Tag: Ana Ularu

It feels like forever since I have seen a Dan Brown film. Angels & Demons came out in 2009, practically another life ago. I didn’t have to review that film or The Da Vinci Code. I thought the Code was okay, and I sort of likes A&D, but mostly because of Ewan McGregor.

I basically have forgotten these films existed.

But then Ron Howard comes back and says “No! There is more!” I am sure there is more than Inferno too, when it comes to the books, but I don’t even care enough to look it up.

Maybe Howard just got tired of making good movies, like Rush. Maybe he wanted something where someone would do all the leg work in the writing department. Either way, Inferno now exists. And I have to watch it after putting it off for months.

Inferno feels like uncovering a big mystery after thousands of years and opening it up to find out it was just empty.

Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) is at it again! Or the opposite of that. As he wakes up in a hospital, in Italy, with no memory of recent events. He was dreaming of the Apocalypse though, which is always a fun time.

His Doctor, Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones) tells him he got shot in the head and survived it, which would explain his amnesia. There is also an assassin after him, so they both had better get moving, or more people will get bullets in the head resulting in even more amnesia.

They eventually find a clue left by Bertrand Zobrist (Ben Foster), a villain name if there ever has been one. He is a billionaire geneticist, and he wants to kill billions of people. Namely he thinks the population of the world has to go down, or else everyone will die. So, being obsessed with Dante, he made a virus called Inferno, that will kill everyone.

Unless, of course, you think…someone were to want to stop it?! Oh no! Who to call, who to call.

Also starring Sidse Babett Knudsen, Omar Sy, Irrfan Khan and Ana Ularu.

Is this the same scene as above? I honestly don’t remember.

Inferno is a wild, chaotic, burning, mess of a film.

From beginning to end, they want to use confusion, instead of mystery, to tell a story and keep you involved. It is convoluted from start to finish, and a cast of one familiar character does not really help myself ever feel grounded.

I honestly found myself halfway through the movie just wondering if I should turn it off. That I should not write a review and instead watch something else. But then I knew that Inferno was so bad, I needed to make sure my review came out, even if it was months later so that future people looking into RedBox would have some clue.

History is exciting. Conspiracies can be exciting. But Brown must have used his best ideas for the first two books, because he is really digging up some less exciting stuff with this movie. Hanks had a pretty bad 2016, yes, I didn’t really like Sully. So hopefully he can turn things around in the future. Play a new role, not a real person, not a sequel. Give me something to show off the acting. Give me something new.

Inferno can go back to hell for all I care.

After American Hustle, I just assumed every Christmas we would get a movie with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence. They did it two years a row, and that means they have to do it forever?

Sure enough, looking at their IMDBs early in 2014, you would have seen Serena, coming out sometime end of 2014. Three for three, they were going for the Turkey!

But then something happened. It never came out. It got pushed to MARCH of 2015, basically the middle of nowhere. And it had an instant VOD release. Thinks weren’t looking good for this period drama set in North Carolina based on a book…

Real lumberjacks wear pink. Just ask Monty Python!

This movie, Serena, is a period drama (early 1930’s), set in North Carolina (Mountains) based on a book (also called Serena!).

George Pemberton (Cooper) is there, trying to start (or already has?) a big timber business. He is a lumberjack, okay? He is working on expanding his business to overseas, Brazil, get some of that rain forest money.

And then there is Serena (Lawrence). You may have heard about her. She is a blonde stand out, living amongst all the mountain folk. She doesn’t need no man to get her way, but she does, in George. Speaking of George, he has a child actually, with Rachel (Ana Ularu). Kind of awkward, but boys will be boys.

That is, until it is found out that Serena can NOT have kids. So the only person to carry on George’s legacy is some bastard kid. That’s not okay. When people get in Serena’s way, people get hurt. She is conniving and maybe even a little bit mad.

But what else is there to do in the North Carolina mountains?

Also featuring David Dencik, Rhys Ifans, Sean Harris, and Toby Jones.

And of course it ends with a big dance sequence like in Silver Linings Playbook. Right? Right?!

This has taken me about 10 hours of research after watching the movie, but I think I figured out why it was delayed and eventually only a limited release and VOD.

Serena is not very good.

The book might be fine, great, grand, wonderful. I don’t care. The movie is a bore and it is awkward. First off, Cooper and Lawrence, despite their presumably best efforts, do not look like they fit at all with the rest of the actors in this film. Maybe they are too pretty, maybe just too famous, but it doesn’t work. I would also say they don’t act that great here, which is a shame, since we know what they can do.

The side characters all above were pretty good though! Which is a shame. Their collective good was not great enough to overshadow the lumps of coal that Cooper and Lawrence delivered on a platter, however.

Aside from that, the story is pretty much a bore. Some excitement happens. Maybe two exciting things. And a couple more moments that were meant to be exciting, but instead were met with yawns. By the end when I should care more about the fate of certain characters, I instead found myself checking how much time was left and when it would finally end.

This isn’t All About Steve bad, no, but at least All About Steve had some entertainment value.