Tag: True Story

The tale of Bernie is a strange one and a tragic one. More so when you realize it is based on a true story.

I SAID BASED. Apparently there was large support from the actual town of Carthage, Texas to not let the film be made there, as a lot of people either felt like they were being made fun of, or though Bernie was a creepy bad man. But you know, it is just a similar story, with a lot weirder stuff going on in the film. So take it with a grain of salt.

Or else this man will come into your room at night and host your funeral!!!

Bernie (Jack Black) is a weird man. He may be gay, but he loves Jesus and is super Christian, so that is probably not true[Editor’s note: Movie logic, not mine.]. He became a funeral director, and knows the proper way to liven up a corpse for the big day. Originally from Louisiana, he has moved to small town Carthage, Texas, where he immediately strives to become a pillar in the community. He sings, he acts, he gives gifts, he mourns, he funeral directs, he goes above and beyond the call of duty every time. EVERYONE loves him.

Mostly. Not Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MacLaine) who just had her husband pass away. But she hates everyone, and everyone hates her back. But she is super rich, and keeps it all to herself. Two of her grandchildren even tried to sue for some trust fund! What gives? Despite all this, Bernie does his best to get her to cheer up, and is eventually welcome into her grace. She isn’t that bad, just gotta give her a chance!

Eventually they start doing everything together. Trips around the world, shows, just general shopping and hanging out. He is living the life. She begins to let him handle her affairs to, having access to all of her funds and stuff, so she doesn’t have to do it. But she also gets more protective. She starts treating him worse and worse, limiting his schedule and life, making him direct less funerals, and even sing less at church! It’d be a shame if one day Bernie just snapped and shot old Marjorie in the back. It’d be worse if he freaked out, didn’t know what to do, and decide to hide the body in the house and pretend she was still alive. For months. Yeah, that would be bad.

Matthew McConaughey plays the local DA who is attempting to get justice served, Sonny Carl Davis as Lonnie, a lawyer, and Rick Dial as the funeral director.

A chainsaw statue? That does sound like a great investment.

Why spoil most of the movie? Ehh, true story. I knew going into it that Bernie killed some old lady, and kept it a secret. But knowing that ahead of time didn’t ruin it at all for me. What made this movie something special was the large cast of characters. Instead of a narrator, the story is basically narrated by a large group of townsfolk that are retelling the events and their thoughts on the matter. Sort of in a documentary or realty show like format, they are talking straight to the camera and sitting in a home or shop or office, and they are phenomenal. They add so much depth and character to the movie, they are one of the best “greek choruses” I have ever seen.

Not to take away from the main cast of actors. McConaughey did what he always does. Jack Black really enveloped himself in this character, and if you like to hear him sing, you get to do it quite a bit. Mostly religious songs too! Shirley MacLaine did a lot with her body language before she was talkative, also doing a nice job.

And it is weird. Quirky as shit. I thought it was a well done darker comedy, and will probably buy it someday.

Big Miracle? Some whale movie?

Originally I wasn’t going to watch Big Miracle, but then I remembered I watch everything. “Oh yeah! Might as well watch it asap then,” I thinks to myself.2

This is the best intro I have wrote for a movie.

Bitches love whales?

Based off of actual events in the 80s (and thus I don’t know about it), this takes place in a very Northern Alaskan village. Yes, that means Eskimos. For whatever reason, Adam Carlson (John Krasinski) is a reporter in their town reporting on random shit, for the main Alaskan news. People love him there, overall nice guy. He finds one extra report before leaving though, thinking people will love it. Turns out three California Gray Whales are trapped under the ice! The vast water froze quicker this winter, and three whales are sharing a small hole, miles away from the ocean to breath from. Damn, that is sad.

This story gets LOTS of attention. Wildfire amounts. The director of Greenpeace Rachel Kramer (Drew Barrymore) is already around protesting the selling of territory for oil, and of course the guy who bought the land for Oil (Ted Danson). Also tons of media shows up, including Jill Jerard (Kristen Bell) who is willing to take any story to get a leg up. The head reporter at their department (John Michael Higgins) thinks it is silly though.

