Tag: William Baldwin

I think it goes without saying that I picked up this movie to watch based on the title alone. Well, you’d be wrong, internet reader.

No, although tantalizing, the title of Sexy Evil Genius was not the reason I picked it up. I actually picked it up because it had five actors on the cover and I recognized ALL of them. Pretty shocking. So I figured, why not give this straight to DVD film a shot?

Here are two of those people now! Remember them? They were both on Buffy! The 90s, guys!

Nikki Franklyn (Katee Sackoff) is an interesting woman, the topic of our film, and the last person we get to meet.

Zachary Newman (Seth Green) dated Nikki in high school, and even eventually lost his virginity to her. But they drifted apart, she lied to him, and then dumped him, and he hasn’t seen her for over ten years.

Marvin Coolidge (Harold Perrineau) dated Nikki a few years later, they loved Jazz, played instruments together, drum circles, free spirit, beach bumming, the whole nine yards. Then she lied to him, dumped him, and he hasn’t seen her for years.

Miranda Prague (Michelle Trachtenberg) dated Nikki soon after Marvin, but now she was on Heroin, lying about stalkers, drugs, wild sex parties, you named it. Her relationship started on lies, and continues the whole way through, until Miranda broke up with her after too much.

But she has invited her exes to this bar on this night to make a few announcements. Sure, she killed the man she dated after Miranda, who she also claimed was a stalker. But she is better now. She has fixed her mind. She has found a new lover, Bert Mayfaire (William Baldwin), a lawyer. Well, her lawyer who got her out of a jam. And they are getting married.

Oh, and she is going to kill someone again tonight. One of the five people at the table, including maybe herself.

Here are the other three people. Their TV shows were from the 2000s. Except for William. Fuck him.

I was told this movie was basically a much softer version of the movie Sushi Girl. Never heard of it! But eh, guess I have to watch it now.

Or at least both films have in common that they take place entirely in a restaurant/bar with people conversing. This movie had flashbacks to help tell the story, can’t speak for Sushi Girl. It almost reminds me of My Dinner With Andre, but that one is a lot more real, and I never saw that movie, so I would be lying.

This film? It was kind of interesting. A bit. It had its moments, mostly near the beginning and the end. The middle? I thought it dragged on far too long once the entire party arrived, and I was just waiting for it to end. It was really hard to keep my interest, so I might have missed an important plot point, but really don’t think that is true by the end.

Honestly, this movie would have made much more sense if it was only 70 minutes long. A nice premise, but far too much filler and waiting for it to end.

Ooh, Noise. That would be either some vague horror movie, or another remake of The Grinch.

Obviously it is neither, but man, wouldn’t some gritty remake of The Grinch be cool? Something rated R, yet also still not a horror movie.

I’d watch it.

Quick googling says there is no such thing as a Gritty Grinch. Yet.

Instead of my bizarre idea, this movie goes one step bizarrier (Level 2 spell?). It stars mild mannered Tim Robbins. He lives and works in New York city, with his wife, Bridget Moynahan, and their young daughter. But every night the same thing happens. The noise never stops. More specifically, the car alarms, but all the excess noises are a big problem in his eyes.

It makes the baby wake up, and makes it so no one can sleep well, and also makes him limp. Err. Well because the cops never seem to do something about it, he decides to do his own punishment. First he starts slow, deflating a tire or whatever. But eventually he is full on rage mode, smashing the window open to pop the trunk, to cut the line to the battery, just to shut it off. 3 minutes is too long for an alarm to go, given that most people ignore alarms anyways and probably do more harm than good.

He becomes known as The Rectifier, a sort of vigilante punishing those who don’t turn off their alarms. He does try to use the courts to his advantage, but each time his case is thrown out. After his wife makes him leave for his obsession, he meets a Russian student, Margarita Levieva, who helps him start a simple petition to change some car alarm laws and make it fine-able which gets huge support. But the Mayor (William Hurt) and his assistant (William Baldwin) don’t like it just because it seems to support vigilantism, so they put a stop to it.

So it becomes up to Tim Robbins to find a way to get his law passed, any means possible.

Look at all that rage. Yeah, he clearly mad.

I will keep this short and sweet. This movie was weird, yes, which I like. The beginning felt pretty good but died down after about twenty or so minutes. The ending was also strong, I liked what he decided to do in order to finally get his ordinance passed. But a whole lot of the middle was kind of boring. I didn’t even like their quick country plantation visit, where he found that the noise problems still exist outside of the city.

It is a bad problem, no one likes it but everyone accepts it and his character cannot fathom why they should accept it any longer. So he decides to spend a long time trying to combat it, and it is kind of awesome in an “unexpected hero” sort of way. I was surprised this wasn’t based on some real life story of a guy who hated the alarms that much.

But man, if it was a bit better in the middle, this movie would be a lot better.

Uh oh, The Squid And The Whale? You know that means it will be a quirky movie.

An autobiographical, quirky movie too.

Jeff Daniels looking like a hobo? Must be artsy too.

This is supposed to be a story about the youth of Noah Baumbach. Who is that? He is a writer, who works on a lot of Wes Anderson movies. I mean, hey, if you want to make a movie about your life, go for it.

Jeff Daniels and Laura Linney are going to get divorced! Jeff is a pseudo famous writer, who used to be a big shot. Now he just works at a university, having a hard time writing about great work. Laura got better at writing thanks to him, and is even about to get a nice book deal! But that isn’t the cause for concern. They argue a lot, so it is divorce time.

Their two sons, Jesse Eisenberg and Owen Kline, obviously don’t like this. They have joint custody (without lawyers) so have figured out the schedule for the two to go between their home with the mom, and the dads new home.

Jesse is pissed off at the situation, and blames his mom, thinking she is mad at the father for not being as successful any more, and even more mad when he finds out she cheated. Owen sides more with his mother, as he only really knows his father as teh stay at home / teacher guy who has never really been a success and drinks a lot. The mom begins to see Owen’s tennis coach (William Baldwin) and the father pursues a current student of his (Anna Paquin).

Jesse also starts dating Halley Feiffer, who is someone he is interested in, but thinks he can do better. (Yeahhh). He also claims to have written the song “Hey You” by Pink Floyd, playing it at a school talent show (this is the 80s). Eventually he has to see a school counselor (Ken Leung, from Lost!). By the end, when he is able to conquer his own fears and see the Squid/Whale exhibit at the Natural Museum, he realizes the truth of his situation, and how blinded he had been the whole time.

ALSO look at that head!

So one thing to note is all the characters do a really good job in this movie. But most notably the different kids reaction to the divorce, and the eventual realization of why they take the sides that they take. But more importantly, Eisenberg’s character acts a HELL of a lot like his later portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network. The level of assholery it is there, and he is an intelligent character, just not as intelligent. But the way he talks to his girlfriend? His reaction towards others?

Sure he is a bit more emotional, but besides that, I would not be surprised if they saw this film and gave him Zuckerberg because of it. It is weirdly similar.

The character’s have different names from the director, which I guess is him making it less of a biography and more of a story, but I have to assume Jesse plays the director, and not the little kid.

It is a pretty touching movie that doesn’t hold itself back at all, and really relies mostly on the actors and emotions.