Tag: 2 out of 4

Apparently if I watched some of the trailers for The Big Year, you still wouldn’t really know what it is about. I will tell you right now. BIRDING. Or Bird Watching, if you want to be lame about it. Yes. The art of looking at birds and feeling good about yourself.

Mort importantly, A Big Year in the birding world is a competition to see who can see the most birds in a single calendar year. The competition can be state / province based, lower 48 states, or the biggest area of all states except Hawaii, and a bunch of other territories around the US. I didn’t learn these until I wiki’d that shit.

Can you tell who each of these three big actors are by just this picture alone?

So the story tells of three different “birders” who are attempting the big year. Owen Wilson plays an expert birder. In 2003 he reached a new record for A Big Year, reaching 723, putting him into instant celebrity status. Well, pseudo celebrity. Dude can find a bird like no other. He hasn’t attempted another big year since, but this year he is just going to do it for a few months, set the pace, make sure no one is getting close to his record. But will his dedication and drive break apart another marriage?

Steve Martin is a CEO who is retiring finally. Super rich, he wants to try a big year, full support with his wife, JoBeth Williams. But his job constantly is bugging him to return to the game, to fix problems, to even take another job. Joel McHale and Kevin Pollak are the corporate D-bags who continue to harass him throughout the year, warning him that after retirement, comes death.

Jack Black is the narrator and also attempting for the first time. He has trained to recognize any bird by a few notes only. He isn’t rich though, kind of poor, disapproving dad, and working a full time job to help pay for this during the year. But he is inspired to finally do something with his life. If he could also woo over Rashida Jones (who can do hundreds of bird noises on her own (I think in real life too?)), double win. Bird love. All that shit.

The movie shows the three men and their journey across America, just doing the things they love. They don’t travel together, but they run into each other enough to build a rivalry. Of course they don’t want others to know they are doing a big year, will make them no longer help them out. The movie probably sounds super boring. Bird watching. Wtf?

But look, there is some action!

Of course this whole thing is based on the honor system. Don’t have to take pictures, because hearing the bird counts as well. So it sounds like cheating may happen, and obviously it is dealt with in the movie. Not to mention Jim Parsons of Big Bang Theory slinks about in the movie as well.

But overall? The story was definitely done pretty nicely. By the end, you don’t hate Owen’s character like you’d expect. Everyone has their own appeal and their own “happy ending” so to speak. Had some chuckles, and hey, good for the whole family.

I decided to watch this movie ahead of schedule in honor of this. Unfortunately, it is all a lie and a tease for a car commercial. Join me in never buying whatever car it happens to be. WHY PLAY WITH OUR EMOTIONS, WHY?

Wait, what is the movie called again? I think I found her.

Finding Amanda, despite being the name of the movie, is actually not that hard of a task. He finds her pretty quickly. Who is he?

Matthew Broderick plays a “succesful comedy writer” for a “hit TV show”. But his stuff hasn’t been as good lately. He also used to be addicted to smoking and alcohol. But that is all behind him. Gambling is his thing now. He is seeing therapy for it, and cant carry around a checkbook or a credit/debit card, despite it being his money. His wife Maura Tierney would be upset, you see, if he wasted it all.

So after another argument (damn Horse races!) he decides he can prove that he is over gambling. He is going to Las Vegas to find their niece Amanda, Brittany Snow, who is hooking. He will find her, convince her to go into the rehab that they already paid for and he wont gamble at all. But thats a lie. He gambles a shit ton before even looking for her.

Besides, how bad could her life be? She has a nice home, living with her boyfriend Peter Facinelli, and makes bank. Sure, creepy people, might have been raped when she was younger, and rude people. That part might not be good. Broderick also has to worry about Steve Coogan, one of the head guys in the in the casino/hotel he is staying at, who helped loan him some money to get him on his feet. But he is getting very angry.

So can Broderick convince his niece to go into rehab? Can he change his lying ways to his own wife, or will he strike it big first. Also, will anyone believe that Amanda is his actual niece when they are hanging out in Vegas?

Nope

So I gave this a dark comedy, because it wasn’t really laugh out loud funny. What you get to see is the tailspin of Broderick’s character as he is going through a huge mid-life crisis. It reminds me of the role he played in Election, but this time his downfall is pretty much his own fault and not of some young girl. The beginning started off pretty slow, but it really started hitting its stride once he found Amanda. The ending was pretty great, and makes sense overall.

Kind of also sends a positive message. What you’d expect in a movie about hookin’ and gamblin’.

