Tag: Family

At blockbuster there are tiny strips of paper to show what is coming soon, with the title and release date on them. The one for prom must have been prented incorrectly, because the background was dark, and I could only barely make out the words PROM on it, definitely not the word disney. So I assumed it would be a horror movie. It was pretty creepy. But then there was a colorful poster, with a big group of diverse kids all dressed up and no blood. And the word DISNEY. My mistake!

I definitely thought this movie would be bad based off the company and idea, but it ended up being a much more pleasant and enjoyable story than I could imagine. It also has tons of recognizable faces in it. Hank and the Rehab Dude from Breaking Bad. The main chick was in Scream 4 (She plays the “dumb blonde with big tits”(Scream 4 quote)) who dies at the beginning. There is also the ginger gay kid from Shameless. But finally, my personal favorite, THE DUDE WHO GLOWS from Sky High. Now he is all grown up and super tall. Black hair too, not gold.

Most useless super power ever? Maybe to you. But I lost my keys and it is dark.

This movie starts 3~ weeks before your typical movie prom aka best night of high school…in film. It has quite a few storylines outside of the main one which is largely predictable. Unfortunately it shows a lot of crazy/dramatic gestures from males in this high school asking females to prom. I am afraid for future generations, in case this movie becomes popular enough to fill girl’s heads with even more unreasonable expectations about a dance.

I thought most of the storylines were fine / cute / good, but the one I liked the most was with THE DUDE WHO GLOWS from Sky High (man sky high rocks). Maybe because its a been there, done that type story for me.

Movie has some stereotypes and cliches, but thankfully there is enough “different” people that you could probably find someone to relate too. Wont buy, but I did enjoy the one watch I had.

Whew! Thats a long title. So from now on, it will be PJOTLT. Just rolls right off the tongue. This movie is I guess based off of some book series as well. Not to mention greek mythology (no way!). When I saw this preview a year and a half ago, I thought it was a joke. What is this crap? Well, after viewing it….I liked it. It was a very interesting movie.

A friend of mine says compared to the source is no where close. Oh well, fuck the source material. I only care if it is super wrong, and I was just told it left parts out. Movies aren’t books.

Picture taken just after some people read the previous lines.

A lot happens in the movie, and its very close to two hours in length. The visuals are pretty, and there is a lot of action. Are there things I’d like to change? Heck yeah. Afterall, I am a damn ancient history major as well as a geologist. I know me some greek mythos (as it is real history).

I don’t like how they like to show the Underworld/Hades as Hell/Satan. That bugged me, in terms just Americanizing greek mythos. Some may say that me not caring that these movies being different from the books, but caring that it doesn’t fit in with greek mythology is hypocritical. I say it is wayyy different. It’d be like calling a person a Christian in a movie, and noting that they plan on going to Las Vegas once they die. Just different stuff.

Seeing Brandon T. Jackson as a Satyr was cool. Pierce Brosnan as a centaur was awesome. Logan Lerman was also in 3:10 to Yuma (the new one, obviously), and carried the movie well as the lead Percy Jackson. A lot of cheesiness was in this movie, but it is to be expected with its rating. Having the story be about the son of Poseidon, and not Zeus, was a refreshing change.

I couldn’t find a good picture, but you can kinda see his crazy legs.

All I am saying is I might be watching the next one of these in theaters. If someone had told me it had Brandon T. Jackson as a Satyr, I would have seen this movie immediately. So there you go.

Jeez. This movie has a lot of problems, which go way deeper than no more Anne Hathaway.

Of which this site is more than happy to fix.

It seems like it took all the parts I disliked from the first movie and turned it into this sequel. The first movie had the awesome interview scenes for 2/3 of the film, and some nice witty dialogue. The end, where they went all special agents to stop a squirrel? Pretty dumb. I laughed a bunch in the first one. This one had no laughter (minus the Troll scene).

The jokes fell flat, basing them almost all on stereotypes. The order of the old ladies or whatever wasn’t interesting. Cartoon old ladies never are. I didn’t want any Granny in this movie, but we got tons of Grannies. The first movie had a lot more of the woodcutter, and that is also why it excelled. The animation sort of reminded me of a video game the whole time I watched it and not in the good way. David Alan Grier as a troll made me laugh though.

But seriously. The ending of the film didn’t even make sense didn’t even make sense. No reason to think the rules of their universe/the snacks would work that way. That was dumb.

Why do they think Hayden Panettiere is a good replacement for Anne, I will never know. But at least Patrick Warburton, who does the wolf voice, still has an awesome voice. Probably the best part of the sequel (and the troll).

Pictured: Awesome (or Moss) the Troll.

0 out of 4.

How To Train Your Dragon? Dumb title. Just saying. Let’s have some creativity dreamworks. Good luck making an evil baby dragon look cute also.

Oh shit.

Awww, look at that cute evil glare.

In this story we have Viking like people! Hooray! They are at war with the dragons because…uhh they are dragons and dragons are evil. Our main character (Jay Baruchel) sucks at fighting, and would rather just learn. He ends up hitting the dangerous Nightwing dragon DOWN FROM THE SKY! But no one sees him do it, and it is at night, and for whatever reason no one will go into the woods with him to get it later. Their loss. Cute dragon he finds, and he can’t kill him. But aww, its wing is broken.

