Tag: Jason Biggs

Entirely my fault, but as soon as I started to watch this movie, I was immediately disappointed.

I saw L!fe Happens in the RedBox, and was like, “HOLY SHIT THE GOOCH IS STARRING IN A MOVIE GO GO GO GO GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!”

Well it’s not The Gooch. It is just Krysten Ritter, who always reminds me of The Gooch. Except for when I started to watch Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23. I started that show because I thought it was Christina Ricci.

Basically, I have no idea who this fucking woman is.

The story begins with Deena (Kate Bosworth) and Kim (Ritter) really wanting to have sex. They are roomies, you see, and actually both brought a guy home! But they can’t find any damn condoms. Well, one, and Deena claims it. A year later, Kim has a child. Max, aww.

They also have a third roommate, Laura (Rachel Bilson) but she is a virgin and that’s all she brings to the table in the movie. I guess as a sort of opposite to the main two?

Anyways, the baby daddy (Rhys Coiro) doesn’t want to be a dad, so she is basically on her own. She pushes her baby on other people, like her dad, and roommates, because she still feels the need to party and feels like she deserves it. She also ends up falling for some Nicholas dude (Geoff Stults) and tells him the baby belongs to her roommate. That’s a good start to a relationship.

So now she is all lying it up, and constantly trying to make her friends help her out. They don’t like that, or the lies. Hey, Jason Biggs and Justin Kirk are also in this. Hooray~.

Um. Uhhh. Just hanging out ladies? That’s cool. Stop staring at me.

Turns out there is not much to say about this film. It was just terrible. Characters aren’t really likable, story is boring, there aren’t really any funny moments. It literally has nothing going on for it. So little that I can’t even make a good joke about it.

I mean. Fuck. Why would you do this to me, movie people? Such a boring lame movie? I trusted you, and you just poked me in the eye. Twice. The same eye. I mean, it is nice of them to not do one poke per eye, or else I’d be blind, but the second poke on an already poked eye is basically pointless.

Nevermind, if an eye poke was pointless, it probably wouldn’t actually be a poke, would it?

Lower Learning is a brand new take on the corrupt and out of control high school where the students and teachers have to fight back in order to not get closed down.

And that just means it takes place in an elementary school instead.

Mad Libs is also instant entertainment.

Jason Biggs is a vice principal at an elementary school, where life sucks every day. He feels like he does nothing with his job, mostly because the principal Rob Corddry doesn’t let him. He just goes to work, has a boring day, and goes home to his boring life. But out of the blue, he sees Eva Longoria, whom he went to school with. He was nerdy back then but always had a crush on her. But she has bad news, at the end of the day the school will be closing down.

Oh noes! Well it makes sense, when you have teachers who are depressed and drinking, Monica Potter, having weird boxing style tournaments, Will Sasso, incredibly good at teaching but inappropriately talking about sex, Nat Fixon, while also going after the nurse, Jill Latiano, it all just makes sense. Others are on drugs, some refuse to teach. No fucks are given at this school, except by Biggs.

It is more weird when he finds out that no one seems to care. Tenure and shit. But something else is off, why is the principal trying so hard to get the school shut down? Secret embezzlement of millions of dollars you say? That’s strange indeed! Also Ed Helms has a small role as a board member who is way too needy.

I mean, he was losing to a GIRL.

As the plot unfolded I thought it was kind of interesting. Some of the jokes given by the teachers were pretty good as well.

But it did not unravel the way I had expected. It got a bit lamer, and lamer, until the ending was a big…ehh whatever. Worst unfurling ever.

That is pretty much the only way I can described it. Kind of interesting, yet getting more and more disappointing. High potential, low follow through. It just felt like train wreck. Assuming I knew what those felt like.

I am proud that I used unfolded unravel, and unfurled though.