POWER!

Good word to have in a movie title. Adventures Of Power? Sounds EPIC. Oh, the main character is named Power? I see what they did there. Okay. Less Epic though.

Needs more explosions.

Power is played by Ari Gold, and …wait. Ari Gold? Like, Entourage big shot, foul mouthed Ari Gold? No, that guys name is Jeremy Piven. So there actually IS an Ari Gold out there? That seems weird to me. Ari Gold is a stand up comic apparently, and also wrote and directed this movie. Alright. Maybe its a fake name? Lets assume so and move on. Just in case, I will only call him Power.

Anyways, Power lives in Lode, NM, where they get that copper. His dad (Michael McKean) is leading a strike! So times are tough, he has to live with his aunt (Jane Lynch, hippie) because of the whole no income thing. Unfortunately for the dad, Power (who has always been poor) is addicted to the horrible activity of…air drumming. It embarrasses him, and the whole town laughs at him, except for one Mexican boy who believes him.

Power decides one day to leave the town, because there is nothing for him here! There is a big air drumming competition in NYC, but he needs a team, and finds himself in Newark (After some illegal Mexican air drumming tournaments). Somehow he impresses people with his skills, and finds a team (a low member, but a team nonetheless). His dream is the win the tournament, and give his part of the earnings to his dad to help the strike team last until they can have their demands rightfully met!

While this happens, he also falls in lough with a kind of deaf girl (Shoshannah Stern, who if you ever seen a kind of deaf girl on a show/movie, it is probably her). She can feel the music, but not hear it, and with his air drumming, she can really start to “understand it”.

Unfortunately a “real drummer” has entered the tournament, and is likely to win it just by being a celebrity. Cowby Dallas Houston is played by Adrian Grenier wh…wait. Wait again. Adrian Grenier? The “main” famous Vincent Chase character from Entourage? That’s odd.. Um. Kind of freaking out. I guess its just another coincidence.

Well, the first round of the tournament is weird, but they make it to stage 2, where the entire team has to work together to play the entire drum set, each being a different drum/cymbol. They show three teams do that, and they are pretty damn epic. The final round is the endurance challenge, in which Power goes head to head against Dallas and some Chick.

Where ACCURACY matters.

Can he beat a real drummer? Did you know that air drumming is actually more difficult than real drumming? After all, with real drumming, you only have to push the sticks down, they will bounce off the drums. But air drumming you have to bounce the sticks off of AIR. That’s up and down!

The biggest problem with this movie is excepting the its reality. In this world. Air drumming is a thing, that can be shunned. It is way more popular than normal, and kind of underground, but not illegal. Unfortunately a lot of the training in Newark, the middle third of the movie, wasn’t that interesting. Beginning and ending way more interesting. Final tournament definitely epic.

But one that you might love a lot more if inebriated.

Extraordinary is one of my favorite words. Especially if you say it for real, and not the shortened way (Extrordinary). Extra. Ordinary. That means beyond ordinary. It means AWESOME.

Well, for Extraordinary Measures, I figured it would be about spies or secrets or government or something. I mean. Look at the cast! Nope. It is a feel good movie about curing diseases. Damn it!

Well, at least we might get some hxc science.

Brendan Fraser plays high up not CEO but business guy who does something. What does he do? Not important. He leaves that job in the movie. But it has nice health insurance. That is good, because out of 3 children, the last two have Pompe disease. Which means something, but just picture kids in electrical wheelchairs, with a fatal disease that means they probably wont make it to 10.

But when the doctor tells him that his two children will both probably die within a year, him and his wife, Keri Russell, freak out. But Brendan freaks out more, leaves working during an “important meeting” and flies out to Nebraska to find Harrison Ford, MD. Ford is a better theorist than he is a scientist, and he believes he knows how to help cure Pompe disease. But he’d need money, and it will take awhile. Brendan says he an get him that money in a month (half a million dollars!).

Well, he only gets $90k. But that is way better than expected. So Ford, grumpy old Ford, says they will have to start their own business and lab, get money from investors, to work on this. But he needs a CEO to do it, and even though there are plenty more people qualified than Brendan, none of them would have the same drive that he has (You know. Trying to save TWO kids). So he quits his job on a gamble. Alan Ruck (who has one scene) tells him it is crazy, but you know one, you have to be crazy sometimes.

So the movie tells of the tale of them trying to get funds, trying to rush science, and do whatever it takes, even if it means their pride have to take a bashing, to find and develop a cure. For added guilt, Coutney B. Vance is a friend of theirs, who also has two children with the disease.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Alive.”

