Tag: Thandie Newton

Gringo

Gringo had something funny occur with their PR screening ahead of time. Our screening wasn’t until the week of release, like normal, but they actually sent out the real invite for it over a month early. Now, normally, these invites are a week to two max early. If any earlier, we get save the date notes or whatever to let you know it is coming up, but this was just the regular invite to respond to for RSVP purposes.

So of course I accepted, and the only reason it is much later a review is because I was sick that day, couldn’t go, and had to watch it weeks later in the theaters. I wanted to see Gringo, it looked fun, and sure, it had a plug on The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale. Let that be a lesson for you, advertising can work. Why else would I still be using old spice body wash every day?

Gringo has an interesting name, given what I think I know what it means, and that we had a film awhile ago called Get The Gringo, which was also a bit better than anticipated. I had high hopes for Gringo given it setting, its very fun looking cast, and of course, because of Mr. Copley adding his own weird style.

WHich One
Which one is the gringo though, really?

Our story is about Harold Soyinka (David Oyelowo), a man who never can catch a break. He has a high job in a pharmaceutical company,but he isn’t rolling in the dough like the people in the higher levels. His wife (Thandie Newton) is an interior decorator, but only has one client and is bleeding their money. His boss (Joel Edgerton), is a hardass, a dickwad, and all of the body parts between those two. But he makes that money, he is good friends with Harold, and he got him the job in the first place.

Harold has to work and travel to Mexico frequently for their job, where they have the pharmaceutical factory set up. They are making a weed pill, so to speak, so that when America starts lifting those bans, they will have the product and infrastructure in place to take advantage of the now open market.

Because we are talking about drugs and Mexico, it should be obvious that the Cartel is also involved. Harold doesn’t know about that of course, he is a good guy, but when dealing with his boss’s mistakes, he is about to see how little he matters in the grand scheme of events.

Also starring Carlos Corona, Alan Ruck, Kenneth Choi, Sharlto Copley, Charlize Theron, Melonie Diaz, Amanda Seyfried, Harry Treadaway, and Yul Vazquez.

GOT HIM
Ooooh, looks like they finally GOT THE GRINGO! Oh, wrong movie. Sorry.

Gringo is an example of a story with a lot of separate plot lines amongst the characters, where no one character is sure of what is actually going on, and all the chaos that occurs from these miscommunications and lies. But also, with death, violence, and comedy. So yeah, going for a Taratino film feel.

Out of all the many cast members, the only one to really shine is our star, Oyelowo, who seems to have perfected that scream freak out look that he gets to do over and over in the film as he continues to get shit upon. Because that is the movie. Bad things happening to his character, despite being a relatively good guy, and him never getting out of his situation.

If you hate crazy plot lines, you still might enjoy it for Oyelowo’s performance, where he seemed to show a different side of him. A more excited side, compared to more of his very serious roles recently.

The movie did feel quite long, given the twists and turns along the way. And hey, I didn’t know where it was going most of the time. So it was a surprising thrill ride that did still have me on the edge of my seat. A lot of bad people in this one, and one guy to root for. A good classic film position to be in.

Give Gringo a shot, at least just once.

3 out of 4.

Vanishing On 7th Street

This is a movie I have walked by about a jillion times, with no intention of rushing to watch it. Vanishing on 7th Street just sounds like a dumb title. I also couldn’t tell if it was a horror or a mystery (its the former).

But I did the craziest thing, and read some of the back. It takes place in Detroit, yess! WATCHING THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY.

Joe Lewis' Fist
No horror can terrorize Detroit. They’d either take a punch to the face, or leave because its already terrorized.

Movie begins at the movies. Thats awesome, because this is a movie. John Leguizamo is some sort of maintenance guy, flirting with the ladies. But while he is in the back, (where it is already dark, so he is using his nice head flashlight thing), it gets darker and he hears a lot of screaming. What what?!

When he gets to where there is people, well, there isn’t people. There is a bunch of clothes on the ground, but no bodies. Some more screaming, but that is it. Turns out that whatever is happening takes the bodies when they are without a light source, in the darkness. Main power generators were all taken out, but anyone who had a lighter or flashlight or something at the time wasn’t taken.

Until their light goes out. Thankfully day still happens, but it is getting shorter and shorter. What ends up happening is his character, Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton, and Jacob Latimore all end up meeting at a bar that has a generator and is making it a safe haven.

The rest of the movie is them trying to figure out how to escape the city, not sure if there is others out there, or if it is just affecting Detroit area. Mostly thing this because of the Lost Colony on Roanoke, and also claiming that the phrase “CROATAN” is mysterious, and not a very well known Indian tribe also in the area of Roanoke colony.

john legu
Oh noes! Look out for the darkness, John!

But the movie also feels like a huge let down. I feel like it didn’t tell a complete story. No you will not find out about the darkness. No, you won’t get any closer to what the hell is happening there. And you also really won’t get any [real] hope for the survivors. They tried to give hope, but that hope seems like bullshit.