Eventually he gains the dragon trust, all in secret of course. Adults don’t believe kids. While he is training with his dragon, he is also getting trained how to fight and kill dragons with the other kids. Through his dragon, he learns little secrets to subdue them without weapons, that no one else knew about. Shit, dude is a genius! He thinks that there is nothing evil about the dragons, and maybe something else is evil forcing the dragons to be “bad”. Just saying, of course. He even makes a book eventually. About how to train a dragon. Oh okay. got it now.

Lot of voice actors in this one, including Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, America Ferrera, and T.J. Miller.

Your heroes, ladies and gentlemen.

And here is what pissed me off. Family movies (or movies for kids) love to do this shit. Make adults unable to change and accept the word of a child. All the time, and use it as a main plot point. It is stupid, and bullshit, and makes me so mad.

Once they find out about his trained dragon, guess what? Everyone flips their shit. They stop from killing him because, well, if they let him go, he can lead them to the lair and kill them all. Obviously that is the best advice! Because this kid, who has surprised everyone for months over his tactics that he learned from a dragon, on how to subdue them, on how they are not bad, and on the fact that a dragon listens to him? That is all hogwash. The fact that any of them would constantly interrupt him and ignore him is the bullshittiest bullshit at that point.

Even if they were at war their whole life, their first reaction would be more confusion and panic and a willingness to listen. That on it owned ruined this from a great film to an okay one for me..

Of course everything changes by the end and people accept the dragons. Thanks to the kid character, they can all now learn how to train a dragon. The sequel being called HTTYD2 doesn’t make sense though. Oh well. I liked this more than Toy Story 3 (the movie it lost to for awards) though overall, is because unlike TS3, it shows that people can change, even if it takes some unreasonable amount of time. Guess what my biggest complaint of TS3 is? Hah.

Was I entertained? Only kinda. Most of the songs in the movie end up being bad, except of course the small parts where Anne Hathaway gets to go LaadaadaaAaahAhhh. That’s a rough estimate of how her lines go. In fact, the best songs are during the closing credits. Whats up with that? Make some of them part of the movie. Most of the birds ended up being rappers too. Will i Am didn’t need to be in this. Was interesting hearing Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords though. Didn’t realize it was him until the rap part in his song. Too bad his bird character was annoying.

“Clearly you just haven’t seen my real life bird impression.”

The plot was silly. The character, Blu (how original0, voiced by Mr. Social Network himself was a nerdy out of place bird who couldn’t Jive with the happening lifestyle of Rio. He couldn’t even fly! He didn’t like the music, and he liked having an owner. What a freak. Not even Anne Hathaway in bird form could make him change his mind. It took a wacky adventure of hijinks and looking for his owner to gain his own independence. But you could have guessed that. I don’t like the tie in with Angry Birds.

I also don’t think they accurately portrayed Carinval. They make it seem like one big parade at night and that is it. Not the multi-day all day every day affair that it is. Also costumes weren’t skimpy enough. But seeing the owner in her bird outfit for Carnival was CGI-Hawt.

SHAKE those tail feathers!

2 out of 4.

Good job Flynn, showing up right when Rapunzel turns 18 and when she is DTF. Wait what?

He learned all his moves from that Chameleon, if ya know what I’m sayin’.

“Tangled” says this chick was stolen from her kingdom after being born by an evil witch. Her hair is magical, so she is using her hair to stay young. Vain witches are vain. The sheltered bitch doesn’t understand why on her birthday all these lanterns light up the sky, but she really wants to see it. Of course vain witch says no. Thankfully, there is Flynn, the rapist! I mean thief.
What?

I mean, it doesn’t say WHY he is wanted. You know, if you ignore the word Thief at the bottom.

So she finds a way out and goes on a wacky adventure, being chased by smart horses, other thieves, guards, and witches. I hope no one ever has any reason to use her. That would be rude.

Chuck from Chuck does the voice of Flynn, making the movie instantly better. I cant even remember the songs in it, but I know there is at least one. The academy awards taught me this. Mandy Moore is in here, and like every other movie I see her in, I have no real clue who she is. Was she a singer? Always an actress? What? Despite not a big role, we also get Hellboy as a voice actor. I feel like he never gets big roles anymore. This is a sham.

This is also very gorgeous movie, you should watch it on Blu-Ray.

9, or by its other title of “Little Big Planet: The Movie” is probably the best looking “animated” movie I have seen on Blu-Ray. Too bad the ending sucked.

Only 10 voice actors were needed for this movie, because as expected, a post apocalyptic film wouldn’t have many characters (I’m looking at you Book of Eli). The main doll is voiced by Elijah Wood, who is much more enjoyable at talking to dogs than being a hobbit. It also features Jennifer Connelly and John C. Reilly.

“Why yes, I do enjoy the path my career has taken post LOTR.”

But the ending is not at all what I expected. Here is a spoiler! When 9 returned to the first room to see the video, he finds outthat the Machine is lacking a human soul. Wait a minute, aren’t all of the dolls made up of a human soul? Yes. Before 5 dies he says the other eaten dolls are still alive, but just in the machine. Huh.

Maybe it is just me, but how does that not make it seem like they were made to be sucked into the machine, so that he won’t be corrupt and can actually make a better future/rebuild the world? Instead, he somehow interprets all of that as a “This is how we can destroy the machine!” leaving just 4 stichpunks and some rain after they succeed. WTF?