So, this is a feel good movie, based off of the real story. So here are some spoilers. Yes, they find a “cure”. Or at least one one that if administered to infants can get rid of it, but one given to older children can get rid of the dying thing (not the whole, cant walk and etc thing). Yes, the children are still alive today (Posted Jan 26, 2012, for anyone reading this in the 2030s or whenever in the future). Yes, pharmaceutical companies are bitches. Also, no cows were harmed in this movie.

I wasn’t sure if Ford was the best choice to play scientists looking to start his own biotech company. Because he just seems super old. But hey, its Fords movie, so he will be a big role if he wants to! Fraser didn’t entirely mess up the movie either. His goofiness was appropriate, and it seemed like he really cared for these fake, not really Pompe looking kids of his. But everything is expected, and really, nothing too different about this movie and other extraordinary measure like movies.

The Tourist is the last of the “movies I have been avoiding unreasonably” mini theme that I just came up with. Gotta love an unplanned movie shortage!

I mean, what kind of outfit is that for boating?

Angelina Jolie is some sort of spy or agent or something. You aren’t sure. It is pretty vague beginning. Maybe she is a bad guy? But she is getting on a train, and people seem interested in what she is doing.

Typical plot line won’t do. Apparently she used to be all criminally with a lover, who owes over 700 million in back taxes. But he doesn’t want to be found, so he spends 20 million on super awesome plastic surgery. Shh. The government knows this too, so they assume Angelina Jolie will lead them to him. She is told to go on the train and find a person of “similar statue, height” and make the coppers think that that is him, so that she can meet up with him later.

So who does she pick? Johnny Depp, a math teacher on vacation (a tourist!) in Italy. He of course thinks everything is awesome. Hot woman who wants to eat with him, and lets him stay in her wtf-mazing hotel? Hot stuff. Until he wakes up the next day with 2 foreign people trying to bust in his door, and get him, because that guy also pissed off foreigners.

Turns out Jolie is also working for the man, to help bring her lover in, for her own safety.

But who is this mysterious man actually? Will Depp get something popped in his ass because of it? Is Paul Bettany really fine being in a movie where he mostly is in a “control room”?

Maybe the power of math can fix everything!

So, a weird thing happened halfway through the movie to me. I realized that I didn’t hate it yet. I also didn’t like it yet. It felt way super neutral the whole way through. I never really felt shocked by the shocking moments, but I also wasn’t mad by the disappointing shocks. I might have never felt more “2 out of 4” for a movie than this one. Seriously.

I can’t even tell if I am recommending it or not.

Watch maybe?

Ah-ha! When there is no movies to watch during a weekend (cause of screw ups) I have to resort to back up plans. Unfortunately, there is only enough movies in my backup plan to last this weekend, so instead of depleting that, I am going for back up back up plan. Movies I kept avoiding for no reason. And with that, The Green Hornet!

Which I think would have been sexier as a CGI movie myself.

Seth Rogen is a spoiled playboy. His dad runs a large newspaper complex, so he never really has to work. He always wanted to do right by people, but got in trouble as a child. So he felt like his dad never cared! But then his dad dies. OH SHIT. He is in charge now of his shares? And in movies, if you control 51% of the shares or more, you can do what you want. He gets all mad and fires everyone in his house.

But finds out his coffee sucks, so he rehires the coffee guy, who also is good with cars, Kato (Jay Chou). Kato is also good at every other damn thing in the world. In case you didn’t know the Green Hornet is all Kato being a bad ass, and Green Hornet being not as cool as Kato, which the movie tries to show.

Blah blah, eventually they try to fight crime, and succeed, but are scene as criminals. Because he now runs the paper, he can have them publish stories on them and sell his image! Even if Edward James Olsmos says it is a bad idea, the oldest editor there. Also there is Cameron Diaz as criminologist secretary. David Harbour and Christoph Waltz are also in the movie, not necessarily as “bad guys” but big dicks.

Yep, just huge criminal kingpin dicks.

So this movie has everything you’d expect. Small humorous quips, badass car, Kato being a badass, eventually Green Hornet and Kato fighting and no longer being friends, Green Hornet wanting to tap Cameron Diaz, betrayal, the death of a hero, and everything. Seriously. Everything is pretty much expected.