Fuck, even the government gets involved! Cold War is still looming, and the government gets a Russian ship nearby, made for cracking ice to help. Because they have no idea how to help these things. Initial tries are failing. Even bring in some boys from Minnesota with ice melting technology meant for rinks to try and speed up the process. Eventually they get the only idea that might work. To constantly make holes in the ice a few meters apart, big enough for the whales to come up for breath, and lead them to the ocean, hoping that they follow said holes.

Sounds crazy? Well because it is. All the locals and news reporters end up helping, including Tim Blake Nelson playing some guy from Alaska! The main kid in the movie is played by Ahmaogak Sweeney, as they had a lot of real locals play the appropriate parts. But will the Whales follow? Will the Russians save the day? Will anyone die along the way!?

Hopefully none of them decide to jump on the ice. That would suck.

So, in terms of Family movies involving saving animals, this one is actually quite refreshing. True stories can be annoying like in Dolphin Tale, where the just poop on everything that matters and give a random inspirational tale nothing like the real events. But this stuff seems to be a bit more spot on.

First off, the main kid in the movie isn’t even the main character? Everyone seems to play an important role, and it isn’t from a kids point of view, like most “family movies”. That is cool.

Secondly, the oil people arent the bad guys. Literally everyone helps out in this movie. And people don’t even need convincing, all sides actively work together and want to save the whales. Sure, some also enjoy the positive PR, but damn it, there is no one stopping them and reluctantly letting it happen. No, it just happens.

I will note I found it weird that everyone seemed to be against letting the locals kill the whales for meat. Kind of rude. Their logic was sound, and would supply them food for quite awhile. Oh well, we love guilting other cultures into living like us.

But yeah, this touching story actually was a good watch, with mostly believable characters. Had some normal family jokes you would have guessed, but overall was pretty decent.

BONUS TEXT!

I wrote this review in June, 2012, the summer before I moved to Iowa. I lived in North Carolina at the time, and Blockbuster I worked at was already closed. So I had even more free time for films, and watched anything I could.

In Iowa, I met my now wife in the summer of 2013. Days after I met her she had to fly out to Alaska to go to the funeral for her uncle, Randy Roosdett. Why is any of this relevant? Well, he apparently was an extra in this film as an oil man. And that is kind of neat.

This is going to be one of those slightly different reviews folks.

Not only is it based on true events, but most of us know about it all. Okay, I mean we are aware of the events around it, without knowing both sides and all the problems and complications. I am talking about the Recount of the 2000 Presidential election ballots in Florida, the decision between who would be the next President, Bush or Gore.

This is not Bush and Gore.

Not sure what I am talking about? Here is some light reading (and thus plot review of the movie!).

TL;DR Florida done fucked up. Some of their ballots were confusing, some machines didn’t punch through enough, the sheet had a front and back, etc etc. Bush supposedly won the state and thus the election, but according to AP news the votes was too close to call, and Gore canceled his concession. Then lots of court stuff. Lots of stuff no one understood, but man was making fun of it easier.

And the whole thing is explained in this nice Hollywood rendition! Woo woo! So yeah, fictionalization happens, but the events are roughly correct, if I have been told correctly.

Kevin Spacey plays the main guy, some Democratic guy. I could tell you everyone’s role, but really I don’t remember them much since they are all real election political people. The closest thing to a villain is Laura Dern as a Florida Secretary of State.

We also got roles for other people! Roles everywhere! For Bob Balaban, Ed Begley Jr., Denis Leary, Tom Wilkinson, John Hurt, and more.

Major woman character is the biggest villain? Don’t blame Hollywood, blame politics in 2000.

Given that I was 11 or so when this Florida stuff happened, I must say I really didn’t understand it at all. I just assumed Gore was being a baby and demanding recounts, I didn’t know what a Chad was. Easy to joke about, and I guess my perceptions were just based on where I lived. I am glad this HBO movie was done as a movie and not a documentary. It made it a lot more exciting and natural feeling to me.

Technically both sides are shown, but it is clear the Democrats (I think) are supposed to be the good side, when both sides had good and bad people in them. Can blame that one on Kevin Spacey probably. But overall it is very informative and entertaining.

Now I feel like I could answer maybe one more question on Jeopardy, thanks to this movie.

I was actually excited to finally see Red Tails. I was hoping it would get me out of this mediocre film slump I have been on. I mean. WAR FILMS GUYS. Think of war films. How many would you describe as epic? Probably a lot of them.

