Tag: Dianna Agron

There is a chance that this movie might have snuck on by me, and that would have been a travesty. It came out last weekend, both in theaters and on VOD. Shiva Baby is based on a short film of the same name with the same lead from a couple of years prior. People liked the concept, and hey, it was expanded, with some bigger names added to the cast overall. It went from 8 minutes to 77 minutes. Definitely a full length movie now, but shorter than most movies that are released, meaning it will still feel short in some aspects.

So how did I hear about Shiva Baby?

Just word of mouth. Another friend said they heard it was “More Stressful than Uncut Gems.”

Whoa. Calm on down now. Uncut Gems was by far one of the most stressful movie experiences I have ever had in my life. It involved guns and death, gambling and high stakes, women and jewelry, athletes and bookies.

Just by comparing the two, you have my attention.

The face you make when you don’t inherit your parent’s height.

Danielle (Rachel Sennott) was just trying to get her sex on, when she gets a voice mail from her mom reminding her of a funeral that day. Fuck. Okay. She missed that, but she is expected to show up for the Shiva, and be there for hours, talking with all of her relatives, and old friends. But everyone there is so nosy. They pry. They want to know if she has a job lined up. How is college. What her major is. Who is she dating if anyone. And she has to answer these questions, with her parents (Polly Draper, Fred Melamed) there who know some of the truths too, so she can’t just lie.

But you know who also shows up? The guy (Danny Deferrari), she was sleeping with, who gives her money for things. Her “job” that she says she has for her parents and friends to get off her back. Turns out she was lying to him. He was lying to her too. Turns out he has a wife (Dianna Agron), and a kid.

And to top all of this off, her best friend Maya (Molly Gordon) is here, and she is seemingly being a complete bitch to her in all of her moments of woe.

Cramped spaces. Relatives. Family friends. Food. Old people. Babies. Who wants to be trapped in this situation when your entire reality is crumbling?

It is hard to see someone looking more miserable than our lead here.

To start with the comparison, no, it is not more stressful than Uncut Gems. That was an unreasonable bar to start at for any movie, so I quickly adjusted my expectation on stress levels early on and it was a wise decision.

Because Shiva Baby was still quite stressful. The run time being under 80 minutes was perfect for the situation we were in at the Shiva. The level of claustrophobia felt very real and very high. The viewer will feel stuck in that house with all these people that you also, do not want to talk to. Not just because of Covid, or your own levels of social anxiety, because you know you also won’t have any answers to their damn questions. Each one making our lead character, and us, feeling uncomfortable. Their disappointment in their tone and eyes.

And that is only one aspect. All of the drama about the job, college, the relationship, just really adds up. The main reason this all works so well has to be the score used throughout the film, full of quick violin bursts, almost feeling like a horror film at times from the sound alone. The acting across the leads as well is great. Timing and realistic conversation is what makes this thing work, and they put their skills together to make it work great.

Emma Seligman, the director, showcased a strong film for her first feature length project. I don’t know how much of the movie drew on her own experiences growing up, but you can tell this story was handled by someone who wanted to make sure that various messages were given care. That grief is strange. That sex work is not only okay, but not a big deal. That sexuality in general can be a spectrum and that relationships aren’t always straightforward and need time to work out for some.

Shiva Baby is an overall great film to add to the “Stressful Jewish Cinema” collection. Not above Uncut Gems. But slightly beside it. Let’s get some more in this genre, please?

4 out of 4.

I was really excited for The Family, I really was. Luc Beeson, who gave us Leon: The Professional and The Fifth Element, was directing this movie, and Martin Scorsese was the executive producer. If anyone knows mob movies, it is Scorsese.

An all star cast, the only person really missing from it was Ray Liotta. What could go wrong?

Nothing could go wrong with his beard, that is for sure. Well, a lot could, apparently.

The Family starts off with the family moving to the wonderful land of Normandy, France. Why? Well, Giovanni Manzoni (Robert De Niro) used to live in NYC, working high up in the mob. But he is a snitch, and as we know, snitches dig ditches…unless they can’t be found. To reward his snitchiness, the FBI (Tommy Lee Jones) has rewarded him with witness protection for the rest of their lives. After all, if they let snitches die, then people won’t snitch, and they won’t arrest the bad guys. That would be sad.

Too bad Giovanni keeps causing too much of a scene wherever they go, so they have to keep finding new places across France to live.

Normandy, famous for getting invaded by the good guys in World War II, is now getting invaded by the “Blake” family. His wife, “Maggie” (Michelle Pfeiffer), daughter, “Belle” (Dianna Agron), and son, “Warren” (John D’Leo).

Of course, with a new town, comes new backgrounds. Hopefully Giovanni’s idea to become a writer, working on his actual memoirs, doesn’t come to bite him or his family in the ass.

Also featuring Jon Freda as the main hit man after the family, and Vincent Pastore as a mobster. Classic Vincent.

Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t smile. Tommy Lee Jones is not amused. The good news is that Ray Liotta is totally in this movie. For about a second, just his voice, and technically a cameo, but darn it, I am counting it.