It wasn’t the funniest movie, nor did it have the best action. Hell, even the plot was just okay. I think the reason I put off watching it is because of the drama that went into finally making it. Pretty much a decade of problems, with a lot of possibilities of much cooler movies based on the actors previously put into the project. But we got Seth Rogen, so I can’t help but be disappointed.

Overall, the movie was decent on its own, but kind of felt like it brought nothing new to the “hero genre”. Afterall, Hong Kong Phooey already brought us the “bad ass sidekick” concept in TV/Film before Green Hornet (which yes, existed way before Hong Kong Phooey. But still. That was radio and then comics). But was it bad? Not really. Just okay.

Back by popular demand, we have more Zac Efron! I am also right now confused, because I thought he was supposed to star in the new Footloose. Now I realize why the cool kids didn’t laugh at my jokes. Shiiiiiiit.

After three High School Musicals and one Hairspray, he didn’t want to be type-casted. Huh. Too late for that?

Efron plays the title character in the movie, Charlie St. Cloud, and near the beginning his younger brother (Charlie Tahan) is killed in car accident with him behind the wheel. Well shit! Charlie is at least brought back to life thanks to an Ambulance doctor, Ray Liotta, but not his brother.

FIVE YEARS LATER.

Turns out Efron is still in the same town. Never left, despite a scholarship to Yale for sailing, or something like that. He now works at the graveyard, super angsty. Oh yeah, he sees dead people now, kind of. Plays catch with his brother every day at sunset, to get him prepped for baseball. Yeah. Sometimes he sees other people too, but that isn’t importantly. Clearly he is fucked up.

Enter Amanda Crew, someone he knew from high school, who also likes sailing. She is going to sail across the world in a race! Her dad is trying to help prep her (Donal Logue), and is worried that Efron kid will ruin it all up. Since he is creepy now anyways.

This could have been Efron, damn it.

So yeah. Stuff happens. Efron kind of gets interested in sailing again. But what if he joins her on the race? Will he lose his brother officially forever if he isn’t there to play baseball? There is also a secondary very important plot but telling you about it is just major spoilers so I wont. Was an interesting surprise, needless to say.

The movie was a lot sadder than I had guessed. I mean, the sadder moments happened at the beginning right? You’d think wrong. The camera work was surprisingly good too, for what I expected to be some cheesy teen movie or something. I liked the story, but it might have been too slow. Also, Liotta was way too creepy for his like, three scenes. Religious zealot much?

The Girl Who Played With Fire is the sequel to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo in the Girl Who Has Long Titles, trilogy.

This one doesn’t have an American version yet, so I won’t put Swedish in the title. Heck yes!

She looks more normal in this film. Well, in this scene. Others she looks just as weird.

So this movie takes place a year after the first? I think so. Year is a relative term. Since the last movie she only a had a year left of having a guardian, but in this movie, guardian seems to still be a problem. I didn’t like it, seemed force, mostly because it seemed like Lisbeth said the same exact shit as the first movie, and it was just unnecessary. So that bugged me.

Michael Nyqvist still plays the detective dude. This time instead of focusing on rape, they are working on sex trafficking. So kind of rapey. I guess.

Talking about the plot of this seems silly. You would only watch it if you’ve seen the first movie, and unless you hated the first one, the plot summary wont convince you to watch this one. So what does this one have? Less rape, as I said. Plus more lesbian sex. Also long lost family members, set ups on crime, and some more computer hacking. But that is about it.

Personally, as just a movie, I found this one to be kind of a mess. Maybe its the transition between book and novel, or mini series and movie? But it was just hard to follow. A lot of stuff was assumed.

Like they assumed Lisbeth did the murder because of some fingerprints? A lot of weird shit happened in this movie, and most of it seemed to come not from the main sex offender plot.

This might have been a deleted scene from The Warriors?

The only reason I am giving it the “one watch and thats all you need” rating, is because acting wise they did pretty good. But me understanding the point of the movie? That was low. Wouldn’t want to watch it again. I can at least see why there would be a third movie after this, based on the ending. So that is a plus too.

2 out of 4.

Ahh! Fooled again!

When I saw the movie title A Perfect Getaway, you know what I assumed it was about? Cars. Crime. Running away from crime maybe and being awesome on a beach. Something with action and betrayal. All of that you know?

Turns out I was wrong. Perfect Getaway refers to the location (this location being someplace in Hawaii). And it is a lie. It isn’t really perfect. Because there is a couple of psychopaths apparently running around, murdering couples. What!? DID I ACCIDENTALLY WATCH A HORROR? Fuck!

My perfect getaway is nerd-free. Including myself.