So I was ready for another epic movie, that was based on true events, and George Lucas has been trying to get this movie made since the early 90s. Good, the last film I know about that took a jillion years to make was Avatar, and although not the best movie, it was at least stupidly visually awesome.

Oh yeah. Racism. Epic War movie and racism. HOW CAN IT FAIL?

Movie takes place in 1944, where after a long training program, a group of African-American pilots are finally deployed to Europe to begin fighter pilot duties! Italy at that, which is clearly the hot bed of WWII action. Unfortunately they are given pretty old planes and only scouting missions where the enemy hasn’t been seen for months.

We enter with Colonel William Mortamus (Bryan Cranston) trying to shut the program down, calling it failed with their poor numbers. Colonel A.J. Bullard (Terrence Howard) is fighting for his team state side, noting their poor numbers is only because they don’t get any real missions.

Also he has to fight a report that they are not fit for combat at all. But eventually, with the help of Colonel Jack Tomilson (Lee Tergesen) they get a real mission! The news gets back to Major Emanuelle Stance (Cuba Gooding Jr.) who is in command while the Colonel is away, and much celebration occurs! They are to assist Allies landing in some part of Italy, where they have to fend of German air fire.

The crew is lead by Easy (Nate Parker, what the hell kind of nick name is Easy?), but the best pilot is Lightning (David Oyelowo), who also is reckless. Easy unfortunately doubts himself a lot and is prone to the drinking. We also have Junior/Ray-Gun (Tristan Wilds) and Joker (Elijah Kelley) who you can guess their tropes. There are also the less important characters of Neon (Kevin Phillips) and Smoky (Ne-Yo).

But enough about that! They are super successful in their mission, even taking out a German airfield in the process. Sure, Junior gets injured and loses the full ability of one of his eyes, but that probably wont effect him later right? Right? He probably won’t be taken as a POW by the enemy, due to Easy letting him fly so soon.

They eventually get to provide support to Bombers, and end up being the most successful escort crew in the war, killing a lot more Nayzees than Nayzees kill them.

That my friends is the face of a Flawless Victory.

But it wasn’t even flawless. Turns out this film takes a real event and fictionalizes the shit out of it. Characters, events, survivability, and also makes it seem like they never fucked up once they finally got to fight. They were still good in real life, but not so perfect. Even had people in the movie die, much to my surprise. And a love story with an Italian woman hottie!

A lot of the negative press from this movie comes from the fact that it lacked really any character growth, and everyone felt like their own little stereotype throughout the movie. And yeah, well, that was true. The only change you can note is that Easy drunk less eventually, and stopped being a little bitch. But that was barely a change in the movie either.

There is only really three missions we see them go on, and we are left believing that they cured racism and saved the war at the same time. But it didn’t feel epic at all. Plane fights are hard as hell to do, and have always been hard as hell to do. But it doesn’t help that the technology for them felt like the early 90s, when Lucas first decided to make this movie.

For a 19 year project, it sure felt rushed.

I have apparently not reviewed a single movie that includes any of the four main actors/actresses from The Fighter.

That is odd, given the list, and that I know I have seen many other movies from each one of them. I think we can all agree that the fault lies with the reader, for not requesting more of their movies to be reviewed. Yes.

Really. Isn’t this movie about friendship and not fighting and crack? Right?

Movie begins with a movie! Well, a documentary being filmed. Christian Bale‘s character used to be a decent boxer from Lowell, Massachustes, and claims to have once knocked down Sugar Ray Leonard in a fight (When in actuality he tripped). But since then he is on crack cocaine, and kind of a annoyance to the city. He believes the documentary is about his possibly comeback. Also involved is his brother, Mark Whalberg, who never really became a successful boxer, and is more of a stepping stone for up and coming boxers.

Ah-ha! This movie is actually about Marky Mark. Finding possible love in Amy Adams, and possibly disappointing his quite large family. See, Marky is starting to hate his family. In an early fight, his opponent his ill, but they agree to let him fight an obviously bigger opponent, putting him at a huge disappointment, so they can get that monies. He broke his hand and is seriously considering leaving them all, with Amy, to go to a non family operated training facility, where he actually can make money just training for fights. This also makes his mom, Melissa Leo, pretty upset. And her gaggle of daughters.

