Tag: Harry Styles

The hype surrounding Dunkirk has lasted a little bit over a year. A historical war movie from Christopher Nolan? A war film on IMAX or 70mm screens!

Bombs and sadness!

Because the real life Dunkirk really fucking sucked. A whole lot of Allied soldiers in World War II were surrounded. It was one of the major setbacks of the war and could have lost the entire war if things didn’t slightly work out.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s talk about some war things.

Tightly packed, little soldiers, just trying to get home.

War. War never changes. Except for World War 1. That changed a whole lot of things. The number of soldiers to die in this war was far higher than any war before it. They had less swords and horses, instead focusing on technology could kill. And it in World War II, that technology could now fly, dive under water, bomb, and more.

And in the city of Dunkirk, France, the allies were completely fucked. The French and British forces were surrounded on all land sides by the Germans. The sides without Germans had water. Sure, on the other side of that water was Great Britain, but it was far away.

The soldiers could only bunker down and hope they could get rescued, because every day the enemy came closer and took out more of their supplies. But even the water wasn’t safe. The Germans had U-Boats, and of course planes dropping bombs. Soldiers just wanted to get home. If the armies were wiped out, the Allies would have lost the war and there would not have been a second chance to come back and take over.

So how are they going to rescue so many soldiers? And how many aren’t going to make it? Well, either way, people are not getting out of there happy.

Featuring three main plot lines, and a lot of dudes mostly. Aneurin Barnard, Barry Keoghan, Cillian Murphy, Damien Bonnard, Fionn Whitehead, Harry Styles, Jack Lowden, James D’Arcy, Mark Rylance, Tom Glynn-Carney, Tom Hardy, Will Attenborough, and Kenneth Branagh.

French? British? Doesn’t matter. Basically everyone there was whiter than the sand though.

Dunkirk has potentially been one of the more hyped films of 2017. More than the superhero movies, more than whatever Leo DiCaprio might find himself in, more than the return of the NFL (probably not true). It is a summer blockbuster, that is Nolan directed, and probably headed straight for several Oscar nominations despite not waiting until the end of the year.

And yet, here we are, I am giving it a 2 out of 4.

First of all, I will openly acknowledge it is technically a wonderful work of art. The camera use, the cinematography, the explosions and a bit of the thrill.

But the biggest issues I heard about it ahead of time that I blew off came full force and hit me hard. The story just was weak. It relied entirely on tense sequences and not knowing how the different plot liens interacted to build the entire story. It was a good idea for a story, but the big story elements were mostly missing.

It took me weeks to write this review, partly because of how daunting writing the plot summary portion would be. For example (and probably realistically so), we barely hear character names. I remember only one or two after the film, everyone else is just a soldier or citizen doing their best. The rescue is the story, but the rescue is only so strong.

The other reason it took me awhile is because it just took so long to figure out my feelings behind it. I went in expecting a 4 out of 4, figured it would be a 3 out of 4, but then realized that to me it ends up being just a bit more mediocre in the long run. I am shocked, I am confused, and I really just wanted something much, much more.

2 out of 4.

Since 2009, we have been blessed as a culture and as a nation to receive a summer concert movie every year. In 3D, no less!

At first we were given the Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a single song I have ever heard from them, so I never even considered watching it. This one confuses me the most.

Then we were given Kenny Chesney: Summer In 3D, which is the only country artist to be given this treatment. I guess they were experimenting early on.

In 2011, we received the mac daddy of concert movies, as they kicked it up a notch with Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. If anything, we learned a valuable life lesson from his title alone.

In 2012, I can honestly say we were given the best 3D Concert movie yet, Katy Perry: Part Of Me. I laughed, I cried, I was entertained. I even became more of a fan.

Now, in the year the Mayans could not predict, we are given One Direction: This Is Us, a foreign band who I really don’t know anything about. From my research, these concert movies have been getting better and better each year, so I expect this one to make the most noise and win all of the awards.

They are in order of most important to least important.“Oh my god, a boy!” These are not the words I expected to hear when I entered the theater a few minutes before the movie began. What I saw was one entire row full of middle school girls. They quickly informed me that they didn’t know each other, and were all fans who just met. There was also one mom sitting behind them already asleep.

“Hey, who is YOUR favorite?!” Well, crap, I am not at all prepared for this! I make up a lie, and try to go back to blending in, but that is practically impossible. It ended up being 19 middle school girls, 1 mom, and a neck beard movie reviewer.  Apparently I was not the target demographic?

“Hey, you don’t care if we scream and yell during the movie right?”

Go ahead. Go crazy.

3D has really made leaps and bounds since Avatar, but little did I know that they would go to these lengths to improve the overall concert experience. From what I can tell, they decided to put a row of screaming middle school girls in every 3D showing of One Direction: This Is Us. What better way to enjoy the songs, than with a gaggle of girls singing and screaming every time a member of the band removes his shirt? What I really wonder is how they are going to include this feature with the eventual Blu-Ray 3D release?

Actual shot from the movie. No one is shirtless, for your dissatisfaction. One Direction is made up of five boys from the United Kingdom, who all auditioned for The X-Factor, and they decided to put them into a boy band! Plucked by Simon Cowell personally, Niall, Zayn, Harry, Liam, and Louis became an overnight sensation that rocked their island, then the world. They didn’t win The X-Factor, but that didn’t matter.

In this movie you get to hear a big selection of their catalog performed live and on stage for your enjoyment, while also hearing a few numbers acoustically while they practice. I will note, the 3D used during these concerts were incredibly well done, and high quality. You also get to see them with their families from their small home towns, superimposed with them wandering Europe, Asia, and more.

One Direction: This Is Us is definitely not the best 3D Summer Concert movie I have found, just the second best. Katy Perry made me cry, after all. Given the screaming girl fan base, I don’t see this movie bombing in any way, as it probably only took $10 million to make. As the great Drake once said, as long as the outcome is income, na’mean?

To answer your question little girl, I guess my favorite One Directioner is Zayn. He clearly has the most talent singing wise. I would follow that up with Niall, just because I feel bad for him. He has a strange name, doesn’t get to sing as much, and is (probably) the only one that can play guitar. Poor Niall.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go back to youtubing all of their songs.

 

2 out of 4.