ken Marino).

Also featuring some new faces, played by Martin Starr, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jerry O’Connell and Gaby Hoffmann.

Yay, BFFs, still after 8 years of not really talking. They too must be raging on nostalgia.

Going into this movie (despite my fanboyism) I was still a bit skeptical. I am used to the plot taking 22 episodes to solve, not one in less than two hours. I thought the plot might feel rushed/forced and I wouldn’t get enough cool clues along the way.

Well, after seeing it, I think the story really does work. It has twists and turns, there are multiple plots, and they did a few things I definitely would never have seen coming.

At the same time, this film might actually be accessible to those who haven’t seen the TV show. I wouldn’t suggest seeing the movie first still, because the show is phenomenal (What are you doing? Go watch it now!) but everything you need to know gets explained in the plot. You won’t get every character reference or throwback joke, but you can still get by.

Still, this film only seemed to arouse my appetite without bedding it down. What I (and everyone) really wants now is new seasons to continue the story onward. From what I can tell, there is absolutely nothing in the works but a small web series and that is all we are getting.

With just the length of a movie, although the story was good, it just didn’t feel like enough for me. Now I might find myself living in denial that it is truly over and done.

Veronica Mars is an excellent film continuation of a TV series, but I would argue it doesn’t match the quality given to us from the first two seasons. Alas, perhaps my lofty goals were set too high.

 

3 out of 4.

Oh Kristen Bell. You are a big star. Why are you in this movie, The Lifeguard, something I have never heard about and went straight to DVD?

Is it Dax Shepard‘s fault? I bet it is Dax’s fault. He is a jerk. Don’t let him put you in bad movies. You are lucky you avoided Brother’s Justice. I swear, if Hit and Run had been horrible, those two movies would have killed his career.

Just saying. Watch out Kristen.

“No, you watch out! No one talks bad about MY MAN!” – Kristen, if she were a proud black woman.

Leigh (Kristen Bell) is going through a midlife crisis. She went to college, was valedictorian, but ended up quitting her New York job and moving back to Connecticut, her home, where she last felt happy. By mid life crisis, I should note she is less than 30, so this is just some other weird event in her life. Or she is not going to live past 60. Shit.

Either way. Sad times, so she goes to live with her parents again, and rekindle with her old friends (Mamie Gummer, Martin Starr, Joshua Harto).

Heck, she even gets a job as a lifeguard. Her old high school job. Making over 9 bucks an hour. Hooray!

But then something strange happens. During her identity crisis, she finds comfort in another individual. Someone who goes by the name of Little Jason (David Lambert), son of Big Jason, the pool owner. They start a fling unexpectedly, and have copious amounts of sexual intercourse. And he is only sixteen.

Yep. Sixteen! True love, yo.

Sometimes it is a good idea to do that gender reversal thing for romance movies. Does it still work if an older man was the lifeguard and it was a sixteen year old girl? No, heck no. That’s bad. Very bad. Kristen has a really creepy character it turns out, and no one around them realizes it until one individual does by the end. Good ole society, being programmed into thinking that is at least a bit okay. She just represents someone in society.

The movie took awhile to get to the love interest between her and the kid, slowly building up, as she just wandered around her home trying to find stuff to do. And guys to do, I guess.

Too slow. This movie dragged on, for a story that ended up being pretty simple. The thing that gets me is that none of the characters really feel believable. They try to explain why she quit her job and moved home, but it just didn’t seem correct. I couldn’t believe it. It is like they had the idea of someone move back home, but not a great reason why and it was an after thought.

The later scenes between her and David Lambert were pretty steamy, I will give it that, but at the same time, it felt incredibly weird. Damn gender reversal analysis. It ruined a potentially good thing.

No, I am not saying the movie would have been good without it. Too slow, too much meh acting, too much nothing over all. An easy one to skip over and really I’d rather pretend it didn’t exist.

1 out of 4.

When I saw the trailer (I never saw this trailer) for Save The Date, I assumed that the stars were also the writers! It looked like an indie romance comedy that these comedy stars keep doing on a small budget (I based this on the poster only).

Lots of assumptions, but seriously, they are all very similar. Trust me.

But some other person wrote it! So uhh, maybe it will just be different and realistic?

We all know the real reason I watched this movie. Sup Alli?Sarah (Lizzy Caplan) is moving out of her apartment! Why? She is moving in with her long term boyfriend, Kevin (Geoffrey Arend). Yay relationships!

She never wants to get married, but hey, living together is fine. He is the lead singer in a small band. Sarah’s sister, Beth (Alison Brie) is a lot more secure in her life, and she is currently planning her wedding to Andrew (Martin Starr), the drummer of that same band! What a convenient way for everyone to be introduced quickly!

Despite everyone telling him not too, Kevin decides the best course of action is to propose to Sarah at the end of their last concert before going on a big tour, in front of all their friends and family! This doesn’t go the way he had planned it.

This causes a lot of strife in the group, obviously. But hey, Sarah warned him. She is also totally interested in this Jonathan (Mark Webber) guy at her work. He will do, he hates marriage too.

This leads to fighting amongst all people, sex, cheating, and maybe even a pregnancy. Yep, pretty realistic I’d say.