I feel like going into more detail kind of spoils it all. Lets just say that the documentary isn’t what he thought it was, that someone might end up going to prison, and the movie might end with a certain family member overcoming all the odds to win. And maybe bigger family disputes and eventual forgiveness.

I’mnotsayingthatiswhathappensbutIamjustsayin’.

Fighting aside, the star of this movie is Christian Bale. He was nominated for Best Supporting Actor and won that shit hands down. Melissa Leo was also nominated for Supporting Actress, and also won. You know who wasn’t nominated? Whalberg, the dang main character. Bale took this role to heart. He lost tons of weight, to the creepy skeleton looking face, to try and be a crack addict. He also did a lot of fast talking and it just felt real.

Only reason I won’t give it a 4/4 is because the the “side story” (arguably still part of the main story, but come on, its not “the main story”) is better than the main story. Marky Mark does a good job, and even Amy Adams plays her roles as Yoko Ono pretty believable. But while watching it I didn’t care as much about the boxing aspects, just the family stuff. Because that was cooler. Unfortunately, it being a “True story” and all, the boxing had to happen instead of something sexy like Curling.

Extraordinary is one of my favorite words. Especially if you say it for real, and not the shortened way (Extrordinary). Extra. Ordinary. That means beyond ordinary. It means AWESOME.

Well, for Extraordinary Measures, I figured it would be about spies or secrets or government or something. I mean. Look at the cast! Nope. It is a feel good movie about curing diseases. Damn it!

Well, at least we might get some hxc science.

Brendan Fraser plays high up not CEO but business guy who does something. What does he do? Not important. He leaves that job in the movie. But it has nice health insurance. That is good, because out of 3 children, the last two have Pompe disease. Which means something, but just picture kids in electrical wheelchairs, with a fatal disease that means they probably wont make it to 10.

But when the doctor tells him that his two children will both probably die within a year, him and his wife, Keri Russell, freak out. But Brendan freaks out more, leaves working during an “important meeting” and flies out to Nebraska to find Harrison Ford, MD. Ford is a better theorist than he is a scientist, and he believes he knows how to help cure Pompe disease. But he’d need money, and it will take awhile. Brendan says he an get him that money in a month (half a million dollars!).

Well, he only gets $90k. But that is way better than expected. So Ford, grumpy old Ford, says they will have to start their own business and lab, get money from investors, to work on this. But he needs a CEO to do it, and even though there are plenty more people qualified than Brendan, none of them would have the same drive that he has (You know. Trying to save TWO kids). So he quits his job on a gamble. Alan Ruck (who has one scene) tells him it is crazy, but you know one, you have to be crazy sometimes.

So the movie tells of the tale of them trying to get funds, trying to rush science, and do whatever it takes, even if it means their pride have to take a bashing, to find and develop a cure. For added guilt, Coutney B. Vance is a friend of theirs, who also has two children with the disease.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Alive.”

So, this is a feel good movie, based off of the real story. So here are some spoilers. Yes, they find a “cure”. Or at least one one that if administered to infants can get rid of it, but one given to older children can get rid of the dying thing (not the whole, cant walk and etc thing). Yes, the children are still alive today (Posted Jan 26, 2012, for anyone reading this in the 2030s or whenever in the future). Yes, pharmaceutical companies are bitches. Also, no cows were harmed in this movie.

I wasn’t sure if Ford was the best choice to play scientists looking to start his own biotech company. Because he just seems super old. But hey, its Fords movie, so he will be a big role if he wants to! Fraser didn’t entirely mess up the movie either. His goofiness was appropriate, and it seemed like he really cared for these fake, not really Pompe looking kids of his. But everything is expected, and really, nothing too different about this movie and other extraordinary measure like movies.

True story alert! Kind of.

Burke and Hare (which has been a movie before) is loosely based on the murders committed by William Burke and William Hare in Scotland in the 1800s.

The main difference is that the 70s version was a horror, so presumably scary. The modern version is a dark comedy, and thus well…strange.

I feel like they are staring into my soul.

Burke and Hare are played by Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis respectfully. The movie is narrated by Angus the Hangman, played by Bill Bailey, who begins the story with a hanging, of course. The corpse is normally sold to the highest bidder, between two doctors, Tom Wilkinson and Tim Curry. They both teach at medical schools and use the bodies for dissections, (While Curry is having to resort to live patients).