The premise of the film is simple enough. Quirky characters trying to assimilate into a quiet community, but they’re not trying too hard. Each character has a unique plot line, however only two of them are really fleshed out, De Niro and Agron.

Pfeiffer’s side plot (getting involved with a church) has the fewest scenes actually associated with it, and D’Leo’s sideplot seems to be missing important steps. He goes from getting in trouble at school one moment to running away the next without a real explanation. Agron’s sideplot involved falling in love with her math tutor, and unfortunately, the love or the repercussions of that love all felt fake.

Strangely enough, the only person I really enjoyed in this movie was Tommy Lee Jones. His character wasn’t in large portions of the film, and he was incredibly sarcastic, but somehow it all worked.

But in all honesty, for an action comedy, I barely laughed, and the action was pitiful. De Niro was charming at least. The film climaxed with a sudden blood bath, and then just sort of ended. No real conclusion and an unsure amount of character growth.

Basically, an overall waste of talent and my time. That is when I realized that The Fifth Element was 16 years ago, and Beeson hasn’t done too well since then. Clearly the man has lost his touch.

 

1 out of 4.

Alright, so obviously, this movie/concert is for fans of Glee. If you don’t already like Glee, you have no reason to watch this movie. Probably won’t enjoy it. It would be weird!

So pretend this review of the 3D Concert Movie from a person who is a fan of Glee.

And a fan of the “Wharblers” who yes, are in this special as well.

This movie had a few technical problems with it. Video quality wise, some cameras were great, and it popped on Blu-Ray. And other cameras that they used were super grainy. Not what you expect in a “Blu-Ray movie”. Similarly, the sound wasn’t as high quality as it could have been. Could be a product of the live concert-ness. But I have a pretty good surround sound set up, and it got crackly and awkward at parts, which is bad for “jamming”.

The concert also had three side stories of “diverse” fans, a midget cheerleader, a big girl with Aspergers, and a gay black kid from middle school. We (had) to hear their stories and how Glee made it better, along with random fans throughout with quick quips on what they like, etc. You know, standard concert movie annoyances.

The clips they had backstage I was hoping for more real look at the cast members, but they were still playing their roles, not themselves. That was disappointing.

The songs that made it onto the movie in order are: Don’t Stop Believing, Sing, Empire State Of Mind, I’m A Slave 4 U, Fat Bottom Girls, Don’t Rain On My Parade, PYT, Ain’t No Way, Jesse’s Girl, Valerie, Firework, Teenage Dream, Silly Little Love Songs, Raise Your Glass, Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy, Safety Dance, Lucky, “Forget” You, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Born This Way, Loser Like Me, and Somebody To Love after the credits.

The most impressive fact about this is that it is almost all of the CD of the concert. 22 of 23 songs, just missing Dog Days Are Over (in special features, along with Friday, which isn’t on the CD (and Acoustic)).

As far as individual songs go, the Wharbler songs were good. Gwyneth Paltrow. The dancing was generally good. Songs were usually good, minus the sound quality parts. I was also disappointed that the “Vague backup vocals” that are obviously not the actual other glee members in the show, were played during the concert as well for some songs.

I am not a fan of the song “I’m A Slave 4 U”, but holy shit, Heather Morris was way super hot in this high quality movie.

Good old fashioned family entertainment.

I was also hoping Mathew Morrison would be there to sing songs, but just like season 3, they seem to be trying very hard to make sure he doesn’t have much singing anymore in the show.

Again, as a glee fan, the concert was just okay. Had enough technical problems to bug me, and would only warrant one viewing. Damien McGinty was also shown in the audience, with a quick 1 second cameo.

2 out of 4.

Here is a movie that started out interesting, but got boring by the end. Relying on teen angst, bad special effects, and a “oh man sequels?” ending to attempt to bring it to the big time.

Shit, do I even need a review anymore after that?

Everything I just said is described in this picture.

I Am Number Four is about Aliens! When I first heard that, I assumed it was a spoiler. Turns out that is a very obvious and told right away fact of the movie. Main dude, played by Alex Pettyfer is the main character. Turns out when they were kids, their home planet was destroyed. Nine babies were taken to Earth. For some reason, they can only be killed in numerical order. So Four (the main guy) cannot die until One, Two, Three area dead. Cool for four. But what the fuck does that mean for one? Was he the “slaves child” or something? That is some bullshit for him.

Well it turns out the first three are dead! By the same evil aliens who took over their old planet. He also has a protector dude, played by Timothy Olyphant. Thanks to fucking up, he had to move again, this time to Ohio. He meets at school outsider/photographer Dianna Agron, and new friend Callan McAuliffe.

Blah blah. Eventually bad guys show up. Turns out they are supposed to protect Earth from them. Number Six (Teresa Palmer) shows up out of no where (And you know, isn’t afraid of dying). Blah blah blah. And yeah. End of movie. Looking for more survivors. He doesn’t end up boning Dianna Agron.

Which is a shame, because she is so Bumpable when she isn’t singing.

But as I said, it was way more interesting at the start of the movie. Then it just took some weird turns and made it less appealing, and then yeah. Ended. For shame, I Am Number Four. For Shame.

1 out of 4.