Tag: Byron Minns

Ah yeah, a completely random movie I have never heard about it. Sexy.

Racism aside, the cover of Somebody’s Child had two black men and one woman on the cover. I will say I figured it would be some sort of baby daddy drama. Nope. Wrong again. I also got it because I knew the star was great at kicking ass and taking names, so there could be a fight scene or two!

Needless to say, this movie offered none of this, and I was just as confused as these two men.

No baby drama. No fight scenes. So much sadness.

Douglas (Michael Jai White) is a simple man. He is a single dad, who also lives with his mom, Constance (Lynn Whitfield). Well, she lives with him. He owns a restaurant and believes in giving people second chances. No time for love, not yet. Especially with his mom needing a Kidney, and waiting for a match.

Alright, so that isn’t any good. But they know they will get through it. They just have to believe and trust God.

Well, at the hospital they see another man, Benjamin (Byron Minns), and she convinces him to offer him a job at the restaurant instead, knowing for sure he must be a felon working on getting his life back on track. They were right! He is on a path of redemption too.

And uhh. Then some redemption happens. Secrets. Everything kind of works out for the best and the movie ends.

Douglas also starts dating Hope (Nadine Ellis), their travel agent, but that plot isn’t important to the story.

What the fuck is this? Why in the hell is there a painting of a scene from this movie? Or super weird lighting?

I think I accidentally watched a lifetime movie. That would explain it. IMDB tells me it was made for TV. It must have been lifetime. Or Hallmark. Because not a lot happened in this film.

There was one twist roughly near the end, but something pretty easy to figure out way before hand. The bigger part of the twist was more confusing. But I don’t want to spoil it.

Fuck it, spoilers, here we go. Benjamin and Douglas are brothers, the mom had to give Benjamin up for adoption and his life was rough. So karma eventually brought them together because they all did good stuff for strangers. Yay. Benjamin also donated the kidney to the mom, out of the goodness of his heart, before he knew they were related. Yay being friendly to strangers! Yay Jesus!

So yeah, very basic inspirational made for TV movie, that teaches us everything works out kind of. Even if your life is shitty and in foster care for many years, causing you to circumstances that might end up with someone dying. Even then.

Damn it Michael Jai White, no more movies where you don’t fight anyone.

Dy-na-mite! Dy-na-mite!

Theme music, everyone wants some, but no one has any. Unless that someone is Black Dynamite. Originally recommended from my brother, I think I was given an illegal copy of this movie to watch. Shocking I know. But I never watched it. But when I was at a store later and saw it for only $7.50, I figured I’d just grab it and watch that version, easing my conscious. Hopefully yours are now eased as well.

If anything this film taught me the term “blaxploitation”.

Black Dy-na-mite! (Michael Jai White) is a bad ass motherfucker, who kicks ass, takes name, and takes the women as well. He is a former Vietnam veteran, and CIA agent, but left because e was too amazing. But when his brother Jimmy gets killed through mysterious means, e gets back into the game to find out the culprit. He is re-recruited into the CIA by O’Leary (Kevin Chapman) so he doesn’t go on an unsupervised rampage.

Eventually Black Dynamite is able to team up with some local gang leaders to “take back the streets”. Once they realize local orphans are hooked on heroin, he vows to clean up the drugs and anyone who pushes them. Part of his posse includes Cream Corn (Tommy Davidson) and Bull Horn (Byron Minns). Not to mention other characters who help briefly, such as Osiris (Obba Babatunde) and Tasty Freeze (Arsenio Hall).

During his mission and investigation, he also runs into Gloria (Salli Richardson-Whitfield), a political activist who wants to make the city better, get good politicians, and get the kids off of drugs. The classiest woman he has ever met, basically.

But who is supplying the heroin to the kids on the streets? Why is The Man being so secretive about Jimmy’s death? Just where is Kung Fu Island? How does Anaconda Malt Liquor make you “Ooooh!”?

These guys are “Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops and greens, can you dig it?”

So what makes this movie good? The answer is pretty much everything. Spoofs are a hard genre to pull off, because preferably behind it all is a level of intelligence or wit, and not just the characters being spoofed doing fart jokes or just slapstick. This movie parodies a lot of quick movies from the 70s and 80s, with a powerful black character, bad acting, bad editing, over styled color schemes, and super hip lingo. A Shaft-like movie, if you care.

The filmmakers pay incredible amounts of attention to detail, at the elements that make it seem like they weren’t paying attention. Everything is intentional in the movie, and its awesome. From badly edited scenes (a fight scene that is redone but shows both takes, obvious differences in a characters face during a dialogue from cutting back and forth), to the cheesy dialogue, to the fight scenes and ridiculous plot, to the most ridiculous Jeff Goldbloom-esque word association game to find out the clue.

Michael Jai White obviously kicks a lot of ass, which is a general theme of movies he helps direct/write. The movie was successful enough to spawn a cartoon of the same name, which I haven’t seen yet, but can’t wait to watch. You don’t have to be a fan of the genre of films to enjoy this movie, I can’t say I’ve seen any of them myself. But still, this is a great film to watch with others and enjoy the finer things of life in the 70s.