Burke and Hare are down in the dumps! They are out of cash, and all of their plans go awry. When Hare’s wife mentions an Inn-patron died, they give the body to Wilkinson, and receive a nice fund. They enter a deal that if they can give him two bodies a week, they will be handsomely rewarded! First they attempt to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but they aren’t fit for dissection. Bones and what not only.

So instead? Murder! Specifically those about to die (at first). Or bad people. Or whatever. Soon they also get mixed up with blackmailers. Aka someone they have to give money too for “protection”. Hare wants to save up money to start a funeral parlor business (Which may be the first of its kind). Burke spent a lot of his money on the production of an all woman theater group for MacBeth. Starring Isla Fisher of course.

But eventually people get suspicious. WILL THEY BE CAUGHT? (this is history, yes, kind of). WILL THEY HELP SCIENCE? (yes) IS THAT CHARLES DARWIN OVER THERE? (yes). Well that’s cool.

The movie was decently funny. Simon Pegg was not with his normal ensemble that you always see, but instead with Smeagol. That was a change.

But the thought of this guy being a murderer? Easy to grasp.

I am sure a lot of the history was embellished, but it is definitely and interesting story. Parts were decently amusing, but amusing is really as far as it went. I liked all the science tidbits in the movie, especially the scene at the end where they showed where William Burke is today. Who doesn’t love movies that give you those tidbits at the end?

As I noted (bitched about?) in the review for Mr. Popper’s Penguins, lately Jim Carrey’s movies have not been up to the same level of quality I have come to expect of him. Almost like after Eternal Sunshine, he stopped trying.

Well, I Love You, Phillip Morris is the exception to that rule.

Somehow, with the title and cover and everything, I didn’t know this was a “gay movie”.

This movie is based on the true life story of Steven Jay Russell, and book based off of his life, played by Jim Carrey. Steven was just a normal man, living in Virginia Beach as a police officer. He had a wife! Leslie Mann, and played in the local church band. But when he gets into a car accident and nearly dies, he realizes he has been living a lie. He is a gay man, and needs to live like one!

So he does that. Moves. Gets a gay man, does gay things. Even does some con artist stuff to get lots of money! But that puts him in jail. Where he meets Phillip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor! Steven Jay Russell is famous, not for the being gay thing, but for escaping from prison. Multiple times. And this movie goes over it!

Yes, what an interesting man. Finding true love in prison, escaping it on more than one occasion, and being a con man in order to become rich all the time.

You can’t make this shit up, folks.

Or this.

This movie is great guys. Not only hilarious, but the acting done by all the parties involved is great. Sure, it is sometimes kind of campy, but it is worth it. Hard to believe breaking out of prison was actually that easy. Oh the things people do for a bootycall.

I bought this movie because the cover made me laugh. Mattttt Damonnn just looks ridiculous.

Look at it, in all its glory.

And it seems hilarious. Didn’t read the back, no idea on what it was about, just his ridiculous ridiculous face. I think not knowing anything about it a much more enjoyable experience.

The movie tells of Matttt Damonnn, working for a company, which happens to be doing some illegal shenanigans. Nothing that important, just that his company has been involved with price fixing. He decides to tell the FBI. He didn’t think it would turn out to be such a big deal. He thought he could let them know, and be done with it. Nope. They needed proof. This causes him to become one of the most cooperative informants they have ever had. He is SUPER awkward though throughout it. And it is great.

Unfortunately some of the details he gives them are not adding up. Bunch this up with the fact that he is a weird guy, sometimes forgetting meetings, and avoiding people. Is there more shit going on? Maybe. His wife is played by Melanie Lynskey and the FBI agents are Scott Bakula and Joel McHale.

Mattttttttt Damonnnnnnnn

You keep asking yourself “WHY are you doing that???” Without trying to spoil anything, the movie gets pretty deep with its subject material. You just can’t stop watching the train wreck, thinking it can’t be real. You also never really know exactly what is going on.

It was good to be on that ride. What made it even more funny was Damon’s random thoughts throughout the movie, said through voice over. Generally these thoughts had nothing to do with the current scene, and it could make you miss important information. But the only thing you could do was nod along and think, “Huh. Why IS that?” It is also based on a true story (or at least the books about the true story), which I didn’t know until the end. Shocked I tell ya.

I should say ridiculous again.