Gulliver’s Travels

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Says I as I read the back of the cover. “How can this movie be only 85 minutes? To do a good Gulliver’s Travels, you should probably do at least 3 hours, honestly! What is this,” Asks I, “Does he only go to the small people and big people island?”

That’d be like writing the ginger and hotchick out of the Harry Potter movies.

Yes is my response, and yes is the unfortunate truth. And by big people island, he barely does that. This movie isn’t even close to the book, so it’s ridiculous to share the name. Made for kids. Pah. I think they just wanted to have the break out of being tied down scene, which they could do anyways with creative common licenses by now. 12 or so minutes was wasted getting to the island, and then the rest of the movie, just him and the little people.

I liked all the big names down there. Hah. Big Names. Jason Segel played the tallest of the little people. And the evil general (Chris O’Dowd) for most of the film, until treason, I just felt sorry for. It could just be because he was my favorite part of Bridesmaids and did very well here too.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess something that actually used some of the source material, not just what anyone would be able to tell me about the movie. There is a lot of interesting stuff there, and they will probably just make a bunch of sequels, doing bad versions of them too. The only reason I am giving it a higher rating than 1 is because I liked the rendition of War. Sounded fake, but watching them all dance in unison with a tall Amanda Peet was awkward and good.

Just please don’t ever try to tell me Jack Black would make a legitimate world traveler/writer ever again.

Unless he is writing more music and traveling for a band tour. I am fine with that.