Cinderella’s Revenge

Cinderella’s Revenge was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 26th, 2024. You can see an interview I had with the lead actress Lauren Staerck, here.

What if Cinderella (Lauren Staerck) decided to go and like, kill? You know, get some revenge? Revenge against her step-sisters (Beatrice Fletcher, Megan Purvis) and step-mother (Stephanie Lodge). Ideally, she should have a good reason to go on a murder spree. Something bigger than chores and not getting to go to parties.

So in this story, Cinderlla’s father was murdered! And the step-mother was involved in the process. Now, pretend the rest of the story is the same for a bit. Except, when we get to the ball and fairy godmother (Natasha Henstridge) scene, Cinderella still gets a dress and a carriage. But instead of a regular dress, the fairy godmother brings in people like Tom Ford from the future, to design it. Not played by real Tom Ford, no. And what about her carriage? Well, its an electric vehicle, driven by Elon Musk of course. Because, and I quote, “Whenever you need a stylish mode of transportation that’s good for the environment, he’s your man.”

What?? Of course it should be noted that there are no cars in this time period, so, its certainly magic. But…also what?

Anyways, eventually, the prince ball scene happens, the step sisters foot cuttings happen, but it isn’t enough and they want to stop Cinderella. So eventually she gets like, a magical mask that lets her kill people to get revenge. Yep.

Also starring Darrell Griggs, Mike Kelson, and Ricardo Freitas.

The makeup women had at that time period was something else. Okay, title alone, this seemed like one of those movies I never really normally waste my time with. Very low budget horror films, that are easy to make and churn out. I do my best to ignore them, I do. But this one I felt like doing the interview, and still giving the movie a try. But honestly, I should also trust my gut more. I have so much of it.

The best part of the movie was the intro, but it inexplicably was just like a lyrics video to the song Cinderella Snapped by Jax. Like, literally, it was graphics and words on the screen, doing the first verse and chorus. And then when Cinderella Snapped happened at the end of the chorus, Cinderella’s Revenge popped onto the screen. Does that mean we have a big pop-rock soundtrack for the film? No, that was the only one. And that started the film, so it was all downhill from there.

First, it is so absurd of them to still do the entire Cinderella plot line, but then put a little bit before hand to make it different, and still have the last third of the film or more to be the “oh yeah, this is a horror film so we need killing” part of it. Why wasn’t it better incorporated into the whole film and normal story? I couldn’t say.

This film randomly has two sex scenes as well, I guess, for the small chance that would help get viewers.

But really what kills me, as you may have guessed already, is the weird fairy godmother, future people nonsense of it. It wasn’t funny to have these people in it. It was down right uncomfortable to even have anyone worshipping Elon Musk at this point. All of this made the film just feel like…well, a joke. And maybe they were going for comedic parts of this horror overall. Or some “hah we are so silly” moments. But turning Cinderella into a horror film shouldn’t actually be that difficult. You can tell the normal story, with a lot added into it to creepify it. But in this movie, it was like the normal story was just that, normal. They tagged on the silly fairy stuff. And then before and after the story some murder.

It reminds me of how uncomfortable I felt reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Badly mashed together concepts that would both be better suited on their own.

I’d say I don’t recommend the movie, but, I can’t imagine anyone finds this on their own anyways.

0 out of 4.