And really, the comparison to that situation and the Lost Colony was stupid as shit. Colonists were told to leave where they were going carved in wood, and they did, “CROATAN” a neighboring island tribe. They may have been killed there or whatever. But for the character to say no one knows why they did that, or what it means it just dumb. And a horrible “possible movie plot point” to make.

I thought the movie was horribly slow, for no real payoff.

1 out of 4.

Run, Fatboy, Run

Run, Fatboy, Run I heard about first years ago, but just never got around to watching. I mean, just from the title I wanted to watch it, and knowing it was a Simon Pegg movie made me want to watch it more. I had no idea about the plot either. Which is why I first got it confused with How To Lose Friends & Alienate People, which came out soon after. Oh well. Turns out those movies have big differences, like rating, and in amount of Megan Fox.

Megan Fox
Statistically, when comparing two movies, the one with less amounts of Megan Fox usually ends up being “better”.

The movie starts out unlike other Simon Pegg movies though. Dude is getting married! To Thandie Newton. No racism in this movie! Why? I mean, he does like her. But he also knocked her up. So its one of those things. All of it freaks him out though, and he runs away.

Flash forward five years! For some reason she is still upset about the whole “running away from Marriage thing” and it is hard for him to get to hang out with his son. He is now a more unfit human being (not “fat”) and a security guard, who can barely pay his rent, and bums money off of people. Similarly, his “woman” got a new man! Hank Azaria. Which, when compared to Simon Pegg, does seem like a better choice. He has money, he is nice to people, he even runs marathons for charities! See where this is going?

Simon is trying to prove he can change his ways, before Hank takes his son and former almost wife to Chicago (they live in London of course) and he never sees them again. He attempts to prove this by showing he can not only run in the upcoming marathon, but beat Hank as well. Theres the movie in a nut shell, minus the ending.

Parts of it were pretty funny, but a lot also fell flat for me. Simon plays a pretty normal (British) guy, so he is easily relatable and root-able. I wasn’t even sure if I liked it overall until the end. The end and race (which is like, 30 minutes) did a great job of making Simon way better than Hank, and giving a great feel good story that will make you all warm and cozy. It is mostly predictable, the movie plot lines, but that is fine.

Run fatboy run
Also, check out his assistant couch. Win.

Also, in case you are wondering, the charity he chooses is “National erectile Disfunction Awareness”.

2 out of 4.

2012

Roland Emmerich. You all know him. He brought us the new Godzilla, Day After Tomorrow, and 10,000 BC. Sure, he also brought us Independence Day, but some people don’t like that (I do!). But not really the others. All over CGI’d disaster films (like ID4. Shh) or just overly CGI’d mess, if not a disaster. So, as expected, 2012 is pretty much the exact same thing.

what
“Welcome to Earth!” – Will Smith, narrating the movie.

Plot of the movie is simple enough to grasp. 2012 in December is the end of the world. Why? Mayans “predicted” it. Or they just stopped caring at least. Oh shit though. Large solar flares fucking up the earth. I think melting the core (err) or something, causing crustal shifts and other problems. Oh man, the poles end up switching, land breaks apart, and so many earthquakes guys. This leads to Yellowstone blowing up (a supervolcano) and a lot of tsunami’s from the earthquakes.

There ya go.

Some people knew this may happen a long time ago. So they began making “Arcs” to hold the rich, the powerful, and the brilliant, to recreate the world once all this shit happens. John Cusack, who was camping with his son and daughter in Yellowstone, heard crazy old Woody Harrelson talking about it all, and started to believe him. Similarly, GEOPHYSICIST played by Chiwetel Ejiofor is trying to get DC to evacuate and stuff.

We also have Danny Glover as the president, who is getting two old for this evacuation shit, and his daughter, Thandie Newton. Who else? None other than Oliver Platt as vague political guy who wants to save himself. Amanda Peet plays Cusack’s ex wife and Thomas McCarthy as new husband, boob doctor.

That is probably enough.

So as expected, this movie is a mess. It is actually 2.5 hours long, so you will get your disaster on hard and you will get it on long. I am a big fan of a geophysicist not only being an important part of the movie, but also a strong moral leader for the other characters. Normally since geophysicist are usually seen as godless people anyways, its good that this one could be that and a good person.

What else was kick ass? Woody Harrelson as crazy conspiracy nut.

Woody Harrelson
Neither left nor right wing, this guy isn’t even a bird.

So what was the bad parts? I could do a long article about how scientifically some stuff is stupid. But I won’t. But seriously? The supervolcano was actually UNDER exaggerated when it exploded. Which is crazy for any movie to do, but I guess they wanted to have a plot afterwards as well.

But a bigger complaint to have, that in terms of “Disasters” they used the same device three times to show panic and running away. Meaning, on three separate occasions, with the same group of people, there was a panic to hurry and have their plane take off with not much runway. Three. Times. In a row, actually. Every place they went, until the final “oh now its hard to land” scene. There wasn’t much creativity there at all. Very aggravating.

Effects were okay. Kind of got tired of them killing off people just for the sake of killing someone, instead of any good real disaster reason. (See: When they first get on the Arc).

Oh well.

1 out of 4.