Milla Jovovich and Steve Zahn are a couple. Oh yeah, start suspending your belief. They just got married, so they want to go on a vacation. Steve being a movie writer or something, and Milla just being whatever. Their goal is to hike out to a remote part of Hawaii, that you need permits to camp in, and enjoy being alone and free!

But they run into other people. Like Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton, two free spirited hitch hikers on the side of the road, who they don’t give a ride to. Yes, Thor plays a dirty hippie like character. They refrain from showing you his god like face at the beginning, because you need time to fully comprehend this fact.

After they run away from them, they run into Timothy Olyphant in the wilderness, who ends up saving Milla’s life. They follow him, since he is way cooler, and they find out he has a woman of his own in Kiele Sanchez. They also end up finding out that a newlywed couple was killed in a hotel where both groups had just come from a few days prior. Not only that, but they know a couple killed them, and removed their teeth and finger nails to make it so they couldn’t be identified.

Well, that’s creepy.

But who did it? Who can trust who? Or, is their an additional couple out in the wilderness, stalking them, trying to kill them all?

Or was it just Thor? He seems twisted.

So, obviously once I realized this whole movie was about an island and not car racing, I had to take a step back. Make sure I wasn’t missing anything. The questions you would wonder are answered about 3/5 of the way through, and are pretty interesting. Unfortunately, it then goes through a whole bunch of flashbacks, that really take you out of the moment. You know, since it takes you through the last few days again. So unnecessary feeling.

After the the action tends to pick up again, or at least panic does. They do a lot of interesting camera shots, that seems like they were just made for trailers, and seem weird in an actual movie to me. So, despite it being an interesting story, I think the film shot itself in the foot with the last 2/5. Which just disappoints me even further.

But hey, I could just be upset that there was only one car scene at all.

Courageous is by the same people who brought us Facing the Giants, Flywheel, and Fireproof. Do you know those movies? I don’t. But I do applaud these people on making a movie that didn’t start with F. That is good news. Those movies have something to do with football, used car salesmen, and firemen. This one cops. That is about all I knew.

Oh, and for some reason the quote about how amazing it is is not done by a critic, but Tony Dungy. A former NFL football coach. Err, alright.

Maybe a message about family too?

This movie centers around four cops. The main guy is played by Alex Kendrick. Who also directed this movie. And the other 3 listed. And has only been in four movies overall counting this one. Yes. He is one of those guys. His partner is played by Kevin Downes, who is the only main character to be an actual “Actor”. The other two cops are Ken Bevel (two roles. This and fireproof) and Ben Davies (first role).

So the premise is that a “shocking event occurs” that changes all of their lives, and because they are cops, you expect it to have something to do with that. Nope. Main dudes daughter ends up dying by a drunk driver in the middle of the day (seriously, at like 2pm). Eventually Alex wants to change his life, thinking he didn’t get to do enough with his daughter and not wanting to feel the same with his son. So he makes a pledge up for everyone to sign, if they choose, that is pretty long, about being the head of their house, raising their kids right, etc.

Robert Amaya also is friends with them, since he accidentally got a job from Alex (thanks to having a common name and the guy he meant to hire being injured, whoops). But more or less that is about it. One of them eventually turns out to be stealing drugs from evidence, which goes against “Everything” they pledged to do. And then there is a kind of gang story line. That takes quite a long time to get anywhere.

Oh yeah. There is the other parts of this movie that are super about Christianity. Possibly the main focus of all of these films, and I had no idea.

No, that did not give it away either.

As I already mentioned, of the five main guys, only one of them has actually been in other movies and seems to make a life acting, and it shows. Not that they had to do much in terms of strenuous acting. Pretty much go from “Be calm! Be Sad! Be Angry! Be Calm!” or something like that. Movie was wayyyy too long for what actually happened. I think having 5 main people was too much. THey just wanted to show many examples of them being “Courageous” in their fatherly duties. Like getting back with an ex wife, not lying on the job, and marrying your daughter.

What? Ken Bevel’s character plot got super weird to me in this dinner scene, and no part of it seemed believable. The best storyline belonged to Robert Amaya’s character. Mostly because he had an interesting scene as the “Snake Gang leader” and you really felt proud of him as a person.

Oh yeah, and from the ending speech, it really seems to kind of throw some anti-gay marriage stuff in there. What’s this? Tony Dungy (that poster quote guy) is the spokesman for All-Pro Dad? Which is founded by Family First, a group known for being against gay marriage? Just making sure.