To be fair, this does look super realistic. Dat frizzle. When you watch a movie like this, you hope the acting is awesome, and it probably has really great dialogue. Well, the latter is generally true. The conversations felt real, the reactions felt real, no one was a silly stereotype. But the acting? Definitely not high on the Ben Affleck scale.

I actually enjoyed the plot and (I will say it again) realisticness of the whole movie, but the ending ruined it a bit for me. I don’t want to stereotype it and say the ending felt “artsy” and thus bad, but…other words really escape me. It’s a bullshit way to end a movie, and they should feel bad. I demand a complete story, not snapshots of random lives.

Someone who was working on this must have just got out of art school.

2 out of 4.

Adventureland! A title like that, it must be a good time.

This is actually my second attempt at watching Adventureland. The first time I tried, it was going to be while I was donating Plasma. But the nurses kept talking to me the first 30 minutes of the film, so I missed a lot of plot (and was quite annoyed) and then the machine blew up. Very messy. Never really tried to reschedule after that!

I also had a temporary ban on Jesse Eisenberg movies, because there was a month span when I saw…pretty much all of them but this one.

Fuck the plot, just tell me how to get one of them giant pandas.

James (Eisenberg) has just graduated from college! And as part of his college grad gift, he gets to go to Europe for the summer for many weeks. All planned out, just needs a bit more to fix the cost of travel.

But fuck. His dad kind of got demoted and they are losing a lot lot of money. They can’t even help him handle graduate school in NYC. So his Euro trip is cancelled and he has to move back to Pittsburgh to find a summer job. But where could he work with virtually no real world work experience (fucking literature majors man)?

Adventureland! Too bad the owner (Bill Hader) and his wife (Kristen Wiig) have him working at Games. Rides are where the real winners get to be. A lot easier, no asshole customers. I mean, even his asshole old friend Frigo (Matt Bush) has a rides job. Oh well.
‘
So he gets shown the carnie ropes by Joel (Martin Starr), a fellow intellectual lost in the pit of amusement park despair. And it kind of sucks a lot. But then he meets Em (Kristen Stewart), and it gets a bit better. Kind of. Too bad too much drama happens at this place, and way too much pent up sexual frustration. Especially one Lisa P (Margarita Levieva) returns to the park. Not to mention having the maintenance guy (Ryan Reynolds) being a kick ass musician who once jammed with Lou Reed.

Studies have shown that reviews with a picture of Ryan Reynolds get clicked on 3x as much than those without.

Adventureland! Where uhh, dreams go to die I guess? Apparently carnie life sucks in Pittsburgh, and it is full of privileged white people. It happens all the time, I am sure.

I was kind of very disappointed with the movie. No one really stood out as a great role, except for the Hader/Wiig duo of awkward owners. Good at conversations they are. But didn’t feel like it was that funny for a comedy. Probably has a lot more drama in it than people would expect. But when one of the biggest movie problems is just based off of miscommunication and people not talking about what is actually happening? That is such a cop out. That shit doesn’t happen in real life. Anger can still be there, but at least people generally get the truth.

But overall, the movie felt pretty lazy and just eventually ended for me.

1 out of 4.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy not only sounds like a great name for a movie, but a band, a novel, a weekly comic strip, and a video game. I am surprise we aren’t eating a cereal with that name yet either. The first time hearing that title, I felt like the guy who just invented the word “Shazam!”

I am sure he felt Marvel-ous.

Jason Sudeikis is middle aged and likes to party. Like all middle aged people I know. He lives in his dad’s summer house, pretty much, and throws crazy bashes that frequently get the police called on them. We get to see their “White Trash Bash” at the start. He meets a girl, Leslie Bibb! Who he wants, but later turns out to be his real estate agent.

Real estate agent?! Oh yeah. His dad is selling his house. Well shit. All the memories! He needs to find an epic, end of summer hootenanny to end all other hootenannies. With the help of his best friend Tyler Labine, he realizes that his generation is lame. They need to kick start their generation back on the right track, and have a good old fashioned orgy. (Oh shit, title drop again!)

Who is involved though? Well just their close friends. Lake Bell (recently single), Michelle Borth (secretly likes Jason), Lindsay Sloane (insecure about her looks), Nick Kroll (insecure about everything), and Angela Sarafyan and Martin Starr (Dating couple). But who isn’t invited? Lucy Punch and Will Forte, because they just got married and have a baby, and that would be weird.

And the last thing you need in an orgy is for things to be weird.

The obvious plot comes from the fact that Jason finally likes a girl, but she probably wouldn’t be too keen on hearing about a planned Orgy, that he is the lead alpha in. Also there is a lot of sex talk and sex in the movie. You know, people trying to figure out if they want to, how they would do it, getting tips from people, etc. Normal stuff.

There isn’t as much nakedness as one would expect from a movie called this though. Or sex. The “orgy” party did last longer than I thought, but still seemed like it could have been better. More realistic, probably no. Because people are too awkward. The humor of the movie, pretty witty at times, and other times fell short a lot. This is Jason’s first role as “100% lead actor” role, but wasn’t even the funniest person (that would be Tyler Labine). It was decent, but not the laugh riot I was hoping for.

2 out of 4.